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Old 07-31-2005, 07:40 PM   #1
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Default Quotable TV shows

Here are a few from some of my favorites.

"M*A*S*H":
Charles: "...tatoos are the common man's way of investing in art."


"The Andy Griffith Show":
Barney (to Andy): "I say this calls for action, and now. Nip it in the bud!" Barney: "Only one way to take care of this." Andy: "Nip it." Barney: "In the bud."

Last edited by Ohio8; 07-08-2020 at 06:06 PM.
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Old 07-31-2005, 08:36 PM   #2
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MASH and Andy Griffith definitley, and Seinfeld!-"But I don't wanna be a cowboy"!-Jerry
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Old 08-13-2005, 02:55 PM   #3
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Father Mulcahey-"She hugged the stuffing out of me"!
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Old 08-14-2005, 05:00 AM   #4
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Friends
Joey - "How you doin'?" "Could I be wearing anymore clothes?"
Ross - "We were on a break!"
Monica - "They don't know that we know they know."
Phoebe - "Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?" "They don't know that we know they know we know."
Rachel - "I'm sorry. Are we giving birth to an 89 year old?"
Chandler - "Hey Richard, if you're in there, can you please give me back my credit card?"
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Other shows to check out:
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Old 08-15-2005, 09:31 PM   #5
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From MASH-Captain Frank Burns-"It's nice to be nice to the nice".
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Old 08-17-2005, 05:54 PM   #6
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The Facts of Life

Mrs. Garrett: GIIIIIIIIIRLSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

Blair: I just had another one of my brilliant ideas!

Tootie: We are in trouuuuuuublllllle.

Natalie: Why would I want to be a skinny pencil? I'd rather be a happy magic marker!

Jo: You born, you live, you die, THATS LIFE!
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Old 08-17-2005, 07:34 PM   #7
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I Love Lucy: "Ethel to Tillie"
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Old 08-17-2005, 08:07 PM   #8
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"Seinfeld" = ultimate quotable sitcom.

"Friends" is pretty quotable too.
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Old 08-17-2005, 09:12 PM   #9
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[QUOTE=slackermonkey]"Seinfeld" = ultimate quotable sitcom.

That's for sure!
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Old 08-26-2005, 02:31 PM   #10
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Arrested Development is the best sitcom to quote. I mean, how do you really beat:

Tobias: I'm afraid that I prematurely shot my wadd on what was suppost to be a dry run and now I have something of a mess on my hands.

Michael:...Just so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.
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Old 08-26-2005, 07:31 PM   #11
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Seinfeld: "These pretzels are making me thirsty!"

Also Friends. Chandler: "Sometimes I wish I were a lesbian." "Did I say that out loud?"
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Old 10-23-2005, 02:55 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohio8
Here are a few from some of my favorites.

"M*A*S*H":
Charles: "...tatoos are the common man's way of investing in art."
Father Mulcahey: "Our daily bread is stale again." B.J.: "This meat is from the Civil War: Blue on one side; gray on the other."
Father Mulcahey (to Radar): "Who's Walter?" Radar: "That's my given name." Hawkeye: "Give it back."

"The Andy Griffith Show":
Barney (to Andy): "I say this calls for action, and now. Nip it in the bud!" Barney: "Only one way to take care of this." Andy: "Nip." Barney: "In the bud."
Highly recommended reading: PRIMETIME PROVERBS: THE BOOK OF TV QUOTES, by Jack Mingo & John Javna (1989). I found mine on eBay. John
Javna also wrote THE TV THEME SONG SING-ALONG SONGBOOK (also
recommended).
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Old 10-23-2005, 07:13 PM   #13
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Friends:

Joey: Hey, Monica is dating him! There's gotta be SOMETHING wrong with him!
Chandler: Joey, be nice... So, does he have a hump; a hump and a hairpiece?

Chandler: "You're such a nice guy" means: "I'm gonna date leather-wearing alcoholics and complain about them... to YOU!"

Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (looks around) Did I say that out loud?

Ross: I just want to be married again! (Rachel walks in, wearing a wedding dress)
Chandler: And I just want a million bucks!

Happy Days:

Fonzie: Some guys are good lovers, some guys are good fighters... I happen to be both!

Fonzie: "Fonzie, shut up"? "Fonzie, shut up"? Why don't you just say: "Fonzie, would you remove all my teeth?"; it's the same result.

Fonzie: Where do you keep the ladies at the evening?.. Never mind, I'll find them myself!

Fonzie: The one thing you guys need to understand is that the Fonz has powers that goes beyond explanation!

Fonzie: I'm afraid Ive got to hit her!
Howard: You can't hit my wife!
Fonzie: Well, then I'll have to hit you!
Richie: You can't hit him.
Fonzie: Well, then I'll hit you!
Howard: You can't hit my son!
Fonzie: Well, I've got to hit SOMEONE!.. Where's Potsie?

Marion: Oh, that's right, I haven't taught you about love!
Fonzie: WOW Mrs. C.!
Howard: Fonzie, love is a term in tennis.
Fonzie: 'LOve', 'scoring'.. I think I'm gonna like this game!

Fonzie: Next time I come over to the plan, I'll handle the women!

-------
Fonzie and Chandler are the most quotable tv-characters ever. I could go on forever.
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Old 10-24-2005, 12:48 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rusyd
From MASH-Captain Frank Burns-"It's nice to be nice to the nice".
you mean MAJOR Frank Burns, not Captain!!
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the Clampetts are in a fancy Beverly Hills jewelry store. Granny points to a tray of rubies.

Granny: "How much fer one o' them red diamonds?"
clerk: "Madam, those are rubies."
Granny: "OK ask her kin we buy one offa her."
clerk: " The ruby I am talking about is not a lady."
Granny: "Lissen, how she got them diamonds is her business. I'm just sayin' ask her kin we buy one from her."
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Old 10-24-2005, 01:11 AM   #15
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"Taxi"-Jim (after Tony introduces him to 2 twin girls) "So, the egg split in the womb, huh?"

"MASH"
Fr. Mulcahey: (rushes into Col. Blakes office while Blake is tuning in the Army-Navy game on the radio) "Let's hear one for the gipper!"
Col. Blake: "Father, Notre Dame isn't even playing!"
Fr. Mulcahey "Oh" (looks crestfallen) "Then, what's all the exitment about?"

"Laverne & Shirley"-Laverne (talking about Lenny and Squiggy) (Besides, they're my friends. I'm not proud of it, but they're my friends."

"All in the Family"-(Archie is arguing with Henry Jefferson about what color God is) Archie: "How come all the pictures I've ever seen of God, he's white??"
Henry Jefferson: "Well, maybe you were looking at the negatives!!"

"All in the Family"-Archie (talking to the father of a man, George, with a leaning disabilaty)
"So, if you don't mind me askin' how did George get that way? When he was a baby did someone throw him up on his head an' forget to catch him?"
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