The Guys' Rule - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

swedeace · 07-31-2005, 11:06 AM

I got this in an email, and it's just hilarious! Notice they are all numbered "1" on purpose!

The Guys' Rule

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.? Let us be clear on this one:
? ? Subtle hints do not work!
? ? Strong hints do not work!
? ? Obvious hints do not work!
? ? Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only IF you want help solving it.? That's what we do.? Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done. Not both.? If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.? Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.? Pumpkin is also a fruit.? We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will BE scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.? We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.? Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.? Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Brent88 · 07-31-2005, 12:22 PM

I've seen that before...

Southern Hellraiser · 07-31-2005, 12:24 PM

Max Whittaker · 07-31-2005, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swedeace

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Yeah! Tell 'em!

Quote:

Originally Posted by swedeace

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

Well, he didn't find what he was looking for, either. Now did he?

Titania · 07-31-2005, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Max Whittaker

Well, he didn't find what he was looking for, either. Now did he?

haha, just what i was thinking....he did a great job finding that route to india...

crying really is blackmail...lol....but no, we never have enough clothes and shoes.

barwars · 07-31-2005, 04:47 PM

This one was good....
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.? Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.? Pumpkin is also a fruit.? We have no idea what mauve is.

But this is the best, by far....
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

swedeace · 07-31-2005, 04:48 PM

This list is so funny! I could just SEE my guy friend saying or agreeing to about half of these things.

robyrob · 07-31-2005, 05:40 PM

sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

Brent88 · 07-31-2005, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by barwars

This one was good....
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.? Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.? Pumpkin is also a fruit.? We have no idea what mauve is.

But this is the best, by far....
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

What color is mauve anyway??? I've only heard it once before.

barwars · 07-31-2005, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brent88

What color is mauve anyway??? I've only heard it once before.

I think its like a tan/pinkish color. Somewhere around there. I'm really bad with colors. I was told our prom colors were going to be black, silver and lavendar. I was expecting a greenish color, we get there -- and its purple.

swedeace · 07-31-2005, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brent88

What color is mauve anyway??? I've only heard it once before.

I don't even know what color it is, and I'm female!!!

Titania · 07-31-2005, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by barwars

I was told our prom colors were going to be black, silver and lavendar. I was expecting a greenish color, we get there -- and its purple.

thats great...
i told my date that my dress was cobalt....he had no idea.

i think mauve is sort of a pinkish purplish

robyrob · 07-31-2005, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brent88

What color is mauve anyway??? I've only heard it once before.

its strictly a "chick" color - stick with periwinkle, lapis lazuli, or aubergine.

Brent88 · 07-31-2005, 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by robyrob

its strictly a "chick" color - stick with periwinkle, lapis lazuli, or aubergine.

swedeace · 08-04-2005, 07:41 PM

I showed the first half of this list to my guy friend, and he told me he found the followng to be the MOST true:

Quote:

Originally Posted by swedeace

1. Come to us with a problem only IF you want help solving it.? That's what we do.? Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

07-31-2005, 11:06 AM	#1
swedeace Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 22, 2003 Posts: 9,009	The Guys' Rule I got this in an email, and it's just hilarious! Notice they are all numbered "1" on purpose! The Guys' Rule 1. Men ARE NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want.? Let us be clear on this one: ? ? Subtle hints do not work! ? ? Strong hints do not work! ? ? Obvious hints do not work! ? ? Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only IF you want help solving it.? That's what we do.? Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done. Not both.? If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.? Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.? Pumpkin is also a fruit.? We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will BE scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.? We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation or golf. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape.? Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this.? Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

07-31-2005, 12:22 PM	#2
Brent88 Member Forum Star Join Date: Aug 01, 2003 Location: Alabama Posts: 16,174	I've seen that before...
	__________________ Brent

07-31-2005, 12:24 PM	#3
Southern Hellraiser Member Forum Star Join Date: Feb 08, 2005 Location: Mississippi Posts: 19,960
	__________________ Jeremy

07-31-2005, 05:40 PM	#8
robyrob certified wackball#3 Moderator Forum Icon Join Date: Aug 03, 2003 Location: hiding under the third booth at Arnold's Posts: 58,200	sounds perfectly reasonable to me.
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07-31-2005, 04:47 PM	#6
barwars .. Forum Star Join Date: May 04, 2002 Posts: 13,273	This one was good.... 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.? Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.? Pumpkin is also a fruit.? We have no idea what mauve is. But this is the best, by far.... 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

07-31-2005, 04:48 PM	#7
swedeace Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 22, 2003 Posts: 9,009	This list is so funny! I could just SEE my guy friend saying or agreeing to about half of these things.