Chuck E. Cheese article by Carol Tannehill - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Miss Golden · 07-30-2005, 04:49 PM

http://www.fortwayne.com/mld/newssentinel/12245192.htm

Chuck E. Cheese is a haven for loud games, pricey food

If you like game tokens with your pizza, this eatery is the place for you.

Can you run out of maternal instinct? I’m afraid I squandered mine on dogs and boyfriends, and now I have none left for drooling babies, temperamental toddlers and snarky preteens.

The prospect, therefore, of dining at Chuck E. Cheese’s made my blood run cold.

I expected this kiddie paradise of pizza, video games, climbing apparatuses and mouse mascots to be a version of hell, like the locked drawing room in Sartre’s “No Exit.” A lunch hour in there could telescope into eternity.

My friend, a former preschool teacher who had the good sense to graduate to adult students, laughed at me.

“They’re just children, for heaven’s sake,” she said. “They won’t bite. … OK, sometimes they bite.”

I shook my head. “It’s easy for you to laugh. Kids like you. They smell my fear.”

I had already put off reviewing Chuck E. Cheese’s once — on a school-year Saturday packed with birthday parties — so I felt compelled to proceed on this weekday in midsummer. I steeled my nerves.

My friend and I felt quite out of place without little towheads, but the hostess didn’t bat an eye. Does that mean some adults actually come here on purpose, without being pestered by offspring? We were allowed to go right in since we didn’t have children who needed precautionary ID-tagging.

We had no more than passed through the turnstiles — yes, turnstiles — when I heard the sound of young voices raised in song. A cluster of kids, three restaurant employees and Chuck E. Cheese the Mouse were bellowing, clapping and stomping their way through, “If You’re Happy and You Know It.” I cringed like the curmudgeon I am. The only thing worse, I thought, would be, “Knick Knack Paddy Whack.”

Sensing that I was about to flee, my friend pushed me toward the counter where customers order their meals. I scanned the menu. The offerings are limited, but packed with kid appeal. Grown-up palates need not apply.

My friend and I decided to share a chicken wing appetizer ($5.99) and a small Super Combo pizza ($11.99). I placed the order and paid my money and received, in exchange, two empty soft drink cups, seven golden game tokens, a receipt and a plastic teepee with No. 14 on it. We chose a table, set the teepee on the edge, as instructed, and waited.

The dining room, if you could call it that, was teeming with children carrying plastic cups full of tokens in their sticky little hands. They flitted from here to there, lighting just long enough in front of a video game to pull a few levers and poke a few buttons. Occasionally, they’d run up and hug the stoop-shouldered, man-size mouse, who looked like he needed a stiff drink and a dry-cleaning.

Actually, the kids were pretty well-behaved; it was the games themselves that made my blood pressure climb.

One, called the Tower of Power, rang with eerie celestial chimes. Another shouted, “Do the YoYo Punch!” every minute or so. The sounds of squealing brakes and revving engines emanated from a car-racing game. Apparently, I also lack the hormone that lets women tune out everything but their own children. I saw one mother lounging lengthwise in a booth with a hardcover romantic-suspense novel. I noticed another mom doing her bills.

The best way to drown out the video game noise, I decided, was to play one.

“You wanna race?” I asked, shoving a token toward my friend.

“You bet,” she said.

We briefly inspected the game’s seats and steering wheels for kiddie effluvium, then settled into the imaginary cockpits. My Porsche 911 could have beaten my friend’s Dodge Viper by a lap or two— if I’d been able to stay out of the infield. The steering was loose, and the brakes were spongy. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

Our wings were waiting for us when we returned to our table. There were 12 of them, served with several celery sticks and the traditional blue cheese dressing. The wings were plump and meaty, but not the least bit crispy. The Buffalo-style sauce wasn’t spicy — childproofing, I suppose — but it had good, finger-licking flavor. The celery was crunchy. The dip was creamy.

The wing bones were piling up by the time our pizza arrived. I was pleasantly surprised by our Super Combo. I expected a pizza on par with those sold at street fairs, bowling alleys and convenience stores, but Chuck E. Cheese’s was significantly better. The pan-style crust was dressed with tomato sauce, mozzarella and generous amounts of mushrooms, sausage, pepperoni, black olives, green peppers and chopped red onion. Definitely restaurant quality.

The $12 price tag was high, bordering on outrageous, although that’s to be expected at places where entertainment is included in the price. (The more food you buy, the more “free” tokens you get.) And, honestly, I can’t imagine anyone going to Chuck E. Cheese’s for the cuisine.

For dessert, we got a pan of cinnamon sticks ($2.49) and a bag of Sassy Sour Apple cotton candy ($1.99).

The cinnamon sticks, actually a small-pizza crust topped with a warm, buttery cinnamon and sugar mixture would have been great at 8 a.m. with a cup of coffee.

The ghastly green, apple-flavored spun sugar was something only a kid could love.

“Can you believe parents would feed their children cotton candy at a place like this? It’s pure sugar! They’ll be bouncing off the walls,” said my friend, sounding just like the preschool teacher she used to be.

“Like pouring gasoline on a campfire,” I said, licking the cotton candy off my fingers. “I’d sure hate to be in charge of naptime today, wouldn’t you?”

For once, I was looking forward to going back to the office.

Chuck E. Cheese’s

711 Coliseum Blvd. W.

Phone: 484-9668

Hours: 9 a.m.-10 p.m. Sunday-Thursday and 9 a.m.-11 p.m. Friday and Saturday

Handicapped-accessible: Yes

Menu sampler:

♦Hot dog, $2.49

♦Mozzarella sticks, $3.99

♦French fries, $1.99

♦Salad bar (unlimited), $5.49

♦Salad (one trip to the salad bar), $3.49

♦Ham and cheese sub, $5.49

♦Italian sub, $5.49

♦Chicken sub, $5.49

♦Family Saver deal (1 large pizza, 4 soft drinks and 100 game tokens), $39.99

♦Add a medium pizza to the above Family Saver deal, $9.99 more

♦Apple dessert pizza, $2.49

711 Coliseum Blvd. W.

Phone: 484-9668

Hours: 9 a.m.-10 p.m. Sunday-Thursday and 9 a.m.-11 p.m. Friday and Saturday

Handicapped-accessible: Yes

Menu sampler:

♦Hot dog, $2.49

♦Mozzarella sticks, $3.99

♦French fries, $1.99

♦Salad bar (unlimited), $5.49

♦Salad (one trip to the salad bar), $3.49

♦Ham and cheese sub, $5.49

♦Italian sub, $5.49

♦Chicken sub, $5.49

♦Family Saver deal (1 large pizza, 4 soft drinks and 100 game tokens), $39.99

♦Add a medium pizza to the above Family Saver deal, $9.99 more

♦Apple dessert pizza, $2.49

Lee · 07-30-2005, 06:04 PM

Well at least you posted something nice about Chuck E. Cheese.

theshark8777 · 07-30-2005, 06:10 PM

Was it really nice? I mean it sounds like this lady is the mean on lady down the street who hates kids. Why the hell would she go to CEC if she doesn't like being around kids? Just to bitch about it apparently.

Brent88 · 07-30-2005, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theshark8777

Was it really nice? I mean it sounds like this lady is the mean on lady down the street who hates kids. Why the hell would she go to CEC if she doesn't like being around kids? Just to bitch about it apparently.

Exactly my thoughts...

Miss Golden · 08-01-2005, 08:13 PM

She looks just like a mean old librarian who hates kids.

vienna waits · 08-01-2005, 08:18 PM

the childrens librarians i work with don't hate kids

EmoJoe · 08-01-2005, 08:23 PM

She acted like kids were animals o_O "They sense my fear." Their not dogs. Wow what a weirdo

Hollow · 08-01-2005, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maroon5'd

She acted like kids were animals o_O "They sense my fear." Their not dogs. Wow what a weirdo

maybe they should get rid of police dogs and have the kids go around high school lockers and smell for crack instead.

dawsongirl · 08-03-2005, 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by safety pin

maybe they should get rid of police dogs and have the kids go around high school lockers and smell for crack instead.

TJL · 08-03-2005, 05:08 AM

Speaking as a single person with no children, I can understand the author's fear of kids and kid themed places - and she did admit that the children she was around that day were well behaved.

07-30-2005, 04:49 PM	#1
Miss Golden Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 06, 2003 Posts: 1,231	Chuck E. Cheese article by Carol Tannehill http://www.fortwayne.com/mld/newssentinel/12245192.htm Chuck E. Cheese is a haven for loud games, pricey food If you like game tokens with your pizza, this eatery is the place for you. Can you run out of maternal instinct? I’m afraid I squandered mine on dogs and boyfriends, and now I have none left for drooling babies, temperamental toddlers and snarky preteens. The prospect, therefore, of dining at Chuck E. Cheese’s made my blood run cold. I expected this kiddie paradise of pizza, video games, climbing apparatuses and mouse mascots to be a version of hell, like the locked drawing room in Sartre’s “No Exit.” A lunch hour in there could telescope into eternity. My friend, a former preschool teacher who had the good sense to graduate to adult students, laughed at me. “They’re just children, for heaven’s sake,” she said. “They won’t bite. … OK, sometimes they bite.” I shook my head. “It’s easy for you to laugh. Kids like you. They smell my fear.” I had already put off reviewing Chuck E. Cheese’s once — on a school-year Saturday packed with birthday parties — so I felt compelled to proceed on this weekday in midsummer. I steeled my nerves. My friend and I felt quite out of place without little towheads, but the hostess didn’t bat an eye. Does that mean some adults actually come here on purpose, without being pestered by offspring? We were allowed to go right in since we didn’t have children who needed precautionary ID-tagging. We had no more than passed through the turnstiles — yes, turnstiles — when I heard the sound of young voices raised in song. A cluster of kids, three restaurant employees and Chuck E. Cheese the Mouse were bellowing, clapping and stomping their way through, “If You’re Happy and You Know It.” I cringed like the curmudgeon I am. The only thing worse, I thought, would be, “Knick Knack Paddy Whack.” Sensing that I was about to flee, my friend pushed me toward the counter where customers order their meals. I scanned the menu. The offerings are limited, but packed with kid appeal. Grown-up palates need not apply. My friend and I decided to share a chicken wing appetizer ($5.99) and a small Super Combo pizza ($11.99). I placed the order and paid my money and received, in exchange, two empty soft drink cups, seven golden game tokens, a receipt and a plastic teepee with No. 14 on it. We chose a table, set the teepee on the edge, as instructed, and waited. The dining room, if you could call it that, was teeming with children carrying plastic cups full of tokens in their sticky little hands. They flitted from here to there, lighting just long enough in front of a video game to pull a few levers and poke a few buttons. Occasionally, they’d run up and hug the stoop-shouldered, man-size mouse, who looked like he needed a stiff drink and a dry-cleaning. Actually, the kids were pretty well-behaved; it was the games themselves that made my blood pressure climb. One, called the Tower of Power, rang with eerie celestial chimes. Another shouted, “Do the YoYo Punch!” every minute or so. The sounds of squealing brakes and revving engines emanated from a car-racing game. Apparently, I also lack the hormone that lets women tune out everything but their own children. I saw one mother lounging lengthwise in a booth with a hardcover romantic-suspense novel. I noticed another mom doing her bills. The best way to drown out the video game noise, I decided, was to play one. “You wanna race?” I asked, shoving a token toward my friend. “You bet,” she said. We briefly inspected the game’s seats and steering wheels for kiddie effluvium, then settled into the imaginary cockpits. My Porsche 911 could have beaten my friend’s Dodge Viper by a lap or two— if I’d been able to stay out of the infield. The steering was loose, and the brakes were spongy. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. Our wings were waiting for us when we returned to our table. There were 12 of them, served with several celery sticks and the traditional blue cheese dressing. The wings were plump and meaty, but not the least bit crispy. The Buffalo-style sauce wasn’t spicy — childproofing, I suppose — but it had good, finger-licking flavor. The celery was crunchy. The dip was creamy. The wing bones were piling up by the time our pizza arrived. I was pleasantly surprised by our Super Combo. I expected a pizza on par with those sold at street fairs, bowling alleys and convenience stores, but Chuck E. Cheese’s was significantly better. The pan-style crust was dressed with tomato sauce, mozzarella and generous amounts of mushrooms, sausage, pepperoni, black olives, green peppers and chopped red onion. Definitely restaurant quality. The $12 price tag was high, bordering on outrageous, although that’s to be expected at places where entertainment is included in the price. (The more food you buy, the more “free” tokens you get.) And, honestly, I can’t imagine anyone going to Chuck E. Cheese’s for the cuisine. For dessert, we got a pan of cinnamon sticks ($2.49) and a bag of Sassy Sour Apple cotton candy ($1.99). The cinnamon sticks, actually a small-pizza crust topped with a warm, buttery cinnamon and sugar mixture would have been great at 8 a.m. with a cup of coffee. The ghastly green, apple-flavored spun sugar was something only a kid could love. “Can you believe parents would feed their children cotton candy at a place like this? It’s pure sugar! They’ll be bouncing off the walls,” said my friend, sounding just like the preschool teacher she used to be. “Like pouring gasoline on a campfire,” I said, licking the cotton candy off my fingers. “I’d sure hate to be in charge of naptime today, wouldn’t you?” For once, I was looking forward to going back to the office. Chuck E. Cheese’s 711 Coliseum Blvd. W. Phone: 484-9668 Hours: 9 a.m.-10 p.m. Sunday-Thursday and 9 a.m.-11 p.m. Friday and Saturday Handicapped-accessible: Yes Menu sampler: ♦Hot dog, $2.49 ♦Mozzarella sticks, $3.99 ♦French fries, $1.99 ♦Salad bar (unlimited), $5.49 ♦Salad (one trip to the salad bar), $3.49 ♦Ham and cheese sub, $5.49 ♦Italian sub, $5.49 ♦Chicken sub, $5.49 ♦Family Saver deal (1 large pizza, 4 soft drinks and 100 game tokens), $39.99 ♦Add a medium pizza to the above Family Saver deal, $9.99 more ♦Apple dessert pizza, $2.49 711 Coliseum Blvd. W. Phone: 484-9668 Hours: 9 a.m.-10 p.m. Sunday-Thursday and 9 a.m.-11 p.m. Friday and Saturday Handicapped-accessible: Yes Menu sampler: ♦Hot dog, $2.49 ♦Mozzarella sticks, $3.99 ♦French fries, $1.99 ♦Salad bar (unlimited), $5.49 ♦Salad (one trip to the salad bar), $3.49 ♦Ham and cheese sub, $5.49 ♦Italian sub, $5.49 ♦Chicken sub, $5.49 ♦Family Saver deal (1 large pizza, 4 soft drinks and 100 game tokens), $39.99 ♦Add a medium pizza to the above Family Saver deal, $9.99 more ♦Apple dessert pizza, $2.49

07-30-2005, 06:10 PM	#3
theshark8777 Hats for Bats Forum Veteran Join Date: Jan 23, 2001 Location: northeast Ohio. Posts: 5,315	Was it really nice? I mean it sounds like this lady is the mean on lady down the street who hates kids. Why the hell would she go to CEC if she doesn't like being around kids? Just to bitch about it apparently.
	__________________ Who ate all the pecan Sandies??

08-01-2005, 08:18 PM	#6
vienna waits avatars are stupid. Forum Superstar Join Date: May 18, 2001 Location: Ravenclaw Common Room Posts: 29,859	the childrens librarians i work with don't hate kids
	__________________ Me: Did you see Dunkleman in the audience at the finale? Crystal: No! Me: Yeah, that's because he wasn't invited.

08-01-2005, 08:23 PM	#7
EmoJoe Cool cool cool Forum Addict Join Date: Apr 23, 2004 Location: New Jersey Posts: 71,478	She acted like kids were animals o_O "They sense my fear." Their not dogs. Wow what a weirdo
	__________________ "I know the difference between TV and reality, Jeff. TV has structure, it makes sense, there are likable leading men. In real life, we have this. We have you." - Abed Nadir, Community www.sitcomsarestupid.blogspot.com

08-03-2005, 05:08 AM	#10
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	Speaking as a single person with no children, I can understand the author's fear of kids and kid themed places - and she did admit that the children she was around that day were well behaved.
	__________________ "I think I'll stroll up to the front to see how the shooting's going..." - Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Read my blogs! http://centralparkamisguide.com/ http://dvdcriticscorner.com Visit me on Facebook!http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641138880 Hey, I do the tweet thing too! http://twitter.com/TomLevier My shop of handmade items! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations

07-30-2005, 06:04 PM	#2
Lee veteran member Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: May 23, 2001 Location: Pulaski, Tennessee Posts: 4,768	Well at least you posted something nice about Chuck E. Cheese.

08-01-2005, 08:13 PM	#5
Miss Golden Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 06, 2003 Posts: 1,231	She looks just like a mean old librarian who hates kids.