Big Red - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Bobby F. · 07-29-2005, 11:22 AM

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way
through the semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his
parents gave him. Then he gets an idea. He calls his Redneck father.

"Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education

are coming up with" Why, they actually have a program here that will

teach dogs how to talk!" "That's absolutely amazing!" his father says.

"How do I get Big Red in that program?" "Just send him down here with

$1000," the boy says, "I'll get him into the course."

So, his father sends the dog and the $1000. About 2/3 of the way through

the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again. "So how's

Big Red doing, son?" his father asks. "Awesome, dad, he's talking up a

storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good

results with this program, that they've implemented a new one to teach the

animals how to READ!" "READ!?" says his father, "No kidding! What do I have

to do to get him in that program?" "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the
class.

"His father sends the money.

The boy has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that
the

dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he gets home, his

father is all excited. "Where's Big Red? I just can't wait to see him talk
and

read something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This morning, when I got out of

the shower, Big Red was in the living room kicking back in the recliner,
reading

the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked,
'So,

is your daddy still messin' around with that little redhead who lives on Oak

Street?'

The father says, "I hope you shot that lyin' son of a bitch!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy..."

Kay Scarpetta · 07-29-2005, 10:41 PM

I don't get it. I must be stupid.

Ewan's My Man · 07-30-2005, 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kay Scarpetta

I don't get it. I must be stupid.

The father didn't want anyone else to know about the affair and the son knew that so he told his father that the dog brought it up so the father would WANT the dog did...I think...

poor puppy...

BTW, loved the Wicked avatar, but that one is awesome...are you going to see her in Boston...if you are...omg, I'm so jealous

My friend went and saw Wicked this past January and recommended the soundtrack to me and holy crap, I love it so much, Idina's my new idol...so now I've been collecting all her soundtracks and stuff

ok, sidenote over

Brent88 · 07-30-2005, 01:17 AM

Kay Scarpetta · 07-30-2005, 01:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ewan's My Man

BTW, loved the Wicked avatar, but that one is awesome...are you going to see her in Boston...if you are...omg, I'm so jealous

My friend went and saw Wicked this past January and recommended the soundtrack to me and holy crap, I love it so much, Idina's my new idol...so now I've been collecting all her soundtracks and stuff

Yessire, I'm making my boyfriend come with me to Boston to see her. I actually have to order tickets tomorrow before it sells out. I think I'm going to piss my pants when I'm .5 feet away from her.

I'm a broadway ****ing freak, to put it quite plainly

Idina is my favorite actress.

Ewan's My Man · 07-30-2005, 01:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kay Scarpetta

Yessire, I'm making my boyfriend come with me to Boston to see her. I actually have to order tickets tomorrow before it sells out. I think I'm going to piss my pants when I'm .5 feet away from her.

I'm a broadway ****ing freak, to put it quite plainly

Idina is my favorite actress.

Ahh, ok, I'm PMing you, this is going to get too off topic too quickly

MsOrange · 07-30-2005, 01:36 AM

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 07-30-2005, 12:39 PM

poor dog

but yet, amusing

07-29-2005, 11:22 AM	#1
Bobby F. Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 30, 2004 Posts: 3,818	Big Red A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents gave him. Then he gets an idea. He calls his Redneck father. "Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with" Why, they actually have a program here that will teach dogs how to talk!" "That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get Big Red in that program?" "Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says, "I'll get him into the course." So, his father sends the dog and the $1000. About 2/3 of the way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again. "So how's Big Red doing, son?" his father asks. "Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results with this program, that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!" "READ!?" says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?" "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class. "His father sends the money. The boy has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he gets home, his father is all excited. "Where's Big Red? I just can't wait to see him talk and read something!" "Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This morning, when I got out of the shower, Big Red was in the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messin' around with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?' The father says, "I hope you shot that lyin' son of a bitch!" "I sure did, Dad!" "That's my boy..."

07-29-2005, 10:41 PM	#2
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	I don't get it. I must be stupid.
	__________________ The people who think they know everything about Broadway make me laugh. They've never seen a Broadway play in their life. "oh mi godddd RENT's a mooovie! lyke 525600 minuuuuuuutes!" No. To be a Broadway Freak, you must live, eat, sleep, study, devout, think, obsess, dream, believe Broadway. You must know original & revival casts, soundtracks, performance runs, dates, theatres, numbers, how many Tony Awards A Chorus Line won. You must be Broadway. That's right bitches. I AM Broadway.

07-30-2005, 01:17 AM	#4
Brent88 Member Forum Star Join Date: Aug 01, 2003 Location: Alabama Posts: 16,174
	__________________ Brent

07-30-2005, 12:39 PM	#8
Pleasant Tomorrow Member Forum Addict Join Date: Feb 19, 2003 Location: New York Posts: 69,525	poor dog but yet, amusing
	__________________ my name is ashlee Welcome! Everything is fine.

07-30-2005, 01:36 AM	#7
MsOrange Bringin' Sexy Back Forum Veteran Join Date: Dec 27, 2004 Posts: 6,133