Police Sense Of Humor - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Ags2000 · 07-26-2005, 05:00 PM

And you thought police officers didn't have a sense of humor.... The following were taken off of actual police car videos around the country.

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey $#*!."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

and the best one ..

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? ..... You're right, we don't. ... Sign here."

D
:starwars

TJL · 07-26-2005, 05:03 PM

That's great. #4 is hilarious.

I have to forward those to my friend Joe the cop.

Tuesday Weld · 07-26-2005, 06:53 PM

Those are funny.

*MIBabe03* · 07-26-2005, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TJL

That's great. #4 is hilarious.

I have to forward those to my friend Joe the cop.

Have you been asked question number 4 by a cop, TJL?

Cactus Jack · 07-26-2005, 07:34 PM

Mikado · 07-26-2005, 08:30 PM

#1 seemed unfairly harsh

...shes already getting a ticket, and then he insults her too! haha

Hollow · 07-26-2005, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TJL

That's great. #4 is hilarious.

I have to forward those to my friend Joe the cop.

is he in a wheelchair?

TJL · 07-28-2005, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *MIBabe03*

Have you been asked question number 4 by a cop, TJL?

Yeah, probably...

TJL · 07-28-2005, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by safety pin

is he in a wheelchair?

Yes, and his wife has been pregnant for six years.

Rhiannon · 07-28-2005, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ags2000

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

Courtnee · 07-28-2005, 08:37 PM

Courtnee · 07-28-2005, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TJL

Yes, and his wife has been pregnant for six years.

Does he live on spooner st.?

EmoJoe · 07-28-2005, 08:50 PM

BoscoGal · 08-07-2005, 09:20 PM

Those are great!!! I love #1!!!

Rachel3118 · 08-07-2005, 11:17 PM

I thought 11 and 1 were really funny.

07-26-2005, 05:00 PM	#1
Ags2000 Red 2/13/90 -1/5/06 Forum Veteran Join Date: May 02, 2001 Location: Candyland Posts: 5,544	Police Sense Of Humor And you thought police officers didn't have a sense of humor.... The following were taken off of actual police car videos around the country. #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile." #14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." #12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun." #11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?" #10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?" #9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey $#*!." #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC." #4 "Just how big were those two beers?" #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want." #2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail." and the best one .. #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? ..... You're right, we don't. ... Sign here." D :starwars
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07-26-2005, 05:03 PM	#2
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,591	That's great. #4 is hilarious. I have to forward those to my friend Joe the cop.
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07-26-2005, 06:53 PM	#3
Tuesday Weld I missed you all. hugs Forum Celebrity Join Date: Feb 02, 2003 Location: Having a great time. Posts: 22,285	Those are funny.
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07-26-2005, 07:34 PM	#5
Cactus Jack RonFingSwanson Forum Idol Join Date: Dec 09, 2001 Location: Santa Rosa Beach,FL Posts: 103,099
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07-26-2005, 08:30 PM	#6
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,880	#1 seemed unfairly harsh ...shes already getting a ticket, and then he insults her too! haha

07-28-2005, 08:37 PM	#11
Courtnee MAN VS SAMMICH. Forum Star Join Date: Mar 23, 2005 Location: Louisiana Posts: 16,413
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07-28-2005, 08:50 PM	#13
EmoJoe Cool cool cool Forum Addict Join Date: Apr 23, 2004 Location: New Jersey Posts: 71,478
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08-07-2005, 09:20 PM	#14
BoscoGal Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Aug 14, 2004 Posts: 80	Those are great!!! I love #1!!!

08-07-2005, 11:17 PM	#15
Rachel3118 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 13, 2005 Posts: 1,768	I thought 11 and 1 were really funny.
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