From The TJL Archives - An Unfinished Movie Spinoff Script - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

TJL · 07-19-2005, 08:43 PM

Hey sports fans, TJL here.

Years ago, before life chewed me up and spat me out leaving me the broken whimpering shell of a man I'm now, I had a dream, a dream of becoming a big time TV writer/producer with a TV Network under my thumb, a beautiful house in Malibu and a hot trophy wife who loves me for my money.

A simple dream.

In my pursuit of this dream, I have amassed a large collection of unfinished TV spec scripts and original scripts, and I thought I would share one with you.

Here is a brief sample from the pilot episode of a spinoff series I wanted to do - "Author! Author!" based on the 1982 comedy starring Al Pacino.

The show centers around playwright Ivan Travalian as he attempts to juggle his work on his plays with running a household full of stepkids from his former marriage.
Please let me know what you think.

COLD OPENING
FADE IN:
INT. IVAN’S BEDROOM - DAY 1

The alarm clock buzzes. Ivan Trevalian, a famous New York playwright slaps the snooze and rolls over. The sunlight from a beautiful autumn Saturday morning streams across the bed, and he hates it. Footsteps can be heard coming up the stairs. Ivan hears them too, and covers his face with a blanket.

GERALDO (O.C.)
Ivan! Get up!

IVAN
I am up Geraldo. Go away.

SPIKE (O.C.)
Ivan! It’s me, Spike.

IVAN
Hey Spike. You go away too.

GERALDO (O.C.)
It’s ten o’clock. You gotta go to the theater to meet that actor..

SPIKE (O.C.)
Actress, idiot.

GERALDO (O.C.)
Whatever. Ivan?

The door swings open. Geraldo and Spike, Ivan’s stepsons from his previous marriage peer into the room. They survey Ivan comatose on the bed.

SPIKE
Aw, he’s so cute when he sleeps.

GERALDO
Ivan? You want breakfast? I made eggs.

SPIKE
You always make eggs.

GERALDO
Look, you wanna do the cooking, go ahead!

SPIKE
All I’m saying is some pancakes would be nice once in a while...

IVAN
Guys, please, for the love of God, let me sleep. I was up very late writing last night.

SPIKE
Ivan, Mr. Kreplich has called here three times this morning.

IVAN
Producers always call three times. That’s why producers are the most hated people in show business.

GERALDO
Mr. Kreplich sent a car to pick you up. It’s waiting for you outside.

IVAN
You can have the car Geraldo. Drive safely.

SPIKE
Well, we tried. Let’s go have some pancakes.

GERALDO
In your dreams...

Spike and Geraldo head downstairs. Ivan slaps the snooze button and rolls over. A beat later Bonnie and her fraternal twin sister Debbie, Ivan’s stepdaughters, also from his previous marriage are at the door.

DEBBIE
Ivan?

IVAN
Debbie...

BONNIE
Ivan.

IVAN
...and Bonnie.

DEBBIE
Ivan, Mr. Kreplich called and he said..

IVAN
I know sweetheart. Spike told me already. Why don’t you two have some breakfast? Geraldo made eggs.

BONNIE
Eggs again? I hate eggs!

IVAN
Yeah, me too. Don’t tell Geraldo, it’ll break his little heart...

Bonnie and Debbie exit downstairs. A beat later Igor, Ivan’s son, the oldest of his brood enters the room. He silently observes his sleeping father, removes a whistle from his pocket and blows. Ivan shoots upright in the bed.

IGOR
Get up Fosse, it’s showtime!

Off Ivan’s angry stare we:

FADE OUT.
ROLL OPENING CREDITS.

FADE IN:
INT. IVAN’S BEDROOM A FEW MINUTES LATER.

IVAN, HIS HAIR STILL WET FROM THE SHOWER, FRANTICALLY THROWS ON SOME CLOTHES WITH A CORDLESS PHONE CRADLED ON HIS SHOULDER. HE IS IN ANOTHER HEATED “DISCUSSION” WITH HIS EX-WIFE GLORIA.

IVAN
I can’t hear you Gloria. It’s Ivan. Ivan! The playwright! The ex-husband! One of them, anyway. Where are you? Nova Scotia? Yeah, I’ve heard of it, I’m a big fan of salmon. Listen, I just called to remind you about this weekend. You’re not coming, what do you mean you’re not coming? I don’t mean to pick nits Gloria, but this is the third time in a row...yes, this is the third time. I remember our last conversation because after I got off the phone with you I said to myself, what a great way to start Arbor Day! Yes, Yes Gloria, I’m pretty sure it’s this weekend. You were supposed to come here this weekend, you know, to see the kids. Spike, Geraldo, Bonnie and....Debbie! That’s right, Debbie! It’s good that you still know their names. Gloria....they really want to see you. Fine. No, don’t worry, I’ll tell them. Yeah. Bye Gloria.

He turns the phone off and tosses it on the bed.

IVAN (CONT’D)
Great, another Arbor day shot to Hell.

CUT TO:

INT. BROWNSTONE KITCHEN A FEW MINUES LATER - DAY 1

Ivan charges down the stairs, trying his best to put on his blazer. He stuffs some notes into his shoulder bag and heads towards the kitchen. Spike and the girls are at the table eating breakfast, Geraldo, perched on a stepstool in front of the stove, is whipping up a batch of eggs. Igor removes a Styrofoam cup from a cabinet, fills it with black coffee, and secures it with a plastic lid.

IGOR
(seeing Ivan)
‘Morning Pop.

Ivan spots the whistle around his son’s neck.

IVAN
You’re not funny Igor. You were never funny.

Igor hands his father the cup of coffee. Ivan eyes the large white Styrofoam cup.

IVAN (CONT’D)
What the Hell is this? Are we living in a deli? I’ll take a Daily News and a Pick Six...

IGOR
You never bring the mugs back. So it’s this, or you take the gravy boat with you.

IVAN
Geraldo, don’t stand so close to the stove.

GERALDO
My arms are short. What else should I do?

IVAN
Stop drop and roll, remember that, Geraldo.

He sets his bag down on a kitchen chair and finishes putting on his coat. Igor helps him straighten out his collar.

IVAN (CONT’D)
Good morning all my children.

SPIKE, BONNIE, DEBBIE
Good morning Ivan.

IVAN
Thanks for trying to get me up, I appreciate your efforts. And the first one who gets the whistle away from Iggy will go to the Ivy League school of his or her choice. Listen, I hate to leave you alone on a Saturday, but I’ve got a big thing with Mr. Kreplich about the show, we’re meeting this hot new actress he wants for the lead. A woman named Alice, Uh, Something. It’s the name of a city. Cleveland? Alice Cleveland. That’s it.

BONNIE
I think you mean Alice Detroit.

IVAN
That’s it. Alice Detroit. Cleveland sounds better if you ask me. So, has anyone seen her act? Is she any good?

DEBBIE
Didn’t you watch the movies they sent over?

IVAN
I was busy. I’m trying to write a play, remember?

SPIKE
And the Knicks went into overtime last night..

IVAN
I was working on my play, Mr. know-it-all who owes me five bucks because the Bulls couldn’t come from behind. Help me out here class, is she any good?

BONNIE
We watched some of them last night. She’s okay.

DEBBIE
She’s okay.

GERALDO
She takes her clothes off a lot.

SPIKE
(smiles)
Yeah...

IVAN
(To Igor)
You let them watch that stuff?

IGOR
Don’t look at me. I wanted to watch the Spice Channel.

IVAN
Okay, I gotta get to the theater, Iggy is in charge, I’ll be back by dinner.

BONNIE
What’s for dinner?

IVAN
I don’t know. Chinese.

BONNIE
I hate Chinese.

IVAN
Don’t be a bigot. Where’s my script? I left it in here last night...

DEBBIE
(hands him his script)
Here. I was reading it.

IVAN
And? What did you think?

DEBBIE
I don’t know. It wasn’t that funny.

IVAN
(to Igor)
You told her to say that didn’t you?

IGOR
Never!

Igor and Debbie exchange a smile. Ivan stuffs the script in his bag and heads for the front door. Igor follows.

IVAN
Okay, I’m out of here. Ig, no more Alice Detroit tapes for them, I don’t want Spike getting worked up.

IGOR
Gotcha.

IVAN
What are you doing?

IGOR
What? I’m not doing anything.

IVAN
I’m trying to leave, and you’re following me.

IGOR
I’ll walk out with you.

IVAN
I’m okay, Iggy. I’m perfectly capable of leaving my own house...

Ivan pats himself down, looking for his keys. Igor holds up the keys. Ivan snatches them away from his son and opens the door.

IVAN (CONT’D)
You’re too smart. You know that?

Ivan opens the door.

IGOR
Pop, wait.

CUT TO:
EXT. GREENWICH VILLAGE STREET, IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING - DAY 1

Ivan charges down the steps of the Brownstone, which is located in the heart of the East Village. He pretends not to notice the Black Town Car waiting for him in the street. He heads up the block to the subway station. Igor follows.

IVAN
Igor, I’m late. I gotta go.

IGOR
Aren’t you going to take the car? Kreplich sent you a car.

IVAN
Ignore the car. Listen, we’ve got a problem.

IGOR
Let me guess, Gloria’s not coming to spend the weekend.

IVAN
How did you guess?

IGOR
I overheard you and Gloria talking. Bonnie and Debbie were really looking forward to it.
They were supposed to go to Macy’s and get facials. Why don’t we do fun things like that? We could get manicures. I really could use one, just look at these hands...

IVAN
That woman is really something.

IGOR
What time are you going to be home?

IVAN
Six or seven. Maybe later. I can’t believe she’s doing this again. She’s a tough woman to deal with sonny boy. I know Father’s aren’t supposed to say things like this to their kids, but never get married Ig. You’ll thank me for it.

IGOR
Pop, promise me you’ll be home early tonight.

IVAN
Why, you got plans tonight?

IGOR
Kind of, yeah.

IVAN
What kind of plans? Got a hot date?

IGOR
As a matter of fact, I do.

Ivan stops in his tracks. He smiles at his son.

IVAN
I’m proud of you Iggy! Who is the lucky girl?

IGOR
She’s in my English class. I’m helping her study for a Lit test. It’s not even a date, really.

IVAN
People don’t study on Saturday night Ig, people go out on a Saturday night.

IGOR
This is the only way I could get her to go out with me. She needs help with her English.

IVAN
What, is she from another country?

IGOR
No, she’s not that smart. But, she thinks I’m smart, and kind of cute, so, when she passes, she’ll have no choice but to express her gratitude in other ways.

IVAN
Don’t remind me of those other ways, Ig. We don’t need any more kids in that house.

They continue walking up the street the Black Town Car starts following them.

IGOR
Don’t look now, but I think we’re being followed.

IVAN
They’ll never take us alive.
So, what’s the deal, she’s just using you to get good grades?

IGOR
I can so live with that, Pop.
IVAN
There’s a little thing called self respect Ig.

IGOR
Pop, she’s a gymnast!

IVAN
What time you meeting her?

IGOR
Seven.

IVAN
I’ll be here. Go back inside. Rest up for tonight.

Igor turns back to the house.

IGOR
Thanks, Pop. What about the car?

IVAN
If it’s still here at seven, take the not so smart gymnast for a spin.

IGOR
Really? I love you Daddy!

IVAN
Inside, please!

Ivan ducks into the subway station. Igor waves to the Town Car Driver, who finally gives up and drives off.

Any comments would be greatly appreciated.

Janice · 07-20-2005, 11:58 PM

Very good! Interesting, clever and humorous dialog. It was great because I could really visualize it, having seen the movie, Arthur, Arthur.

TJL · 07-21-2005, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janice

Very good! Interesting, clever and humorous dialog.

Thank you. Someday I hope to write another ten pages.

07-19-2005, 08:43 PM	#1
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	From The TJL Archives - An Unfinished Movie Spinoff Script Hey sports fans, TJL here. Years ago, before life chewed me up and spat me out leaving me the broken whimpering shell of a man I'm now, I had a dream, a dream of becoming a big time TV writer/producer with a TV Network under my thumb, a beautiful house in Malibu and a hot trophy wife who loves me for my money. A simple dream. In my pursuit of this dream, I have amassed a large collection of unfinished TV spec scripts and original scripts, and I thought I would share one with you. Here is a brief sample from the pilot episode of a spinoff series I wanted to do - "Author! Author!" based on the 1982 comedy starring Al Pacino. The show centers around playwright Ivan Travalian as he attempts to juggle his work on his plays with running a household full of stepkids from his former marriage. Please let me know what you think. COLD OPENING FADE IN: INT. IVAN’S BEDROOM - DAY 1 The alarm clock buzzes. Ivan Trevalian, a famous New York playwright slaps the snooze and rolls over. The sunlight from a beautiful autumn Saturday morning streams across the bed, and he hates it. Footsteps can be heard coming up the stairs. Ivan hears them too, and covers his face with a blanket. GERALDO (O.C.) Ivan! Get up! IVAN I am up Geraldo. Go away. SPIKE (O.C.) Ivan! It’s me, Spike. IVAN Hey Spike. You go away too. GERALDO (O.C.) It’s ten o’clock. You gotta go to the theater to meet that actor.. SPIKE (O.C.) Actress, idiot. GERALDO (O.C.) Whatever. Ivan? The door swings open. Geraldo and Spike, Ivan’s stepsons from his previous marriage peer into the room. They survey Ivan comatose on the bed. SPIKE Aw, he’s so cute when he sleeps. GERALDO Ivan? You want breakfast? I made eggs. SPIKE You always make eggs. GERALDO Look, you wanna do the cooking, go ahead! SPIKE All I’m saying is some pancakes would be nice once in a while... IVAN Guys, please, for the love of God, let me sleep. I was up very late writing last night. SPIKE Ivan, Mr. Kreplich has called here three times this morning. IVAN Producers always call three times. That’s why producers are the most hated people in show business. GERALDO Mr. Kreplich sent a car to pick you up. It’s waiting for you outside. IVAN You can have the car Geraldo. Drive safely. SPIKE Well, we tried. Let’s go have some pancakes. GERALDO In your dreams... Spike and Geraldo head downstairs. Ivan slaps the snooze button and rolls over. A beat later Bonnie and her fraternal twin sister Debbie, Ivan’s stepdaughters, also from his previous marriage are at the door. DEBBIE Ivan? IVAN Debbie... BONNIE Ivan. IVAN ...and Bonnie. DEBBIE Ivan, Mr. Kreplich called and he said.. IVAN I know sweetheart. Spike told me already. Why don’t you two have some breakfast? Geraldo made eggs. BONNIE Eggs again? I hate eggs! IVAN Yeah, me too. Don’t tell Geraldo, it’ll break his little heart... Bonnie and Debbie exit downstairs. A beat later Igor, Ivan’s son, the oldest of his brood enters the room. He silently observes his sleeping father, removes a whistle from his pocket and blows. Ivan shoots upright in the bed. IGOR Get up Fosse, it’s showtime! Off Ivan’s angry stare we: FADE OUT. ROLL OPENING CREDITS. FADE IN: INT. IVAN’S BEDROOM A FEW MINUTES LATER. IVAN, HIS HAIR STILL WET FROM THE SHOWER, FRANTICALLY THROWS ON SOME CLOTHES WITH A CORDLESS PHONE CRADLED ON HIS SHOULDER. HE IS IN ANOTHER HEATED “DISCUSSION” WITH HIS EX-WIFE GLORIA. IVAN I can’t hear you Gloria. It’s Ivan. Ivan! The playwright! The ex-husband! One of them, anyway. Where are you? Nova Scotia? Yeah, I’ve heard of it, I’m a big fan of salmon. Listen, I just called to remind you about this weekend. You’re not coming, what do you mean you’re not coming? I don’t mean to pick nits Gloria, but this is the third time in a row...yes, this is the third time. I remember our last conversation because after I got off the phone with you I said to myself, what a great way to start Arbor Day! Yes, Yes Gloria, I’m pretty sure it’s this weekend. You were supposed to come here this weekend, you know, to see the kids. Spike, Geraldo, Bonnie and....Debbie! That’s right, Debbie! It’s good that you still know their names. Gloria....they really want to see you. Fine. No, don’t worry, I’ll tell them. Yeah. Bye Gloria. He turns the phone off and tosses it on the bed. IVAN (CONT’D) Great, another Arbor day shot to Hell. CUT TO: INT. BROWNSTONE KITCHEN A FEW MINUES LATER - DAY 1 Ivan charges down the stairs, trying his best to put on his blazer. He stuffs some notes into his shoulder bag and heads towards the kitchen. Spike and the girls are at the table eating breakfast, Geraldo, perched on a stepstool in front of the stove, is whipping up a batch of eggs. Igor removes a Styrofoam cup from a cabinet, fills it with black coffee, and secures it with a plastic lid. IGOR (seeing Ivan) ‘Morning Pop. Ivan spots the whistle around his son’s neck. IVAN You’re not funny Igor. You were never funny. Igor hands his father the cup of coffee. Ivan eyes the large white Styrofoam cup. IVAN (CONT’D) What the Hell is this? Are we living in a deli? I’ll take a Daily News and a Pick Six... IGOR You never bring the mugs back. So it’s this, or you take the gravy boat with you. IVAN Geraldo, don’t stand so close to the stove. GERALDO My arms are short. What else should I do? IVAN Stop drop and roll, remember that, Geraldo. He sets his bag down on a kitchen chair and finishes putting on his coat. Igor helps him straighten out his collar. IVAN (CONT’D) Good morning all my children. SPIKE, BONNIE, DEBBIE Good morning Ivan. IVAN Thanks for trying to get me up, I appreciate your efforts. And the first one who gets the whistle away from Iggy will go to the Ivy League school of his or her choice. Listen, I hate to leave you alone on a Saturday, but I’ve got a big thing with Mr. Kreplich about the show, we’re meeting this hot new actress he wants for the lead. A woman named Alice, Uh, Something. It’s the name of a city. Cleveland? Alice Cleveland. That’s it. BONNIE I think you mean Alice Detroit. IVAN That’s it. Alice Detroit. Cleveland sounds better if you ask me. So, has anyone seen her act? Is she any good? DEBBIE Didn’t you watch the movies they sent over? IVAN I was busy. I’m trying to write a play, remember? SPIKE And the Knicks went into overtime last night.. IVAN I was working on my play, Mr. know-it-all who owes me five bucks because the Bulls couldn’t come from behind. Help me out here class, is she any good? BONNIE We watched some of them last night. She’s okay. DEBBIE She’s okay. GERALDO She takes her clothes off a lot. SPIKE (smiles) Yeah... IVAN (To Igor) You let them watch that stuff? IGOR Don’t look at me. I wanted to watch the Spice Channel. IVAN Okay, I gotta get to the theater, Iggy is in charge, I’ll be back by dinner. BONNIE What’s for dinner? IVAN I don’t know. Chinese. BONNIE I hate Chinese. IVAN Don’t be a bigot. Where’s my script? I left it in here last night... DEBBIE (hands him his script) Here. I was reading it. IVAN And? What did you think? DEBBIE I don’t know. It wasn’t that funny. IVAN (to Igor) You told her to say that didn’t you? IGOR Never! Igor and Debbie exchange a smile. Ivan stuffs the script in his bag and heads for the front door. Igor follows. IVAN Okay, I’m out of here. Ig, no more Alice Detroit tapes for them, I don’t want Spike getting worked up. IGOR Gotcha. IVAN What are you doing? IGOR What? I’m not doing anything. IVAN I’m trying to leave, and you’re following me. IGOR I’ll walk out with you. IVAN I’m okay, Iggy. I’m perfectly capable of leaving my own house... Ivan pats himself down, looking for his keys. Igor holds up the keys. Ivan snatches them away from his son and opens the door. IVAN (CONT’D) You’re too smart. You know that? Ivan opens the door. IGOR Pop, wait. CUT TO: EXT. GREENWICH VILLAGE STREET, IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING - DAY 1 Ivan charges down the steps of the Brownstone, which is located in the heart of the East Village. He pretends not to notice the Black Town Car waiting for him in the street. He heads up the block to the subway station. Igor follows. IVAN Igor, I’m late. I gotta go. IGOR Aren’t you going to take the car? Kreplich sent you a car. IVAN Ignore the car. Listen, we’ve got a problem. IGOR Let me guess, Gloria’s not coming to spend the weekend. IVAN How did you guess? IGOR I overheard you and Gloria talking. Bonnie and Debbie were really looking forward to it. They were supposed to go to Macy’s and get facials. Why don’t we do fun things like that? We could get manicures. I really could use one, just look at these hands... IVAN That woman is really something. IGOR What time are you going to be home? IVAN Six or seven. Maybe later. I can’t believe she’s doing this again. She’s a tough woman to deal with sonny boy. I know Father’s aren’t supposed to say things like this to their kids, but never get married Ig. You’ll thank me for it. IGOR Pop, promise me you’ll be home early tonight. IVAN Why, you got plans tonight? IGOR Kind of, yeah. IVAN What kind of plans? Got a hot date? IGOR As a matter of fact, I do. Ivan stops in his tracks. He smiles at his son. IVAN I’m proud of you Iggy! Who is the lucky girl? IGOR She’s in my English class. I’m helping her study for a Lit test. It’s not even a date, really. IVAN People don’t study on Saturday night Ig, people go out on a Saturday night. IGOR This is the only way I could get her to go out with me. She needs help with her English. IVAN What, is she from another country? IGOR No, she’s not that smart. But, she thinks I’m smart, and kind of cute, so, when she passes, she’ll have no choice but to express her gratitude in other ways. IVAN Don’t remind me of those other ways, Ig. We don’t need any more kids in that house. They continue walking up the street the Black Town Car starts following them. IGOR Don’t look now, but I think we’re being followed. IVAN They’ll never take us alive. So, what’s the deal, she’s just using you to get good grades? IGOR I can so live with that, Pop. IVAN There’s a little thing called self respect Ig. IGOR Pop, she’s a gymnast! IVAN What time you meeting her? IGOR Seven. IVAN I’ll be here. Go back inside. Rest up for tonight. Igor turns back to the house. IGOR Thanks, Pop. What about the car? IVAN If it’s still here at seven, take the not so smart gymnast for a spin. IGOR Really? I love you Daddy! IVAN Inside, please! Ivan ducks into the subway station. Igor waves to the Town Car Driver, who finally gives up and drives off. Any comments would be greatly appreciated.
	__________________ "I think I'll stroll up to the front to see how the shooting's going..." - Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Read my blogs! http://centralparkamisguide.com/ http://dvdcriticscorner.com Visit me on Facebook!http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641138880 Hey, I do the tweet thing too! http://twitter.com/TomLevier My shop of handmade items! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations

07-20-2005, 11:58 PM	#2
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	Very good! Interesting, clever and humorous dialog. It was great because I could really visualize it, having seen the movie, Arthur, Arthur.