Husbands and Wives

[Bobby F.]

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
>She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
>Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
>Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
>Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
>And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
>
>WOMEN'S REVENGE
>"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the
>woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet
>I noticed a remote control for a television set in her
>purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
>"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come
>shopping with me, and I figured this was the most
>evil thing I could do to him legally."
>
>UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
>I know I'm not going to understand women.
>I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax
>pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
>and still be afraid of a spider.
>
>MARRIAGE SEMINAR
>While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with
>communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the
>instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know
>the things that are important to each other."
>He addressed the man,
>"Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"
>Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and
>whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?
>The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.
>
>CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
>A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down
>the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can
>help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of
>tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct
>aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton
>balls and a ball of string on the counter.
>She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for
>some tampons for your wife? He answers, "You see, it's like this,
>yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes,
>and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling
>papers; cause its sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
>
>So, I figure if I have to roll my own........... so does she.
>
>(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)
>
>WIFE VS. HUSBAND
>A couple drove down a country road for several miles,
>not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an
>argument and neither of them wanted to concede their
>position As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,
>and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
>"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
>
>WORDS
>A husband read an article to his wife about how many
>words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
>The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we
>have to repeat everything to men...
>The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
>
>CREATION
>A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you
>can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
>"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made
>me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
>God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
>
>WHO DOES WHAT
>A man and his wife were having an argument about who
>should brew the coffee each morning.
>The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up
>first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our
>coffee."
>The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking
>around here and you should do it, because that is your
>job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
>Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it
>is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
>Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
>So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New
>Testament and showed him at the top of several pages,
>that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"
>

[MsOrange]

cute

i espeically like this one:

>UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
>I know I'm not going to understand women.
>I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax
>pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
>and still be afraid of a spider.

[Courtnee]

[Rhiannon]

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
>A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down
>the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can
>help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of
>tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct
>aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton
>balls and a ball of string on the counter.
>She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for
>some tampons for your wife? He answers, "You see, it's like this,
>yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes,
>and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling
>papers; cause its sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
>
>So, I figure if I have to roll my own........... so does she.