Kids! They're so great...... - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Warm & Fuzzy · 07-12-2005, 11:34 PM

....Aren't they?

============================================

HONESTY

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom
to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet.
So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage.
Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to
my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held
it
up and said with a charming little smile, "We better
throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the
toilet a few days ago.

BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was
fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell but of the Bible. He picked
up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old
leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found", the boy called out." What
have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the
young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"

NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm
summer evening when a Woman in the convertible ahead
of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I
was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old
shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't
wearing a seat belt!

OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his
teacher a Note from his mother. The note read, "The
opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily
those of his parents"

KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out
of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she
asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.
"It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her
mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone
to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in
the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room
burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and
running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement
and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever
seen a little boy before?"

ELDERLY

While working for an organisation that delivers
lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my
4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The
various appliances of old age, particularly the canes,
walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her.
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth
soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a
party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she
warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And
why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you
a headache the next morning."

SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of
school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her
mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't
let me talk!"

Mr. Television · 07-12-2005, 11:46 PM

Those were good.

Hollow · 07-13-2005, 07:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quencherita

OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his
teacher a Note from his mother. The note read, "The
opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily
those of his parents"

MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in
the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room
burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and
running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement
and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever
seen a little boy before?"

Kay Scarpetta · 07-13-2005, 07:52 AM

those are cute.

I work with kids in my job, 40 hours a week. Surprisingly, I love them.

Courtnee · 07-13-2005, 08:26 AM

lol awwwwww!

Warm & Fuzzy · 07-13-2005, 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kay Scarpetta

those are cute.

I work with kids in my job, 40 hours a week. Surprisingly, I love them.

I'm working with kids this summer, too, only it's not a paying job, but voluntary. Seeing those kids so happy is enough of a payment for me. I love each and everyone of them so much.

MsOrange · 07-13-2005, 06:34 PM

Quote:

While working for an organisation that delivers
lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my
4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The
various appliances of old age, particularly the canes,
walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her.
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth
soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

Quote:

A little girl had just finished her first week of
school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her
mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't
let me talk!"

Titania · 07-13-2005, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kay Scarpetta

those are cute.

I work with kids in my job, 40 hours a week. Surprisingly, I love them.

same. hoorah for summer camp.

i love my kids so much....i work with around 30 five through seven year olds- chaotic but never boring.

JDS84 · 07-13-2005, 07:02 PM

I think kids are great. I can't wait until I become a Mother.

EmoJoe · 07-13-2005, 07:09 PM

Aww

Cactus Jack · 07-13-2005, 07:13 PM

swedeace · 07-13-2005, 08:12 PM

Very cute! I think I'll share this with my co-workers via email.

Rhiannon · 07-13-2005, 08:15 PM

TheGreatPretender · 07-13-2005, 08:34 PM

I love the Ketchup bottle one.

Ohio8 · 07-14-2005, 01:54 PM

Thanks for the laughs!! I needed them today.

07-12-2005, 11:34 PM	#1
Warm & Fuzzy Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 02, 2001 Posts: 10,254	Kids! They're so great...... ....Aren't they? ============================================ HONESTY My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago. BIBLE A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell but of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!" NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt! OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents" KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle." MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?" ELDERLY While working for an organisation that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!" DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning." SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"
	__________________ "To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world." ~Unknown

07-12-2005, 11:46 PM	#2
Mr. Television 23 Years at Sitcoms Online Forum Icon Join Date: Jun 06, 2003 Location: Somewhere you're Not Posts: 62,132	Those were good.
	__________________ Sonny

07-13-2005, 07:52 AM	#4
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	those are cute. I work with kids in my job, 40 hours a week. Surprisingly, I love them.
	__________________ The people who think they know everything about Broadway make me laugh. They've never seen a Broadway play in their life. "oh mi godddd RENT's a mooovie! lyke 525600 minuuuuuuutes!" No. To be a Broadway Freak, you must live, eat, sleep, study, devout, think, obsess, dream, believe Broadway. You must know original & revival casts, soundtracks, performance runs, dates, theatres, numbers, how many Tony Awards A Chorus Line won. You must be Broadway. That's right bitches. I AM Broadway.

07-13-2005, 08:26 AM	#5
Courtnee MAN VS SAMMICH. Forum Star Join Date: Mar 23, 2005 Location: Louisiana Posts: 16,413	lol awwwwww!
	__________________ Whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection A freckle on the nose of life's complexion The Cinderella or the shine apple of its eye I gotta fly once, I gotta try once, Only can die once, right, sir? Ooh, life is juicy, juicy and you see, I gotta have my bite, sir. Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer" I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer Don't bring around the cloud to rain on my parade

07-13-2005, 07:02 PM	#9
JDS84 Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 11, 2001 Location: My Old Kentucky Home Posts: 3,377	I think kids are great. I can't wait until I become a Mother.
	__________________ Jessica

07-13-2005, 07:09 PM	#10
EmoJoe Cool cool cool Forum Addict Join Date: Apr 23, 2004 Location: New Jersey Posts: 71,478	Aww
	__________________ "I know the difference between TV and reality, Jeff. TV has structure, it makes sense, there are likable leading men. In real life, we have this. We have you." - Abed Nadir, Community www.sitcomsarestupid.blogspot.com

07-13-2005, 07:13 PM	#11
Cactus Jack RonFingSwanson Forum Idol Join Date: Dec 09, 2001 Location: Santa Rosa Beach,FL Posts: 103,099
	__________________ Id Love to help you Tracy, but I cant have sex with a black guy, Id lose my endorsement deal with NASCAR-Jenna Maroney,30 Rock April 17,2009 9:02 PM : 100,000th post!

07-13-2005, 08:12 PM	#12
swedeace Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 22, 2003 Posts: 9,009	Very cute! I think I'll share this with my co-workers via email.

07-13-2005, 08:15 PM	#13
Rhiannon oh, snap! Forum Fanatic Join Date: Jul 19, 2002 Location: middle of nowhere Posts: 11,097
	__________________ Nothing better the feeling is so fine Simply put I saw your love stream flow

07-13-2005, 08:34 PM	#14
TheGreatPretender just because Forum Veteran Join Date: May 22, 2004 Location: Trying to think of a creative, witty location. Posts: 7,628	I love the Ketchup bottle one.

07-14-2005, 01:54 PM	#15
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,966	Thanks for the laughs!! I needed them today.