When Will I Be Loved?

[Bella_KitKat]

hey y'all! This started as a roleplay, but I took my parts and evolved it into a full fledged Carrie/Constantine story. It's currently posted on www.idolfiction.com (my name there is InsideYourHeaven), but I thought I'd give you guys a chance to see what I'm doing with it. If you want me to post the updates here as well, just let me know. I sincerely hope you like it....


Lugging two extremely large - and, she thought, ridiculously overpacked - suitcases, the young blonde checked the piece of paper one more time. After all, she had never been to Hollywood (or anywhere, for that matter) and it would be soo embarrasing to get lost and have to ask for directions. She came out here to be a star, and finding the first building shouldn't be that much of a challenge. Right? Or maybe not. Just as she was about to rummage in her purse for her cell phone, she took sight of the most handsome man she had ever seen. And he was coming in her direction! "Hey, little lady, you here for the cattle call?"

The woman in question turned to face him, amusement mixed with anger in her delicate eyes. "One, I don't appreciate being called 'little lady.' Don't do it again. And yes, I'm here for the American Idol auditions, though I'm not quite sure if I should be."

"Sing something."

Normally, she would have laughed off the request, but there was something about the way he looked at her that made her shiver. Maybe I should be here after all...

His mouth dropped slightly as he listened to the woman in front of him softly sing a few bars of the classic Bonnie Raitt hit 'I Can't Make You Love Me.' "You're kidding right? Of course you should be here. Mark my words, woman, you're going to be famous. And I expect generous discounts for saying that I knew you back when."

She laughed genuienly, and the nervousness she'd been feeling ever since she left Checotah seemed to fade away. Sticking out her hand by way of introduction, she flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Carrie Underwood."

"Constantine Maroulis."

**********************************************************

Within the week, Carrie was making fast friends. Her roomate Mikalah was annoying, but could be really great other times, and she liked her a lot. Lindsey was rooming down the hall with Jessica, but they saw a lot of each other throughout the day. The four were becoming friends, but Carrie had to admit she didn't too much care for Jessica. The way the Florida native looked at Constantine...it was too much.

"You guys!" Bo cried, sticking his head in the general area of the girls rooms. "Food's here! You best get it before Scott does."

Mikalah giggled, and even Carrie couldn't help but to smile. Out of the guys, Bo was definently her favorite. He never failed to make her laugh and make her smile...he was like the big brother she never had and always wanted. "You're awful, Bogart."

Bo grimaced at the proper use of his nickname. "I know, but you all love me anyway."

Carrie made a face at him, then plopped down onto the couch, squeezing herself between her two friends. Three pizza boxes sat on the middle ottoman, and soon they began to dig in. "If you catch me reaching for a fourth slice, don't. Take it away," she cautioned Mikalah. "I can't pig out when I'm on TV now."

"So does that mean you pig out when you're not on TV?" came a voice from the doorway. Carrie grinned and Constantine came around and sat right in front of her, so that she could feel his breath in her ear. True, Bo was her favorite guy, but Constantine was different. No one could have expected that they would like each other, much less be great friends. Small town girls and big city boys didn't mix.

**********************************************************

The day of the first of many Hollywood rounds, Carrie was extremely nervous. Luckily, she was on the same schedule as Bo, Mikalah, and Constantine; it helped to see familar faces. Lindsey, Jessica, Anwar, and Scott, along with many others, were touring the town today; they would sing tomorrow. Ecen with her three friends around her, Carrie was a walking disaster. "Why couldn't I have picked a small number?" she wailed. "Now I have to wait here and be nervous all day!"

"You'll be great, Care," Constantine said softly, putting his hand on her shoulder. "The judges love you. Everybody believes in you. Believe in yourself, okay?"

"You get that from a fortune cookie?" Mikalah asked.

"Yep."

Carrie managed a tiny laugh, then became serious again. "Easy for you to say. You all already know you're coming back to sing again."

"Underwood! On in five!" yelled a stage hand.

"Knock 'em dead," Bo whispered as the Oklahoma girl took the stage.

Taking a deep breath, Carrie opened her mouth and gave it her all.

What's the sense in sharing, this one and only life
Ending up just another lost and lonely wife
You count up the years and they will be filled with tears
Love only breaks up, to start over again
You'll get the babies, but you won't have your man
While he is busy loving every woman that he can....

When she was done, she looked expectantly at the judges, who told her that she would be coming back to sing again. Carrie thanked them profously, giving a small squeal as she ran off the stage. Her three friends came toward her, and Constantine picked her up and swung her around playfully. "Awesome action, girl!"

Carrie was a LOT more relaxed the next day, because she knew her dreams were safe - at least for another few days. She, Constantine, Bo, and Mikalah were touring Hollywood. She'd never been there before, and she wanted to see everything. Luckily, she had three very eager tour guides. Especially Mikalah. "Mika..." the guys whined as she ran toward Victoria's Secret. "We've been good sports all day, don't you think?"

"Don't make us go in there," Bo added.

"You can just wait outside. Carrie and I need to get some stuff." Before she had a chance to respond, Mikalah practically dragged her into the store. They emerged ten minutes later, Carrie with three bags in her grasp.

"See, now that wasn't so bad!"

"Not really...Hey!" Carrie cried, giggling as Constantine tried to peek in her bag. "No free show."

"You're no fun," he muttered.

"Hey!" Yelping as he poked her in the ribs, she twisted in his grasp, trying to escape his tickling. Bo and Mikalah groaned, rolling their eyes in annoyance. The sexual, physical, and emotional attraction between their two friends was the most obvious thing in the world. How could they not notice, when everyobody else did?

"Gosh!" Carrie said, continuously rubbing her eyes. High tide winds were building, and tiny salt particles flew up into her eyes. "Is it all gone?" Blinking a few times, the intense watery pain seemed to be gone. She wouldn't have cared if it was still there, though, for Constantine's soft touch to her skin caused butterflies to flutter in her stomach.

"Good as new," he proclaimed after a few seconds, letting his hand carres her cheek.

"All better," she whispered softly. Carrie suddenly became cold, and it had nothing to do with the whipping winds. The way Constantine was looking at her, and the gentle way he had touched her skin and made everythng okay, sent shivers down her spine.

"Cold?" he asked gently, draping his trademark leather jacket around her shoulders. "Wouldn't want Simon's pet to get sick now, would we?"

Carrie glared at him, but she knew he was teasing. "Would you kindly knock it off? I'm not his pet."

"Please...he loves you. He practically gave you the competition on a silver platter."

"At least he thinks I'm good."

Constantine sighed. "Carrie Underwood, you've got to quit that. You are an amazing woman, all right? You're talented, smart, funny, sweet, and an incredible singer. Not to mention amazingly beautiful."

Her heart seemed to skip a beat. Beautiful was not a word often used in connection to herself. "You - did you call me beautiful?"

"You are, Carrie. You're beautiful...so beautiful."

[Bella_KitKat]

"Con...." she mumbled, his mouth meeting hers. His arms wrapped around her waist as he pulled her close to him. The kiss deepened slightly, and she ran her fingers through his hair. Carrie moaned softly, Constantine raining kisses down her neck. Pushing him away, she hurriedly picked up her shoes and ran across the sand.

When Constantine caught up with her and made her face him, soft tears were streaming down her cheeks. "Did I scare you, honey?"

"I - we can't do this."

"Why not? Make me understand why." His voice was gentle, but she could tell he was understandibly pissed.

"Because we're both on TV now."

"So? What the hell difference does that make?"

"Connie, please listen. You're...you're an amazing guy. And you're a great friend to me; I really like being with you. But you're also - I can't deny that I'm incredibly attracted to you. That kiss just proved my point, and more. And I know that if I spend more time with you...I really could fall in love."

"Carrie...this scares me too. I've never felt this for anyone, least of all - "

"A small town country gal from Oklahoma?" she grinned.

**********************************************************

After avoiding each other for a few days - to be perfectly honest, the avoiding was mostly on her part - everything was back to normal for Carrie and Constantine. They slowly started to repair their broken friendship, and hung out together even more. It was the second round of Hollywood auditions, and Carrie decided to go back to an old favorite. She had performed Martina ever since she was a little girl, and it never failed her. She just hoped it wouldn't fail her now.

Well, she seemed alright by dawn's early light
Though she looked a little worried and weak
She tried to pretend he wasn't drinkin' again
But Daddy left the proof on her cheek
I was only eight years old that summer
And I always seemed to be in the way
So I took myself down to the fair in town
On Independence Day....

Before anyone knew what hit them, it was time for more cuts to be made. It was the day that the top 44 would be announced. Pacing the length of the room nervously, Carrie's voice was high and frenzied. "Four rooms, Connie. Four rooms. Only three can stay. One leaves. About twenty of us are going home today. God, I can't stand this."

"Carrie, sweetie, we'll be fine. Mario and Anwar are here, you know? And so's Nikko and Vonzell. The judges really like them...and they really like you and me. We're good as gold."

"I wish I could be as confident as you."

Time flew by, and the contestants were hurriedly perfecting their semi-final songs, anxious to receive one of the precious 12 spots. The night the boys sang, Anthony sang the hit "I Wanna Know What Love Is," and Mikalah could feel Constantine's unflinching gaze on Carrie throughout the song. After the song was done, the teenager grabbed her friend's arm. Carrie laughed as Mikalah dragged her off of the Idol stage. The familiar commercial music began to play, and the two girls ran off to a secluded corner. "What's gotten into you?"

"Girl, don't even tell me you didn't notice that. That song...the guy couldn't take his eyes off you. Especially the chorus. You know; I want to know what love is / I want you to show me / I want to feel what love is / I know you can show me. Constantine Maroulis was totally checking you out."

Try as she might, Carrie couldn't escape the blush from coming to her cheeks. "Why would he be checking me out?"

"Please...he always does. You just don't notice. That's what I'm for."

"What makes you think I'd even want him to be checking me out?"

Mikalah shook her head. "You're a horrible liar, you know. This clueless little crush was fun the first five minutes, but now it's just annoying."

"Mika!"

"Hey! I'm being helpful here! If you two think you can dance around this forever, you're wrong. Carrie, America's unpredictable. Everybody and their mother knows you can sing, but you might not be here next week. Or you'll be here, but Constantine won't. Then you'll never really see each other again. And wouldn't you have wished you had done something? Constantine could be the one great love of your life, girl! And you're just going to let him pass on by."

**********************************************************

"Mikalah Gordon, it's you....in the top 12!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Carrie squealed, pumping her fist in the air. "Yes! Yes!" Catching Constantine's look that said he was trying not to laugh, she blushed. "I'm happy for her. So sue me."

"I know. You're fiercely loyal to the people you care about. That's one of the things I love about you."

After initial akwardness after their beach kiss and then Mikalah's revelation that the New Yorker was 'checking her out', Carrie never quite saw him the same way. Little stolen looks and soft touches that meant nothing before now sent shivers down her spine. It's true she was quite innocent and slightly naive when it came to men, but she knew he liked her too...at least a little. They were both teteering on the edge of romance, reluctant to go back but terrified to go ahead. Nevertheless, when Constantine asked her if she wanted to celebrate their accomplishments and go out to dinner, she jumped at the chance.

*********************************************************

"It's not a date. It's not a date." The words she had told herslf all evening were now the furthest thing from her mind. Hours later, the two were standing at the door of his hotel apartment.

"Come on in...we can watch a movie or TV or something."

She smiled, even more so when he opened the door for her. "Sure. Just let me change real quick." Within five minutes, she had reappeared at his door, clad in blue and white striped drawstring pajama pants and a light gray tank top.

"Looking good, Miss Underwood."

She blushed. "Shut up."

Time seemed to pass quickly. Somehow, the two had ended up cuddled together on his bed, watching the late late show. Seeing Carrie yawn for the millionth time, Constantine reached over and pulled a blanket over her body. "Want me to take you back?"

Carrie shook her head. "Our room isn't near as comfortable as this."

He laughed. "You live with Mikalah, hon."

She made a face. "Hey, she can be cool when she's not annoying. But seriously, you mind if I just stay awhile?"

The next time she opened her eyes, however, she was shocked at what the number said. "Constantine! It's 7:00! ****! I fell asleep in here!"

[Bella_KitKat]

Constantine just groaned, and it was then that Carrie realized not only had she fallen asleep in his room, but that she had spent the whole time in his bed, in his arms. Involuntarily, his arms tightened around her waist. She couldn't deny that she liked the feeling, though. Being in Constantine's arms made her feel...special. Safe and strong and loved. Sighing, she gently entangled herslf from his grasp. Knowing that it was the only way to wake him up - he was by no means a morning person - Carrie lightly let her mouth brush against his. "We fell asleep."

That woke him up. "Crap," he mumbled. "****ing crap."

Carrie laughed. "You're so charming."

He made a face, whacking her lightly with the nearest pillow. "I don't really think we're in a position to be harping on me about lack of manners."

She conceded that point. "Oh, God Connie, people are gonna think we had sex."

"They are not."

"Um...yeah they are. A guy and a girl wake up together in the same bed...what would you think?"

"That they got drunk and screwed up majorly."

Carrie screamed, jumping off the bed. Tears trickled down her cheeks. "I'm screwed. We're both screwed. They're gonna kick us off now, and I'm gonna have to go back and Daddy'll ask why, and I'll have to tell him I fell asleep in the room of a guy I barely know. I'll have to tell him everyone thinks I'm a slut. I'll have to - "

She was abruptly cut off by Constantine's lips on hers. "Hey, hey, hey. Let's try and take it down do a dull roar, huh?" He smiled, gently wiping away her tears. "Sweetheart, no one's giong to say that. No one's going to even think it, 'cause if they do, the guys and I will kick his ass to kingdom come."

Carrie had to smile at that. "And you would, too. I know you."

"I would. I care about you, honey. I'd do anything to protect you."

She smiled, new tears falling. "I care about you, too." So badly, she wanted to say how she truly felt about him. How he made her feel happy and alive and special, and how one smile could last her for hours. But she didn't. The words wouldn't come; they seemed too big, too far away for this morning, especially in light of what had just occured. "Let's go. We've got to face this sometime, right?"

********************************************************************

All eyes turned on Carrie. Blushing, the Oklahoma native wanted to die right then and there. Even Bo had stopped singing and was looking at Carrie expectantly.

"Start talking, girl." That was Mikalah, obviously. Nothing could keep her quiet. Months of living with her had taught Carrie that simple fact. The world could have just imploded and Mikalah would soon be right in the middle of it, chattering away.

"Would everyone quit looking at me?" the blonde mumbled. "This is so embarrasing."

Ryan appeared to be over the shock, taking the microphone to his mouth. "So...would this be a recent scandal or something that just happened?"

Constantine grabbed the nearest microphone. By just looking in his friend's direction, he knew that she was about to lose it completely. "It's not a scandal, because nothing happened. Carrie knows that, and I know that. We were on a date. We were watching a movie, and she was tired, and fell asleep. I didn't want to wake her up, so I let her stay with me. You know those hotel rooms have two beds; I slept in the other one. Carrie Underwood is a great girl, and I'm very much attracted to her, but I also respect her too much to ever do anything like that when neither of us would be ready for it."

[Bella_KitKat]

Throughout the next few weeks, Constantine and Carrie barely saw each other. If they thought it was awkward after their kiss, it was nothing compared to when she woke to find herself in his bed. They avoided each other like the plaque, although living with Mikalah kept Carrie quite busy, and she didn't have any time to breathe, much less think about him. To think about how mixed up she was inside, and about how he made her feel. About how much she looked forward to seeing him and being in his company every single day.

"You're falling hard, girl, " Mikalah noticed one day, and Carrie couldn't argue against it.

"It doesn't matter anyway."

"Why in hell not?"

"He'd - he'd never want me."

"Of course not. You're only beautiful, smart, talented, sexy. What would he ever want with someone like you?"

"If only it were that simple, Meek," Carrie sighed wistfully, stepping around the teenager to randomly pick up laundry and put it in the basket. "I wish it was, but it's not."

"You like him. He likes you. Sounds simple to me."

"Trust me, hon, if I knew he liked me, I'd be in his arms in a heartbeat. But I need to be sure."

"I've got a plan."

Carrie stared dubiously at her friend. "Kaya, I love you to death, but last time you had a plan, it started a all out water ballon fight all afternoon."

"And we had fun! Carrie Underwood, it's about time you branched out. Stop sitting in the sidelines and take life by the reins."

"It's horns, Kay. At least get your metaphors straight."

"The reigns was for you. I figured it'd make more sense to you, what with you living on a farm and riding horses and all."

The blonde giggled. "All right. Tell me what we're doing."

**********************************************************

"Next up is Carrie Underwood!" Ryan couldn't help but talk to her for a moment, seeing as how she looked ready to pass out at any given moment. "Nervous, Care?"

"Scared to death."

"You're great."

"Oh, she's not scared about the singing. She's scread of the reaction of who she's singing to." Mikalah's voice carried from the position on the couch.

"You're singing to someone?" After Carrie nodded, Ryan checked the facts card. "And you're singing Jessica Simpson, aren't you?"

"Carrie's got a crush! Carrie's got a cru-ush!" Mikalah teased, easily dodging her friend's pretend blows. "Hey! You do!"

Carrie sighed. "Can I just go?" The cue music played softly, and Carrie shakily brought the microphone to her lips. "I've - I've never done this, and if it wasn't for Mikalah, I probably wouldn't have. Not that I didn't want to - I was just scared. But she convinced me to be in control of my life, and I really want to do that. Recently...recently I met a guy...an amzing man that's so special...so special and so great to me. He - he makes me feel so strong and so safe and so loved, and I've just realized how much he means to me, and how much I need him in my life. And I'm - I'm just hoping and praying that this works, and that maybe he likes me too." With that, she began to sing like she never had before.

"Take My Breath Away"

Watching every motion
In my foolish lover's game
On this endless ocean
Finally lovers know no shame
Turning and returning
To some secret place inside
Watching in slow motion
As you turn around and say
My love

Take my breath away
Take my breath away

Watching I keep waiting
Still anticipating love
Never hesitating
To become the fated ones
Turning and returning
To some secret place inside
Watching in slow motion
As you turn around and say
My love

Take my breath away
Take my breath away

Through the hourglass I saw you
In time you slipped away
When the mirror crashed I called you
And turned to hear you say
If only for today
I am unafraid

Take my breath away
Take my breath away

Watching every motion
In this foolish lovers game
Haunted by the notion
Somewhere there's a love in flames
Turning and returning
To some secret place inside
Watching in slow motion
As you turn around and say
My love

With all the courage she could muster, she slowly walked up in front of Constantine. Taking his hand in hers and smiling shyly, she let the last notes of the song fly out of her mouth. "I love you," she whispered softly, so that it was barely audible and no one would have heard had the mike not picked up the sound.

Take my breath away
Take my breath away



Song Credit = Take My Breath Away by Jessica Simpson

[Bella_KitKat]

Carrie must have breathed during the last twenty seconds, but she couldn't swear to it. The shocked looks on her friends faces, Mikalah's proud smile, Constatine in front of her....every image was permenantly implanted in her brain. Gasps could be heard throughout the audience; they rippled like waves and crashed upon the two of them. "You never mentioned love!" Mikalah's accusing tone rang out above the crowd, but she was quickly shushed by Bo's elbow in her side. "Sorry," she mumbled.

Even the judges were silent. Paula had a shocked and smypathetic look in her eyes; she knew what it was like to put herslf on the line in front of millions, and she only hoped it worked out better for Carrie. For once, Randy wasn't saying 'dawg,' and even the usually acid-tongued Simon was at a loss. Love declarations just didn't happen on a hit show, and if they did, they certainly didn't take place on the air. But it had, and it seemed the whole world was waiting on baited breath to how Constantine would respond. The poor man looked terrified, utterly surprised.

"This would be the time to say something," Carrie said softly, handing the micrphone off to the nearest person and squuezing his hand between both of hers. "Anything. Look, I'm sorry I did it like this, but isn't it better then not ever telling you at all?"

"Care..." he whispered softly, pulling her into his arms. Knowing she was on the verge of a major cry, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her softly, a kiss so long and so sweet and so passionate that she was forced to cling tightly to his shirt. If his arms hadn't been around her, she was sure she would have fallen. He pulled away gently, only to kiss her lips again. "This is better."

"Wow," she mumbled, not exactly knowing what else to say. She couldn't, because, as he took her hand and placed a tiny kiss in her palm, she was sure all function in her brain came to a screeching halt.

Constantine laughed gently and took her hand again, rubbing idle circles in her palm reassuringly. "I love you, too. I don't - Carrie, I don't know what this is, but I can't stop thinking about you."

Happy tears pooled her eyes, and she couldn't stop a few from trickling down her cheeks. "Mikalah was right."

"Yeah...looks like we owe her something now."

Mikalah pumped her fist in the air. "You know it! Just so you know, I like Chinese food."

Carrie giggled, and even Constantine had to laugh at that. "We'll figure something out." He turned toward Carrie again, not even caring anymore that he was on national television. He knew his Betty buddies would get a good laugh out of the tough guy turning into a sap, but it didn't matter. If she could take a risk and let her feelings out, then so could he. "Carrie, I - you deserve to know everything, so I'm going to tell you. I don't have the best track record with girls. Look at me. I'm 29 years old and I've never been in a serious relationship. The best I've had in in the backseat of my car, making out with some very nice girl who really doesn't care if I'm dead or alive. But you...you make me want to be a stand up guy. You make me want to be better. I'm never going to be perfect, sweetheart, but I promise that as long as you'll have me, I'll try."

She shook her head, no longer caring or even noticing the crowd. "I don't want perfect. I don't need perfect. I just need you."

[Bella_KitKat]

Carrie sighed happily, lifting her face to Constantine's for a soft and sweet kiss. She never knew - she'd never even dreamed - that love could be this way. She could never have guessed in a million years than one man could make her feel so incredible, like she could do anything. The two had been inseperable for the last week, and Carrie felt herself falling deeper every day, falling more and more in love every time she looked into his eyes. Every moment they weren't filming coomercials or rehearsing or doing something show related, they spent together, simply hanging out in his room and being together.

*Flashback*

It was the night after the first results show, and Carrie and Mikalah had just finished helping Lindsey pack her belongings. Saying she needed time to herself, Carrie had left the girls and found herself at Constantine's door. He opened the door after one knock, and just seeing him in front of her caused her to burst into tears. "She was my roomate," she whimpered as he took her in his arms.

He sighed, idly stroking her hair and rubbing her back. "I know, honey. I know. It sucks when people leave. Especially when they get to be our friends. I know how much fun the three of you had. Hey..." he whispered softly. ""You're still friends with her, right? It's not like you had a big fight. You'll still keep in touch."

“I know...I'm being stupid. I just - I just want her here."

"That's not stupid, sweetheart." Carrie looked up at him then, her face streaked with tears, and Constantine felt his heart break into a million pieces. She looked fragile enough to blow away, so wounded and so sad. So he kissed her. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and her hands entwined in his hair. "Carrie.." he murmured softly as he pulled away for a moment. "I love you so much sweetheart."

"Ditto," she mumbled bewtween kisses. As Constantine rained kisses down her neck, he picked her up in his arms and gently laid her on the bed. "Mmmm, honey," she moaned, his kisses becoming more intense. It was very fast, sure, but she knew then that it was okay. She wasn't going to stop him. She loved him and trusted him implicitly. They'd be okay.

*End flashback*

It was a week later, and Mikalah was set to go home in a couple of hours. The two girls were doing some last minute packing. Suddenly, though, the teen abruptly stopped and looked over at her friend. "Something's wrong. I know I may be goofy sometimes, but you're my friend, Carrie, and I care about you. You can talk to me."

Sighing, the blonde ceased the packing and looked at Mikalah as if weighing her options. "I can't say," she finally replied.

"Hey, I won't tell." At the dubious look, Mikalah giggled. "I mean it, girl. I can tell you're serious, and whatever it is, I won't tell anyone unless you want me to. I'll take it to the grave, all right?"

"It's really serious - at least it could be if it's true."

"It could be?"

Carrie looked up at Mikalah, a sad smile on her pretty face. "Constantine and I...we made love a week ago. And...now I'm...I'm late."

For the first time since she'd known her, Mikalah Gordon was quiet. "Ohh..hey, I have a test that I was saving for one of my friends back home...go ahead." She gently pushed the blonde into the bathroom. "Go ahead."

Emerging from the tiny room a full ten minutes later, all color had drained from her face. Mikalah didn't need to hear a word; she simply walked the length of the room and hugged her friend tightly. "Oh, Carrie....shh, sweetie, everything will be all right?"

She wiped her eyes, which were now puffy and slightly swollen from crying. "How in God's name am I supposed to tell Constantine that I'm pregnant?"

[Bella_KitKat]

It had been a full two weeks since that night, and Carrie had succesfully all but avoided being alone with Constantine since then. Constatine was intuative, though; he wasn't a complete nitwit. He knew something was wrong. He knew she was avoiding him, and he wanted to know why. He sincerely hoped she'd feel comfortable enough to eventually talk to him; they could handle anything. Right?

The door jiggled open, and roomate Bo came into view. "My man, why the long face?"

"Something's wrong with Carrie."

"What? She sick or something?"

"I wouldn't know. But someting upset her, and she's not talking to me, so how am I supposed to fix it?"

“Maybe she’s just stressed out. You know what Simon said to her last week, about her winning and selling more than everybody else combined. That's an awful big expectation to live up to, and you know what a perfectionist she is. She may just think she has to be great every single night fron now on.”

Constantine sighed. He wanted so badly to believe his friend, but instinct told him that it was something bigger. "Bo?"

“Yeah?"

"If I tell you something, will you absolutely swear not to tell anyone?"

He nodded. "Cross my heart."

Constantine sighed. “That night that Lindsey got voted off and went home...Carrie was really upset and she came over here. We started kissing - ”

"Oh, man....you guys had sex?"

"Yeah. And now I'm freaking out that she thinks we did the wrong thing or went too fast or something, and she won't talk to me because she thinks I don't want to hear it."

"Um, it's realy none of my business...but did you guys use anything?"

"Condoms?" He shook his head, then realization dawned on him. "Oh, ****."

Bo nodded. "There's a good possibility that going too fast is the least of your problems right now."

"I'll go talk to her." Leaving his room, he quickly jogged down the flight of stairs - he was too nervous to wait for the rickety and unreliable elevator - and arrived at his girlfriend's door. "Carrie! Open up, hon!"

Carrie opened the door, and upon seeing him, burst into a new flood of tears.

“Honey...” He pulled her to him and she clung to him tightly, unwilling to let go. It seemed like forever that they stood in the embrace, and she continued to cry. "We'll be okay, my love. We'll be okay," he whispered fiercely into her ear. "I love you, Carrie Underwood, and that'll never change."

Purposefully avoiding looking into his eyes, she pulled out of his grasp. "It might. I’m pregnant.”

[Heart Shaped Box]

Whoa..I never thought that would happen. Keep it up though, I love it!

[David]

"Um, it's realy none of my business...but did you guys use anything?"

"Condoms?" He shook his head, then realization dawned on him. "Oh, ****."

Purposefully avoiding looking into his eyes, she pulled out of his grasp. "It might. I’m pregnant.”

Wow, I can't picture that. At all But haha, great job

[Karen*]

Sorry girl, I'm a bigger fan of Canthony (the Anthony/Carrie relationship)!

But awesome story! Write more!

[Bella_KitKat]

"What?" After a full two minutes, Constantine spoke up in wonderment, on the off chance that perhaps he heard her wrong. It was so chancy - very few people got pregnant their first time, and he knew it was Carrie's first time. But by the look on Carrie's face, he knew he had heard her right. She was pregnant. With his baby.

"Pregnant," she said, her voice barely abover a whisper. "I'm pregnant, Constantine. I'm sorry."

Constantine immediately came to her, spinning her around gently so she was forced to face him and look him in the eyes. Lifting her tear-streaked face to meet his, his voice was firm yet caring. "First of all, sweetheart, the words 'I'm sorry' do not and never will enter this equation. Okay? It takes two people to make a baby - I'm just as invovled as you are. I'm always going to be here for you, I promise. No matter what."

She sniffled slighly, snuggling into his arms. "My parents are going to kill me." She manged a small, strangled laugh. "And Daddy's going to absolutely murder you. He'll chop you up into little pieces and feed you to the cows."

"I bet he's a charming man."

She smiled....a first since about a week ago. "No, Connie, they really will hate me. They're all 'Save yourself for marriage, Carrie.' They wouldn't understand this in a million years. And, oh, the night before I left for LA, my dad had a long long talk with me about not being caught up in that horrid lifestyle and making us proud and representing Oklahoma and being a good girl."

"Carrie.."

"Oh, God, everyone else. Con...the camera adds ten pounds. I can't afford that now! I'll be fat enough as it is! Everyone will absolutely freak! The producers...they'll kick me off. They don't want a pregnant Idol. And Simon's already invested time into me...God, I hate to let him and them all down. And Mikalah, and Lindsey, and Bo, and Mario - all of them are going to think I'm an absolute tramp!""

"Hey! Nobody is EVER going to think you're a tramp, Carrie Underwood. Ever. I'll take care of it if they do."

She struggled to keep the tears at bay, yet a few tricked down her cheeks. "You working for the mob and not telling me?"

He smiled, tenderly wiping away her tears. "Carrie, everything will work out. You'll see. It'll be fine. I love you so much."

"I love you, too."

His mouth met hers in a gentle kiss, and after a few seconds he pulled away and took her hand. "Let's go tell everyone."

"You said Mikalah knows...everyone else probably knows by now, knowing her mouth."

"She saw how scared I was, Con. I honnestly don't think she told."

Within minutes, Carrie and Constantine had managed to gather everyone into the communal living room. Before the two entered the room - everyone else was waiting inside - Mikalah ran by and skidded to a stop when she saw her friend. "Everything okay?" she asked cautiously.

Carrie nodded slighly. "Good enough. Just go sit down, okay?"

For once, Mikalah wasn't whining at being told what to do. She immdeiately went and made herself comfortable on the couch.

A few minutes later, Carrie and Constantine entered the room. One look at all of her concered friends, and Carrie gripped Constantine's hand tightly. "How am I supposed to do this?" she hissed.

Constantine sighed. "Want me to?"

"Please."

"You guys...Carrie's pregnant."

[Bella_KitKat]

About three weeks had passed since Carrie found out she was pregnant. She was now almost a full month along, and she knew that the stress of the show wasn't doing her or her baby any good. Maybe we should rethink that desicion not to tell the producers... Of course, Constantine had been against it the entire time. Ever sinse he found out she was carrying his child, he had been extremely - almost to the point of annoyingly - protective. Nevertheless, he agreed for the time being. "Anything to make you happy, sweetheart. If that's what you want, thats what we'll do,' he had said. In her warped little mind, she wanted to prove to Simon, and Constantine, and the other contestants, but most of all the producers, that she could still do it, that she could still deliver great performances. "What a great idea that was," she muttered to herself. The remaning seven contestants were rehearsing for their newest group song, the one where Carrie and Bo would play the guitar, and Anwar would play piano. They were going over lyrics for what seemed to be the millionth time when Carrie's head started to pound. Bo happened to be standing next to her, and she clutched his arm to keep from falling. Sheer exhaustion took over, and she collapsed in a stunned Bo's embrace.

"Constantine!" Bo yelled, and Vonzell ran off to get him. "Of course he had to be getting water now," he muttered.

A few seconds later, Constantine ran onstage. "What happened to her?"

"Search me, man. She got dizzy and she fainted. I've never been around anyone who's pregnant, but I'm guessing that's not supposed to happen."

"No duh, Sherlock."

Sighing, Constantine took Carrie in his arms and took her to her dressing room. Gently, he laid her on her bed. Luckily, the movement caused her to stir, and a second later, she opened her eyes. "Hey, baby," he whispered, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "You fainted."

"Crap," Carrie mumbled. "I'm sorry."

"Hey.." Constatine gently chided. "Don't start that, all right? It's not your fault. Those producers have been running us ragged every week, and you give it your all every single time. I know you." Then he became serious, gently rubbing her hand. "We need to tell them."

Carrie nodded weakly. "Okay."

As if one cue, Nigel, Ken, and Simon walked into the room. "How are you, love?" Simon asked somewhat kindly.

"Carrie, what happened?" Nigel wanted to know. "We can't afford for any of our finalists to get sick. Do you know how much money we'll lose if we push the competition back untill you get better with whatever's wrong with you?"

Carrie started to cry quietly. She had suddenly become hypersensitive and emotional these past weeks, and producers yelling at her wasn't helping matters. Constantine squeezed her hand gently, silently telling her it would be okay. Turning to the three men, his voice raised slightly. "Carrie goes all out for you people every single time you ask her to, and I haven't heard her complain once. Now she's tired, and everythng is catching up with her. She's not coming back. Not today. Not tomorrow."

"She's under contract. We can't cancel the show indefinently just go you can on off on some rendevoux with your girlfriend."

"Ken, I don't flippin' care what she signed. OR what I signed. I'll quit if I have to, to take care of Carrie. The last thing she needs right now is to be stressed out by you people. It's not good for her or the baby."

There was complete silence for a few moments. "She's pregnant?" Simon finally said incredulously.

Carrie spoke up for the first time in minutes. "I'm right here, guys. Don't talk about me like I'm not."

Constantine laughed softly, kissing her forehead. "I'm sorry, sweetheart."

She smiled. "It's okay. I rather like how you told them off."

"I had a feeling you would."

Ken finally found his voice. "Carrie...both of you. On behalf of us three, please accept our apologies. We'd love to keep you on the show. Whatever you and Constantine need, we'll try and make it happen for you. Anything to make this easy, and keep you healthy and safe."

Carrie smiled. "Honestly?"

"Honestly." They got up to leave the room, and after a long moment, Ken softly kissed her cheek. "Think about it. We don't want to lose you."

After they left, Carrie squealed, hugging Constantine as he spun her around. "We can stay!!" she exclaimed happily. Suddenly feeling she owed her boyfriend an explanation, she struggled to find the words. "It's...it's a pride thing with me. I just wanted to prove to myself that I could still do it, that being pregnant wouldn't and couldn't stop me."

"I know, honey. But...just try to slow it down a little, okay? Carrie Underwood, you and this baby are the most important things in the world to me. I can't lose either of you."

She kissed him softly, letting her lips linger on his for a few seconds. "You won't. If I have anything to say about it, you never will."

Unbeknowst to them, a male contestant was lurking in the shadows. Patting his jacket pocket proudly, he tiptoed away. Safe in the vicinity of his room, he played back the conversation, the one conversation that could ruin Carrie Underwood and Constantine Maroulis forever. This will teach Carrie not to play with people's hearts....

[Bella_KitKat]

Thank god for producers, Carrie thought groggily. True to their word, they had practically bent over backwards trying to accomodate her wishes. It was actually kind of cute. But between them and Constantine's protection of her every move, she knew she couldn't take any more surprises or any kind of suprising news. But the three heads of the show did have good qualities. They had generously allowed Constantine to move into her hotel suite - not such a big deal because he was there all the time anyway. But, still, it was the thought that counted. It was 5:30 in the morning, and she couldn't sleep. She sighed and snuggled deeper into his arms. "Thank you for loving me," she murmured softly.

Fifteen minutes later, Constatine woke up. He had always been the type of person that when he woke up, he was up for the day. Taking sight of the sleeping woman curled in his arms, he decided to take the opprotunity to make her breakfast in bed. Quickly scribbling a note do she wouldn't worry, he laid it on the pillow next to her head. She looks like an absolute angel when she's asleep like this. Gently smoothing the hair away from her face, he kissed her cheek before exiting the room.

Incessent knocking at the door brought Carrie back t the land of the living. Barely supressing a yawn, she stumbled out of bed, randomly swiping the air and luckily hitting the light switch. "How many times have I told you, honey? The whole reason I gave you a key is so you could just walk in."

"You hand out random keys to your apartment? That isn't safe, dear."

"D - daddy! Mom!" Carrie managed to say after a few seconds of shock. "Hi!"

"Pray For The Soul Of Betty?" her mother wondered, indicating to Carrie's oversized black shirt.

She blushed. "My...my friend has a band."

Luckily, she was saved from answering any other questions, because her dad started to talk, and Carrie knew that when her dad got going, it was best not to interrupt. "We can't even begin to say how proud we are of you, sweetie. You're making all your dreams come true, just like we always knew you would. And I'm so happy you're not like the other girls who so evidently get caught up in this fast and easy lifestyle....what was her name? Mackensie?"

She was about to protest that Mikalah was the best friend that she had, when suddenly she had the overwheling urge to puke. "Excuse me," she mumbled, practically collapsing over the toilet and heaving over and over again. She stayed in the bathroom for a few moments, before finally referring to what she called the firing squad - her parents.

"Are you sick?"

"You've been working too hard, haven't you? I knew this wasn't right! Carole, I knew this whole LA singing was a bad idea. Look what the smog has done to our poor girl."

Carrie would have laughed had the sutuation not been so serious, and, even then, she had to bite her lower lip to keep from laughing. "It's not smog, Daddy. It's morning sickness. Mom...Dad, I'm pregnant."

"WHAT??!!" her dad yelled. "Carrie Marie Underwood, how could you be so irrsponsible?! How could you do such a stupid thing?"

Instinctively, Carrie placed a protective hand on her stomach. "Don't you EVER call my child a mistake! I don't really care of you are my father....it was my choice, Daddy. We love each other, and we're going to raise this baby as a family."

"Who is he? You DO know his name, don't you? Or are you like every other slut who falls into some guy's bed?"

As of on cue, Constantine entered the room, having heard the entire rant. "With all due respect, sir - though you don't deserve any right now - don't you ever talk to your daughter that way again! Don't you ever treat her with anything but respect!"

"I can talk to MY DAUGHTER however damn well I please. And I don't see what business it is of yours."

"This is my child, and my girlfriend. If you hurt Carrie, it is my business."

Carrie's father threw up his hands in disgust. "Wonderful. Simply wonderful."

Carrie started to shake, and Constatine protectively wrapped his arms around her. "You don't even know him, Dad! You're just being prejudiced! It just so happens that Constantine Maroulis is the nicest, sweetest, most wonderful man I've ever known! He would do anything in the world for me, and I love him. I love him, Dad! You don’t - you don't know a single thing about him! And if you can't accept that he's the most important person in my life now, then I suggest you leave. Just leave.”

Her parents walked out the door without saying a word, and Carrie immediately burst into tears. "They hate me...."

[Bella_KitKat]

"We are strong / no one can tell us we're wrong / searching our hearts for so long / both of us knowing / love is a battlefield." Ever since the fiasco with her parents two days ago, Carrie had thrown herself full force into this week's preformance. At Constantine's suggestion, she had changed up her act a little bit. "It's always good to keep them on their toes, hon." Country was gone for time being...Carrie Underwood was out to show the world how tough she could be. No matter how bad she felt, no matter how much she simply wanted to crawl under the covers and sleep for the next weeks. She had performed the Pat Benetar rock classic since she was a tiny tot, and normally she loved the song, but she just couldn't get into it right then. Something was wrong. Each move she made used all the energy she had, and she was worn out, even with her nap that afternoon. Her breathing was slightly ragged, and she fely the beginnings of a fever coming on.

Evidently, her boyfriend noticed the same thing. "Lie down," he all but ordered her as soon as she was done singing. "You're pushing yourself too hard, again, Carrie. And you can't."

Feeling unbrarably awful by that point - only fifteen minutes had passed - Carrie wasn't in the mood, and frankly didn't have the energy to argue with him. She simply allowed him to pick her up, take her to their room and deposit her on the bed. Gently tucking her under the covers, he pulled the blankets up around her.

She had to smile, even though the simple action hurt. "Honey, I'm not ten years old."

Constantine immediately sat down beside her, taking her hand. "I know, sweetie. I know how independent you are, and I wouldn't change it for the world. Just let me take care of you tonight, okay?"

"That sounds good," she mumbled. "Me getting sick would give Daddy another reason not to like you."

He looked down. "I know I'm not what your parents wanted for you, hon."

Carrie took his hand, bringing it to her cheek and kissing it softly. "But you're what I want for me. And that counts too. I love you, Constantine, no matter what my dad says."

***

Show time. It was time to go on. No matter what, no matter how sucky she felt, she show must go on. No matter what, Carrie Underwood was no quitter. She couldn't let them down. She couldn't let herslf down. As the lights dimmed and the familiar music played, Carrie took a deep breath and walked on the stage. C'mon, girl. Hold out for 30 minutes. That's all. She sang her heart out, and thankfully she manged to make it through the group number and rest of the show. Thinking she could go the duration without anything happening, she was momenatrily stunned when Ryan brought up the topic.

"Carrie...you were a bit under the weather yesterday. Everything better now??"

"Just a little flu bug. You know, one of those nasty 24-hour things," she lied hesitantly. She snuck a glance at Constantine, begging him to help her out. Everyone knows I'm a horrible liar, she thought.

“Good to know. I'm sure Simon wouldn't want you to throw up all over his shoes."

Carrie manged a polite laugh, although her insides felt all topsy turvy again, and she knew it was only a matter of time before she needed to be sick. Remind me to kill Constantine. He's never touching me again...

***

All other contestants were at reheasal for the Ford commercial, but Ken and Constantine both insisted that she rest. "It's not gonna be over for another hour, and Con said he'd call," Carrie muttered, shuffling to answer the knock at her door. "I'll kill him for interrupting my sleep." However, she soon realized that she would gladly accept fatigue if it would take away the person at the door.

“Drake?” she whispered unbelievingly. Ex-boyfriends just didn't show up. "Did Daddy send you here?"

“He told me you were here, but...CareBear, I needed to see you."

“Don't call me CareBear. Never again,” she hissed fiercely. "I'm not yours. I moved on."

"Excuse me?"

She sighed. "Not that it's any of your business, but I'm with someone. I'm happy, Drake. We're done. We were done the day you ****ed around with Lacey."

“There's an Italian place across the street...just let me buy you dinner. You can even bring him."

Carrie rolled her eyes. "Oh, I bet he'd love that."

"Please?" Drake begged, looking at her with his soulful brown eyes that she had fallen in love with so many years ago. The eyes that never failed to make her melt inside. Carrie had to grip on to the doorknob as the memories flooded back.

She'd never know what made her say the word that came out of her mouth. "Okay."

***

As susptected, Constantine was not at all thrilled about sitting down to a meal to dinner with his girlfriend's ex-boyfriend, but nevertheless he agreed. Something about the guy made him uneasy, and he sure as hell wasn't going to leave Carrie alone with him. He wasn't going to let them pick up where they left off, as Drake obviously wanted.

“****,” Carrie mumbled as they entered the restaraunt door to see Drake already at the table. "Why did I agree to this?"

"Temporary insanity," Constantine whispered, a crooked grin on his lips. "Hey, just eat and then we'll go. An hour with him can't be that awful."

"You don't know Drake."

“So, Constantine…” Drake began as they sipped their drinks fifteen minutes later.

Constantine had really wanted a beer, but he knew that Carrie couldn't drink alcohol and he had a sense that she didn't want to answer any questions. I could really use that beer now....

“Carrie tells me you're in a band. So aren't you already famous and taleneted? Why would they let you on an amateur show?"

“Drake!" Carrie admonished. "You're being rude!"

"No, sweetheart, it's okay," Constantine assured her. Turning to Drake, he went on. "As a matter of fact, the band's doing great. We just got signed and our album should be coming out in a few months. We're already number 2 on presales.”

Carrie shook her head, trying not to giggle. She could tell he was so obviously bragging. She knew he was jealous, but he had no reason to be. He was the one she loved. She'd have to somehow prove it to him later. Now, however, she had to pee. Again. The fith time in two hours. "I'll be right back."

Aparrently, that particular resaraunt was the only one in the entire state which didn't have bathrooms. The ones they did have were gross, and Carrie wasn't about to set foot in them. Across the street was a gas station; she'd go there.

Ten minutes later, she emerged, ready to go back and rescue Constatine from Drake. But the masked man that sprang in front of her had other plans. "Play nice and do what I say," came a chilling voice in her ear. Her left arm was wrenched up behind her back, and Carrie cried out in pain.

"I didn't want to do this," he hissed viciously. "But I had to bring down the princess."

A sweet smelling cloth was placed over her nose and mouth, and Carrie was dragged away. But she couldn't pick up any clues to the man's identity. A murky darkness overcame her, and she slipped into unconsciousness.

[Bella_KitKat]

When Carrie finally regained consciousness, she found herself lying on a cold hard cot in a dark room. Her ankles were bound together, and her wrists were handcuffed to the edge of the bed. The clothes she had been wearing were ragged and dirty, and her top was now laying in a heap on the floor. "I loved that shirt," she whimpered softly. She tried to move, even a little, but the simplest twitch sent searing pains up her arms. Suddenly, though, the seriousness of the situation hit her. She was alone. Hoplessly and utterly alone at the hands of god-knows-who. She had no idea what would happen to her, but she knew she had to get away. Not only for her, but for her family. And not just her parents and sisters and friends back home, but her new family. Constantine. Constantine and their unborn child. And Mikalah, Bo, Lindsey, Mario, and all the other members of the Idol family. Everybody she loved so much - and everybody she was terrified she'd never see again.

The door creaked open, and a shadowed figure appeared menancingly in the doorway. Almost instinctively, Carrie cowered back, curling herself into a ball as best she could and putting a hand over her still flat stomach. The man came toward her, standing over her quivering body with a sharp knife gleaming in the light. She opened her mouth, set to deliver a bloodcurling scream, but all that came out was a strangled squeak. "Don't hurt me...please oh please don't hurt me. Whatever you want, it's yours."

"Fine time for you to consider someone else's feelings."

"What? Why?"

"I love you, Carrie Marie Underwood. I've loved you ever since I saw you in Hollywood. But you couldn't think of me, could you? No...in comes Mr. Greek God and he's got girls at his feet. I've never had that. Ever. And off you go with Greek boy, and I'm left in the dust. Well, I'll tell you this, missy," he hissed, shoving the blade underneath her throat. "Scott Savol will NOT get left in the dust anymore."

After tightening the kots binding her ankles, he slammed the door, his footsteps slowly dying away. A note taped to the doorknob fluttered to the floor, and luckily it landed to where Carrie could read it.

My beautiful princess.
I have a recording of you and Constantine talking to the producers about your little bundle of joy. If you even think of getting in touch with anyone or escaping, I'll play it to the world.
Simon wouldn't want to invest money in a pregnant Idol, now would he?
I knew you'd see it my way, honey.

Bursting into deep, uncontrollable tears, Carrie knew she was done for. Scott was right. Simon would never want her to win now. And Constantine...his whole career could be ruing. And she couldn't let that happen. She wouldn't be a good girlfriend if she allowed everything he worked so hard for to go up in flames. She loved him so much, but she respected his career ambitions more. No, she'd just have to wait it out.

**********************************************************

Thoroughly pissed, Constantine left the restaurant within ten minutes of Carrie's sudden departure. The dark ambiance of the streets matched his mood completely. "Stupid litter," he muttered, absently kicking a stray can. "Can't they tell a person in misery here?" Sure, he loved Carrie completely and nothing could or would ever change that, but he was going to have words with her when he got home. What had gotten into her? Sure, ex boyfriends were tough. He could see that. And with everything else stressing her as of late, he admired her for putting up with the guy. But to run off and leave him? The sensitive side of him allowed for the fact that she could have gotten sick and called a cab, but she would have called him by now. She knew how he worried about her.

Arriving back at the hotel, he was slightly suprised not to find her in her room and not to find a note explaining, but after a moment he relaxed. With she and Vonzell being the only girls for the last - oh, he'd say almost four - weeks, they had gotten pretty close. Many times Constantine had gone looking for her only to find a hastily scrawled note saying she was with Vonzell, eating or shopping or simply talking. That's probably what they were doing. No need to worry.

Okay, now I can worry. Full on panic, here I come. Carrie hadn't come home. Normally, when she lost track of time, she called sometime during the night, no matter how late it was. Always. Carrie wouldn't just NOT do that. Something was wrong. An awful feeling starting to grow in the pit of his stomach, Constantine ran to the room where Vonzell stayed. Banging loudly, he hoped feverently that Carrie was there. Otherwise, he had no clue what to do. After a few moments, Vonzell flung open the door, obviously angry at being woken up.

"Are you just doing this to piss me off or do you have a reason for being here so blasted early?"

"Is...is Carrie here? Oh, God, please say yes."

Vonzell looked surprised. "Can't keep track? She's your girlfriend, Con."

"Vonz, I'm serious. Did Carrie contact you at all last night?"

"She asked me what she should wear, but that was abut 8:00. Haven't heard since."

"Well, I can't find her. She skipped out on me at the restaraunt, and she didn't come home last night. I thought she was here, but now I'm starting to freak out."

The other woman's eyes widened in fear, and they both knew what she was thinking. Hurriedly grabbing a oversized sweatshirt over her tanktop, she slipped into some flip flops and followed Constantine to Bo's room. "Man, seen Carrie?" were the first words spoken when Bo opened the door.

"No...not since rehearsal yesterday."

"****." Without another word, he bounded for Anthony's room, leaving Bo and Vonzell no choice but to follow. Upon learning the young Ukranian had not seen Carrie since yesterday either, Constantine had no ****ing clue what to do next.

"Hey...where's Scott?"