Job Application - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Courtnee · 05-07-2005, 09:18 AM

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida...and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

Name: Greg Bulmash.

Sex: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

Desired position: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

Desired salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

Education: Yes.

Last position held: Target for middle management hostility.

Salary: Less than I'm worth.

Most notable achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

Reason for leaving: It sucked.

Hours available to work: Any.

Preferred hours: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

Do you have any special skills?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

May we contact your current employer?: If I had one, would I be here?

Do you have any physical conditions that would prohibit you from lifting up to 50 Lbs?: Of what?

Do you have a car?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

Have you received any special awards or recognition?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.

Do you smoke?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

What would you like to be doing in five years?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

Do you certify that the above is true and complete to the best of your knowledge?: Yes. Absolutely.

Sign here: Aries.

Mijada · 05-08-2005, 11:26 AM

I don't think I would ever have the guts to fill an app out that way, however the thought has crossed my mind.

Dutabi84 · 05-08-2005, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~*American Idiot*~

Reason for leaving: It sucked.

Have you received any special awards or recognition?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.

Haha! Brilliant.

Rhiannon · 05-08-2005, 12:48 PM

smartass.

Kay Scarpetta · 05-08-2005, 01:09 PM

I've seen that before. that's awesome

Georgia's on my Mind · 05-08-2005, 02:16 PM

ignorant people are a dime a dozen.

Coffeecup · 05-08-2005, 02:36 PM

I was surprised they hired him. It must be a made up story.

Hollow · 05-08-2005, 05:05 PM

i've seen that before. a lot of those answers are something i would put. the "most notable achievement" one really sounds like me.

Superstar · 05-09-2005, 03:39 AM

I saw it before

MsOrange · 05-09-2005, 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by coffeecup

I was surprised they hired him. It must be a made up story.

NO WAY!!!!

05-07-2005, 09:18 AM	#1
Courtnee MAN VS SAMMICH. Forum Star Join Date: Mar 23, 2005 Location: Louisiana Posts: 16,413	Job Application This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida...and they hired him because he was so honest and funny! Name: Greg Bulmash. Sex: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. Desired position: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. Desired salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. Education: Yes. Last position held: Target for middle management hostility. Salary: Less than I'm worth. Most notable achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. Reason for leaving: It sucked. Hours available to work: Any. Preferred hours: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Do you have any special skills?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. May we contact your current employer?: If I had one, would I be here? Do you have any physical conditions that would prohibit you from lifting up to 50 Lbs?: Of what? Do you have a car?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" Have you received any special awards or recognition?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes. Do you smoke?: On the job no, on my breaks yes. What would you like to be doing in five years?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. Do you certify that the above is true and complete to the best of your knowledge?: Yes. Absolutely. Sign here: Aries.
	__________________ Whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection A freckle on the nose of life's complexion The Cinderella or the shine apple of its eye I gotta fly once, I gotta try once, Only can die once, right, sir? Ooh, life is juicy, juicy and you see, I gotta have my bite, sir. Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer" I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer Don't bring around the cloud to rain on my parade

05-08-2005, 12:48 PM	#4
Rhiannon oh, snap! Forum Fanatic Join Date: Jul 19, 2002 Location: middle of nowhere Posts: 11,097	smartass.
	__________________ Nothing better the feeling is so fine Simply put I saw your love stream flow

05-08-2005, 01:09 PM	#5
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	I've seen that before. that's awesome
	__________________ The people who think they know everything about Broadway make me laugh. They've never seen a Broadway play in their life. "oh mi godddd RENT's a mooovie! lyke 525600 minuuuuuuutes!" No. To be a Broadway Freak, you must live, eat, sleep, study, devout, think, obsess, dream, believe Broadway. You must know original & revival casts, soundtracks, performance runs, dates, theatres, numbers, how many Tony Awards A Chorus Line won. You must be Broadway. That's right bitches. I AM Broadway.

05-08-2005, 11:26 AM	#2
Mijada Spencers mom Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 02, 2001 Location: eastern US Posts: 4,093	I don't think I would ever have the guts to fill an app out that way, however the thought has crossed my mind.

05-08-2005, 02:16 PM	#6
Georgia's on my Mind Senior Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Aug 19, 2001 Posts: 25,054	ignorant people are a dime a dozen.

05-08-2005, 02:36 PM	#7
Coffeecup coffeecup. Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 17, 2003 Location: snoozeville Posts: 3,183	I was surprised they hired him. It must be a made up story.

05-08-2005, 05:05 PM	#8
Hollow Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Dec 16, 2001 Posts: 30,406	i've seen that before. a lot of those answers are something i would put. the "most notable achievement" one really sounds like me.

05-09-2005, 03:39 AM	#9
Superstar Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 08, 2003 Posts: 63,316	I saw it before