When a coworker leaves..... - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

MandieR1980 · 04-30-2005, 07:54 PM

I just found out today that a coworker of mine who I have strong feelings for is leaving to go work for his dad. I'm am so heartbroken. I am scared to death to ask him out but if I don't do something I may never see or hear from him again. He didn't tell me he was leaving I found out from another coworker. This really sucks.

Him leaving could be a good thing because there's a rule against coworkers dating but just the thought of never seeing him again makes me sick to my stomach.

Eric2000 · 04-30-2005, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MandieR1980

I just found out today that a coworker of mine who I have strong feelings for is leaving to go work for his dad. I'm am so heartbroken. I am scared to death to ask him out but if I don't do something I may never see or hear from him again. He didn't tell me he was leaving I found out from another coworker. This really sucks.

Him leaving could be a good thing because there's a rule against coworkers dating but just the thought of never seeing him again makes me sick to my stomach.

i know how u feel....

i felt that way towards a co-worker who was a friend...now we don't talk...and i think he hates me or something

it was like i feared "not being around them" but i got over it

TripperFan · 04-30-2005, 08:05 PM

CARPE DIEM!!!!!

Trust me on this one - 26 years after leaving highschool, to this day, I regret not asking out a guy who I had adored from afar for two whole school years! The worst that would have happened was for him to say a polite no (I know he wouldn't have been rotten about it).

I found out a couple of months later that he would have loved for me to ask him out - he had been too shy also!!! We lost contact (funny - he had gone to work for his dad before going to University) - never to be seen again.!!

I don't know how well you know him, but just approach him one morning and open with "I heard you were leaving us..." Talk about what he's going to be doing and then that should smoothly lead you into "Hey - since we had a no dating rule here, I knew I couldn't do this before, but now that you're leaving, would you like to go out to <fill in blank here>". That way, if he's not involved and interested, he'll say yes, you exchange numbers and there ya go!! If for whatever reason he says no - try not to take it hard (or at least let him see it) and say - o.k. - that's fine - just didn't want to miss an opportunity to ask. And then you may only have to see him for the next few days (depending on how much notice he gave) and you won't have to suffer!

There's no reason today that girls shouldn't be able to approach a guy. I'm sure most would be flattered and nicely surprised no matter what.

Mijada · 04-30-2005, 08:13 PM

If you are too scared to ask him out you could always take a more subtle approach and just suggest to him that you keep in touch after he leaves. Exchange E-Mail addresses, phone numbers etc. After talking on the phone a few times you might find out that he is interested in you and maybe he'll ask you out.

Janice · 04-30-2005, 08:14 PM

It's hard in general saying good-bye to co-workers, whether they leave or you leave. I've made wonderful friends in jobs, and we promised we'd stay in touch. Then life kicks in and you lose touch. I call them situational friends. When the situation ends, the friendship usually ends as well. It's sad.

MandieR1980 · 04-30-2005, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mijada

If you are too scared to ask him out you could always take a more subtle approach and just suggest to him that you keep in touch after he leaves. Exchange E-Mail addresses, phone numbers etc. After talking on the phone a few times you might find out that he is interested in you and maybe he'll ask you out.

yeah that's what I plan on doing and I'm gonna suggest we hang out together. We chat alot at work about tv shows etc and he smiles at me alot so I don't really know if he feels the same way about me. The thing is he USED to be engaged to be married but they broke up and I believe she moved out of state. I don't know if he's avoiding relationships now or what. I'm so afraid I'm gonna make a fool out of myself. Even though I'm very close to my goal weight I still can't let some of my insecurities go.

TripperFan · 04-30-2005, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MandieR1980

yeah that's what I plan on doing and I'm gonna suggest we hang out together. We chat alot at work about tv shows etc and he smiles at me alot so I don't really know if he feels the same way about me. The thing is he USED to be engaged to be married but they broke up and I believe she moved out of state. I don't know if he's avoiding relationships now or what. I'm so afraid I'm gonna make a fool out of myself. Even though I'm very close to my goal weight I still can't let some of my insecurities go.

Well if you are that timid, then maybe best to do the email and phone number exchange thing. I'll bet you're going to be pleasantly surprised though!

I know what Janice means. I've kept in touch with quite a few of my friends, but we still don't always get together even if we intend to. Or sometimes you'll keep in touch for a year or two and then it fades. Unfortunately that happens to the majority of our friendships in life.

MandieR1980 · 04-30-2005, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TripperFan

Well if you are that timid, then maybe best to do the email and phone number exchange thing. I'll bet you're going to be pleasantly surprised though!

I know what Janice means. I've kept in touch with quite a few of my friends, but we still don't always get together even if we intend to. Or sometimes you'll keep in touch for a year or two and then it fades. Unfortunately that happens to the majority of our friendships in life.

I know that all too well, I had a best friend that I met in Kindergarten and we stayed close all through middle school but we ended up going to different high schools we still kept in touch and hung out but it wasn't the same, 2 years ago she got married and didn't even invite me to the wedding that really hurt my feelings especially since we'd talk on AOL about the details she never mentioned me being invited and I am not one to invite myself I always thought I would get an invitation but never got one.

TripperFan · 04-30-2005, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MandieR1980

I know that all too well, I had a best friend that I met in Kindergarten and we stayed close all through middle school but we ended up going to different high schools we still kept in touch and hung out but it wasn't the same, 2 years ago she got married and didn't even invite me to the wedding that really hurt my feelings especially since we'd talk on AOL about the details she never mentioned me being invited and I am not one to invite myself I always thought I would get an invitation but never got one.

That really DOES suck! You'd think you had kept in touch enough at least through the years that you'd be invited. And even if she was having a very small, intimate wedding, as long as its in a church, anyone can attend. We couldn't afford everyone we wanted, or I felt I didn't know people enough maybe for the reception, but because my fiance and I worked at the same place, thought some would want to attend the service. So I invited some people to the church and then others, got the church and reception invite. She could have at least suggested that to you.
I'm sorry she did that to you. That was thoughtless of her.

dawsongirl · 04-30-2005, 10:47 PM

I've known that feeling. It's heartbreaking. The email thing is good though. Like me, I actually cried when my second to last semester of college was over, and it wasn't tears of relief! I was gonna really miss this guy. Well, I emailed him out of the blue one day and now we talk and stuff.

You just never know.

dawsongirl · 04-30-2005, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MandieR1980

2 years ago she got married and didn't even invite me to the wedding

I've had a couple friends do that to me too. Their loss...no nice gift from me. And a sudden attack of amnesia when I get married.

Adamantium · 05-01-2005, 02:00 AM

There was a co-worker that I was in love with. We worked together for two years. We even went out once. She was the first girl I ever asked out. She quit a couple months ago. She gave me her phone number and e-mail address. Except then she moved (In with her boyfriend, who's also a co-worker) so her phone number didn't work and she still hasn't responded to my e-mails.

By the way, she wasn't always dating that other co-worker. They started dating in secret. It was a horrible day when the secret was out. I'm still not over her and to make things worse, her boyfriend is a nice guy and I can't get myself to hate him. He was even trying to talk me into going to college to become a writer. I had written the girl a couple stories to impress her. I guess she must have shown him because he was telling me the other day that I'm a good writer.

Most of the other co-workers that have left, I haven't seen. It's sad. These people are a big part of my life. I hate saying goodbye to people I like. Yet I just never get the chance to say goodbye to people I can't stand.

TripperFan · 05-01-2005, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TVAdam

There was a co-worker that I was in love with. We worked together for two years. We even went out once. She was the first girl I ever asked out. She quit a couple months ago. She gave me her phone number and e-mail address. Except then she moved (In with her boyfriend, who's also a co-worker) so her phone number didn't work and she still hasn't responded to my e-mails.

By the way, she wasn't always dating that other co-worker. They started dating in secret. It was a horrible day when the secret was out. I'm still not over her and to make things worse, her boyfriend is a nice guy and I can't get myself to hate him. He was even trying to talk me into going to college to become a writer. I had written the girl a couple stories to impress her. I guess she must have shown him because he was telling me the other day that I'm a good writer.

Most of the other co-workers that have left, I haven't seen. It's sad. These people are a big part of my life. I hate saying goodbye to people I like. Yet I just never get the chance to say goodbye to people I can't stand.

That's sad. You sound like you're handling it very maturely though by not taking it out on her new guy (not many can separate that). He sounds like a good guy too to be encouraging you with your writing. Funny how like works. You may have a lost a girl (don't worry - many more will follow), but you've gained a good friend.

I know how you feel about saying goodbye. I had worked with my co-workers for almost 19 years. Talk about being a huge part of your life! They made up 98% of my friend base. It really was heartbreaking. Luckily someone made CDs with everyone's name, address, emails and phone numbers so we could try to keep in touch for a while at least. It's also good to try to keep in touch for job networking.

I wish you the best for your romantic future and your friendship with the guy co-worker.

MandieR1980 · 05-01-2005, 12:32 PM

Thanks I think I'll be seeing him tomorrow morning and I'm a nervous wreck.

Zebra 3 · 05-01-2005, 01:26 PM

Take a deep breath and go with the 'phone number, Email keep in touch' scheme.

04-30-2005, 07:54 PM	#1
MandieR1980 Member Senior Member Join Date: Mar 03, 2001 Location: East Taunton, Massachusetts Posts: 2,635	When a coworker leaves..... I just found out today that a coworker of mine who I have strong feelings for is leaving to go work for his dad. I'm am so heartbroken. I am scared to death to ask him out but if I don't do something I may never see or hear from him again. He didn't tell me he was leaving I found out from another coworker. This really sucks. Him leaving could be a good thing because there's a rule against coworkers dating but just the thought of never seeing him again makes me sick to my stomach.
	__________________ Mandie myspace.com/mlr930

04-30-2005, 08:05 PM	#3
TripperFan In God's Arms Now Forum Star Join Date: Sep 14, 2003 Location: Heartbreak Ridge Posts: 12,086	CARPE DIEM!!!!! Trust me on this one - 26 years after leaving highschool, to this day, I regret not asking out a guy who I had adored from afar for two whole school years! The worst that would have happened was for him to say a polite no (I know he wouldn't have been rotten about it). I found out a couple of months later that he would have loved for me to ask him out - he had been too shy also!!! We lost contact (funny - he had gone to work for his dad before going to University) - never to be seen again.!! I don't know how well you know him, but just approach him one morning and open with "I heard you were leaving us..." Talk about what he's going to be doing and then that should smoothly lead you into "Hey - since we had a no dating rule here, I knew I couldn't do this before, but now that you're leaving, would you like to go out to <fill in blank here>". That way, if he's not involved and interested, he'll say yes, you exchange numbers and there ya go!! If for whatever reason he says no - try not to take it hard (or at least let him see it) and say - o.k. - that's fine - just didn't want to miss an opportunity to ask. And then you may only have to see him for the next few days (depending on how much notice he gave) and you won't have to suffer! There's no reason today that girls shouldn't be able to approach a guy. I'm sure most would be flattered and nicely surprised no matter what.
	__________________ If I don't see you in this world, I'll meet you in the next one.....don't be late James Marshall Hendrix Voodoo Chile The Forum Legend formerly known as TripperFan "religion is for people who are afraid of hell--spirituality is for people who have been through hell"---anonymous

05-01-2005, 01:26 PM	#15
Zebra 3 Striped Tomato Forum Veteran Join Date: Jun 26, 2002 Location: Bay City Posts: 5,812	My Advice Take a deep breath and go with the 'phone number, Email keep in touch' scheme.
	__________________ Sitcoms Online STARSKY & HUTCH Message Board

04-30-2005, 08:13 PM	#4
Mijada Spencers mom Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 02, 2001 Location: eastern US Posts: 4,093	If you are too scared to ask him out you could always take a more subtle approach and just suggest to him that you keep in touch after he leaves. Exchange E-Mail addresses, phone numbers etc. After talking on the phone a few times you might find out that he is interested in you and maybe he'll ask you out.

04-30-2005, 08:14 PM	#5
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	It's hard in general saying good-bye to co-workers, whether they leave or you leave. I've made wonderful friends in jobs, and we promised we'd stay in touch. Then life kicks in and you lose touch. I call them situational friends. When the situation ends, the friendship usually ends as well. It's sad.

04-30-2005, 10:47 PM	#10
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	I've known that feeling. It's heartbreaking. The email thing is good though. Like me, I actually cried when my second to last semester of college was over, and it wasn't tears of relief! I was gonna really miss this guy. Well, I emailed him out of the blue one day and now we talk and stuff. You just never know.

05-01-2005, 02:00 AM	#12
Adamantium TVAdam No More Forum Veteran Join Date: Sep 11, 2002 Location: Springfield, Ohio Posts: 7,839	There was a co-worker that I was in love with. We worked together for two years. We even went out once. She was the first girl I ever asked out. She quit a couple months ago. She gave me her phone number and e-mail address. Except then she moved (In with her boyfriend, who's also a co-worker) so her phone number didn't work and she still hasn't responded to my e-mails. By the way, she wasn't always dating that other co-worker. They started dating in secret. It was a horrible day when the secret was out. I'm still not over her and to make things worse, her boyfriend is a nice guy and I can't get myself to hate him. He was even trying to talk me into going to college to become a writer. I had written the girl a couple stories to impress her. I guess she must have shown him because he was telling me the other day that I'm a good writer. Most of the other co-workers that have left, I haven't seen. It's sad. These people are a big part of my life. I hate saying goodbye to people I like. Yet I just never get the chance to say goodbye to people I can't stand.

05-01-2005, 12:32 PM	#14
MandieR1980 Member Senior Member Join Date: Mar 03, 2001 Location: East Taunton, Massachusetts Posts: 2,635	Thanks I think I'll be seeing him tomorrow morning and I'm a nervous wreck.