Why Women are Crabby - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Ags2000 · 04-28-2005, 12:42 PM

Why Women are Crabby

We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods n our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.

Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.

Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the ***** (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

Then come their teen years. Need I say more?

When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.

So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...

So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.

I love it.

D

TripperFan · 04-28-2005, 12:47 PM

And let's not forget how we sprout whiskers like a catfish during menapause too!!

And just when you think you're getting white hairs "down there", it turns out they're actually cobwebs!!!

I'm waiting for it to just heal over and be done with it!!!

*MIBabe03* · 04-28-2005, 01:37 PM

I know why we are crabby. 3 letters P.M.S.

Max Whittaker · 04-28-2005, 02:33 PM

I always thought the female was actually stronger than the male. As you say, you go threw so much more! Honestly, I doubt I would be able to handle it! It's inconceivable, really.

I guess that is the reason many problems arise between the sexes. We both have a world of different experiences! Often men come off as being insensitive because we really can't know!

Kazza · 04-28-2005, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TripperFan

And just when you think you're getting white hairs "down there", it turns out they're actually cobwebs!!!

MsOrange · 04-28-2005, 03:39 PM

love it

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 04-28-2005, 05:29 PM

ahaha

Penny Lane · 04-28-2005, 08:24 PM

Oh my gosh! This is so funny! My poor husband puts up with a lot! I admire his bravery!

TheGreatPretender · 04-28-2005, 08:45 PM

That really depressed me.

robyrob · 04-28-2005, 09:16 PM

there is too much estrogen in this thread.

Courtnee · 04-28-2005, 09:20 PM

Living In a '70's Dream · 04-28-2005, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desperate_Fan03

I know why we are crabby. 3 letters P.M.S.

No M.E.N.

Rhiannon · 04-28-2005, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desperate_Fan03

I know why we are crabby. 3 letters P.M.S.

oooh yes!

Warm & Fuzzy · 04-28-2005, 10:44 PM

Nice, D.

Georgia's on my Mind · 04-28-2005, 11:33 PM

I am not amused.

04-28-2005, 12:42 PM	#1
Ags2000 Red 2/13/90 -1/5/06 Forum Veteran Join Date: May 02, 2001 Location: Candyland Posts: 5,544	Why Women are Crabby Why Women are Crabby We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs. Next, we get our periods n our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had. Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about. Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby. Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the ***** (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole. After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines. Then come their teen years. Need I say more? When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday. So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves. Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks... So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me. I love it. D
	__________________ RIP Captain Lyle "Fish Stix" Gordon U.S. Marine Corps So this is how Liberty dies, with thunderous applause. -Senator Padme Amidala Can't wait until the 2016 change.

04-28-2005, 12:47 PM	#2
TripperFan In God's Arms Now Forum Star Join Date: Sep 14, 2003 Location: Heartbreak Ridge Posts: 12,086	And let's not forget how we sprout whiskers like a catfish during menapause too!! And just when you think you're getting white hairs "down there", it turns out they're actually cobwebs!!! I'm waiting for it to just heal over and be done with it!!!
	__________________ If I don't see you in this world, I'll meet you in the next one.....don't be late James Marshall Hendrix Voodoo Chile The Forum Legend formerly known as TripperFan "religion is for people who are afraid of hell--spirituality is for people who have been through hell"---anonymous

04-28-2005, 01:37 PM	#3
MIBabe03 Loving Swingtown! Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 28, 2002 Location: TX Posts: 4,646	I know why we are crabby. 3 letters P.M.S.
	__________________ Laura and Mario November 10, 2006

04-28-2005, 05:29 PM	#7
Pleasant Tomorrow Member Forum Addict Join Date: Feb 19, 2003 Location: New York Posts: 69,525	ahaha
	__________________ my name is ashlee Welcome! Everything is fine.

04-28-2005, 08:24 PM	#8
Penny Lane Butter Pie Forum Icon Join Date: Jul 03, 2001 Location: Beneath the blue suburban skies Posts: 51,263	Oh my gosh! This is so funny! My poor husband puts up with a lot! I admire his bravery!
	__________________ Vulgarity is no substitute for wit- Lady Violet Crawley

04-28-2005, 02:33 PM	#4
Max Whittaker I want Serenity back Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 30, 2001 Posts: 6,180	I always thought the female was actually stronger than the male. As you say, you go threw so much more! Honestly, I doubt I would be able to handle it! It's inconceivable, really. I guess that is the reason many problems arise between the sexes. We both have a world of different experiences! Often men come off as being insensitive because we really can't know!

04-28-2005, 03:39 PM	#6
MsOrange Bringin' Sexy Back Forum Veteran Join Date: Dec 27, 2004 Posts: 6,133	love it

04-28-2005, 08:45 PM	#9
TheGreatPretender just because Forum Veteran Join Date: May 22, 2004 Location: Trying to think of a creative, witty location. Posts: 7,628	That really depressed me.

04-28-2005, 09:16 PM	#10
robyrob certified wackball#3 Moderator Forum Icon Join Date: Aug 03, 2003 Location: hiding under the third booth at Arnold's Posts: 58,203	there is too much estrogen in this thread.
	__________________ * firefox * AdAware * HiJackThis * CoolWebShredder * Spybot * SpywareBlaster * Spyware Terminator * * GeeksToGo * AntiVir * Avast antivirus * Housecall Online * Sysinternals Security Utilities * * ZoneAlarm * Agnitum-firewall * Comodo Firewall * AVG Anti-Rootkit * RootkitRevealer * ParasiteCheck * * Annoyances * FreeCodecs * Mikes-Hosts-File * GRC.com * MSAntispyware * DVD's * TradeList * myspace *

04-28-2005, 09:20 PM	#11
Courtnee MAN VS SAMMICH. Forum Star Join Date: Mar 23, 2005 Location: Louisiana Posts: 16,413	HAHA!!
	__________________ Whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection A freckle on the nose of life's complexion The Cinderella or the shine apple of its eye I gotta fly once, I gotta try once, Only can die once, right, sir? Ooh, life is juicy, juicy and you see, I gotta have my bite, sir. Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer" I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer Don't bring around the cloud to rain on my parade

04-28-2005, 10:44 PM	#14
Warm & Fuzzy Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 02, 2001 Posts: 10,254	Nice, D.
	__________________ "To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world." ~Unknown

04-28-2005, 11:33 PM	#15
Georgia's on my Mind Senior Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Aug 19, 2001 Posts: 25,054	I am not amused.