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#1 |
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Member
Forum Star
Join Date: Aug 01, 2003
Location: Alabama
Posts: 16,174
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Is it possible to cry under water?
How important do people have to be before they're considered "assassinated" instead of just "murdered"? Since bread is square, why is sandwich meat round? Why do you "put your two cents in," but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours? Why are people IN a movie, but ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no human being could eat? When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs. What do you call male ballerinas? If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME junk, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Do "The Alphabet Song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your bum? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets snarly at you, but when you take him for a car ride he sticks his head out the window?
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Brent |
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#2 |
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Member
Forum Fanatic
Join Date: Sep 22, 2003
Posts: 9,009
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I've seen those before in an email... they are quite interesting.
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#3 |
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Are you dreaming?
Frequent Poster
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I actually did sing the songs in my head...
, and I just realized it's the same tune
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__________________
From Everybody Loves Raymond: Raymond-"You denied knowing me at the potluck!?!?" Debra-"You were stuffing food down your pants." --- Frank-"I'm not so scary, am I?" Ally-"Not more than grandma." --- From FRIENDS: Chandler-"Call it in the air." Joey-"Heads!" Chandler-"Heads it is!" Joey-"Yes!" Chandler-"We have to assign heads to something!" Joey-"Okay, ducks is heads because ducks have heads!" Chandler-"What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday? --- |
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#4 |
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Member
Forum Superstar
Join Date: Dec 16, 2001
Posts: 30,406
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i hate these things.
- Can you cry under water? yes. - How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? the term "assassinated" is usually used when the case was political. - If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? money doesn't physically grow on them. however, MONEY DOES GROW ON TREES! Money = paper. paper = trees. - Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? it isn't just used for standard shaped sandwiches. - Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? there's no relation. - Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? not if you don't want to. - Why does a round pizza come in a square box? boxes are usually square. - What disease did cured ham actually have? none. - How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? no one cared enough about the luggage to bother with it yet. - Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? they still sleep a lot, but whoever uses that term isn't apparently thinking about it. - If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? yes. - If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you? probably not. - Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? we've just adapted different terms for them. - Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? it's amusing how close you can see things from way up there. - How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? that's how they're organized. - Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. it's still more comfortable for some people. - If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? another operator Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? yes. - Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,"I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" adam - Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? that's an overgeneralization - Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? so the light doesn't warm the contents in the freezer - When your photo is taken for your driver's license,why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling? just so the picture will look nice. - If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? to express it. - Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? yes. - If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,why can't he fix a hole in a boat? that was a real radio. - Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? BECAUSE IT'S HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE. - Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! different kinds of dogs. What do you call male ballerinas? ballet dancers. - Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? if they became blind after birth, they can only visually dream about what they've seen. if they were born blind, their dreams only have sound and no image. - If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? he wanted the roadrunner. - If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? the terms aren't necessarily used the same way, as far as the adjectives. - If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? no, there's no common "mor-" prefix used in those words. - Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? mickey mouse doesn't exist. so no. - Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? duh. - Why did you just try singing the two songs above? i noticed they had the same tune years ago. - Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? the prefixes don't refer to "ass" or "hemisphere". - Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? it's different. |
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#5 | |
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Pop Culture Goddess
Forum Fanatic
Join Date: Apr 15, 2003
Location: US of A - the country of "really bad music" lovers
Posts: 11,600
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Quote:
I've got one more-- Why do we drive on a parkway, but park on a driveway? |
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Rest in Peace to my Penny-pie. You really were a GREAT dog. I'll see you at the Rainbow Bridge. Penny 9/1/97-12/9/09 Rescued animals make the best pets. Opt to Adopt!! ![]() ![]()
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#6 |
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In God's Arms Now
Forum Star
Join Date: Sep 14, 2003
Location: Heartbreak Ridge
Posts: 12,086
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If fish travel in schools, are there any dropouts?
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If I don't see you in this world, I'll meet you in the next one.....don't be late James Marshall Hendrix Voodoo Chile ![]() The Forum Legend formerly known as TripperFan "religion is for people who are afraid of hell--spirituality is for people who have been through hell"---anonymous |
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#7 |
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MISS APRIL
Forum Addict
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Do "The Alphabet Song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Totally did that. |
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DAVID COOK FOR AMERICAN IDOL |
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#8 | |
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Member
Forum Icon
Join Date: Jan 04, 2001
Posts: 53,140
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Quote:
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#9 |
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Member
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 05, 2002
Location: Watching Classic Sitcoms 24/7....
Posts: 1,509
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I've got one too.
In baseball why is the championship called the World Series, when both teams playing are representing the U.S.? |
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#10 | |
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In God's Arms Now
Forum Star
Join Date: Sep 14, 2003
Location: Heartbreak Ridge
Posts: 12,086
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Quote:
That only made sense during the 1992/1993 seasons when it really was a world series (and we won) na na na na naaaaaa!!
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#11 |
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Member
Forum Celebrity
Join Date: Nov 22, 2003
Posts: 21,770
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Wow interesting questions, lol.
Cool that some of you could answer them
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__________________
Formally, FullHouseFan8795, *CamdenGirl89*, Lana Lang, Ruthie Lang, CravinForCarrie, and Girl Meets World. |
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#12 | |
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Defy Gravity 8.26.05
Forum Superstar
Join Date: Jul 04, 2001
Location: La Vie Boheme
Posts: 28,013
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Quote:
always gets me.
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__________________
"oh mi godddd RENT's a mooovie! lyke 525600 minuuuuuuutes!" No. To be a Broadway Freak, you must live, eat, sleep, study, devout, think, obsess, dream, believe Broadway. You must know original & revival casts, soundtracks, performance runs, dates, theatres, numbers, how many Tony Awards A Chorus Line won. You must be Broadway. That's right bitches. I AM Broadway. |
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#13 |
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Member
Forum Superstar
Join Date: Dec 12, 2001
Location: Living where cats reign more Supreme than a pizza.
Posts: 31,619
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People HAVE been known for getting fired for drinking Pepsi at Coke factories.
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Release the kitties. --Nathan Explosion |
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#14 |
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Butter Pie
Forum Icon
Join Date: Jul 03, 2001
Location: Beneath the blue suburban skies
Posts: 51,308
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Another one;
Easy as pie? Have you ever tried making a flaky piecrust? It's NOT easy! And another; Easy as taking candy from a baby. Just try it once!
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Vulgarity is no substitute for wit- Lady Violet Crawley |
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#15 |
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RonFingSwanson
Forum Idol
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__________________
Id Love to help you Tracy, but I cant have sex with a black guy, Id lose my endorsement deal with NASCAR-Jenna Maroney,30 Rock April 17,2009 9:02 PM : 100,000th post! |
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