Clean and Sober

[Howdoulikemenow333]

Some people say that Alchoha runs in the family, my dad hd it,he died of it.I'm still struggleing with mineI knew I had a problem in 1982 I went through re-habes in and outwent to Oregon from Alaska to be in one lasted 5 months then went back home in 1986,but started driking againg with my so-called friends,Lately I have been drinking,I go to meetings the logest I'v been clean was in 1999-2002I always say to my self i can handled it it's only beer,but by the time I get my 10 or 13 beers down I am ready to go and party. I have few freinds here,who still drink,and i have AA friendsmore of them, I am lyeing to my self telling me it's ok to drink,nobody will know,only me,I go to the bars,what a waste there.I used to love beer,then do drugs at the same time,I'm though with drugs ex-ecpt alcohal, when I was in re-habs I coul not get it,now I can get it,but I really don't want it,I really don't wantto drink,I need to read the big book of AA and say my prayers, when I'm offthe stuff for awhile I feel like a brand new person,but when I start I go down the wrong path,I do go to meetings sometimes I don't wantto go,I have done some stubid stuff when I drink even wentto jail for a night,drove runk,don't have a car now,but I could get one. The only thing is I keep lyeing and I need not to/I'll go to my meeting tomarrow and things will be fine being clean and sober has got to be on top of my list,to top it all I do have Diabites. Well thats all for for,sorry if I boring you with my thoughts,lol.

[TripperFan]

I hope you can overcome this Alaskaboy. My father was an alcoholic and went through the same things. He'd be in rehab (he bragged he had the largest liver in the class) and would be off for six months (the longest ever went without a drink) and was feeling great. He would "palm" his antibuse to make the family think he was taking it when he really wasn't it. Then he would think nobody would know if he took a drink. Alcoholics CANNOT just have one drink or beer - EVER. That's the difference between the disease and social drinkers. You're not like other people. My father also lost his license after totalling his prize Oldsmobile. Thank God he didn't kill anybody. He was never able to overcome it and only a year and a half out of rehab he died at the young age of 53 leaving a wife and three kids behind. He was a wonderful man other than his addiction and it was a huge loss that I've never fully come to grips with.
It does run in families too. I have an addictive personality and luckily was very careful with alcohol especially (but I am terribly hooked on cigarettes). Both my brothers are heavy drinkers though - one I'm sure is an outright alcoholic who's also cross-addicted to drugs.
Please for your and your family's sake, get yourself back into rehab. I don't think AA is enough for you. And like other addicts it may take several attempts. Just think of how you feel when you're clean. Your drinker partners are NOT your friends. And yes, if your diabetic, you realize you could die at anytime if you continue drinking.
I wish you strength and all the best in your recovery. It's not easy I know.
Hang in there!

[Penny Lane]

I have a family member who had gone through Rehab 6 months ago. He still attends group therapy twice a week and it seems to be working so far. Alcoholism has ruined his life. He has nothing. He sold everything he owned just to have the money to buy booze. Luckily he does have family support but that is starting to wear thin. I hope that both you and he will kick it this time! I am not an expert but I think willpower is the answer(or a serious illness like liver disease) Good luck!

[Kay Scarpetta]

Hey... I had a drug/alcohol problem for the past 2 years or so. I know yours has been around a lot longer, but like yours, my dad is an alcoholic and that's where it came from on me. The drugs were so bad that they shipped me to rehab last summer, because as someone told me, I'd end up "dead at the bottom of a creek" soon. It didn't help as much as I thought it would... I figured out that I had to stop using when I was ready.

I don't struggle with staying clean from the drugs. Alcohol, well that's a different story. I know what you're going through, I honestly do. I know what you mean when you say you don't want it... it's hard. And then when you slip, you are so disappointed in yourself. Try to keep up on the meetings, the AA/NA meeting thing didn't work for me so much, but it's helping for a lot of people I know. Hang in there... I promise, you will overcome this

[dawsongirl]

God I'm glad I don't have that problem. I can sort of sympathize with the struggle with my anxiety, but it's not as bad. I hope you all can kick your habits one way or another! You'll feel better physically and mentally. Nothing worse than having something eat at you like that.

[CollegeDropout]

I'm sorry, thats good that you recognize you have a problem and want to change, I wish my brother realized that when he smokes...its gross. Anyways I am not even 21 and I'm starting to think of cutting back, because I have a low tolerance and get drunk very quickly, like two beers I am already buzzed. But I threw up once last night and was like shivering, and then today Ive been throwing up like every hr since I woke up at 9...so now I am realizing that alcohal isnt all that great, I mean I couldnt walk last night, and another night I once yelled my best friend. When it gets to the point where you are harming yourself and people you love, you need to cut back. I dont think I have a problem though, bc I only drink with friends, and we dont drink every weekend bc there are other ways to have fun without drinking but people have remarked that I am a binge drinker, but I dont know. Last night I had 2 beers, about 5 shots, and I played ruit and I realized to late that this was wayyy too much for me and now am vowing that I am not going to drink for a while, but this is what I said after New Years. I dont know this was basically me rambling about my own problems, but I hope everything works out, and us people her at SO are here for you

[TripperFan]

Originally Posted by CollegeDropout

I'm sorry, thats good that you recognize you have a problem and want to change, I wish my brother realized that when he smokes...its gross. Anyways I am not even 21 and I'm starting to think of cutting back, because I have a low tolerance and get drunk very quickly, like two beers I am already buzzed. But I threw up once last night and was like shivering, and then today Ive been throwing up like every hr since I woke up at 9...so now I am realizing that alcohal isnt all that great, I mean I couldnt walk last night, and another night I once yelled my best friend. When it gets to the point where you are harming yourself and people you love, you need to cut back. I dont think I have a problem though, bc I only drink with friends, and we dont drink every weekend bc there are other ways to have fun without drinking but people have remarked that I am a binge drinker, but I dont know. Last night I had 2 beers, about 5 shots, and I played ruit and I realized to late that this was wayyy too much for me and now am vowing that I am not going to drink for a while, but this is what I said after New Years. I dont know this was basically me rambling about my own problems, but I hope everything works out, and us people her at SO are here for you

And as for you - you do sound like a textbook binge drinker. That can end up to full blown alcoholism. Thankfully, you're realizing it hopefully in time before it becomes too tough to quit.
When I was a teen, I found myself taking shots before heading into school in the mornings. I also would drink WAY over the limit I should have just to appear cool to my friends. Luckily by the time I was legal age, I stopped doing that stuff cold turkey. Now I'm able to have a couple of social drinks and leave it at that.
The same with your brother - I hope he comes to his senses and quits smoking before it becomes a life-long addiction like mine. The earlier you can quit all addictive substances, the better!

[Belair]

Sorry to hear about that alaskaboy,but remember anything can be overcome,the human spirit is stronger than anything that happens to it.
I clicked on Clean and Sober because I'm feeling s***house this morning after a big night.I've never had as much alcohol in my life as I did last night.I cant say I didn't enjoy it though.Anyway this morning I feel like Ive been hit by a semi trailer repeatedly.

[CollegeDropout]

Originally Posted by Fresh Princess of Belair

Sorry to hear about that alaskaboy,but remember anything can be overcome,the human spirit is stronger than anything that happens to it.
I clicked on Clean and Sober because I'm feeling s***house this morning after a big night.I've never had as much alcohol in my life as I did last night.I cant say I didn't enjoy it though.Anyway this morning I feel like Ive been hit by a semi trailer repeatedly.

seriously, I visited my future college last night, and I've never had that much alcohal in my life at one time, because there is a big difference between college and HS, that in HS you have friends who tell you when to stop drinking and make sure that you are alright, but in college it is more of a personal responsibility and like my friend told me "its good that you found this out now, instead of next year" and she is absolutley correct but anyways woke up and threw up 5/6 times and just now am I starting to feel better

[Kay Scarpetta]

Sounds like we all had bad nights last night... I went to a 19th birthday party and drank until I passed out. Then I woke up, puked, and passed out all over the driveway again. I didn't know where I was, who I was, anything. They wanted to take me to the ER to get my stomach pumped because I wasn't staying awake, but everyone was too drunk to drive... I drank 3/4 a bottle of Parrot Bay, 1/4 a bottle of Apple Bicardi, 8 shots of vodka and 3 shots of brandy. I've never drank that much in my life.

Alcohol really isn't that great. I woke up this morning and wanted to die. I hate putting the people around me through this. I'm just lucky I have a tolerable mother who really loves me... I feel like such a ****up sometimes.

[vienna waits]

Originally Posted by Kay Scarpetta

Sounds like we all had bad nights last night... I went to a 19th birthday party and drank until I passed out. Then I woke up, puked, and passed out all over the driveway again. I didn't know where I was, who I was, anything. They wanted to take me to the ER to get my stomach pumped because I wasn't staying awake, but everyone was too drunk to drive... I drank 3/4 a bottle of Parrot Bay, 1/4 a bottle of Apple Bicardi, 8 shots of vodka and 3 shots of brandy. I've never drank that much in my life.

Alcohol really isn't that great. I woke up this morning and wanted to die. I hate putting the people around me through this. I'm just lucky I have a tolerable mother who really loves me... I feel like such a ****up sometimes.

I read your away message last night about how you were going out to drink and honestly, I don't know if I buy that you ****ed up. I'm afraid that you're just using that as another excuse to keep doing what you're doing. I know you already get help and all and I don't wanna be preachy.. but I'm worried about you.

[Kay Scarpetta]

Originally Posted by Idol Fanatic

I read your away message last night about how you were going out to drink and honestly, I don't know if I buy that you ****ed up. I'm afraid that you're just using that as another excuse to keep doing what you're doing. I know you already get help and all and I don't wanna be preachy.. but I'm worried about you.

Keep doing what I'm doing? With the exception of last night, I haven't gotten 'drunk' since New Years Eve. My meds have been helping me a lot, but once in a while I just have a bad day and unfortunately yesterday was one of them. I'm not using it as an 'excuse', and you don't have to buy it... frankly, I really don't give a damn if you do or you don't. We can't all be perfect like you.

And on a side note, my away message wasn't about going out and drinking. I said "if I don't die first" because I have a really bad cold and didn't feel like going out in the first place.

[vienna waits]

Originally Posted by Kay Scarpetta

Keep doing what I'm doing? With the exception of last night, I haven't gotten 'drunk' since New Years Eve. My meds have been helping me a lot, but once in a while I just have a bad day and unfortunately yesterday was one of them. I'm not using it as an 'excuse', and you don't have to buy it... frankly, I really don't give a damn if you do or you don't. We can't all be perfect like you.

And on a side note, my away message wasn't about going out and drinking. I said "if I don't die first" because I have a really bad cold and didn't feel like going out in the first place.

If you don't want people to care then stop announcing it on SO. I'm not going to sit back and say nothing if a 15 year old talks about all the alcohol they drink.. and not for social pleasure.. but to get rid of pain.

[Kay Scarpetta]

Originally Posted by Idol Fanatic

If you don't want people to care then stop announcing it on SO. I'm not going to sit back and say nothing if a 15 year old talks about all the alcohol they drink.. and not for social pleasure.. but to get rid of pain.

I never said I didn't want people to care. What I was implying was that you have no right to insinuate that I keep digging myself more into a hole. You've got no idea what's going on in my head. Contrary to many's beliefs, I'm not stupid. My actions may be stupid, but I certainly am not. I know I have bad days, and I know there are other ways to release anger, but I'm trying. I've finally managed to pull myself away from all of the other absurd things I've done in the past and now I'm trying to pull myself away from alcohol, but can't climb a rope without slipping.

[vienna waits]

Originally Posted by Kay Scarpetta

I never said I didn't want people to care. What I was implying was that you have no right to insinuate that I keep digging myself more into a hole. You've got no idea what's going on in my head. Contrary to many's beliefs, I'm not stupid. My actions may be stupid, but I certainly am not. I know I have bad days, and I know there are other ways to release anger, but I'm trying. I've finally managed to pull myself away from all of the other absurd things I've done in the past and now I'm trying to pull myself away from alcohol, but can't climb a rope without slipping.

ok i understand.. but you went to that party sober.. did you have no idea what you would end up doing?