If cars ran like computers... - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Chocoholic · 04-07-2005, 07:36 PM

>For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
>computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo
>(COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the
>auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the
>computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000
>miles to the gallon."
>
>In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
>stating:
>
>If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars
>with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):
>
>1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
>
>2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a
> new car.
>
>3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
> have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off
> the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some
> reason you would simply accept this.
>
>4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
> car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
> reinstall the engine.
>
>5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
> five times! as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five
> percent of the roads.
>
>6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
> replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning
> light.
>
>7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
>
>8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
> refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
> turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna
>
>9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how
> to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
> manner as the old car.
>
>10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

bandito · 04-07-2005, 08:20 PM

TJL · 04-07-2005, 08:34 PM

Very funny.

Were have you been hiding Sideshow Kristen?

Steve M. · 04-07-2005, 09:33 PM

What do you mean, if cars ran like computers? My car has a onboard computer system that went haywire and caused my "CHECK ENGINE" light to go on and shut down the keyless entry sensor system in the driver's-side door! It cost me over a thousand bucks to have it fixed!!

Dude111 · 12-20-2025, 10:30 PM

I dont like these newer cars that you hear all these noises,etc........

Its all scary...... Who may be watching you IN YOUR CAR?? (Especially if its a rental)

Im sick of all these gadgets people have!!

This guy comes and takes me out 2 times a week and all I hear is constant beeping from his device,etc.........

GET ME THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS GARBAGE!!

04-07-2005, 07:36 PM	#1
Chocoholic Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 01, 2000 Location: Between a rock and a hard place. Posts: 11,235	If cars ran like computers... >For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way >computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo >(COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the >auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the >computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 >miles to the gallon." > >In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release >stating: > >If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars >with the following characteristics (and I just love this part): > >1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. > >2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a > new car. > >3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would > have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off > the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some > reason you would simply accept this. > >4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your > car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to > reinstall the engine. > >5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, > five times! as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five > percent of the roads. > >6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be > replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning > light. > >7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying. > >8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and > refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, > turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna > >9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how > to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same > manner as the old car. > >10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

04-07-2005, 08:20 PM	#2
bandito Going Topless Forum Veteran Join Date: Sep 28, 2002 Location: The Steel City Posts: 6,320
	__________________ bandito

04-07-2005, 08:34 PM	#3
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	Very funny. Were have you been hiding Sideshow Kristen?
	__________________ "I think I'll stroll up to the front to see how the shooting's going..." - Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Read my blogs! http://centralparkamisguide.com/ http://dvdcriticscorner.com Visit me on Facebook!http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641138880 Hey, I do the tweet thing too! http://twitter.com/TomLevier My shop of handmade items! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations

04-07-2005, 09:33 PM	#4
Steve M. Back on the road to reality Forum Superstar Join Date: Nov 07, 2003 Location: New Jersey Posts: 33,307	What do you mean, if cars ran like computers? My car has a onboard computer system that went haywire and caused my "CHECK ENGINE" light to go on and shut down the keyless entry sensor system in the driver's-side door! It cost me over a thousand bucks to have it fixed!!
	__________________ I don't really get out a lot. When I do go out, I couldn't be happier. I love being in a nice milieu. I'm as happy as a clam. Just as long as I'm not in some club playing hip-hop. You hear that sort of thing in a lot of places. That's not my milieu. Rock and roll is good-time music. I love rock. So did my parents.

12-20-2025, 10:30 PM	#5
Dude111 Forum Legend Join Date: Nov 05, 2013 Posts: 36,653	I dont like these newer cars that you hear all these noises,etc........ Its all scary...... Who may be watching you IN YOUR CAR?? (Especially if its a rental) Im sick of all these gadgets people have!! This guy comes and takes me out 2 times a week and all I hear is constant beeping from his device,etc......... GET ME THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS GARBAGE!!