Funny stuff to brighten up your day

[Acting Girl 19]

If you want a laugh here are some good Golden Girls quotes

Rose worker song) Gonna stuff a chicken...
Other girls: Gonna stuff a chicken...
Rose: Like my momma taught me....
Other girls: Like my momma taught me....
Rose: Gonna send the chicken down Loiseana!
(sp?)


Blanch: Rose, I must be holosanating(sp?). I'm seeing little balls of sunshine in a bag
Rose: Blanch, those are egg yokes
Blanch: I'm so tired I need to rest, I shall never rest again!
(later)
Blanch: Rose, what is this? There are yellow eyeballs staring at me
Rose: Blanch, those are egg yokes

Rose: Back in St. Olaft
Dorothy: Rose, did it ever occer to you we are tired of hearing back in St. Oloft, back in St. Oloft, Back in St. Oloft?
Rose: Back in that place you don't want to hear....

Sophia: Its good luck to barry someone you hate.

[Osh]

Theres so many I love. Heres a FEW~
DOROTHY: (to blanche): I think its nice that your trying to quote the Bible. (to sophia): The only thing thats been in more hotel rooms than she has and she cant remember a word of it!

DOROTHY: Ma, dont do anything I wouldnt do.
SOPHIA: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.
DOROTHY: Aw...it seems like only yesterday I was putting her into the home.

ROSE: I'll put out the welcome mat.
DOROTHY: We dont have a welcome mat.
ROSE: What about the one you said is at the foot of Blanche's bed?

MAN: How much mileage has she got on her?
DOROTHY: (timeless expression, pause) Lets just say shes been around the block.
BLANCHE: Ok, Im ready, lets go for a spin.
MAN: Ohh, I cant believe anything that beautiful can be so cheap.
(Dorothy slaps hand over Sophias mouth)

Theres sooo many. I guess it just depends what episode I just saw! Theres some in every episode! I know after I send this I'll think of 10 more! Anyone elses favs?

[Georgia's on my Mind]

Here are my Favorites:

*After Dorothy goes on a blind date, set up by Sophia, with a Prisoner*

(Dorothy Enters)
Dorothy: Say GoodBye Old Women!

later...
Blance: It was...
Dorothy: (To Blance)Excuse me Blance I am trying to have a Heart-to-heart w/ my mother.
(To Sophia) Now listen up you Whithered Old Sicilian Monkey!
******************

Rose orothy What are you doing, Cooking?

Rose: No Rose I'm Develpoing Photo's From The Mallgean space walk.
**********************



------------------
"Your a fury Little gnome and we feed you too much" Dorothy to Sophia (Golden Girls)

"And that, Marjorie --- just so you will know --- and your children will someday know --- is the night the lights went out in Georgia! " Julia (Designing women)

"If you are looking for somebody to suck pearls, then I suggest you try finding yourself and oyster" Julia (Designing women)

"I can't beleive That these hands that reached into a chicken for a breech birth, are going to grace the ads of a penny Saver
-Rose
We've Come a long way Baby...
-Dorothy"

[moofomoo]

From the same one where the "sunshine in a bag" quote came is one of my favorites...

Blanche: "I cannot sleep...to sleep...perchance to dream... *gasps in shock* MY GOD, what a WONDERFUL LINE!"

Then there's the ones in my siggie.

**Gracie**

------------------
Delivery guy: "Blanche Deverux?"
Dorothy: "That's Devereaux...it's only pronounced the other way in limericks."
~~~~~~~~~~
Sophia: "Let me tell you girls the three most important things I learned about life: number one, hold fast to your friends; number two, there's no such thing as security; and number three, don't go see "Ishtar." Woof!"
~~~~~~~~~~
Dorothy: "You'll have to excuse my mother, she recently had a stroke rendering her totally annoying."
~~~~~~~~~~
Sophia: "Sticks and stones may brake your bones, but cement pays homage to tradition!"
~~~~~~~~~~
Sophia: "I think im pregnant."
Dorothy: "What happened, the rabbit died laughing?"
~~~~~~~~~~


Memorable Quotes from
"Golden Girls, The" (1985)

Page 11 of 17


Sophia: I need the money for my old age.
Dorothy: Old age? You don't leave fingerprints anymore!

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Dorothy: Oh c'mon, Blanche. Age is just a state of mind.
Blanche: Tell that to my thighs.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rose: My mother always used to say: "The older you get,the better you get, unless you're a banana."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dorothy: What are you trying to say, Rose? Weddings make you HOT?
Rose: Yes!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dorothy: Rose, I know this is a long shot, but did you take much acid during the sixties?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?
Sophia: Excuse me Rose, I haven't had sex in fifteen years and its starting to get on my nerves.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dorothy Zbornak: So you're five years older. So am I, so is Blanche. Alright, so you have a few more wrinkles. So do I, so does Blanche. OK, so you're a little thicker around the middle. So is Blanche.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dorothy Zbornak: Hi, ma. Where are you going?
Sophia Petrillo: To the boardwalk. I like to watch the old guys rearrange themselves when they come out of the water.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blanche Devereaux: He is so sophisticated and charming and rich and handsome. He fairly screams Blanche. At least he will when I'm through with him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sophia Petrillo: Jean is a lesbian.
Blanche Devereaux: What's so bad about that?
Sophia Petrillo: You're not surprised?!
Blanche Devereaux: Well I haven't known any personally but ain't Danny Thomas one?
Dorothy Zbornak: Not Lebanese, Blanche. Lesbian.

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Blanche Devereaux: I do love the rain so. It reminds me of my first kiss.
Dorothy Zbornak: Ah, you're first kiss was in the rain?
Blanche Devereaux: No it was in the shower.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blanche Devereaux: What do you think of my new dress? Is it me?
Sophia Petrillo: It's too tight, it's too short and shows too much cleavage for a woman your age.
Dorothy Zbornak: Yes, Blanche. It's you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Sophia enters kitchen]
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak Hollingsworth: You couldn't sleep either, huh?
Sophia Spirelli Petrillo Weinstock: No, I'm sleeping so good I thought I'd come try it in the sink.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Miles Webber: I'm a college professor, Rose. What did you think when I said I taught Hemingway?
Rose Lindstrom Nylund: I thought you were old.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blanche Hollingsworth Devereaux: We just rented that movie Aliens, it scared us half to death.
Sophia Spirelli Petrillo Weinstock: I found it scary too. That Sigourney Weaver is a sweet girl but she really shouldn't go without makeup.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak Hollingsworth: The woman keeps a chicken in her home, how normal can she be?
Rose Lindstrom Nylund: I kept a chicken in my home.
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak Hollingsworth: Do you see my point?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blanche Hollingsworth Devereaux: I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo!
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak Hollingsworth: That's pretty jumpy.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rose Lindstrom Nylund: Can I ask a dumb question?
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak Hollingsworth: Like no one else.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blanche Hollingsworth Devereaux: This is strictly off the record but Dirk is nearly five years younger than I am.
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak Hollingsworth: In what, Blanche, dog years?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blanche Hollingsworth Devereaux: I treat my body like a temple.
Sophia Spirelli Petrillo Weinstock: Yeah, open to everyone. Day or night.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blanche Hollingsworth Devereaux: He has dipped his toe in the lake known as "Blanche."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mr. Stanley 'Stan' Zbornak: Hello Sophia, you're looking younger every day.
Sophia Spirelli Petrillo Weinstock: Hi Stan, and that's a beautiful toupee you're wearing. Great, now we're both lying.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rose: "Now, I know no one wants to hear any of my stories right now..."
Dorothy: "That's always a safe bet, Rose."
Rose: "...but you need to hear about my cousin Ingmar. He was different. He used to do bird imitations."
Blanche: "Well, what's wrong with that?"
Rose: "Well, let's just say you wouldn't want to park your car under their oak tree."
~~~~~~~~~~

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rose: "Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?"
Sophia: "Excuse me Rose, I haven't had sex in fifteen years and its starting to get on my nerves."

[moofomoo]

Sorry bout that guys, I thought I cut and pasted LESS than I did! eeeeeeeeeek



Won't happen again, glad I fixed it.

**Gracie**

------------------
Delivery guy: "Blanche Deverux?"
Dorothy: "That's Devereaux...it's only pronounced the other way in limericks."
~~~~~~~~~~
Sophia: "Let me tell you girls the three most important things I learned about life: number one, hold fast to your friends; number two, there's no such thing as security; and number three, don't go see "Ishtar." Woof!"
~~~~~~~~~~
Dorothy: "You'll have to excuse my mother, she recently had a stroke rendering her totally annoying."
~~~~~~~~~~
Sophia: "Sticks and stones may brake your bones, but cement pays homage to tradition!"
~~~~~~~~~~
Sophia: "I think im pregnant."
Dorothy: "What happened, the rabbit died laughing?"
~~~~~~~~~~
Rose: "Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?"
Sophia: "Excuse me Rose, I haven't had sex in fifteen years and its starting to get on my nerves."

[Czas na Zywiec]

Hey, did you get all those quotes from IMBD.com? I recognize them from there.

------------------
Eric Matthews

[angel676]

Originally posted by fol and gi rock:
If you want a laugh here are some good Golden Girls quotes

Rose worker song) Gonna stuff a chicken...
Other girls: Gonna stuff a chicken...
Rose: Like my momma taught me....
Other girls: Like my momma taught me....
Rose: Gonna send the chicken down Loiseana!
(sp?)


Blanch: Rose, I must be holosanating(sp?). I'm seeing little balls of sunshine in a bag
Rose: Blanch, those are egg yokes
Blanch: I'm so tired I need to rest, I shall never rest again!
(later)
Blanch: Rose, what is this? There are yellow eyeballs staring at me
Rose: Blanch, those are egg yokes

Rose: Back in St. Olaft
Dorothy: Rose, did it ever occer to you we are tired of hearing back in St. Oloft, back in St. Oloft, Back in St. Oloft?
Rose: Back in that place you don't want to hear....

Sophia: Its good luck to barry someone you hate.

This is to the song, "Gonna stuff a chicken", on the very last verse, I could
have sworn it was, "Gonna send the chicken down to Mississippi".

[jayman75]

These are still too funny...