Favorite Fred Mertz line - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Sean50 · 03-24-2005, 09:17 PM

One of my favorites is when Ricky and Fred caught Lucy and Ethel in Eddie Grant's hotel room.

Ricky: Lucy, you, here, dressed in that. You must be out of your mind.

Fred: Ethel, you, here, dressed in that. He must be out of his mind.

Larry Surrell · 03-25-2005, 01:32 PM

My favorite Fred line is from the Monte Carlo episode when Ricky and Fred find the money in Ethel's suitcase.

Ricky - "Fred, I'm afraid I have caught you red handed."

Fred (making fun of Ricky's English) "You did not catch me red hannit. You Cuban mush mouth."

KristaLovesLucyJAtoo · 03-26-2005, 06:11 AM

I like....

Fred: Boy, I love dancing, but I haven't danced in so long I'm a little out of condition!
Ethel: A little out of condition!? He puffed so much it was like dancing with a steam engine.
Fred: Steam engines always puff when they're pushing a heavy load!

Fred- So you're thinkin' about gettin' Lucy a maid, huh? Ya know, that idea might be a good thing for us!
Ethel- Fred, you mean you're thinking about getting ME a maid?!?!?
Fred- No, I was thinking about hiring ya out to the Ricardo's!

Lucy- Husbands and wives should certainly find something to talk about!
Fred- Why????

Ricky- What do you know about rice?
Fred- "Well....it was thrown at me on the one of the darkest days of my life....

Ricky- Lucy due to have the baby any minute. Maybe now this very second!
Fred- Whats so unusual about that? You knew if would happen sooner or later....

Ethel- If I let my hair go like that, you'd never let me hear the end of it!
Fred- Honey Bunch, if the rest of you looked like that, I wouldn't care if you were bald!!!!

NostalgiaAce777 · 03-28-2005, 10:45 PM

Ricky:boy the stories about them [indians] would really make your blood cuddle.
Fred:Cuddle
Ricky:yeah Cuddle[showsFred book Blood curdling Indian tales
Fred:Oh Cuddle, I thought you meant like in the song Curdle up a little close.

Ricky: SHe better be on time tomorrow though we;re having dinner with the new buss
Fred: You're having dinner on a bus?
Ricky: No Mr. Little field, he bought The tropicana. we haveto impress him
Fred:Oh Buss I thought like what you meant what they have at the boss station

savy333 · 04-02-2005, 12:39 AM

Ethel: What would happen if I cried everytime I gained a pound?
Fred: We'd be up to our ears in tears!

Ethel (dressed up like a man): How'd you see through my disguise?
Fred: What disguise?

Ethel: It's been years since you put your arm around my waist.
Fred: It's been years since my arm could fit around your waist!

I love the back and forth between Fred and Ethel. ILL would be nothing without Vivian and William.... they are the backbone of the series.

savy333 · 04-02-2005, 12:40 AM

Ethel: Look at the salads!
Lucy: Look at the pastries!
Fred: Look at the prices!

MrWalters · 08-12-2005, 12:03 PM

One of my most favorite Fred Mertz lines comes from "Lucy Hates to Leave." He says, "Hello, Moby" while passing by the fish inside its tank on the way to Lucy's kitchen for hot mustard.

Edward

TV Girl 06 · 08-12-2005, 02:26 PM

Fred: Sometimes I feel like I was married to a garbage disposal.

Ricky: Listen, Fred, I have to see my French agent so today, you can take the day off.
Fred: A day off in Paris? Hot diggity!
Ethel: You are coming on a sight-seeing tour with Lucy and me.
Fred: Cold diggity.

Ethel (to Lucy): Oh, I don't know what I'll do with you gone for two months.
Fred: Well, atleast the kitchen door and your tongue'll both get a little rest!

Ireneparalegal · 08-14-2005, 11:14 PM

"I was waiting for Ethel to say Trick or Treat"

crazyredhead · 08-19-2005, 09:31 PM

Ethel- If I let my hair go like that, you'd never let me hear the end of it!
Fred- Honey Bunch, if the rest of you looked like that, I wouldn't care if you were bald!!!!

Ethel: Look at the salads!
Lucy: Look at the pastries!
Fred: Look at the prices!

Ricky- What do you know about rice?
Fred- "Well....it was thrown at me on the one of the darkest days of my life....

And...

Fred: Oh brother, if Ethel's trying to be glamorous she won't be ready for a week!

Ethel: Really honey, were you afraid you'd lose me?
Fred: I'll say. That outfit you're wearing is rented!

Fred: Well, let's just hope for the best.
Ricky: Dun't worry, Fred. She'll show up.
Fred: I said let's hope for the best.

Ricky: Maybe she has a sixth sense.
Fred: She might. She never had any before.

Ethel: Are you insinuating that I'm daft, loony, off my rocker, out of my head?
Fred: Well, that covers it pretty well.

Lucy: That must be my dear friend Ethel. Please, Fred, I'll open the door.
Fred: Open it? I was going to lock it!

Lucy: Oh, I'll hang it up for you, dear.
Ricky: I can do it, honey.
Lucy: No, no, no, honey. That's what wives are for.
Fred: Oh, so that's what they're for.

LOL!!!!

Opal · 08-24-2005, 03:37 PM

[At the Brown Derby in Hollywood]

Loudspeaker: Phone call for Mr. Cary Grant.
Lucy: Where?! Where?! I don’t see him!
Ethel: Oh, there he is!
Lucy: Awwwww
Loudspeaker: Phone call for Mr. Walter Pigeon.
Lucy: Where?! Where?! I don’t see him.
Fred: Will you two sit down! They probably want their privacy. They’re just people like you and me!
Loundspeaker: Phone call for Miss Lana Turner.
Fred: Where?! Where?!

Care Bear · 09-04-2005, 10:25 AM

These are great! Fred really makes for some great laughs.

Ireneparalegal · 09-06-2005, 01:18 AM

What makes him funny is we see him alot of the time as this grumpy old man and then he comes out with these hilarious lines!!!!!

Moondance · 09-10-2005, 03:20 PM

Fred Mertz: Let's just hope for the best.
Lucy Ricardo: Don't worry, Fred, Ethel'll come back.
Fred Mertz: I said let's hope for the BEST.

Ricky Ricardo: Lucy's actin' crazy.
Fred Mertz: Crazy for Lucy, or crazy for ordinary people?

Ethel Mertz: Gee, this high altitude sure gives me an appetite.
Fred Mertz: What's your excuse at sea level?

Ethel Mertz: Imagine me meeting a Queen face to face, I'm scared.
Fred Mertz: You're scared? Think of the Queen.

Ricky Ricardo: Fred, I've got an awful problem on my hands.
Fred Mertz: You should have thought about that before you married her.

Ricky Ricardo: Fred, how often is Ethel's checking account overdrawn?
Fred Mertz: Never.
Ricky Ricardo: Never? How do you manage that?
Ethel Mertz: It's easy. I never had enough money at one time to open a checking account.
Fred Mertz: She spends money like I'm printing it in the basement!

Ethel Mertz: Fred, I got a confession to make. Remember when we got married and I said I was 18. I lied. I was 19.
Fred Mertz: Well I got a confession to make too. You were 24.

Ethel Mertz: Fred, I'm sorry I said you were a dumb bunny.
Fred Mertz: And I'm sorry you're so fat you sat on my glasses and broke'em.

TheLandfordLunchBox · 09-12-2005, 06:09 PM

One of my faves

Ricky: What do you know about rice?
Fred Mertz: Well, I had it thrown at me on one of the darkest days in my life.

03-24-2005, 09:17 PM	#1
Sean50 Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Mar 17, 2005 Posts: 6	Favorite Fred Mertz line One of my favorites is when Ricky and Fred caught Lucy and Ethel in Eddie Grant's hotel room. Ricky: Lucy, you, here, dressed in that. You must be out of your mind. Fred: Ethel, you, here, dressed in that. He must be out of his mind.

03-26-2005, 06:11 AM	#3
KristaLovesLucyJAtoo Lucy Freak Forum Hawk Join Date: Mar 20, 2005 Location: Pennsylvania, USA Posts: 4	I like.... Fred: Boy, I love dancing, but I haven't danced in so long I'm a little out of condition! Ethel: A little out of condition!? He puffed so much it was like dancing with a steam engine. Fred: Steam engines always puff when they're pushing a heavy load! Fred- So you're thinkin' about gettin' Lucy a maid, huh? Ya know, that idea might be a good thing for us! Ethel- Fred, you mean you're thinking about getting ME a maid?!?!? Fred- No, I was thinking about hiring ya out to the Ricardo's! Lucy- Husbands and wives should certainly find something to talk about! Fred- Why???? Ricky- What do you know about rice? Fred- "Well....it was thrown at me on the one of the darkest days of my life.... Ricky- Lucy due to have the baby any minute. Maybe now this very second! Fred- Whats so unusual about that? You knew if would happen sooner or later.... Ethel- If I let my hair go like that, you'd never let me hear the end of it! Fred- Honey Bunch, if the rest of you looked like that, I wouldn't care if you were bald!!!!
	__________________ Ethel- I still say sue 'er, sue 'er! Lucy- Ohh, sewer, sewer, get your mind outta the gutter!

03-28-2005, 10:45 PM	#4
NostalgiaAce777 The Furmite Frequent Poster Join Date: Mar 23, 2004 Location: Long to be living Floridays, BlueSkies and Ultraviolet Rays, Lookin for Better Days Posts: 283	Ricky:boy the stories about them [indians] would really make your blood cuddle. Fred:Cuddle Ricky:yeah Cuddle[showsFred book Blood curdling Indian tales Fred:Oh Cuddle, I thought you meant like in the song Curdle up a little close. Ricky: SHe better be on time tomorrow though we;re having dinner with the new buss Fred: You're having dinner on a bus? Ricky: No Mr. Little field, he bought The tropicana. we haveto impress him Fred:Oh Buss I thought like what you meant what they have at the boss station
	__________________ If we weren't all crazy we would all go insane...Jimmy Buffett, Changes in Lattitudes Changes in Attitudes

04-02-2005, 12:39 AM	#5
savy333 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Nov 05, 2002 Posts: 221	Ethel: What would happen if I cried everytime I gained a pound? Fred: We'd be up to our ears in tears! Ethel (dressed up like a man): How'd you see through my disguise? Fred: What disguise? Ethel: It's been years since you put your arm around my waist. Fred: It's been years since my arm could fit around your waist! I love the back and forth between Fred and Ethel. ILL would be nothing without Vivian and William.... they are the backbone of the series.
	__________________ -Chris

08-12-2005, 02:26 PM	#8
TV Girl 06 That's Me!!! Occasional Poster Join Date: Jul 10, 2005 Location: New York Posts: 63	Fred: Sometimes I feel like I was married to a garbage disposal. Ricky: Listen, Fred, I have to see my French agent so today, you can take the day off. Fred: A day off in Paris? Hot diggity! Ethel: You are coming on a sight-seeing tour with Lucy and me. Fred: Cold diggity. Ethel (to Lucy): Oh, I don't know what I'll do with you gone for two months. Fred: Well, atleast the kitchen door and your tongue'll both get a little rest!
	Last edited by TV Girl 06; 08-15-2005 at 03:55 PM.

03-25-2005, 01:32 PM	#2
Larry Surrell Ed M. 1918-2006 RIP Forum Regular Join Date: Dec 27, 2003 Location: Thousand Oaks, CA Posts: 702	My favorite Fred line is from the Monte Carlo episode when Ricky and Fred find the money in Ethel's suitcase. Ricky - "Fred, I'm afraid I have caught you red handed." Fred (making fun of Ricky's English) "You did not catch me red hannit. You Cuban mush mouth."

04-02-2005, 12:40 AM	#6
savy333 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Nov 05, 2002 Posts: 221	Ethel: Look at the salads! Lucy: Look at the pastries! Fred: Look at the prices!

08-12-2005, 12:03 PM	#7
MrWalters Member Forum Cub Join Date: Aug 12, 2005 Posts: 2	One of my most favorite Fred Mertz lines comes from "Lucy Hates to Leave." He says, "Hello, Moby" while passing by the fish inside its tank on the way to Lucy's kitchen for hot mustard. Edward

08-14-2005, 11:14 PM	#9
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,691	"I was waiting for Ethel to say Trick or Treat"

08-19-2005, 09:31 PM	#10
crazyredhead Seniorita Forum Regular Join Date: Aug 13, 2003 Location: DIZZY LAND Posts: 715	Ethel- If I let my hair go like that, you'd never let me hear the end of it! Fred- Honey Bunch, if the rest of you looked like that, I wouldn't care if you were bald!!!! Ethel: Look at the salads! Lucy: Look at the pastries! Fred: Look at the prices! Ricky- What do you know about rice? Fred- "Well....it was thrown at me on the one of the darkest days of my life.... And... Fred: Oh brother, if Ethel's trying to be glamorous she won't be ready for a week! Ethel: Really honey, were you afraid you'd lose me? Fred: I'll say. That outfit you're wearing is rented! Fred: Well, let's just hope for the best. Ricky: Dun't worry, Fred. She'll show up. Fred: I said let's hope for the best. Ricky: Maybe she has a sixth sense. Fred: She might. She never had any before. Ethel: Are you insinuating that I'm daft, loony, off my rocker, out of my head? Fred: Well, that covers it pretty well. Lucy: That must be my dear friend Ethel. Please, Fred, I'll open the door. Fred: Open it? I was going to lock it! Lucy: Oh, I'll hang it up for you, dear. Ricky: I can do it, honey. Lucy: No, no, no, honey. That's what wives are for. Fred: Oh, so that's what they're for. LOL!!!!
	__________________ *BEKAH* But uf coss I cahn spik purfuctly good Amurecun. Ethel: "Ring the bell." Fred: "What for?" Ethel: "They don't know we're comin up and people would like a little privacy." Fred: "These aren't people, they're Ricky & Lucy."

08-24-2005, 03:37 PM	#11
Opal Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Aug 13, 2004 Posts: 365	[At the Brown Derby in Hollywood] Loudspeaker: Phone call for Mr. Cary Grant. Lucy: Where?! Where?! I don’t see him! Ethel: Oh, there he is! Lucy: Awwwww Loudspeaker: Phone call for Mr. Walter Pigeon. Lucy: Where?! Where?! I don’t see him. Fred: Will you two sit down! They probably want their privacy. They’re just people like you and me! Loundspeaker: Phone call for Miss Lana Turner. Fred: Where?! Where?!

09-04-2005, 10:25 AM	#12
Care Bear Bamboozler Occasional Poster Join Date: Sep 02, 2005 Location: Seven Seas Posts: 55	These are great! Fred really makes for some great laughs.

09-06-2005, 01:18 AM	#13
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,691	What makes him funny is we see him alot of the time as this grumpy old man and then he comes out with these hilarious lines!!!!!

09-10-2005, 03:20 PM	#14
Moondance MCR Moderator Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 25, 2001 Posts: 4,008	Fred Mertz: Let's just hope for the best. Lucy Ricardo: Don't worry, Fred, Ethel'll come back. Fred Mertz: I said let's hope for the BEST. Ricky Ricardo: Lucy's actin' crazy. Fred Mertz: Crazy for Lucy, or crazy for ordinary people? Ethel Mertz: Gee, this high altitude sure gives me an appetite. Fred Mertz: What's your excuse at sea level? Ethel Mertz: Imagine me meeting a Queen face to face, I'm scared. Fred Mertz: You're scared? Think of the Queen. Ricky Ricardo: Fred, I've got an awful problem on my hands. Fred Mertz: You should have thought about that before you married her. Ricky Ricardo: Fred, how often is Ethel's checking account overdrawn? Fred Mertz: Never. Ricky Ricardo: Never? How do you manage that? Ethel Mertz: It's easy. I never had enough money at one time to open a checking account. Fred Mertz: She spends money like I'm printing it in the basement! Ethel Mertz: Fred, I got a confession to make. Remember when we got married and I said I was 18. I lied. I was 19. Fred Mertz: Well I got a confession to make too. You were 24. Ethel Mertz: Fred, I'm sorry I said you were a dumb bunny. Fred Mertz: And I'm sorry you're so fat you sat on my glasses and broke'em.

09-12-2005, 06:09 PM	#15
TheLandfordLunchBox Heath Ledger 1979-2008 Forum Regular Join Date: Apr 28, 2005 Location: At the Haunted Manion in Walt Disney World Posts: 668	One of my faves Ricky: What do you know about rice? Fred Mertz: Well, I had it thrown at me on one of the darkest days in my life.