Tips for all Yankees moving to the South - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Brent88 · 03-19-2005, 09:53 AM

1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.

2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba." You have a 75% chance of being right.

3. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

4. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

5. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.

6. Do not buy food at the movie store.

7. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.

8. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.

9. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a Southern accent, unless it is a Southerner imitating a Boston accent.

10. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?

11. People walk slower here.

12. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.

13. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'." as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy." Eighty-five percent begin their new Southern-influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.

14. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

15. Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here.

16. If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.

17. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.

18. Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.

19. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.

20. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.

21. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store – it is just something you're supposed to do.

22. Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one it is to be positioned directly in front of your trailer. This is logical bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the trailer and should, therefore, be displayed.

23. Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer.

24. Florida is not considered a southern state. There are far more Yankees than southerners living there.

25. In Southern churches you will here the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor." You will also here expressions such as, "Laud, have mercy." "Good Laud," and "Laudy, Laudy, Laudy."

26. As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for the vehicle.

27. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees, and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.

TJL · 03-19-2005, 10:38 AM

Number 9 Dream · 03-19-2005, 12:03 PM

Hehehehe, I found that highly amusing

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 03-19-2005, 12:30 PM

heh

Superstar · 03-19-2005, 12:40 PM

*MIBabe03* · 03-19-2005, 03:34 PM

What's sad is that some of those are true. Numbers 3,8,9,10,14,18, and 21 are all true.

Dutabi84 · 03-19-2005, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desperate_Fan03

What's sad is that some of those are true. Numbers 3,8,9,10,14,18, and 21 are all true.

Haha, yep.

There's a huge difference when you move from north to south, and though some of these are exaggerated, they aren't far off!

*MIBabe03* · 03-19-2005, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dutabi84

Haha, yep.

There's a huge difference when you move from north to south, and though some of these are exaggerated, they aren't far off!

I agree. We moved from Michigan to Texas when I was nine years old, and people always made fun of me for having a "northern" accent. I still say words like "pop" and "you guys."

Janice · 03-19-2005, 04:11 PM

Kay Scarpetta · 03-19-2005, 04:29 PM

I want to live in the south!

Hollow · 03-19-2005, 04:36 PM

god damn i hate jokes like that. a very small portion of the south is actually like that, it's a major stereotype. i've only known a few people with accents and theyre all old ladies from texas.

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 03-19-2005, 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dutabi84

Haha, yep.

There's a huge difference when you move from north to south, and though some of these are exaggerated, they aren't far off!

We have our own south right in New York. I swear, you take two steps into the town and you think you'd traveled cross country.

Dutabi84 · 03-19-2005, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desperate_Fan03

I agree. We moved from Michigan to Texas when I was nine years old, and people always made fun of me for having a "northern" accent. I still say words like "pop" and "you guys."

Yep, I moved all the way from northern Minnesota to Austin, TX just a couple years ago. I refuse to ever say "ya'll" or "soda." It will always be "pop" for me!

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 03-19-2005, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dutabi84

Yep, I moved all the way from northern Minnesota to Austin, TX just a couple years ago. I refuse to ever say "ya'll" or "soda." It will always be "pop" for me!

I live in NY and we call it soda.

Chelsea · 03-19-2005, 06:52 PM

Having lived "down here" for quite sometime [Southern KY *IS* part of The South, if you don't believe me - spend some time here...The lower half of the state might as well be called North Tennessee], I have NEVER heard it called "soda" by anyone natively from here - except me [I've gradually worked on phasing out the southern accent/dialect in the last year]...I've always heard it called either "pop" or "coke". (Yes, there are people who say they want a coke even when they're talking about Pepsi).

Say, I think it's time for the semi-annual poll....

03-19-2005, 09:53 AM	#1
Brent88 Member Forum Star Join Date: Aug 01, 2003 Location: Alabama Posts: 16,174	Tips for all Yankees moving to the South 1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it. 2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba." You have a 75% chance of being right. 3. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows. 4. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. 5. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. 6. Do not buy food at the movie store. 7. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating. 8. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive. 9. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a Southern accent, unless it is a Southerner imitating a Boston accent. 10. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you? 11. People walk slower here. 12. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either. 13. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'." as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy." Eighty-five percent begin their new Southern-influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it. 14. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper. 15. Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here. 16. If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down. 17. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say. 18. Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased. 19. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers. 20. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November. 21. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store – it is just something you're supposed to do. 22. Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one it is to be positioned directly in front of your trailer. This is logical bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the trailer and should, therefore, be displayed. 23. Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer. 24. Florida is not considered a southern state. There are far more Yankees than southerners living there. 25. In Southern churches you will here the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor." You will also here expressions such as, "Laud, have mercy." "Good Laud," and "Laudy, Laudy, Laudy." 26. As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for the vehicle. 27. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees, and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.
	__________________ Brent

03-19-2005, 10:38 AM	#2
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588
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03-19-2005, 12:03 PM	#3
Number 9 Dream That '70s Girl Forum Veteran Join Date: Jan 18, 2005 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 5,875	Hehehehe, I found that highly amusing
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03-19-2005, 12:30 PM	#4
Pleasant Tomorrow Member Forum Addict Join Date: Feb 19, 2003 Location: New York Posts: 69,525	heh
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03-19-2005, 03:34 PM	#6
MIBabe03 Loving Swingtown! Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 28, 2002 Location: TX Posts: 4,646	What's sad is that some of those are true. Numbers 3,8,9,10,14,18, and 21 are all true.
	__________________ Laura and Mario November 10, 2006

03-19-2005, 12:40 PM	#5
Superstar Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 08, 2003 Posts: 63,316

03-19-2005, 04:11 PM	#9
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388

03-19-2005, 04:29 PM	#10
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	I want to live in the south!
	__________________ The people who think they know everything about Broadway make me laugh. They've never seen a Broadway play in their life. "oh mi godddd RENT's a mooovie! lyke 525600 minuuuuuuutes!" No. To be a Broadway Freak, you must live, eat, sleep, study, devout, think, obsess, dream, believe Broadway. You must know original & revival casts, soundtracks, performance runs, dates, theatres, numbers, how many Tony Awards A Chorus Line won. You must be Broadway. That's right bitches. I AM Broadway.

03-19-2005, 04:36 PM	#11
Hollow Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Dec 16, 2001 Posts: 30,406	god damn i hate jokes like that. a very small portion of the south is actually like that, it's a major stereotype. i've only known a few people with accents and theyre all old ladies from texas.

03-19-2005, 06:52 PM	#15
Chelsea Semi-retired Forum Veteran Join Date: Jan 07, 2001 Location: Washington Posts: 5,727	Having lived "down here" for quite sometime [Southern KY IS part of The South, if you don't believe me - spend some time here...The lower half of the state might as well be called North Tennessee], I have NEVER heard it called "soda" by anyone natively from here - except me [I've gradually worked on phasing out the southern accent/dialect in the last year]...I've always heard it called either "pop" or "coke". (Yes, there are people who say they want a coke even when they're talking about Pepsi). Say, I think it's time for the semi-annual poll....
	__________________ Chelsea Former Administrator, 2005-2012 Former Member, DVD Review Team, 2004-2010.