Ordering a Pizza in 2008 - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Kazza · 03-09-2005, 01:13 AM

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?"

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."

Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Email address is sheehan@home.net which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."

Customer: "The HSS, what is that?"

Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "What! What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn also."

Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday"

Customer: Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2006, conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here on September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge." "Oh yes I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut."

M82A1 · 03-09-2005, 02:10 AM

That was great!

crystals · 03-09-2005, 02:17 AM

That was funny.

I sent this to my cousin who is on an assignment in Geneva. Something to do with a zoonotic disease or virus. Anyway, he said in Geneva if a person wants a pizza with pepperoni, they have to order it with salami. Apparently there's no French word for pepperoni.

Mr. Television · 03-09-2005, 02:38 AM

That was good.

Belair · 03-09-2005, 04:53 AM

the scary thing is,that could happen!

Small Wonderian · 03-09-2005, 10:38 AM

Wow.

Superstar · 03-09-2005, 02:31 PM

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 03-09-2005, 04:15 PM

MsOrange · 03-09-2005, 04:17 PM

lol

Kay Scarpetta · 03-09-2005, 05:35 PM

oh man

theshark8777 · 03-09-2005, 05:54 PM

Everyone thinks thats funny, but its where we are heading.

dawsongirl · 03-10-2005, 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theshark8777

Everyone thinks thats funny, but its where we are heading.

Totally. But it's funny now.

Karen* · 03-10-2005, 02:18 AM

Holy crap, that was awesome! A little scary if that really happens though...

Belair · 03-10-2005, 04:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dawsongirl

Totally. But it's funny now.

TRUE TRUE! Everthing's funny when its not happening to "you".

TheHappyBurgerMeister · 03-10-2005, 04:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theshark8777

Everyone thinks thats funny, but its where we are heading.

totally. When I read that I wasn't sure if it's supposed to be a joke or what. I was confused for the most part!

03-09-2005, 01:13 AM	#1
Kazza Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 17, 2003 Posts: 3,244	Ordering a Pizza in 2008 Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?" Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order." Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?" Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610." Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Email address is sheehan@home.net which number are you calling from, sir?" Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?" Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir." Customer: "The HSS, what is that?" Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time" Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas." Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir." Customer: "Whaddya mean?" Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice." Customer: "What! What do you recommend, then?" Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it." Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?" Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion." Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then." Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99." Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number." Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit." Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here." Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn also." Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?" Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward." Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?" Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday" Customer: Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!" Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2006, conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here on September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge." "Oh yes I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society? Customer: (Speechless) Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?" Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke." Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut."

03-09-2005, 02:17 AM	#3
crystals Member Senior Member Join Date: Feb 02, 2004 Location: Canada Posts: 1,829	That was funny. I sent this to my cousin who is on an assignment in Geneva. Something to do with a zoonotic disease or virus. Anyway, he said in Geneva if a person wants a pizza with pepperoni, they have to order it with salami. Apparently there's no French word for pepperoni.
	__________________ The man who lends a helping hand is the true hero. Last edited by crystals; 03-10-2005 at 12:16 AM.

03-09-2005, 02:38 AM	#4
Mr. Television 23 Years at Sitcoms Online Forum Icon Join Date: Jun 06, 2003 Location: Somewhere you're Not Posts: 62,132	That was good.
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03-09-2005, 04:53 AM	#5
Belair Back@SO&Loveit! Forum Veteran Join Date: Dec 13, 2004 Location: New York City Posts: 5,925	the scary thing is,that could happen!
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03-09-2005, 10:38 AM	#6
Small Wonderian Back From a Long Hiatus Forum Celebrity Join Date: May 23, 2003 Location: in Redskin Country!!!!!!! Posts: 20,316	Wow.
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03-09-2005, 02:10 AM	#2
M82A1 S.e.l.f B.a.n.n.e.d Senior Member Join Date: May 18, 2003 Posts: 2,581	That was great!

03-09-2005, 02:31 PM	#7
Superstar Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 08, 2003 Posts: 63,316

03-09-2005, 04:15 PM	#8
Pleasant Tomorrow Member Forum Addict Join Date: Feb 19, 2003 Location: New York Posts: 69,525
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03-09-2005, 04:17 PM	#9
MsOrange Bringin' Sexy Back Forum Veteran Join Date: Dec 27, 2004 Posts: 6,133	lol

03-09-2005, 05:35 PM	#10
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	oh man
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03-09-2005, 05:54 PM	#11
theshark8777 Hats for Bats Forum Veteran Join Date: Jan 23, 2001 Location: northeast Ohio. Posts: 5,315	Everyone thinks thats funny, but its where we are heading.
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03-10-2005, 02:18 AM	#13
Karen* paradox. Forum Superstar Join Date: Jan 08, 2005 Location: San Francisco, CA Posts: 28,365	Holy crap, that was awesome! A little scary if that really happens though...
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