Things To Ponder

[CliffClavin]

I got this in my email:

Can you cry under water?


How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?


Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?


Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?


Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?


Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


What disease did cured ham actually have?


How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?


If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?


If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?


Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?


Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.


If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?



Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet
soup?


Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,"I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"


Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?


When your photo is taken for your driver's license,why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?


If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?


Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool
lane?


If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,why can't he fix a hole in a boat?


Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?


Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!


What do you call male ballerinas?


Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?


If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?


If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?


If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a
mouse?


Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?


Why did you just try singing the two songs above?


Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?


Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

[dawsongirl]

Originally Posted by CliffClavin

I got this in my email:
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Yes. mwahahaha

[Kay Scarpetta]

I've seen that before, and I laugh everytime. Especially when I started singing the two songs.

[dawsongirl]

Originally Posted by CliffClavin

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

cuz hemorrhoid is a latin word. Dr's say so.

[Hollow]

these things irritate me. therefore, i shall answer them.

- Can you cry under water? yes.
- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? the term "assassinated" is usually used when the case was political.
- If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? money doesn't physically grow on them. however, MONEY DOES GROW ON TREES! Money = paper. paper = trees.
- Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? it isn't just used for standard shaped sandwiches.
- Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? there's no relation.
- Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? not if you don't want to.
- Why does a round pizza come in a square box? boxes are usually square.
- What disease did cured ham actually have? none.
- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? no one cared enough about the luggage to bother with it yet.
- Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? they still sleep a lot, but whoever uses that term isn't apparently thinking about it.
- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? yes.
- If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you? probably not.
- Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? we've just adapted different terms for them.
- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? it's amusing how close you can see things from way up there.
- How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? that's how they're organized.
- Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. it's still more comfortable for some people.
- If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? another operator
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? yes.
- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,"I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" adam
- Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? that's an overgeneralization
- Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? so the light doesn't warm the contents in the freezer
- When your photo is taken for your driver's license,why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling? just so the picture will look nice.
- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? to express it.
- Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? yes.
- If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,why can't he fix a hole in a boat? that was a real radio.
- Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? BECAUSE IT'S HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE.
- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! different kinds of dogs.
What do you call male ballerinas? ballet dancers.
- Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? if they became blind after birth, they can only visually dream about what they've seen. if they were born blind, their dreams only have sound and no image.
- If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? he wanted the roadrunner.
- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? the terms aren't necessarily used the same way, as far as the adjectives.
- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? no, there's no common "mor-" prefix used in those words.
- Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? mickey mouse doesn't exist. so no.
- Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? duh.
- Why did you just try singing the two songs above? i noticed they had the same tune years ago.
- Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? the prefixes don't refer to "ass" or "hemisphere".
- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? it's different.

[dawsongirl]

Originally Posted by safety pin

- Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? they still sleep a lot, but whoever uses that term isn't apparently thinking about it.

Plus when babies sleep, they usually sleep really good, hence what the saying means.

[Belair]

That was a good read.I haven't got much to say since its just too much to ponder

[AllIWantIsYourClutch]

There's a light in my freezer.

[Kay Scarpetta]

Originally Posted by AllIWantIsYourClutch

There's a light in my freezer.

Yeah, mine too lol. I think newer 'fridgerators were made with lights in the freezers.

[Cherry Lips]

Originally Posted by CliffClavin

Can you cry under water?

Of course.

Originally Posted by CliffClavin

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

They are totally different.

Originally Posted by CliffClavin

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

I've never seen round sandwich meat.

Originally Posted by CliffClavin

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

I don't believe in heaven.

Originally Posted by CliffClavin

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Easier to make.

Originally Posted by CliffClavin

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

I got bored.

[David]

I love these things. Made me think.

[*Pleasant Tomorrow*]

Originally Posted by Kay Scarpetta

I've seen that before, and I laugh everytime. Especially when I started singing the two songs.

ahaha I did that, too.

[Hollow]

Originally Posted by Cherry Lips

I got bored.

Feel no shame! Those lists are annoying and answering the questions is THE thing to do.

[*Pleasant Tomorrow*]

Originally Posted by safety pin

Feel no shame! Those lists are annoying and answering the questions is THE thing to do.

She's right about the box thing. Who the hell is going to make a round box? I shant. I ain't making no round box. Make me make a round box and I'll ef you up the right way.

[Hollow]

Originally Posted by *Pleasant Tomorrow*

She's right about the box thing. Who the hell is going to make a round box? I shant. I ain't making no round box. Make me make a round box and I'll ef you up the right way.

for real! same for the sandwich meat. like it even makes it any more or less convenient what shape it is. g33z, people ponder over the dumbest, most insignificant things!