The 2004 Hawkeye Awards - Part One! - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

TJL · 12-27-2004, 08:35 PM

From the James A. McDivitt Elementary School Auditorium in Old Bridge New Jersey, it's the 2004 Hawkeye Awards!

Cue the band...

The Official 2004 Hawkeye Awards Theme Song

“We’re Giving You A Hawkeye”
(To the tune of “We Didn’t Start The Fire” by Billy Joel)

Colin Farell, Beyonce, Jessica and Nick Lachey
Desperate Housewives, Linsey Lohan - is her chest for real

Dr. Vegas, Affleck jilted, voter fraud and Paris Hilton
Mary Kate is way too skinny, give that girl a meal

Donald Rumsfeld, J-Lo, Jim Carrey and Carl Rove
Britney Spears got married twice and The Passion Of The Christ

Kiera Knightly, ODB, Fifty Cent and R Kelly
Dr. Phil he won't stop yapping Tony Randall goodbye

We're giving you a "Hawkeye"
If your films were way dull
and your songs were painful
We're giving you a "Hawkeye"
If your acts of crassness
Entertained the masses

Kirstie Alley, deadly sars, Martha's still behind bars
Whitney Houston, Avril Lavinge, Nanny 911

Usher, basketbrawl, Mary Kay Letourneau
Still no news on when the war is done

FOX News, Hillary, Janet flashed for all to see
Bridget Nielsen Flava Flav, Osama's hiding in some cave

BALCO steroid tests, Bill O'Reilly's phone sex,
Rathergate, Timberlake, Who the hell is Kayne West?

We're giving you a "Hawkeye"
If you blamed your drummer
for your lip synch blunder
We're Giving you a "Hawkeye"
If your acts of crassness
Entertained the masses

Listen Up, Halie Duff, Elton John is in a huff
Nicky Hilton - Vegas Bride, and Father Of The Pride

Rescue Me, Tara Reid, Kobe Bryant's dirty deeds
Kerry says that Bush must go, count the votes in Ohio
Jon Stewart, Prince is back, Artest gives some fan a whack
Donald Trump, O.C., vote or die with P. Diddy

Brokaw, leaves his gig, Carrie chooses Mr. Big
Howard Dean goes psycho Peterson's on death row

We're giving you a "Hawkeye"
If you made us savor
all your rude behavior
We're giving you a "Hawkeye"
If your acts of crassness
entertained the masses

Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fey, Oprah gives some cars away
Taxi, Kill Bill, someone Super Size Me

Liza sued by David Guest, Raising Helen made us wretch
Who’s your daddy, Red Sox win the World Series

Jude Law, Simon Rex, One Tree Hill kids having sex
William Hung, go away! What else do I have to say!

We’re giving you a Hawkeye
If your clothes were tacky
and your quotes were wacky
We’re giving you a Hawkeye
If your acts of crassness
entertained the masses

Peter Jackson oscar win, Courtney Love in court again
Mischa Barton, Nicolette Sheriden
Gwen Stefani solo chick, Whole Ten Yards just made us sick
Saddam Hussein in a cell, save a place for him in Hell

Benefactor, Hawaii, shows that made us hate TV
CNN, UPN, Swan, Troy, Catwoman
Protest rallies, screaming hoards, fighting at the Vibe Awards
Not to mention Michael Moore, Adios 2004!

We’re giving you a “Hawkeye”
If your acts of crassness
Entertained the masses
We’re giving you a “Hawkeye”
Till the drinks are gone
This award show’s on and on and on….

We’re giving you a “Hawkeye”

The 2004 Hawkeye Awards will be return in a moment...

¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ · 12-27-2004, 09:47 PM

Cactus Jack · 12-27-2004, 09:58 PM

I love it!!!!!! Submit it to amIright

Ambear · 12-27-2004, 10:12 PM

Janet McFarland · 12-27-2004, 11:28 PM

snl75 · 12-27-2004, 11:38 PM

that was really funny

dawsongirl · 12-28-2004, 12:03 AM

OMG...that was hilarious.

Pitooey · 12-28-2004, 12:02 PM

Brittney deserves 2 Hawkeyes...

Ewan's My Man · 12-28-2004, 01:36 PM

Oh man, that was priceless...that was great

spunkygirl · 12-28-2004, 01:36 PM

That's great TJL

Janice · 12-28-2004, 04:39 PM

Great stuff TJL. As usual, your humor never disappoints. Can't wait for the next installment.

Will you get a job as a comedy writer already.

*MIBabe03* · 12-28-2004, 04:45 PM

Awesome job!

Fleet · 12-29-2004, 01:50 AM

Well, that pretty much sums up this year!
Good job, TJL.

12-27-2004, 08:35 PM	#1
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	The 2004 Hawkeye Awards - Part One! From the James A. McDivitt Elementary School Auditorium in Old Bridge New Jersey, it's the 2004 Hawkeye Awards! Cue the band... The Official 2004 Hawkeye Awards Theme Song “We’re Giving You A Hawkeye” (To the tune of “We Didn’t Start The Fire” by Billy Joel) Colin Farell, Beyonce, Jessica and Nick Lachey Desperate Housewives, Linsey Lohan - is her chest for real Dr. Vegas, Affleck jilted, voter fraud and Paris Hilton Mary Kate is way too skinny, give that girl a meal Donald Rumsfeld, J-Lo, Jim Carrey and Carl Rove Britney Spears got married twice and The Passion Of The Christ Kiera Knightly, ODB, Fifty Cent and R Kelly Dr. Phil he won't stop yapping Tony Randall goodbye We're giving you a "Hawkeye" If your films were way dull and your songs were painful We're giving you a "Hawkeye" If your acts of crassness Entertained the masses Kirstie Alley, deadly sars, Martha's still behind bars Whitney Houston, Avril Lavinge, Nanny 911 Usher, basketbrawl, Mary Kay Letourneau Still no news on when the war is done FOX News, Hillary, Janet flashed for all to see Bridget Nielsen Flava Flav, Osama's hiding in some cave BALCO steroid tests, Bill O'Reilly's phone sex, Rathergate, Timberlake, Who the hell is Kayne West? We're giving you a "Hawkeye" If you blamed your drummer for your lip synch blunder We're Giving you a "Hawkeye" If your acts of crassness Entertained the masses Listen Up, Halie Duff, Elton John is in a huff Nicky Hilton - Vegas Bride, and Father Of The Pride Rescue Me, Tara Reid, Kobe Bryant's dirty deeds Kerry says that Bush must go, count the votes in Ohio Jon Stewart, Prince is back, Artest gives some fan a whack Donald Trump, O.C., vote or die with P. Diddy Brokaw, leaves his gig, Carrie chooses Mr. Big Howard Dean goes psycho Peterson's on death row We're giving you a "Hawkeye" If you made us savor all your rude behavior We're giving you a "Hawkeye" If your acts of crassness entertained the masses Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fey, Oprah gives some cars away Taxi, Kill Bill, someone Super Size Me Liza sued by David Guest, Raising Helen made us wretch Who’s your daddy, Red Sox win the World Series Jude Law, Simon Rex, One Tree Hill kids having sex William Hung, go away! What else do I have to say! We’re giving you a Hawkeye If your clothes were tacky and your quotes were wacky We’re giving you a Hawkeye If your acts of crassness entertained the masses Peter Jackson oscar win, Courtney Love in court again Mischa Barton, Nicolette Sheriden Gwen Stefani solo chick, Whole Ten Yards just made us sick Saddam Hussein in a cell, save a place for him in Hell Benefactor, Hawaii, shows that made us hate TV CNN, UPN, Swan, Troy, Catwoman Protest rallies, screaming hoards, fighting at the Vibe Awards Not to mention Michael Moore, Adios 2004! We’re giving you a “Hawkeye” If your acts of crassness Entertained the masses We’re giving you a “Hawkeye” Till the drinks are gone This award show’s on and on and on…. We’re giving you a “Hawkeye” The 2004 Hawkeye Awards will be return in a moment...
	__________________ "I think I'll stroll up to the front to see how the shooting's going..." - Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Read my blogs! http://centralparkamisguide.com/ http://dvdcriticscorner.com Visit me on Facebook!http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641138880 Hey, I do the tweet thing too! http://twitter.com/TomLevier My shop of handmade items! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations

12-27-2004, 09:47 PM	#2
¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ MISS APRIL Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 19, 2001 Location: Parsonsfield ME Shaws - Screwing my way up the employment ladder! Posts: 68,780
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12-27-2004, 09:58 PM	#3
Cactus Jack RonFingSwanson Forum Idol Join Date: Dec 09, 2001 Location: Santa Rosa Beach,FL Posts: 103,099	I love it!!!!!! Submit it to amIright
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12-28-2004, 12:02 PM	#8
Pitooey Member Forum Star Join Date: Feb 15, 2001 Location: Rocking in Transylvania. Posts: 15,042	Brittney deserves 2 Hawkeyes...
	__________________ Pitooey... AKA JennyLee - I love the Monkees all over again! *SAY NO TO DRUGS* Jesus saves...

12-28-2004, 01:36 PM	#9
Ewan's My Man I'll Cover You Forum Veteran Join Date: Sep 29, 2001 Location: Beneath the opera house... Posts: 5,682	Oh man, that was priceless...that was great
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12-27-2004, 10:12 PM	#4
Ambear ☮We All Shine On☮ Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 04, 2004 Location: Somewhere Over The Rainbow Posts: 4,781

12-27-2004, 11:28 PM	#5
Janet McFarland Member Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 09, 2004 Posts: 4,344

12-27-2004, 11:38 PM	#6
snl75 Member Senior Member Join Date: Aug 25, 2004 Location: in the formen basement watching snl Posts: 1,377	that was really funny

12-28-2004, 12:03 AM	#7
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	OMG...that was hilarious.

12-28-2004, 01:36 PM	#10
spunkygirl Member Moderator Forum Celebrity Join Date: Apr 26, 2003 Posts: 21,563	That's great TJL

12-28-2004, 04:39 PM	#11
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	Great stuff TJL. As usual, your humor never disappoints. Can't wait for the next installment. Will you get a job as a comedy writer already. Attached Images

12-28-2004, 04:45 PM	#12
MIBabe03 Loving Swingtown! Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 28, 2002 Location: TX Posts: 4,646	Awesome job!
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12-29-2004, 01:50 AM	#13
Fleet Mansions, limousines & H-ween Forum Star Join Date: Jan 06, 2002 Location: Northridge/Porter Ranch, California Posts: 15,625	Well, that pretty much sums up this year! Good job, TJL.
	__________________ 1976 Cadillac Fleetwood Seventy-Five Limousine.