Lost Your Spirit?

[Chad22]

Has anyone else ever lost all of their spirit?

Thats what seemed to have happened to me tonight. I've been depressed before, But never this bad. Usually I Just watch Some TV Or something and eventually get over it within minutes...But for the past 3 hours or so i have felt nothing but pain.

I've always screwed up stuff and failed at things, I Have the attention span of an ant and can't follow instructions if my life depended on it, I Did poorly in school, I Did poorly in Sports, I Can't even TALK To girls, I Have very few talents...And the few talents I DO Have seem worthless in almost every way other than entertaining Myself.

My Mom Doesnt help with any of this. Dont get me wrong, Shes a great Mom....She Loves me, Always did her best to take care of me and give me a good life. Yet when she gets the least bit angry, LOOKOUT. I'm Afraid to even try things out of fear of screwing up (And trust me...I ALWAYS Screw Up) And getting yelled at and made to feel like i'm worthless. She never actually says Things like that, She DOESN'T Verbally abuse me....But just the idea of getting yelled at for doing something wrong is enough.

Its not just her, Either. Its everything. I Still remember a time in Gym Class when i was younger when The teacher explained the rules of a game to us. EVERYONE In the class but me understood it, And when i attempted to play...I Did it totally wrong and made a complete fool of myself.

I Get this feeling of uselessness All of the time, And yet i ALWAYS Look on the bright side and tell myself that things are going to get better...But this time i'm not even sure if they are going to. I've waited long enough for things to get better.

How Am I Ever supposed to make it in the real world? Do I Even have a future worth living? Do I Even have a purpose in life?

I'm Not trying to make people feel sorry for me, But I Felt i had to let all of this out as that's the way i seem to handle things and its been building up for some time now. I Was also hoping that somebody might have some better advice than "Things will get better. Hang In There". I've heard all of the cliche advice...And it never helps. I Was hoping that maybe someone with similar experiences might give me some advice...Someone that actually KNOWS What I'm going through.

[Brian Damage]

Originally posted by Chad Lawrence Doody
Has anyone else ever lost all of their spirit?

Thats what seemed to have happened to me tonight. I've been depressed before, But never this bad. Usually I Just watch Some TV Or something and eventually get over it within minutes...But for the past 3 hours or so i have felt nothing but pain.

I've always screwed up stuff and failed at things, I Have the attention span of an ant and can't follow instructions if my life depended on it, I Did poorly in school, I Did poorly in Sports, I Can't even TALK To girls, I Have very few talents...And the few talents I DO Have seem worthless in almost every way other than entertaining Myself.

My Mom Doesnt help with any of this. Dont get me wrong, Shes a great Mom....She Loves me, Always did her best to take care of me and give me a good life. Yet when she gets the least bit angry, LOOKOUT. I'm Afraid to even try things out of fear of screwing up (And trust me...I ALWAYS Screw Up) And getting yelled at and made to feel like i'm worthless. She never actually says Things like that, She DOESN'T Verbally abuse me....But just the idea of getting yelled at for doing something wrong is enough.

Its not just her, Either. Its everything. I Still remember a time in Gym Class when i was younger when The teacher explained the rules of a game to us. EVERYONE In the class but me understood it, And when i attempted to play...I Did it totally wrong and made a complete fool of myself.

I Get this feeling of uselessness All of the time, And yet i ALWAYS Look on the bright side and tell myself that things are going to get better...But this time i'm not even sure if they are going to. I've waited long enough for things to get better.

How Am I Ever supposed to make it in the real world? Do I Even have a future worth living? Do I Even have a purpose in life?

I'm Not trying to make people feel sorry for me, But I Felt i had to let all of this out as that's the way i seem to handle things and its been building up for some time now. I Was also hoping that somebody might have some better advice than "Things will get better. Hang In There". I've heard all of the cliche advice...And it never helps. I Was hoping that maybe someone with similar experiences might give me some advice...Someone that actually KNOWS What I'm going through.

You sound exactly like me when I was younger. I was always a screw up. Things will get better I promise you. I put myself in the navy and wound up with a GI bill that put me through school that led me to a job I enjoy. There was a time where I was unemployed, with no girlfriend, no prospects of anything. I always screwed up. Former bosses use to complain that I was too slow, etc, etc. You just have to believe in yourself and take a risk or two. It worked for me and I'm quite happy.

[robyrob]

Chad - dont "wait until things get better", MAKE them better yourself; it is all too easy to feel down about yourself and give in to depression, you need to stop thinking about it and do something positive with the talents that you DO have.

I have read a lot of your stories, you ARE a talented, creative writer - focus on THOSE attributes and MAKE them work for you.

Have some confidence in yourself and stop giving in to self-defeat.

[Chad22]

Originally posted by Brian Damage
You sound exactly like me when I was younger. I was always a screw up. Things will get better I promise you. I put myself in the navy and wound up with a GI bill that put me through school that led me to a job I enjoy. There was a time where I was unemployed, with no girlfriend, no prospects of anything. I always screwed up. Former bosses use to complain that I was too slow, etc, etc. You just have to believe in yourself and take a risk or two. It worked for me and I'm quite happy.

Thanks. That actually makes me feel a bit better.

I Always appreciate when people give me advice, But its especially nice to hear it from someone that was in the same shoes. Glad everything got better for you, Man. Hope it does for me.

[Mr. Stefani]

you should go to college. its the only way you're going to do something with your life.

[Chad22]

Originally posted by Mr. Stefani
you should go to college. its the only way you're going to do something with your life.

I Would If I Had the Money or Grades to get in.

[Brian Damage]

Try community college and build up your grades and then transfer. That's what I did.

[Chad22]

Originally posted by Brian Damage
Try community college and build up your grades and then transfer. That's what I did.

Worth A Try, I Suppose. I'll check into it.

[Mr. Stefani]

Originally posted by Chad Lawrence Doody
I Would If I Had the Money or Grades to get in.

Community. A monkey can get in. You go for 2 years, work hard at it and get your grades up so you can move onto a better education. I'm not sure about community colleges but they might do fincial aid

[spunkygirl]

Originally posted by Chad Lawrence Doody
I Would If I Had the Money or Grades to get in.

Try looking into grants and things like that. I got a grant or I wouldn't have been able to go to college.

I was the same way in school, I had trouble understanding even the simplest directions, my teachers had to explain to me individually, boy that made me feel like a kid

Also, I constantly feel that way too. I'm always afraid to let people down, that I have to please them. You have no one to please but yourself Chad.

Like Roby said you are a very talented and creative writer, and you have an amazing sense of humor, all with which in this world will take you very far

[dawsongirl]

I'm afraid of screwing things up too. Not that I have a huge track record of it, but I hate failing and I hate being looked down upon like I'm stupid, so I set these high standards for myself and then I worry about screwing up and looking like a total fool. I just got a job (miracle of all miracles!), but truth be told, I'm more worried that I won't understand what I'm supposed to do, and I'll screw it up. I should be happy, but I'm worried instead. Damn anxiety problem.

I think a lot of people probably feel the way you do. We all set ourselves on a pedestal but we naturally have faults and there's no way we'll stay up there. All you can do is just try. Easier said than done, I know.

[dawsongirl]

Originally posted by Mr. Stefani
you should go to college. its the only way you're going to do something with your life.

Or trade school. How about like some of those study at home courses? I mean, I have a BA...it literally got me nowhere (English Lit degrees are next to worthless unless you want to teach), but now I'm taking a class thru PCDI (maybe you've seen the commercials) and it's more specialized, you don't have to go to class, and you can take you time learning the material. And then you can go get a job in that field. Better than spending 4+ years in college when 2 of those years are a rehash of HS.

[dawsongirl]

Originally posted by Mr. Stefani
Community. A monkey can get in. You go for 2 years, work hard at it and get your grades up so you can move onto a better education. I'm not sure about community colleges but they might do fincial aid

I think the one around here does.

[Lady T]

Originally posted by dawsongirl
I'm afraid of screwing things up too. Not that I have a huge track record of it, but I hate failing and I hate being looked down upon like I'm stupid, so I set these high standards for myself and then I worry about screwing up and looking like a total fool. I just got a job (miracle of all miracles!), but truth be told, I'm more worried that I won't understand what I'm supposed to do, and I'll screw it up. I should be happy, but I'm worried instead. Damn anxiety problem.

I think a lot of people probably feel the way you do. We all set ourselves on a pedestal but we naturally have faults and there's no way we'll stay up there. All you can do is just try. Easier said than done, I know.

Congratulations on your new job

[*MIBabe03*]

Originally posted by Brian Damage
Try community college and build up your grades and then transfer. That's what I did.

Yep. That's what I'm doing right now. I chose to do it that way because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and I didn't want to waste my parents money trying to figure it out. I have a pretty good idea what I want to do now. Believe me I know exactly how you feel Chad. I feel like that constantly. I've recently started seeing a therapist, and once I started talking to her I realized that I've been depressed for a very long time. It's just a suggestion, but maybe you should talk to a therapist or a counselor.