Dorothy's sarcastic responses

[dynoguy88]

Let's see how many of them we can list. They were always hilliarious! Here's a few off the top of my head.


TRUBY: My husband passed last summer.
ROSE: Passed what?
DOROTHY: A Winnebago, Rose.

SOPHIA: Was that a plumber?
DOROTHY: No, Ma. It was a little girl selling Girl Scout toilets.

DOROTHY: I have a date tonight.
BLANCHE: With a man?
DOROTHY: No Blanche, with a Venus flytrap.

DOROTHY: Psst! Where’s Ma?
ROSE: Who?
DOROTHY: Ma! Where's Ma?
ROSE: In the cemetery in St. Olaf. Why do you ask?
DOROTHY: Because I thought we would all go out and toilet paper the Weston’s house.

DOROTHY: Stan and I stopped having marital relations. I completely cut off his sex.
ROSE: You mean it grows back?
DOROTHY: Yes, Rose. He’s a lizard.


DOROTHY: The most romantic thing that ever happened to me was when Stan proposed. He took me to a very expensive restaurant. I went to the powder room and when I returned there was an open bottle of don par ion and two long stem glasses. Stan gave me a coy smile, I winked at him, we clinked the glasses, and downed the Champaign in one gulp…. And it didn’t go down smoothly. Later, Stan had told me that he put the engagement ring in the bottom on the bottle. It turned up 3 days later.
ROSE: Where did it turn up Dorothy?
DOROTHY: On the home shopping network, Rose.

[Joker85]

what episode is the one about them toilet papering the Weston's house from? that's the only one of those I don't remember.

[dynoguy88]

Originally posted by Joker85
what episode is the one about them toilet papering the Weston's house from? that's the only one of those I don't remember.

That was from the episode where Dorothy snuck back in the house after a date with Stan and she didn't want Sophia to hear. Rose actually took her seriously and mentioned that they need to be quiet because Dyrfuss will bark and Barbara carries a gun.

A few more great Dorothy responses -

BLANCHE: By the way, did you girls know that the size of a man’s ears is directly portionate to the size of his other body organs.
ROSE: What do you mean?
DOROTHY: He had a big floppy pancreas, Rose.

DOROTHY: Blanche Are you sure you're pregnant?
BLANCHE: I just did a home pregnancy test - it's right here.
ROSE: It looks like a perfume sample
DOROTHY: Put it behind your ears Rose.

DOROTHY: The only thing me and Eddie have in common is under the sheets.
ROSE: What's under the sheets?
DOROTHY: His capuccino maker.

BLANCHE (to Dorothy after she comes home from a date in an evening dress): Dorothy Zbornak, are you just getting in?
DOROTHY: No, Blanche. I got up early and went jogging in a park with a really strict dress code.

BLANCHE: It's not just a full moon, Dorothy. It's a leap year's full moon! All your dreams can happen if you just belive! All you have to do is believe!
DOROTHY, (clapping): Oh, I do believe! I do believe in sluts!

BLANCHE: Since when do you care how you look?
DOROTHY: I think it started when I came down from the belltower and had my hump fixed.

BLANCHE: Look at the shameless way she's flirting with him. Disgusting!
ROSE: You flirted with him.
BLANCHE: I'm from the South. Flirting is part of my heritage.
ROSE: What do you mean?
DOROTHY: Her mother was a slut too.

BLANCHE: This is strictly off the record but Dirk is nearly five years younger than I am.
DOROTHY: In what, Blanche, dog years?

BLANCHE: Well, I have heard enough! No Devereaux has ever had to go to a bank for sperm. I certainly haven't!
DOROTHY (to the doctor): She's always relied on the kindness of strangers.

DOROTHY: Why don't we show Mr. Vaughn around the theatre.
BLANCHE: Well, why don't I show you around, since I have had the most experience performing here.
DOROTHY: The parking lot doesn't count Blanche.

BLANCHE: One thing I know is I haven't lost my hour glass figure
DOROTHY: But it looks like someone poured about 90 minutes extra sand into it

ROSE: You...you...you rude person!
DOROTHY: Go easy on him, Rose.

ROSE: I don't understand.
DOROTHY: You should have that printed on a t-shirt.

DOROTHY: I think you should take it back. (a private detective to follow Miles)
BLANCHE: I can't..I paid in advance.
DOROTHY: Can't you get a refund?
BLANCHE: No, I payed with nature's credit card.
DOROTHY: You never leave home without it.

SOPHIA: My hiney's asleep.
DOROTHY: Fine,we'll keep our voices down.

[LETTERL]

Rose and Dorothy try to move a toilet but they can't get it to budge.

ROSE: If the Egyptians could build the pyramids, we can move this toilet.

DOROTHY: Fine. Get me 20,000 Hebrews and I'll have it moved in no time.

[PrettyinPink55]

Gotta love Dorothy's sarcastic phrases!!!!!

[GCW]

Dorothy: I finally meet a nice man and it turns out he has a more serious engagement
Rose: To Who?
Dorothy: PAM DAWBER!

Dorothy - Oh it is really coming down (rain)
Rose - Whats coming down?
Dorothy - The Libermarque (sp?) at Caesar's palace.

Dorothy - You know how many cheesecakes we have eaten in this kitchen?
Rose - No exactly how many?
Dorothy - 147 ROSE!