Charkony Christmas Parade

[Moonlight Lady]

Charkony Christmas Parade

By Katie

Cast

Everyone...Themselves


It's 6am, Christmas Eve Morning in New York City. Chad walks up the subway stairs and meets the rest of the gang at the starting point of their parade.

Chad: This is great. I always wanted to do a Christmas parade here.

TF: And we're it! This will be the best parade in the history of Christmas.

Katie: Are you sure you guys wanna do this? It's really windy

Lucas: Why am I here? I should be at home sleeping.

Angela: What've you got against parades?

Lucas: Fine!

Jack: Can I ride on a float singing parodies?

Roby: If he gets to sing, Glitchee and I get to host it.

Katie: Grand Marshalls?

Roby: Okay fine, Glitchee can be Marshall and of course, I'll be grand.

Chad: Hey, this parade was my idea, I'm the Grand Marshall. Don't steal my thunder.

Katie: What about me, I wanna be grand marshall too.

TF: Look, we can't all be grand marshalls, who's gonna ride the floats and wave to people. We need people to handle the balloons.

EFD comes running up to them along with a top hat.

EFD: I thought there would be a problem with the role of Grand Marshall and that's why I brought this hat.

Katie: Oh I get it, we'll all pull jobs written on paper out of a hat.

EFD: Noooo...not quite, seeing as how it's my hat, that makes me grand marshall.

Chad: Wrong on both counts. A. It's my hat cause I lent it to you last week B. My idea, my hat...

Zuzzy: If you guys are gonna keep this up i'm going home.

Angela: Yeah me too, I didn't wake up early for this.

[I}An older man with gray hair and a mustache along with a younger man in his late 20's with short hair and a goatee.[/I]

Young Man: We're your Grand Marshalls!
Older Man: Hey zip it!

[I}Everyone whips around to see Williams Daniels and Will Friedle standing before them. Chad tries to find his words as everyone stares blankly. [/I]

Chad: Hey, Thanks for doing this Mr. Daniels, Mr. Friedle.

Will: You're welcome and call me Will.

Mr. Daniels: You're also very welcome, you can call me Mr. Daniels.

Chad: *clears throat* Very well then. Guys i'll be right back i'm taking Will and Mr. Daniels to where they're supposed to be.

Gang: No problem.

By now, everyone has their assigned jobs and are hard at work. The air is growing colder and the wind is starting to pick up. A few snowflakes fall from the sky and magic fills the air. Well, no, not really it was just the large breakfast that was consumed by Roby and Glitchee.

Chad: *getting out of a limo, followed by TF* Wow, everything looks great guys. Now lets...*sniffs and makes a face* Aw! TF! Man what have you been eating! Isn't there enough pollution in New York City without you adding to it?

TF: Have I ever told you how funny you are?

Chad: *flattered* Why no, I don't believe you have.

TF: ...And I never will. Okay, that float over there needs more helium. Otheriwise, Mrs. Doubtfire's left balloon could take out a small crowd.

Jack: *proudly* Who else would have floats like these. *fills Doubtfire with more helium*

Katie: Certainly nobody cooler than us.

Roby: Yeah, that's it.

The gang finishes up their last minute tasks and are now ready to start the parade. Grand Marshall's William Daniels and Will Friedle are getting ready to leave when Chad spots them.

Chad: Hey were are you guys going? The parade's about to start.

William Daniels: *looks at watch* Mr. Doody, we've been sitting here in an artic freeze for over two hours. We're tired and hungry. We're leaving, goodbye.

Will Friedle: Look Chad, I'm sorry, but, maybe you should have organized things a little better. Have a nice Christmas man.

They get in a limo and disappear around the corner.

Chad: Great, now I don't have anybody to announce the parade. Oh look, there's Howard Hesseman, maybe he'll do it.
Scuse me, Mr. Hesseman, would you be one of my parade announcers?

Hesseman: Thanks, I'd love to, but, I'm already riding on a float in your parade with that sexy beast over there. *points to Katie*

Katie: Thanks, I'm the beauty and you're the beast.

Hesseman: Thanks, that's what my wife calls me.

Roby: She's right, you know.

Katie: Step off! He's mine!

Chad: Could we please stop this, you're making me sick.

TF: Yeah, c'mon everyone, it's getting late.

Roby: Okay, Glitchee and I will be the announcers and Chad and TF are the Grand Marshalls.

Everyone: Finally!

They line up the floats and balloons and start the parade.

****************************************************
The Parade Starts

Roby: Merry Christmas and welcome to The Charkony Christmas Parade, here on TVLand.

Glitchee: Puurrrrr *licks paw*

Roby: That's right Glitchee, I couldn't have said it better myself. I'd like to introduce our Grand Marshall, A man who put this thing together, a groovy individual with a far out, dynamite personality, Chad Doody and these guys.

TF and EFD: Oh geez thanks for the intro.

Roby: Stop clowning around and get on a float!

They do as he says

Chad: Anyway, It's great to be here, I have good feelings about this parade and everybody worked really hard to make it happen.

Glitchee: Mraw...fgdfrad dfafdrs *coughs up furball on Chad's shoe*

Chad: Thanks Glitch, but, I just ate.

Roby: Isn't that your float going by Chad?

Chad: *whips around* Oh No!! Bye!! *runs off* Wait for me!! I'm the cotton-pickin Grand Marshall!!!!

Roby: There's alot more where that came from, Chad's running for it, he leaps and makes it!.

You see Chad stand up and brush himself off. He grabs the top hat from EFD and puts it on. EFD snatches it off his head and wears it. The crowd cheers as the WWF Float goes by with EFD locked in a full nelson by Chad who's waving at the crowd.

Roby: Wow, that certainly was exciting, Don't worry, Nobody got hurt, it's all fake. *turns to see EFD with a bloody nose*
Isn't it amazing what they can do with stage makeup these days.

Glitchee: Mrawwww brrrrlp

Roby: My son glitchee says this next float is his favorite, It's MacGyver, and our pal T.F. Storm is fixing it with duct tape and a banana.

T.F., wearing a tux, stands up and waves to some drunks who think he's really Richard Dean Anderson, He throws his duct tape out into the crowd, unfortunately, it hits Adam Sandler in the head. Sandler jumps on the float and starts a sissy fight with TF and loses, but agrees to forget about it if he can ride on the float and sing his Hanuhkah songs.

Roby: Wow, The celebrities are really coming out of the woodwork and wanting to be involved in this.

The Wind picks up and snow starts falling.

Roby: Well, all I can say is, I hope they have enough people..Oh wait they don't it's anybody's guess as to what
will happen next. I'm cold, Glitchee's bored, I'm going home, Happy Holidays everyone!

Angela: I said No Cream!!!!

Rurry: You call this a bagel!

Guy: Sorry, want me to go back and get the right food.

Rurry: No, just stand there like a fool and get paid to not do your job.

Guy: I don't work for you.

Rurrry: Alrighty then.

Rurry: Oh boy, looks like they're having trouble keep the floats in control in the wind.

Angela: Yeah, that Mrs. Doubtfire floats looks a little too low.

Rurry: Oh my god! Her left boob just took out that small crowd of people.

Angela: Oh the horror! I hope nobody's seriously injured.

Rurry: No, I think the ground broke their fall.

Angela: That's not a good thing. Anyway, coming around the corner is Godzilla in a Santa suit because there were no Santa floats available and nobody in that crew knows how to make float or sew.

Rurry: What a shame, ya hate to see that happen. Ah, A really nice Angel float is coming up.

An Angel float with Angels Christmas Trees heads down the street with Katie and Howard Hesseman riding on it waving
to people. In the back of the float, you can see a woman duct taped to a 2 x 4 and gagged.

Rurry: This is the weirdest parade i've ever been in.

Angela: Well technically, we're not really in the parade, we're just announcing it.

Rurry: What! That's it, I'm gonna jump on a float, they're not gonna cheat me!!

Angela: Wait for me!

Okay, no more surprise announcers, Sorry Mr. Vigoda. I'm sure Chad will understand.

Chad: What!!! Mr. Vigoda, i'm so sorry about this, how'd you like to come to my house for dinner.

Abe: Thanks Chad, that would be lovely.

EFD: Okay, Where's the next float?

Jack: We don't have anymore!

EFD: What!!! Well just throw something together and make it look good!

Jack: I can't work under that kind of pressure.

EFD: Then fake it. Just do something.

A strong gust of wind at about 65mph picks EFD up and swirls him down the street. The crowd cheers, thinking that it's special effects. Roby hides a remote control and snickers.

Jack: Sure, when there's work to be done, he disappears.

Jack and grabs people off the street and they all jump up on the float in Christmas hats. Somebody puts a bunch of Christmas trees and other holiday decorations on it and make a really awesome design that nobody can recognize. Jack jumps in the truck and starts hauling the thing down the street. Dragging left over balloons behind. The wind has picked up again and some balloons have escaped.

Chad: What the heck is Jack doing! Is he crazy?!

TF: You have to ask?

Jack: I heard that!

EFD: Hey guys, Um...is Rudoph supposed to be THAT close to the Empire State Building?

Chad: Don't worry, it's worse than it looks.

EFD and TF: Ohhhkay...

Another float comes down the street all wintery with KC Stormchaser, who's waving at people and Jim Carrey dressed in blue and white with a straw hat on and
he's singing:

I'm Mister White Christmas I'm Mister Snow
I'm Mister Icicle I'm Mister Ten Below
Friends call me Snow Miser, What ever I touch
Turns to snow in my clutch! I'm too much!
[Chorus] He's Mister White Christmas He's Mister Snow
[Snow Miser] That's right!
[Chorus] He's Mister Icicle He's Mister Ten Below [Snow Miser]
Friends call me Snow Miser, What ever I touch Turns to snow in my clutch
[Chorus] He's too much!

Roby: That was the ever talented Jim Carrey giving us a number
from his latest movie "The Miser Brothers"

Katie: And right behind him is the equally talented Jerry Stiller as his hot blooded brother The Heat Miser.

A float decorated in a summer theme follows the winter float with Beaver Fan tap dancing and
Jerry Stiller singing:

I'm Mister Green Christmas
I'm Mister Sun
I'm Mister Heat Blister
I'm Mister Hundred and One
They call me Heat Miser,
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
I'm too much!
He's Mister Green Christmas
He's Mister Sun
He's Mister Heat Blister
He's Mister Hundred and One
They call me Heat Miser,
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
He's too much!
Thank you!
I never want to see a day
That's under sixty degrees
I'd rather have it eighty,
Ninety, one hundred degrees!
(spoken)
Oh, some like it hot, but I like it
REALLY hot! Hee hee!

Roby: Well that was really a hot little number.

Katie: Wasn't it though. Say who's that coming down the street

Roby: You better not pout, you better not cry cause it's Good Ole Santa Claus and he looks just as jolly as ever.

Katie: And that's our cue.

Katie and Rob grab glitchee and jump onto the float and hand Chad the microphone.

Chad: It's been a great parade and I'd like to thank everyone for coming down here to see it and be in it.

TF: *takes mic from Chad* On behalf of myself and my brother BF, I'd like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and the happiest of New Years.

Everyone: MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!

It's later on in the day and every one is home with their families, unwrapping presents, drinking egg nog and enjoying Christmas dinner. Outside, the snow is gently falling making everything look like a Winter wonderland.

The End

Happy Holidays Everyone!

[Cactus Jack]

Aweomse job!

[Chad22]

LOL Great Job, Katie.

[EmoJoe]

Great job!

[Zuzzy]

[Stormtracker TF]

That was hilarious, awesome Job.

[robyrob]

Great job Katie !!

[Moonlight Lady]

Thanks, it was fun to write.