ANTI-CLAYNIACS only.!! behold the truth - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

jekouptown · 12-03-2004, 02:03 PM

I know Clay Aiken is a tired subject for jokes, but I'm not making any jokes today. This is a serious column about why everyone would be better off if Clay Aiken bought a rifle, loaded it, held the barrel securely against his temple, and pulled the trigger. I know the allegiance of most Aiken fans only grows stronger when people make jokes about him, which is why I'm taking a different approach, and being completely serious.

I'm not going to make gay jokes. I'm not going to try to get laughs by saying Aiken's singing sounds like someone raping a muppet. I'm not going to state the obvious: that if any of his fans had been in high school with him, they would have called him a loser and thrown rocks at his head like everyone else. No, I'm going to present facts, not assumptions. Since most pop music fans switch alliances from singer to singer more often than Ben Affleck adds hair plugs to his balding scalp, it shouldn't be too difficult to persuade them. So let's get started.

Fact 1: his song lyrics are creepy. Clay Aiken is a stalker and a pervert, and there's proof right in his hit song, "Measure of a Man". Observe:

If I were invisible,
then I could just watch you in your room.
Okay, so he wants to become invisible so he can sneak into some girl's room and watch her undress. A lot of us fellas fantasize about this same thing, but for God's sake, we aren't sick enough to write songs about it and present it as something serious. Have I ever written a column proclaiming my love for a girl, telling her I want to sneak into her room so I can ogle her like a peeping tom? No, because that's disturbing and wrong. Yet, for some reason, millions of women find Aiken's sick perversion attractive, and swoon after him for it. But it's in the next few lines where he really gets sick:

If I was invisible
I'd make you mine tonight.
So now he's moved on to full-fledged rape. He wants to become invisible so he can "make you mine". Obviously, if he's invisible, he can't "make her his" by impressing her or charming her. The only way will be through using his invisibility to outright attack her, and force her to get it on with him. It's a sickness, people. It's a rapist's cry for help in the form of a song.

Later in the song, Aiken repeats his wish to be invisible, and then says, "Wait, I already am." This is the point of the song where he realizes he doesn't need to be invisible to commit heinous acts of sexual violence. Obviously, Aiken is a very dangerous man. Is a joyful rapist the type of man ladies should swoon over? I think not.

Fact 2: Aiken only looks good if someone else dresses and styles him.You know how most girls look like total ass in the morning before they apply makeup? Clay Aiken is the same way, except he uses the fat wallet of The FOX Network to make himself look good. He looked like crap at first, but then he spent tons of FOX's money on expensive clothes, contact lenses, eyebrow coloring, professional hairstyling, and some hair coloring with highlights. So basically, he changed everything about himself. Only then did he look adequate enough to be a pseudo pop star.

Fact 3: Just because Aiken works with autistic kids doesn't mean he's a good person. I once dated a girl who worked at a rest home, taking care of ******** old people. Since she had a job that required a lot of patience, I assumed she was a good person. I was wrong. This girl was the biggest alcoholic I've ever met. Every night, she'd guzzle booze until she could barely speak, and then pass out on the couch. Her roommates hated her.

One time, at a get-together at the college house I was living in, she stumbled out onto the front lawn, dropped her pants, and took a piss in front of everyone. I'm not kidding. She told me to hold her beer, then walked outside and peed all over my lawn. While some of you fellas in the south may find that attractive, those of us who didn't grow up fornicating with our cross-eyed, bucktoothed cousins find it repulsive. So even though this girl spent time helping *******, she was still a drunken witch.

Likewise for Aiken, just because he works with autistic kids doesn't mean he's automatically sweet and charming, or a good person at all. As shown by my first fact, he's a sick pervert who would rather rape women than take the effort to talk to them and ask them out.

Please don't request his songs or buy his albums anymore. He's painful to watch, and incredibly annoying. If you're a person of religion, please join me and pray that during the lame-ass American Idol tour, Aiken will be sat on and smooshed to death by Ruben Studdard.

Czas na Zywiec · 12-03-2004, 02:04 PM

Hoo boy, it's a good thing Crystal is gone today.

vashti1999 · 12-03-2004, 02:19 PM

jekouptown, did you write that or did you get it from somewhere?

Dean Winchester · 12-03-2004, 02:26 PM

ummm, I am both an anti-Clayniac and an anti-Ruben, I refuse to support any artist associated with American Idol. But nevertheless, Invincible was a far catchier song than I'm Sorry.

Why not fans of the unknown rock band that beat Destiny's Child on Star Search all those years ago start a thread about how badly they hate and are jealous of Beyonce and DC for winding up 100 times more successful than the rock group who Star Search judges deemed more talented? That is about the same logic as you feeling the need to do anti-Clay threads because you don't like that he's eclipsed Ruben

jekouptown · 12-03-2004, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by vashti1999
jekouptown, did you write that or did you get it from somewhere?

got it from somewhere.

jekouptown · 12-03-2004, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Czas na Zywiec
Hoo boy, it's a good thing Crystal is gone today.

I don't really mean to offend anyone. Just bring up the other opinion. I'm a MET fan in a YANKEE town.

AllIWantIsYourClutch · 12-03-2004, 05:49 PM

Riiiiight. That's not even what the song means. People are stupid.

"I don't think people think that I'm actually watching somebody in their room. That's kind of nasty, and I don't encourage people watching other people in their room." - Clay Aiken

Hollow · 12-03-2004, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jekouptown
Fact 1: his song lyrics are creepy. Clay Aiken is a stalker and a pervert, and there's proof right in his hit song, "Measure of a Man".

Fact 2: Aiken only looks good if someone else dresses and styles him.

Fact 3: Just because Aiken works with autistic kids doesn't mean he's a good person.

"Behold the TRUTH! Here are the FACTS!"

None of those are even facts. You may think his lyrics are creepy, he only looks good if someone else dresses him, and he's not a good person because he helps autistic kids, (and i'm not saying you can't), but they are YOUR opinions. You can't prove them to be true. Your interpretation of "measure of a man" apparently is the result of a sick mind. That's OBVIOUSLY not what it's about.

this isn't even coming from a clayniac, however i talk to some of them, so i know quite a bit about him.

AllIWantIsYourClutch · 12-03-2004, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by safety pin
"Behold the TRUTH! Here are the FACTS!"

None of those are even facts. You may think his lyrics are creepy, he only looks good if someone else dresses him, and he's not a good person because he helps autistic kids, (and i'm not saying you can't), but they are YOUR opinions. You can't prove them to be true. Your interpretation of "measure of a man" apparently is the result of a sick mind. That's OBVIOUSLY not what it's about.

this isn't even coming from a clayniac, however i talk to some of them, so i know quite a bit about him.

Sarah is an honorary Claymate.

Dutabi84 · 12-03-2004, 06:49 PM

Here's his source, for what it's worth.

http://www.dailyramblings.com/ramblings/455.php

Kill him? If we were to kill every musician who sucked, there wouldn't even be a music section at Wal*Mart.

MaryElizabeth · 12-03-2004, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dutabi84
Here's his source, for what it's worth.

http://www.dailyramblings.com/ramblings/455.php

Kill him? If we were to kill every musician who sucked, there wouldn't even be a music section at Wal*Mart.

Oh, darn!

Hollow · 12-03-2004, 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AllIWantIsYourClutch
Sarah is an honorary Claymate.

¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ · 12-04-2004, 02:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Czas na Zywiec
Hoo boy, it's a good thing Crystal is gone today.

I would have been here, but I was in Rhode Island seeing Clay Aiken -.-

¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ · 12-04-2004, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BuffySlayer79
ummm, I am both an anti-Clayniac and an anti-Ruben, I refuse to support any artist associated with American Idol. But nevertheless, Invincible was a far catchier song than I'm Sorry.

May I ask why? Is it because theyre from a reality show and they didnt go through the 'struggles' as most starving artists have? Theyre no different than say the people from Star Search- they both came from TV shows, though AI was a better chance for them to be recognized. Though from just a show, you cant say that they are not talented.

Dean Winchester · 12-04-2004, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ¤I Love Clay Aiken¤
May I ask why? Is it because theyre from a reality show and they didnt go through the 'struggles' as most starving artists have? Theyre no different than say the people from Star Search- they both came from TV shows, though AI was a better chance for them to be recognized. Though from just a show, you cant say that they are not talented.

if you insist.

American Idol winners are treated as puppets, given zero ability to write songs and "express themselves", and I've heard that AI people make very little % of the money that they net. They're forced to wear what the manager tells them to wear, forced to sing what they're told to sing, etc.... there is absolutely no trace of artistic integrity in the package. I generally like artists who take charge and control of their careers.

I also think American Idol completely misinterprets the point of karaoke. When someone goes onstage in a bar and performs an old hit by (for instance) Barry Manilow, they are doing Copacabana to be having fun and to do what they wouldn't usually do. Simon doesn't realize that, he expects people to go and sing a played out standard with heart and emotion, except most singers can't get passionate for a song that they neither wrote, not did a songwriter write exclusively for them (like some people like Celine and Whitney are not songwriters, but many of their songs were written for them to sing). Karaoke is supposed to be fun, not serious, and AI completely misses the point.

Plus, I think AI misses the point, a good voice does help a lot, but I think vision and songwriting talent can overshadow a pretty voice anyday. AI is all about the voice. I know a lot of people who would rather listen to a Bob Dylan or a Bjork, people who might not have the best conventional voices, but their vision and talent completely overshadows it, to a Celine Dion type.

12-03-2004, 02:03 PM	#1
jekouptown Member Forum Regular Join Date: Apr 01, 2003 Location: welcome to NEW YORK CITY Posts: 844	ANTI-CLAYNIACS only.!! behold the truth I know Clay Aiken is a tired subject for jokes, but I'm not making any jokes today. This is a serious column about why everyone would be better off if Clay Aiken bought a rifle, loaded it, held the barrel securely against his temple, and pulled the trigger. I know the allegiance of most Aiken fans only grows stronger when people make jokes about him, which is why I'm taking a different approach, and being completely serious. I'm not going to make gay jokes. I'm not going to try to get laughs by saying Aiken's singing sounds like someone raping a muppet. I'm not going to state the obvious: that if any of his fans had been in high school with him, they would have called him a loser and thrown rocks at his head like everyone else. No, I'm going to present facts, not assumptions. Since most pop music fans switch alliances from singer to singer more often than Ben Affleck adds hair plugs to his balding scalp, it shouldn't be too difficult to persuade them. So let's get started. Fact 1: his song lyrics are creepy. Clay Aiken is a stalker and a pervert, and there's proof right in his hit song, "Measure of a Man". Observe: If I were invisible, then I could just watch you in your room. Okay, so he wants to become invisible so he can sneak into some girl's room and watch her undress. A lot of us fellas fantasize about this same thing, but for God's sake, we aren't sick enough to write songs about it and present it as something serious. Have I ever written a column proclaiming my love for a girl, telling her I want to sneak into her room so I can ogle her like a peeping tom? No, because that's disturbing and wrong. Yet, for some reason, millions of women find Aiken's sick perversion attractive, and swoon after him for it. But it's in the next few lines where he really gets sick: If I was invisible I'd make you mine tonight. So now he's moved on to full-fledged rape. He wants to become invisible so he can "make you mine". Obviously, if he's invisible, he can't "make her his" by impressing her or charming her. The only way will be through using his invisibility to outright attack her, and force her to get it on with him. It's a sickness, people. It's a rapist's cry for help in the form of a song. Later in the song, Aiken repeats his wish to be invisible, and then says, "Wait, I already am." This is the point of the song where he realizes he doesn't need to be invisible to commit heinous acts of sexual violence. Obviously, Aiken is a very dangerous man. Is a joyful rapist the type of man ladies should swoon over? I think not. Fact 2: Aiken only looks good if someone else dresses and styles him.You know how most girls look like total ass in the morning before they apply makeup? Clay Aiken is the same way, except he uses the fat wallet of The FOX Network to make himself look good. He looked like crap at first, but then he spent tons of FOX's money on expensive clothes, contact lenses, eyebrow coloring, professional hairstyling, and some hair coloring with highlights. So basically, he changed everything about himself. Only then did he look adequate enough to be a pseudo pop star. Fact 3: Just because Aiken works with autistic kids doesn't mean he's a good person. I once dated a girl who worked at a rest home, taking care of ****** old people. Since she had a job that required a lot of patience, I assumed she was a good person. I was wrong. This girl was the biggest alcoholic I've ever met. Every night, she'd guzzle booze until she could barely speak, and then pass out on the couch. Her roommates hated her. One time, at a get-together at the college house I was living in, she stumbled out onto the front lawn, dropped her pants, and took a piss in front of everyone. I'm not kidding. She told me to hold her beer, then walked outside and peed all over my lawn. While some of you fellas in the south may find that attractive, those of us who didn't grow up fornicating with our cross-eyed, bucktoothed cousins find it repulsive. So even though this girl spent time helping *****, she was still a drunken witch. Likewise for Aiken, just because he works with autistic kids doesn't mean he's automatically sweet and charming, or a good person at all. As shown by my first fact, he's a sick pervert who would rather rape women than take the effort to talk to them and ask them out. Please don't request his songs or buy his albums anymore. He's painful to watch, and incredibly annoying. If you're a person of religion, please join me and pray that during the lame-ass American Idol tour, Aiken will be sat on and smooshed to death by Ruben Studdard.
	__________________ We the people gotta get over before we go under.....

12-03-2004, 02:19 PM	#3
vashti1999 NY METS - #1 Forum Fanatic Join Date: Oct 14, 2003 Location: The world's greatest city - New York City Posts: 11,404	jekouptown, did you write that or did you get it from somewhere?
	__________________ .

12-03-2004, 02:04 PM	#2
Czas na Zywiec what up Forum Star Join Date: Jun 28, 2001 Location: Southwest Side, Chicago Posts: 18,398	Hoo boy, it's a good thing Crystal is gone today.

12-03-2004, 02:26 PM	#4
Dean Winchester Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 28, 2003 Location: Louisville KY Posts: 14,803	ummm, I am both an anti-Clayniac and an anti-Ruben, I refuse to support any artist associated with American Idol. But nevertheless, Invincible was a far catchier song than I'm Sorry. Why not fans of the unknown rock band that beat Destiny's Child on Star Search all those years ago start a thread about how badly they hate and are jealous of Beyonce and DC for winding up 100 times more successful than the rock group who Star Search judges deemed more talented? That is about the same logic as you feeling the need to do anti-Clay threads because you don't like that he's eclipsed Ruben

12-03-2004, 05:49 PM	#7
AllIWantIsYourClutch peaceout. Forum Icon Join Date: Aug 02, 2001 Location: Illinois. Posts: 53,424	Riiiiight. That's not even what the song means. People are stupid. "I don't think people think that I'm actually watching somebody in their room. That's kind of nasty, and I don't encourage people watching other people in their room." - Clay Aiken

12-03-2004, 06:49 PM	#10
Dutabi84 kittens must die Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 22, 2003 Location: MN/TX Posts: 11,026	Here's his source, for what it's worth. http://www.dailyramblings.com/ramblings/455.php Kill him? If we were to kill every musician who sucked, there wouldn't even be a music section at Wal*Mart.