Feel like I need to let this off...

[Atorasu]

Hello everyone. Some of you may remember me from over a year ago - I was just some guy that posted here a little bit and talked about my love for Kimberly Russell. There is something that I really feel like I should express...

In the summer of 2003 after graduating my Freshman year, I used to love to watch Nick at Nite every night after doing the usual summer day. I loved to watch shows like Cheers and Three's Company. Around 3am, I decided to try watching Perfect Strangers for once and didn't think much of it at first, but the show really started to grow on me. I started to always watch Perfect Strangers and it just made me feel so happy.

Now I was addicted to Perfect Strangers and loved it. I always noticed this other show after it called "Head of the Class". I really didn't think it was great when I first saw it and laughed at it a bit. But once again, things grew to me. I became addicted to the show along with Perfect Strangers and a character on that show really grabbed my attention - Sarah Nevins.

I don't know what it was about her when I watched it, but I thought she was disturbing at first. But this girl just kept attracting me more and more and I was relzing how much I adored her and was growing a mad crush for her. At the time I didn't think she was some hot chick or anything, but there was something strange about her that just kept luring me into her. I was really loving this character and kept finding her more and more beatiful. She didn't have a whole lot of lines on the show, but I always made sure to keep an open eye on her.

At this time, I was getting use to the terrible time slots these great shows got on Nick at Nite. I was surfing the net one night a couple hours before Perfect Strangers would be on and came across this Sitcoms Online board and was impressed at the variety of message boards it had for different shows. Well time went by and I eventually started posting on the Perfect Strangers and Head of the Class board as the name I am using now. It was nice to see other fans of these shows and that I wasn't the only one with a crush on a character from Head of the Class . I never posted a whole lot, but I posted every-so-often for a little while.

Summer was ending and school was around the corner. I was never a school person and just couldn't find myself to like it. Because of school comming up, I was forced to maintain good sleeping habbits of going to bed early. I would try setting my alarm to go off at 3am so I could watch my two favorite shows on Nick at Nite, but it was too hard to maintain, so I pretty much stopped trying.

Around September, I believe, a message was going around that Perfect Strangers and Head of the Class would be removed so Nick at Nite could add new shows. It was worst enough these shows had bad time slots, but now removing them? I might not ever be able to enjoy these shows again. I felt really bad after this and it appeared that I was posting less and less on these boards.

The summer of 2003 was the best time of my life. Everything felt so right; my cousin was on summer vacation and I would hang out with him and do the usual, I had no work to do and could relax, and after spending my usual day I could stay up until 3am to watch two shows that changed my life.

I also want to point out that in the early summer, I was messing around in chat rooms and came across a female user that I was trolling with and we were saying stuff for fun and all, and then started talking for fun for a short while. As silly and corny as this may sound, we were really starting to get to know each other and were like perfect people. We had extreme similarities and it felt like I should really go out and meet this woman.

We talked until the end of the summer online, but then for my own personal reason I decided to stop talking to her. And it was just because she wanted to know my phone number so she could call me, but I didn't want her to know because I would feel really shy with this around my family since I am a quiet person. If I was living by myself or something like that, sure I would talk to her over the phone. She also said she smoked and the idea of getting to know a smoker might not be good. I don't smoke and I don't think it would be good for me if she was smoking around me. I really felt like this was the girl of my life that I could marry and have children with, but I figured smoking wouldn't be a good thing for childen. I know that sounds really dumb, but I was serious about that.

By this time with this girl, I figured I had to stop talking to her. I was stupid enough to not tell her my feelings about this and so I just ignored her. A few weeks ago or so, I emailed her and it was the first time I ever tried contacting her in over a year. I told her everything; why I stopped talking to her, how I did the wrong thing, and how I still felt for her. Still no response, I just really hope she emails me again .

Back the topic here. Now summer is over. I'm back in school, Nick at Nite removes Perfect Strangers and Head of the Class, and I stoped talking to the girl of my dreams (well, next to Kimberly Russell ). I wasn't posting here much at all anymore and now I didn't have all the great stuff I did in the summer. I should also mention my cousin had to go back to college and my older brother was starting his first year of college also so I was left with my other brothers. I have a pretty good friendship with my older brother. I still had friends in school and all, but I felt a lot more comfortable with family friends.

My oldest brother worked a lot and wasn't home much because of it and I have two little brothers who I would talk to, but I was mainly alone and never talked to my parents much at all. By this time I was feeling depressed. A lot of entertaining parts of my life were sort of gone and I was alone a lot more. My typical day after school was just going on my computer and staying on there. Whenever I would think of the golden times in summer, I would just feel more depressed. I had to do something.

Things weren't completely bad, I just needed to find new habbits. I was never much of a music person at all before, so I somehow just naturally got into music a lot more. Around October, I really got into guitars and guitarists. Since my oldest brother had a couple guitars, I would play his while he was at work. I taught myself how to play by ear and now I have more musical abilities than I ever thought before.

Music really helped me out of the depression, but I would still feel really depressed thinking about that summer. I would try letting the past go by, but I would just feel the same way if I thought about it again. I'm a Junior in high school now so it's been over a year since that summer. I felt like I should post on this board again so I might be able to relive the good times some how. Seeing this board again is bringing back some of my memories. I'm not sure if I am feeling sad from this or happy.

I relize this topic is irrelevant and there are probably people who don't care about anyway of this. But the people who do care and can feel where I am comming from, thank you and please post. I could really use some kind of help to make me feel better about this and how to just live life as happy as I ever did.

[musiclvr14]

Hi Atorasu - aww I care and I can relate to alot of what you said. I too used to post here alot but havent in the last few months only becuz I didnt have much internet access anymore. And when I did have a tiny bit of internet access I was so far behind and couldnt catch up. But I hope to get more internet access now and come here more and catch up lol. As I too really miss coming here and I miss talking to other fans of this show and I really miss the Head of the class show as well.

I used to watch Head of the class when I was a little kid, but I was so young that I didnt remember any of the episodes now. So when the show came on Nick @ nite I was so excited to see the show again as it brought back alot of great memories. But it was almost like seeing a new show too, cuz I had forgotten alot of the episodes too. Plus when I was a kid I didnt understand some of the stuff, and now I can. And the more episodes that I watched on Nick @ Nite, the more I REALLY got into this show and became a huge fan. So I went online to look for other HOTC fans and sites and found this site. And I agree that this is one of the best HOTC sites and message boards around and I really enjoy this board and the fans here and I had alot of fun talking to people here. And like you said that summer that HOTC was on Nick @ nite was SO fun getting to watch the show and then coming on here and talking about it with other fans. And now it really sucks and is sad that Nick @ nite took the show off the air and not as many fans come here or talk as much anymore. I also went into a huge HOTC withdrawl when it was taken off the air from Nick @ nite. Cuz the show gave me a lot of joy and happiness to be able to look forward to it each nite. And it was especially fun when I met another fan from here and we would email each other everyday when HOTC came on and then talked about the episode after it was over lol. It was cool and even tho we were in different states but we could still see the show at the same time cuz I have satelite tv and I could see the show at the same time as the east coast. So it was like watching the show with someone - even tho it was on in the middle of the night and no one else was up at my house but I knew that someone else was up in another state watching the show with me and then we'd have fun emailing each other after the show was over and talking about the episode. And it was fun being able to share the show with another fan like that. And then its sad when the show is taken off the air and the fun and friends is over too lol. And yeah the show was on tv at such a late hr in the middle of the night, but like you I would just stay up all night and watch it along with the other tv shows Nick @ Nite was airing. I also cant go to bed and then try to get up early, I'm just too tired and go back to sleep anyway and would miss the show. So I just stayed up all night to watch it and it was fun staying up late and watching all the cool tv shows lol.

When Head of the class was airing on Nick @ nite I taped all of the episodes so I can still see the show anytime I want, but its still not the same as it being on tv when other fans can see it with you too tho. I wish Nick @ nite or some station would air the show again and I also wish it would be on dvd soon too. It was such a great fun show and you could learn alot from it and everything.

Anyway, I'm also like you in that I always hated school and could never get into it either. That sucks that the girl you met online smokes and then now she wont respond to you anymore. Hopefully she will again soon tho. But like you I hate smoke and I would never smoke either, so good for you!! But I know how ya feel, as it was like everything good came all at once and made you feel really happy, and then everything leaves all at once leaving you alone and sad and you feel like whats left now to get into or be happy about. As that happens to me all the time where once I finally find something to get into that makes me really happy, then its taken away from me and I feel this empty space and feel alone again. I too felt that way once Head of the class was gone as not only the show was was gone that I was used to watching every day for like a yr, but then so was the friends that came with it and stuff. And other shows were taken off the air with it like Perfect Strangers and I also liked Family Ties and that was taken off too at the time. so it was like everything good I had was leaving. And I was having a great time and wanted everything to stay the same too. But evetually other new things came on that I really got into. Like a coulpe months after HOTC left the air, then the tv show Extreme makeover: home edition came on tv and I was watching that and fater a few episodes I got really hooked into it and became a huge fan of that show and now am enjoying watching that every week and going on their sites and talking to fans of that show, and it feels just like what I had with the Head of the class show and extreme makeover: home edition is just as fun for me. So it was great finding something new to get into as well, even tho I stil really miss this show as its gone. But at least having the extreme makeover: home edition show to get into helps and brings back the fun again even if its with a different show now.

Just like its really great that after Head of the class ended you got into music and found out you could play guitar and stuff! That is so cool! I've ALWAYS been a huge fan of music and tv shows ever sicne I was a little kid. but I never got to learn how to play any musical instroments tho and I really wished I knew how to play. We have a keyboard and I tried learning some songs on it and stuff, but unfortunately I cant teach myself to play by ear like you can tho. I wish I had that talent lol! And thats so true that music helps when your depressed, it does for me too. So does tv shows for me lol.

I'm also like you in being a quiet person, I'm also really shy and I'm alone alot cuz I'm an only child. And I hated growing up alone without any brothers and sisters to talk to or hang out with. and like you I just stayed home more and was on the computer or watched tv or listened to music. And I get depressed at being alone. So your SOO lucky to have your older and younger brothers around and to have cousins around too. and your so lucky that you and your older brother are good friends and can talk and stuff. But I can imagine how hard it is when your older brother and cousins leave for college and work all the time tho. As I'm like you in not being able to talk to my parents and I was never close to them, plus all my relatives live out of state and I dont even know them. I've only seen my relatives about 2 or 3 times my entire life and that was when I was little so I dont know any of them now. So I always felt like I never had much of a family. And making friends in school was hard since I'm more shy and quiet and since I hated school lol, so your really lucky to have built in friends with your siblings and family since you said you liked being around them even more than your friends in school. But I had neither sometimes. I still had friends in school or around the neighborhood but eventually most of them would move away. And even when I was with my friends during the day, I'd still have to come home and be alone since I was an only child and wasnt close to my parents. And on the holidays my friends were gone or busy with their own families and yet they were more my family to me, cuz I didnt have a family at home. So your really lucky to have a family at home with your brothers and cousins altho I know how lonely and hard it is tho when they leave.

Anyway I hope it gets better for you, and wish you all the best and lots of happiness tho! If you want you can email me at musiclvr14@juno.com as I might not always get internet access to come here and post alot. But I'll keep coming here as often as I can tho! Happy holidays!

[Atorasu]

Thanks, musiclvr14. I really appreciate the post.

I'm really sorry to hear about your family problems. I imagine it's really lonely when you don't have any siblings.

Anyway, I'm also like you in that I always hated school and could never get into it either. That sucks that the girl you met online smokes and then now she wont respond to you anymore. Hopefully she will again soon tho. But like you I hate smoke and I would never smoke either, so good for you!!

I am still hoping she will respond. I don't think she is not responding because of what I expressed, but more because she doesn't go online a whole lot. She would just come online to talk to me usually. It would be nice if things could work out.

Just like its really great that after Head of the class ended you got into music and found out you could play guitar and stuff! That is so cool! I've ALWAYS been a huge fan of music and tv shows ever sicne I was a little kid. but I never got to learn how to play any musical instroments tho and I really wished I knew how to play. We have a keyboard and I tried learning some songs on it and stuff, but unfortunately I cant teach myself to play by ear like you can tho. I wish I had that talent lol! And thats so true that music helps when your depressed, it does for me too. So does tv shows for me lol.

I think it's always possible for a person to play a musical instrument. I got a junior guitar when I was 8 and thought it was cool for a couple weeks, but I was ditching it because I was interested in it at all. After that I thought I was not a musical person at all but I relized how much I love to listen to music last year and got into guitar again.

It sounds like you really like music and I 'm sure you could make music because of your interest. It just takes time. I would get mad when I first started guitar because nothing would sound right and I would think about quitting again. If you are serious, never quit. It took me some time before I was getting use to guitar and how it worked. I think it took about half a year when I was realizing I could play. I always try to practice whenever I can and I get more and more use to the guitar and now I really understand it. Right now my goal is to think of full songs, riffs, and solos and record them. I have a lot I have made up in my head, but I want to record them and then show them to other people and try to start a band. (I mainly play hard/classical/normal rock and blues along with metal, though I prefer hard rock and blues.)

Thank you very much again for your post, it's really nice to know there is another person out there very similar to me.

[realchic1999]

Trust me, we're all here for each other, and when you need to vent, we'll listen and be there.

I don't know what it was about her when I watched it, but I thought she was disturbing at first.

Just curious to know what that means!

[DavidRavenMoon]

Originally posted by Atorasu
I don't know what it was about her when I watched it, but I thought she was disturbing at first. But this girl just kept attracting me more and more and I was relzing how much I adored her and was growing a mad crush for her. At the time I didn't think she was some hot chick or anything, but there was something strange about her that just kept luring me into her. I was really loving this character and kept finding her more and more beatiful. She didn't have a whole lot of lines on the show, but I always made sure to keep an open eye on her.

Hey, join the club!

I'm wondering why you found her disturbing? Did you once have a bad experience with a perky girl?

I first watched HOTC when it was a new show back in the 80's. I thought Kimberly was adorable right off the bat, but she really does grow on you!

I tried to watch some of the re-runs on N-at-N, but they were on pretty late. I taped a few, but since I'm married and stuff now I didn't think my wife would like me watching old HOTC re-runs... as it is she tolerates my collection of HOTC and KR stuff I buy off eBay!

One way to get your KR fix whenever you want it, is to pick up a copy of one of her movies... most notably Ghost Dad, which can be found on eBay for next to nothing (I got mine for $2). Another good one is Prison of Secrets.

Too bad no one seems to want to give her a part in a new show.

[Atorasu]

Haha, I'm not too sure how I found her disturbing. I never really had experience with a perky girl (well actually maybe I have), but I think it had something to do with her lines when I first started watching it. Maybe I just wasn't use to her character and it took me a few episodes to tolerate it more or something. That's the past, now I just love her in every way possible .

[realchic1999]

I thought back to when you said that she wasn't really character developed, and then I disagreed, but now I agree.

She wasn't in the pilot episode, and I wonder if she was added on to add more racial diversity in the cast. (Because the original 3 minorities in a majority class didn't make it so! Four is better, but still not balanced...then the new class came in and there were more black than white ! But I digress...) Pilot episodes are "test" eps...and changes are made after it airs due to audience response and whatnot. Anyway, in the pilot episode, Dr. Samuels let us know what each member of the class specialized in, and Sarah comes in episode two and she tends to do "everything." In season 2 she seems to be involved in every club and activity. I think the first season is a time of growth and development. Sarah came off as a little bratty and sassy in the beginning, IMO. Like in the episode where Janice tries to fit in with the class, Sarah runs off to comfort her by saying "She'll listen to me." Also, I felt her hair/makeup in the first few episodes was kind of shoddy...a bad press 'n' curl with light makeup that made her look older. As the seasons progressed, Sarah matured/Kimberly Russell's acting improved and I like her with the curly hair (later season 1 and season 2) and sleek and slick look she had in season 3, and Sarah became the nice, mature and perky character we all like.

I do agree that there were no 100% Sarah-centric episodes. They were usually about her paired off with Darlene.

[Atorasu]

Yeah, I think you really got that one on the dot there.

[realchic1999]

And speaking of "letting things off"...Joher sucks!

It just bugs me that he is still looking for someone to use to promote his B-list behind. I still can't get over the fact that he blew his cousin off because he felt she couldn't help his career. Crap!

Yeah, it was eons ago, but I get riled up now and again. I just hope and pray that he doesn't try to take advantage of someone else.