Please don't hurt me!

[Moondance]

I wrote this in November 2000, after I visited the WHO WOULD YOU KILL OFF L&S....

Note: I LOVE CARMINE! This was just for fun


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THE DEATH OF CARMINE "THE BIG RAGOO" RAGUSA
BY: S. Wilhelmina Feenster


It's Carmine and Shirley's wedding day. Carmine is in
the front waiting for the wedding to start. Laverne is
helping Shirley with her veil. Carmine remembers that
he left the ring in his car he parked across the
street. He runs down the center isle. Everyone is
lined up and ready, but there is no sign of the groom.
Laverne tells Shirley not to panic. Carmine runs
across the road, gets into his car, and grabs the
ring. Relieved, he puts the ring in his pocket and
runs towards the road. He was almost across when
Lenny and Squiggy hit him...with their car. They
saw Carmine lying down on the street. He had
blood oozing from his head and his mouth. His
legs were stuck under the tires and his hand
had been detatched when he hit the windshield.
Lenny informed Laverne and she called 911.
By the time the ambulance got there, it was too late.
While Shirley was hysterically crying, Carmine
"The Big Ragoo" Ragusa was pronounced dead.
Shirley Wilhelmina Feeney vowed never
to love another man...she became a nun.

THE END


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Yeah, that story was a downer, sorry.