Health and Fitness - The Facts - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Janice · 11-27-2004, 02:20 PM

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. If you need grain then eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a
regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is:
No Pain = Good

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans .. another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: "Round" is a shape isn't it?

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

TJL · 11-27-2004, 02:44 PM

I knew beer was good for you...

phoebe7165 · 11-27-2004, 02:49 PM

If taking naps and drinking alcohol will make me live longer, than I'm never dying!! And eating fried foods? Now, there's breaded cauliflower, broccoli, zucchini, corn on the cob... Who says I'm not eating my veggies?!!

Kay Scarpetta · 11-27-2004, 03:34 PM

That just made me extremely hungry. I feel the need to go eat now

Hollow · 11-28-2004, 04:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by webwarrior762004
I don't think you got this from any kind of source. I think you are
making this all up.

it's really sad that you can't recognize humor. you could have at least picked up a hint by the

icon.

Cashodeen · 11-28-2004, 04:27 AM

hahaha, those are great Janice. I got that in an email a while back. My favorite is problably the first. They're all great though.

Cashodeen · 11-28-2004, 04:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by safety pin
it's really sad that you can't recognize humor. you could have at least picked up a hint by the icon.

Uh huh. I'm really at a loss for words.

robyrob · 11-28-2004, 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by webwarrior762004
I don't think you got this from any kind of source. I think you are
making this all up.

I have -3% body fat

barwars · 11-28-2004, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by webwarrior762004
I don't think you got this from any kind of source. I think you are making this all up.

They do exist.
Idiots.
They do, they do, they do exist.

Brian Damage · 11-28-2004, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by webwarrior762004
I don't think you got this from any kind of source. I think you are making this all up.

OY!

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 11-28-2004, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by webwarrior762004
I don't think you got this from any kind of source. I think you are
making this all up.

Hollow · 11-29-2004, 12:08 AM

LOL I DUN N EED 2 KNO (INSERTN BAD WERD HERE LLOLZ) ABOUT FITNESS CUZ I SAM IMORATAL LOL

Janice · 11-29-2004, 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by webwarrior762004
I don't think you got this from any kind of source. I think you are making this all up.

That happens to be an interview with Surgeon General, Richard Carmona, that he granted to the Journal of the American Medical Association.

Dude111 · 12-29-2024, 01:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by phoebe7165
If taking naps and drinking alcohol will make me live longer, than I'm never dying!! And eating fried foods? Now, there's breaded cauliflower, broccoli, zucchini, corn on the cob... Who says I'm not eating my veggies?!!

I dont know how anyone can stand beer,its aweful tasting!!

And when I eat foods,I almost always add more salt/sugar so it tastes like I remember stuff did in the 80s and earlier.... The garbage they give out now IS NOT HEALTHY!!

We need adequate amounts of sugar and salt everyday!!

11-27-2004, 02:20 PM	#1
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	Health and Fitness - The Facts Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. If you need grain then eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain = Good Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans .. another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around! Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? A: "Round" is a shape isn't it? Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

11-27-2004, 02:44 PM	#2
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	I knew beer was good for you...
	__________________ "I think I'll stroll up to the front to see how the shooting's going..." - Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Read my blogs! http://centralparkamisguide.com/ http://dvdcriticscorner.com Visit me on Facebook!http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641138880 Hey, I do the tweet thing too! http://twitter.com/TomLevier My shop of handmade items! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations

11-27-2004, 02:49 PM	#3
phoebe7165 Pop Culture Goddess Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 15, 2003 Location: US of A - the country of "really bad music" lovers Posts: 11,600	If taking naps and drinking alcohol will make me live longer, than I'm never dying!! And eating fried foods? Now, there's breaded cauliflower, broccoli, zucchini, corn on the cob... Who says I'm not eating my veggies?!!
	__________________ Rest in Peace to my Penny-pie. You really were a GREAT dog. I'll see you at the Rainbow Bridge. Penny 9/1/97-12/9/09 Rescued animals make the best pets. Opt to Adopt!!

11-27-2004, 03:34 PM	#4
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	That just made me extremely hungry. I feel the need to go eat now
	__________________ The people who think they know everything about Broadway make me laugh. They've never seen a Broadway play in their life. "oh mi godddd RENT's a mooovie! lyke 525600 minuuuuuuutes!" No. To be a Broadway Freak, you must live, eat, sleep, study, devout, think, obsess, dream, believe Broadway. You must know original & revival casts, soundtracks, performance runs, dates, theatres, numbers, how many Tony Awards A Chorus Line won. You must be Broadway. That's right bitches. I AM Broadway.

11-28-2004, 04:27 AM	#6
Cashodeen Hi. Forum Star Join Date: Aug 30, 2001 Posts: 11,363	hahaha, those are great Janice. I got that in an email a while back. My favorite is problably the first. They're all great though.

11-29-2004, 12:08 AM	#12
Hollow Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Dec 16, 2001 Posts: 30,406	LOL I DUN N EED 2 KNO (INSERTN BAD WERD HERE LLOLZ) ABOUT FITNESS CUZ I SAM IMORATAL LOL