I don't know what to do...

[consentida]

Okay, so I have this really weird problem and I really don't know what to do...

I'm doing an internship with a teacher and I've known her for two years. We were never really all that close or anything. We never had much of a relationship at all. I saw her over the summer and we talked or whatever. That's about it.

Then this school year, I would see her in the hallway and say hi to her and stuff and that was fine. Then one day she randomly gave me a hug for no apparent reason. I didnt think much of that either.

So, I started doing a teaching internship with her earlier this month which was cool I guess. Every day she'd rub my arm just like in summer school. The third day that I sat in on her class she came behind me and put her hands on my shoulders and then she started playing my hair. Then she proceeded to lean over and start talking in my ear. She caught me off guard so I didnt say anything.

Then last week we were talking about something. She pretty much told me to get a life and I told her I was offended but we were just joking. She was standing up and I was sitting down and we were just going back and forth about me having to get a life or whatever. And she ran her hand over my head and just like....kept her hand on the back of my head. So I was like "Okay..." And then she pulled me toward her. And my head was pretty much in alignment with where her thigh was and so my head was just like...on her thigh and she was still holding me so I couldnt pull away from her. So while my head was all up against her thigh she was rubbing and patting my back. Then she let me go and she grabbed my chin and rubbed it. She did that twice. So I was like "Okay....whatever."

Then like two days later she ran her hand over my head again and that was that.

I've had a few people ask me why she's always touching me and stuff but I have no answer for them. A few of my friends told me to report her but I'm just not sure that what she's done warrants a complaint.

One of my friends is making a really big deal about it and I just...I don't know. Maybe the teacher is doing it as like a motherly "I care about you" thing. I really have no idea. I don't know if she's trying to be sexual. I really don't think she is. But my friends are making this big deal about it. I havent told my parents or any other adults. I figured I'd just wait and see where it goes.

Do you think the teacher's gone too far? Or am I just paranoid? Or what?

I'm trying to get opinions bedcause I really don't know if I should complain or not.

I really would appreciate any kind of advice you guys can give me...


Sorry this post was so long...

[TJL]

If it makes you feel uncomfortable, then it's not right.

You should talk to another teacher or some other person of authority at the school.

[Warm & Fuzzy]

I would suggest to tell your parents, and have them deal with her. If she's holding you so that you can't pull away from her, then that's not good. Tell someone, okay?

[Hollow]

if it makes you uncomfortable smack her off next time she does it.

[CD DeLorenzo]

hey, Michelle mentioned you posted something here...
okay, here's what I think,

Does she do that just with you, or with others as well? Talk to some others in her classes or something and see if she does it with them too.

I agree that it isn't right when it makes you uncomfortable, but I don't think you should get your parents or somebody else involved, at least not yet. Try talking to her, tell her you don't like it. Or if you don't openly wanna say it, do it subtle, like tell her a story like some aunt a friend of your mom or whoever was visiting and she kept hugging you and stuff, and say how much you hate getting touched by strangers. Maybe she gets it. If that doesn't help, you can still see what you do next and eventually get help from somebody else.

I think that's what I'd do Good luck

[crystals]

Talk to someone at the school. A guidance counsellor or another teacher or somebody. If her behavior makes you feel uncomfortable you shouldn't allow it to go on any longer. Good luck.

[ThirteenInchEscape]

wait, why are you doing an internship at 16?

Anyway, I'm 16 also, and I wasnt sure how old you were by post (I thought you might have been in college, which changes things in a couple of ways)

So now, am I right to assume that you are male? Nothing I could find would show me.



All I have to say, is make sure you are cautious before crying wolf, because if it is truly innocent, wouldnt want to ruin someones career.

[dawsongirl]

Originally posted by ThirteenInchEscape
So now, am I right to assume that you are male? Nothing I could find would show me.

She is female.

[Brent88]

Originally posted by dawsongirl
She is female.

Disgusting(the female teacher).

[consentida]

Originally posted by ThirteenInchEscape
wait, why are you doing an internship at 16?

Anyway, I'm 16 also, and I wasnt sure how old you were by post (I thought you might have been in college, which changes things in a couple of ways)

So now, am I right to assume that you are male? Nothing I could find would show me.



All I have to say, is make sure you are cautious before crying wolf, because if it is truly innocent, wouldnt want to ruin someones career.

At my school, we're allowed to do like a work study program thing depending on what career we choose. We can go to a business or some place like that. I want to be a teacher so they let you work with a teacher at your school. You have to spend every free period you have with them.


I'm a female by the way. About ruining her career; that's what I'm afraid of. It could be a completely innocent thing and she might mean absolutely nothing. But all my friends are like "But what if it isnt innocent? You should go complain." And I cant just...do that. So it just makes everything even more confusing.

Originally posted by CD DeLorenzo

hey, Michelle mentioned you posted something here...
okay, here's what I think,

Does she do that just with you, or with others as well? Talk to some others in her classes or something and see if she does it with them too.

I agree that it isn't right when it makes you uncomfortable, but I don't think you should get your parents or somebody else involved, at least not yet. Try talking to her, tell her you don't like it. Or if you don't openly wanna say it, do it subtle, like tell her a story like some aunt a friend of your mom or whoever was visiting and she kept hugging you and stuff, and say how much you hate getting touched by strangers. Maybe she gets it. If that doesn't help, you can still see what you do next and eventually get help from somebody else.

I've talked to other people in her classes and they all hate her with a burning passion for one reason or another. Everyone that I've talk to said that they didnt find anything particularly inappropriate about her behavior. They all just find her to be insensitive , which makes what she's doing to me even more strange.

From my knowledge of this teacher, she's not close with any of her students. She definitely separates herself from most of them. Even when I had her in tenth grade, she was like that. Like i said, before this we didnt have any kind of relationship at all. I was in her class, she knew my name and that was it. And this year, she just...changed.

I dont know. I'm just really confused and I feel really lost because on one hand everyone and their mother is telling me to report her. And on the other hand I dont want to get this woman in trouble if her intentions turn out to be completely and honestly innocent.

[ThirteenInchEscape]

if they want you to turn her in because they hate her, not because they care about you, be wary.

[consentida]

Originally posted by ThirteenInchEscape
if they want you to turn her in because they hate her, not because they care about you, be wary.

Yeah, that's why I'm having such a hard time with it. I know the woman can be mean and I used to hate her too. But I got used to her and she's really not as bad as people make her out to be.

But I just dont know what to do because I really don't know what this woman's intentions are. And I just find it odd because she was never like that with me before and I've never seen her like that with anybody else either. I'm so confused...

[Sterling Holobyte]

I would talk to the guidance counselor if I were you; that is what they are there for, not just for academic issues, but personal ones as well.
This person's behaviour should be looked into! Everything you've said in your first post; rubbing your arms and shoulders, playing with your hair, talking in your ear; you do realize that these are things that people do who like someone, don't you? And I'm talking about LIKE like, not just an innocent like! And I'm not even going to go into her forcing your head down to her thigh.
What concerns me even more is her degrading you and telling you to get a life. Sexual predators often put-down their victims to squash their self-esteem and make them feel worthless, so that when the victim is feeling worthless they can turn around and comfort them, as it looks like she has, to make the person feel like they care and will protect them. When what the person really needs protection from is from them.
Does this make any sense to you? I hope so.
Look, I understand you don't want to be the cause of this teacher losing her career, but for one thing she is there to teach the school curriculum but it sounds like she wants to "teach" you something entirely different. And another thing it would not be you who ruins her career, it would be her fault for choosing to do what she is doing. And I don't care if you are gay or straight or whatever, a professional teacher would not do what she is doing with a student under her care!

With all that said, if you want to give her a hint that you don't like all that touching and stuff, as CD Delorenzo said, do that. But I would still talk to a counselor about your concerns anyway(someone else in the school system should know about this in case she takes the hint from you but then does it to someone else). Then if she never, and I mean NEVER, does anything like this again, there is the 1 in 1,000,000,000th chance that it was innocent. But if it's not, you would not only be helping yourself but also other potential victims of this "teacher", who might not have the self-esteem to report her, by gettin this person out of the school system and away from children.

btw, it doesn't matter if your classmates hate her or like her, what matters is what she is doing to you.

[TheGreatPretender]

Next time she does it just go "What the hell is your problem?" or something. The fact that you didn't say anything all the time she was doing this, gives her the idea that she can continue to do it without getting in trouble. The best idea on this thread so far is to go the counsler. She/he may report the teacher, but everything in a guidance counsler's office between the counsler and student is strictly confidential so the teacher won't find out who reported her. There is no reason for you to be uncomfortable around your school and teachers. Some people are affectionate but if she is doing things like holding you to her thighs, and whispering in your ear, there is obviously something wrong. True, she will lose her career, but your safety is alot more important than that.

[MissZero]

if shes just touching your hair and stuff then thats alright but if shes holding you in weird ways then you defianently gotta take action...this could end up really messy though....does the school have security cameras?