Men vs. Women: Showering - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Dutabi84 · 10-25-2004, 11:34 PM

How To Shower Like a Woman

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair.

11. Shave armpits and legs.

12. Turn off shower.

13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hairin super absorbent towel.

15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.

16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake weiner at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror . Admire the size of your weiner and scratch your ass.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Wash your face

6. Wash your armpits.

7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.

9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs
stuck on the soap..

11. Shampoo your hair.

12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

13. Pee.

14. Rinse off and get out of shower.

15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

16. Admire weiner size in mirror again.

17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake weiner at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

19. Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this email, there is something so very wrong with you.

TheHappyBurgerMeister · 10-25-2004, 11:37 PM

LOL, that's hilarious. I'm a female and I definitely don't do that much in the shower! Some are really true though.

Brent88 · 10-26-2004, 12:07 AM

¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ · 10-26-2004, 12:24 AM

Dude I average about 9 minutes a shower.

Kay Scarpetta · 10-26-2004, 07:22 AM

I average about 20 minutes a shower. I just stand there when I'm done and let the hot water spray on my face. It's refreshing.

Moonlight Lady · 10-26-2004, 10:07 AM

I average about 15-20 minutes in the shower without all the different wash cloths and loofahs and I rarely shampoo twice.

BUSH-2004!!! · 10-26-2004, 12:51 PM

Shower??? Isn't this what you do on Saturday nights???

Brent88 · 10-26-2004, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BUSH-2004!!!
Shower??? Isn't this what you do on Saturday nights???

!!!!!!!!!

Superstar · 10-26-2004, 01:20 PM

Georgia's on my Mind · 10-26-2004, 01:21 PM

no...

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 10-26-2004, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dutabi84
How To Shower Like a Woman

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair.

11. Shave armpits and legs.

12. Turn off shower.

13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hairin super absorbent towel.

15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.

16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake weiner at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror . Admire the size of your weiner and scratch your ass.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Wash your face

6. Wash your armpits.

7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.

9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs
stuck on the soap..

11. Shampoo your hair.

12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

13. Pee.

14. Rinse off and get out of shower.

15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

16. Admire weiner size in mirror again.

17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake weiner at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

19. Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this email, there is something so very wrong with you.

Damn.

I'm a girl and I definately do NOT do all of that **** in the shower.

TJL · 10-26-2004, 05:12 PM

Oh, I don't do any of that stuff.
Any of the lovely ladies out there who think I'm lying can gladly join me in the shower and see for yourself.

Rhiannon · 10-26-2004, 05:28 PM

that is pretty accurate

dawsongirl · 10-26-2004, 10:45 PM

lol...I am so glad I don't share my shower with anyone.

Lady T · 10-26-2004, 10:48 PM

11. Women share more than just their arm pits and their legs

10-25-2004, 11:34 PM	#1
Dutabi84 kittens must die Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 22, 2003 Location: MN/TX Posts: 11,026	Men vs. Women: Showering How To Shower Like a Woman 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone. 5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. 7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes. 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 10. Rinse conditioner off hair. 11. Shave armpits and legs. 12. Turn off shower. 13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. 14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hairin super absorbent towel. 15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs. 16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. How To Shower Like a Man 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake weiner at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror . Admire the size of your weiner and scratch your ass. 4. Get in the shower. 5. Wash your face 6. Wash your armpits. 7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower. 9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.. 11. Shampoo your hair. 12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 13. Pee. 14. Rinse off and get out of shower. 15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 16. Admire weiner size in mirror again. 17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake weiner at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. 19. Throw wet towel on bed. If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this email, there is something so very wrong with you.

10-25-2004, 11:37 PM	#2
TheHappyBurgerMeister Member Senior Member Join Date: Jul 23, 2002 Location: Wisconsin, USA Posts: 2,209	LOL, that's hilarious. I'm a female and I definitely don't do that much in the shower! Some are really true though.
	__________________ Kristina Thinkin' 'Bout Something Official Music Video Shout it Out- Hanson's 5th studio album in stores June 8th!

10-26-2004, 12:07 AM	#3
Brent88 Member Forum Star Join Date: Aug 01, 2003 Location: Alabama Posts: 16,174
	__________________ Brent

10-26-2004, 12:24 AM	#4
¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ MISS APRIL Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 19, 2001 Location: Parsonsfield ME Shaws - Screwing my way up the employment ladder! Posts: 68,780	Dude I average about 9 minutes a shower.
	__________________ DAVID COOK FOR AMERICAN IDOL

10-26-2004, 07:22 AM	#5
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	I average about 20 minutes a shower. I just stand there when I'm done and let the hot water spray on my face. It's refreshing.
	__________________ The people who think they know everything about Broadway make me laugh. They've never seen a Broadway play in their life. "oh mi godddd RENT's a mooovie! lyke 525600 minuuuuuuutes!" No. To be a Broadway Freak, you must live, eat, sleep, study, devout, think, obsess, dream, believe Broadway. You must know original & revival casts, soundtracks, performance runs, dates, theatres, numbers, how many Tony Awards A Chorus Line won. You must be Broadway. That's right bitches. I AM Broadway.

10-26-2004, 10:07 AM	#6
Moonlight Lady Member Forum Star Join Date: Aug 18, 2002 Posts: 16,052	I average about 15-20 minutes in the shower without all the different wash cloths and loofahs and I rarely shampoo twice.
	__________________ [

10-26-2004, 12:51 PM	#7
BUSH-2004!!! RUDY IS NEXT IN 08!! Occasional Poster Join Date: Sep 24, 2004 Location: Anywhere where there are no lefties!!! Posts: 91	Shower??? Isn't this what you do on Saturday nights???

10-26-2004, 01:20 PM	#9
Superstar Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 08, 2003 Posts: 63,316

10-26-2004, 01:21 PM	#10
Georgia's on my Mind Senior Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Aug 19, 2001 Posts: 25,054	no...

10-26-2004, 05:12 PM	#12
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	Oh, I don't do any of that stuff. Any of the lovely ladies out there who think I'm lying can gladly join me in the shower and see for yourself.
	__________________ "I think I'll stroll up to the front to see how the shooting's going..." - Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Read my blogs! http://centralparkamisguide.com/ http://dvdcriticscorner.com Visit me on Facebook!http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641138880 Hey, I do the tweet thing too! http://twitter.com/TomLevier My shop of handmade items! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations

10-26-2004, 05:28 PM	#13
Rhiannon oh, snap! Forum Fanatic Join Date: Jul 19, 2002 Location: middle of nowhere Posts: 11,097	that is pretty accurate
	__________________ Nothing better the feeling is so fine Simply put I saw your love stream flow

10-26-2004, 10:45 PM	#14
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,134	lol...I am so glad I don't share my shower with anyone.

10-26-2004, 10:48 PM	#15
Lady T Member Forum Star Join Date: Apr 20, 2003 Posts: 17,361	11. Women share more than just their arm pits and their legs