The Niles and Roz Thread - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frasierfan1983 · 10-20-2004, 03:43 PM

Just to remind everyone what a great "couple" they were...

Courtesy of the Frasier Files:

[1.4]I Hate Frasier Crane

Niles: [to Roz:] Hello, I don't believe we've met.
Roz: Yes we have, Niles, three or four times. Roz Doyle.
Niles: Oh, of course. It was at the... it was during the... well, I'm far too successful to feel awkward. Where did we meet?
Roz: The radio station.
Niles: Ah, I'll take your word for it. Nice to see you again.

[2.14]Fool Me Once, Shame On You

Frasier: So, Roz, you gonna join us?
Roz: [pointedly at Niles] No, I think I'll just go sit over here.
Niles: Roz? Are you trying to avoid me?
Roz: Well, can you blame me? I mean, it took you nearly a year just to learn my name and every time we sit together, you have some kind of snide remark to make.
Niles: Name one.
Roz: Well, last week you told me my bedroom was easier to get
into than a community college.
Niles: I was hoping that would be the one you'd name.

[2.17]Daphne's Room

Frasier: [to Roz:] Maris was upset with Niles so he bought her a
Mercedes.
Roz: Woof!
Frasier: [to Niles:] And if you're suggesting that I buy my way out
of my problem, the answer is no! It's the coward’s way out!
Niles: Oh, so I'm a coward?
Frasier: Yes!
Niles: Well, I'm a coward with a hickey!
Roz: [to Niles:] Buy me a Mercedes and I'll make your neck look like a relief map of the Andes.

[4.5]Head Game

Niles is sitting in the booth listening to a caller drone on with an
extremely bored look on his face. Roz is just sitting back smiling.

Linda: [v.o.] And now we're at the point where all communication has broken down. He won't even listen to me.
Niles: [bored] Linda-
Linda: Do you know how annoying that is – not to be listened to?
Niles: [bored] Linda-
Linda: It's driving me crazy. I was hoping maybe you would speak to him directly.
Niles: Excuse me one moment. [presses the cough button] Thank you for the brilliant job of call screening, Roz. How do I get out of
this?
Roz: Did you ever think of saying you've other callers on the line?
Niles: [back on air] Linda, I'd love to go into this in more depth
but unfortunately we're nearly out of time and Roz has lots of
other callers waiting anxiously on the line.
Roz: Actually, Dr. Crane, all lines are open!

[5.2]The Gift Horse

Niles: Hello.

[Startled, Frasier breaks away from Roz, who continues the charade by keeping her arms around him and nuzzling his neck.]

Frasier: Hello, Niles. You know, this isn't what it looks like. You
see, her ex-boyfriend was just... [off her nuzzling] Oh, just stop that!
Niles: Please, no explanation necessary. I assume that at the next meeting of Seattle's "Haven't Kissed Roz Club," it will just
be me and the archbishop.
Roz: I'll save you the club fees.
Niles: What-?

[Roz kisses Niles and exits, leaving him somewhat philosophical.]

Niles: Everyone kisses better than Maris!

[6.16]Decoys

Martin: Oh-ho... well, maybe you and Niles can cheer each other up.
Niles: [nervous] Dad...
Roz: Why, what's his problem?
Martin: Oh, Daphne's got a new boyfriend and it's eating him up.
Niles: Dad!
Roz: What? [to Niles] You've got a thing for Daphne?
Martin: What, you didn't know that after all these years?
Roz: No! I can't believe Daphne never told me.
Martin: Well, how could she? She doesn't know either.
Roz: You're kidding! [they laugh]
Niles: Yes, yes, he's a great kidder. Now, you Dad, run along, and you be very careful crossing streets!

[6.16]Decoys (again)

Frasier: You know, Niles, you're behaving awfully strangely. What
the heck is going on?
Niles: What do you mean?
Frasier: I mean that you show absolutely no desire to be alone with Roz! I'm starting to have serious doubts about this so-called "romance"!
Niles: Oh, really? Well, does this look so-called to you? [to Roz]
Come here, Pookie!

Niles pulls Roz across his lap and gives her a passionate kiss.

[8.15]Hooping Cranes

Roz: Wow, Niles! You finally made varsity after thirty years, huh?
Niles: Yes, but it's not a real varsity jacket, Roz, so you're under
no obligation to sleep with me.

[9.1]Don Juan In Hell

Roz is reading at a table. Niles, wearing shorts, a tropical shirt,
and his beard, gets his coffee from the counter.

Niles: Excuse me, miss, do you have the time?
Roz: [glances up, then checks her watch] Yes, it's- [double-take]
Niles?
Niles: [Jamaican accent] Ya, mon!
Roz: You look... did you get hit on the head by a coconut?
Niles: The coconut of revelation. I discovered a whole new side of myself in Belize, and I'm not going to abandon Island Niles just 'cause my vacation's over.
Roz: Well, Island Niles might want to rethink the short pants.
Niles: Island Niles would prefer not to wear pants at all.

[11.1]No Sex Please, We're Skittish

Niles: Listen, this isn't an easy subject to broach, but is it possible you're in love with Frasier?
Roz: Absolutely not.
Niles: You sound sure.
Roz: I am sure. I mean, if I were going to fall for him it would
have been two years ago when we slept together.
Niles: Well then, another theory I'd like to explore is... HO, - back
up! You and Frasier slept together?
Roz: He didn't tell you?
Niles: No... Well, I suppose it's only natural. When the wolf and
the lamb work together, it's only a matter of time before the wolf gets his way. I hope you were gentle with him.

Brian Damage · 10-20-2004, 03:57 PM

That's some excellent stuff

Frasierfan1983 · 10-20-2004, 05:16 PM

Chambers · 10-20-2004, 07:10 PM

hahaha
love it.

Frasierfan1983 · 10-20-2004, 07:25 PM

Feel free to contribute. Those were the best ones I could think of from memory, so I tracked them down.

Chambers · 10-20-2004, 08:17 PM

Here's one from "My Coffee with Niles" that's about Roz:

Niles on Roz: I don't think she likes me.
Frasier: Niles, it isn't a question of liking or not liking. She despises you!
Niles: Really? Why should I warrant such strong emotions? I barely acknowledge her existence.
Frasier: I think you may be onto something there, Sherlock.

Frasierfan1983 · 10-21-2004, 02:45 PM

It might only be about Roz, but it's still damn funny and makes my point!

Moondance · 10-21-2004, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Frasierfan1983

I loved them and I love that picture....Oh why didn't Niles/Daphne/Roz go ahead and have a ménage a toi in that one episode in Season 10.

Frasierfan1983 · 10-21-2004, 08:42 PM

I still think that (in the pre- Niles/Daphne as a couple seasons) Roz and Niles could really have benefitted from getting drunk together and subsequently releasing all that tension.

It would have improved their friendship immensely - which is exactly what happened between him and Lilith.

Moondance · 10-21-2004, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Frasierfan1983
I still think that (in the pre- Niles/Daphne as a couple seasons) Roz and Niles could really have benefitted from getting drunk together and subsequently releasing all that tension.

It would have improved their friendship immensely - which is exactly what happened between him and Lilith.

Oh, yes! I totally agree with you... Frasier and Roz was pretty much inevitable, but Niles and Roz would have been more interesting...and to see Daphne's face, if THAT came out!

Frasierfan1983 · 10-21-2004, 08:49 PM

Actually, I'm convinced "Niles and Roz" would have happened if it weren't for "Niles and Lilith".

Moondance · 10-21-2004, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Frasierfan1983
Actually, I'm convinced "Niles and Roz" would have happened if it weren't for "Niles and Lilith".

I haven't seen "Room Service" but I'm sure it was good... Niles and Lilith sleeping together is the equiviant of Frasier and Lilith sleeping together back in "Cheers" days... Oh, *sigh*

Frasierfan1983 · 10-21-2004, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Moondance
I haven't seen "Room Service" but I'm sure it was good... Niles and Lilith sleeping together is the equiviant of Frasier and Lilith sleeping together back in "Cheers" days... Oh, *sigh*

If you haven't read the transcript for Room Service yet I highly recommend you keep it that way. It's a great episode!

Chambers · 10-21-2004, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Frasierfan1983
If you haven't read the transcript for Room Service yet I highly recommend you keep it that way. It's a great episode!

Ah Moondance can't help herself - she has read the transcript. But it's still a million times funnier when you watch it. So hopefully she didn't compromise anything.

Moondance · 10-22-2004, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Chambers
Ah Moondance can't help herself - she has read the transcript. But it's still a million times funnier when you watch it. So hopefully she didn't compromise anything.

Ahh, I'm an addict, but I'm getting help from my support group which meets on Tuesdays and Thursdays!

I will not read anymore transcripts of episodes I haven't seen...no matter how tempted I am.

10-20-2004, 03:43 PM	#1
Frasierfan1983 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Aug 16, 2002 Location: UK Posts: 169	The Niles and Roz Thread Just to remind everyone what a great "couple" they were... Courtesy of the Frasier Files: [1.4]I Hate Frasier Crane Niles: [to Roz:] Hello, I don't believe we've met. Roz: Yes we have, Niles, three or four times. Roz Doyle. Niles: Oh, of course. It was at the... it was during the... well, I'm far too successful to feel awkward. Where did we meet? Roz: The radio station. Niles: Ah, I'll take your word for it. Nice to see you again. [2.14]Fool Me Once, Shame On You Frasier: So, Roz, you gonna join us? Roz: [pointedly at Niles] No, I think I'll just go sit over here. Niles: Roz? Are you trying to avoid me? Roz: Well, can you blame me? I mean, it took you nearly a year just to learn my name and every time we sit together, you have some kind of snide remark to make. Niles: Name one. Roz: Well, last week you told me my bedroom was easier to get into than a community college. Niles: I was hoping that would be the one you'd name. [2.17]Daphne's Room Frasier: [to Roz:] Maris was upset with Niles so he bought her a Mercedes. Roz: Woof! Frasier: [to Niles:] And if you're suggesting that I buy my way out of my problem, the answer is no! It's the coward’s way out! Niles: Oh, so I'm a coward? Frasier: Yes! Niles: Well, I'm a coward with a hickey! Roz: [to Niles:] Buy me a Mercedes and I'll make your neck look like a relief map of the Andes. [4.5]Head Game Niles is sitting in the booth listening to a caller drone on with an extremely bored look on his face. Roz is just sitting back smiling. Linda: [v.o.] And now we're at the point where all communication has broken down. He won't even listen to me. Niles: [bored] Linda- Linda: Do you know how annoying that is – not to be listened to? Niles: [bored] Linda- Linda: It's driving me crazy. I was hoping maybe you would speak to him directly. Niles: Excuse me one moment. [presses the cough button] Thank you for the brilliant job of call screening, Roz. How do I get out of this? Roz: Did you ever think of saying you've other callers on the line? Niles: [back on air] Linda, I'd love to go into this in more depth but unfortunately we're nearly out of time and Roz has lots of other callers waiting anxiously on the line. Roz: Actually, Dr. Crane, all lines are open! [5.2]The Gift Horse Niles: Hello. [Startled, Frasier breaks away from Roz, who continues the charade by keeping her arms around him and nuzzling his neck.] Frasier: Hello, Niles. You know, this isn't what it looks like. You see, her ex-boyfriend was just... [off her nuzzling] Oh, just stop that! Niles: Please, no explanation necessary. I assume that at the next meeting of Seattle's "Haven't Kissed Roz Club," it will just be me and the archbishop. Roz: I'll save you the club fees. Niles: What-? [Roz kisses Niles and exits, leaving him somewhat philosophical.] Niles: Everyone kisses better than Maris! [6.16]Decoys Martin: Oh-ho... well, maybe you and Niles can cheer each other up. Niles: [nervous] Dad... Roz: Why, what's his problem? Martin: Oh, Daphne's got a new boyfriend and it's eating him up. Niles: Dad! Roz: What? [to Niles] You've got a thing for Daphne? Martin: What, you didn't know that after all these years? Roz: No! I can't believe Daphne never told me. Martin: Well, how could she? She doesn't know either. Roz: You're kidding! [they laugh] Niles: Yes, yes, he's a great kidder. Now, you Dad, run along, and you be very careful crossing streets! [6.16]Decoys (again) Frasier: You know, Niles, you're behaving awfully strangely. What the heck is going on? Niles: What do you mean? Frasier: I mean that you show absolutely no desire to be alone with Roz! I'm starting to have serious doubts about this so-called "romance"! Niles: Oh, really? Well, does this look so-called to you? [to Roz] Come here, Pookie! Niles pulls Roz across his lap and gives her a passionate kiss. [8.15]Hooping Cranes Roz: Wow, Niles! You finally made varsity after thirty years, huh? Niles: Yes, but it's not a real varsity jacket, Roz, so you're under no obligation to sleep with me. [9.1]Don Juan In Hell Roz is reading at a table. Niles, wearing shorts, a tropical shirt, and his beard, gets his coffee from the counter. Niles: Excuse me, miss, do you have the time? Roz: [glances up, then checks her watch] Yes, it's- [double-take] Niles? Niles: [Jamaican accent] Ya, mon! Roz: You look... did you get hit on the head by a coconut? Niles: The coconut of revelation. I discovered a whole new side of myself in Belize, and I'm not going to abandon Island Niles just 'cause my vacation's over. Roz: Well, Island Niles might want to rethink the short pants. Niles: Island Niles would prefer not to wear pants at all. [11.1]No Sex Please, We're Skittish Niles: Listen, this isn't an easy subject to broach, but is it possible you're in love with Frasier? Roz: Absolutely not. Niles: You sound sure. Roz: I am sure. I mean, if I were going to fall for him it would have been two years ago when we slept together. Niles: Well then, another theory I'd like to explore is... HO, - back up! You and Frasier slept together? Roz: He didn't tell you? Niles: No... Well, I suppose it's only natural. When the wolf and the lamb work together, it's only a matter of time before the wolf gets his way. I hope you were gentle with him.
	__________________ Martin: Can you imagine? Lilith's and my kid would be brother to you and Niles AND Freddie. Frasier: What are you talking about? Martin: And if you and Lilith got back together, you'd be his step-father AND his brother, and Niles would be your son... and his own uncle! It's almost worth doing just so that I can tell the story!

10-20-2004, 07:10 PM	#4
Chambers The Crane Trinity Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 27, 2004 Location: Where everybody knows a Crane. Posts: 5,427	hahaha love it.
	__________________ Member of the "God, Lilith is so ing cool" Fan Club Where everybody knows your tossed salads and scrambled eggs. FREEDOM OF THOUGHT blank

10-20-2004, 03:57 PM	#2
Brian Damage I'm Rich Bitch Forum Icon Join Date: Feb 03, 2002 Location: What Ain't No Country I Ever Heard Of...They Speak English in What? Posts: 63,107	That's some excellent stuff

10-20-2004, 05:16 PM	#3
Frasierfan1983 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Aug 16, 2002 Location: UK Posts: 169

10-20-2004, 07:25 PM	#5
Frasierfan1983 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Aug 16, 2002 Location: UK Posts: 169	Feel free to contribute. Those were the best ones I could think of from memory, so I tracked them down.

10-20-2004, 08:17 PM	#6
Chambers The Crane Trinity Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 27, 2004 Location: Where everybody knows a Crane. Posts: 5,427	Here's one from "My Coffee with Niles" that's about Roz: Niles on Roz: I don't think she likes me. Frasier: Niles, it isn't a question of liking or not liking. She despises you! Niles: Really? Why should I warrant such strong emotions? I barely acknowledge her existence. Frasier: I think you may be onto something there, Sherlock.

10-21-2004, 02:45 PM	#7
Frasierfan1983 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Aug 16, 2002 Location: UK Posts: 169	It might only be about Roz, but it's still damn funny and makes my point!

10-21-2004, 08:42 PM	#9
Frasierfan1983 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Aug 16, 2002 Location: UK Posts: 169	I still think that (in the pre- Niles/Daphne as a couple seasons) Roz and Niles could really have benefitted from getting drunk together and subsequently releasing all that tension. It would have improved their friendship immensely - which is exactly what happened between him and Lilith.

10-21-2004, 08:49 PM	#11
Frasierfan1983 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Aug 16, 2002 Location: UK Posts: 169	Actually, I'm convinced "Niles and Roz" would have happened if it weren't for "Niles and Lilith".