A McDonald's application! - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Janice Johnson · 10-05-2004, 10:19 AM

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida . . . And they hired him, because he was so honest and funny!

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NAME: Greg Bulmash

[SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.]

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY?: Is "felony" sex with a cat? Because if it is . . . no.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.

[DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.]

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.]

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.

dawsongirl · 10-05-2004, 02:46 PM

Kay Scarpetta · 10-05-2004, 02:50 PM

that's funny

Superstar · 10-05-2004, 03:03 PM

Janet McFarland · 10-05-2004, 05:25 PM

I saw that on Funny Junk

G-Force Glockstar · 10-05-2004, 10:07 PM

Dude111 · 07-07-2021, 03:58 PM

He was quite bold saying this

Quote:

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

He is lucky they hired him!!

10-05-2004, 10:19 AM	#1
Janice Johnson Commercial Lover Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: May 30, 2003 Location: Miami, Florida Posts: 4,740	A McDonald's application! This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida . . . And they hired him, because he was so honest and funny! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- NAME: Greg Bulmash [SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.] DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY?: Is "felony" sex with a cat? Because if it is . . . no. DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire. [DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.] WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.] SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.

10-05-2004, 02:50 PM	#3
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	that's funny
	__________________ The people who think they know everything about Broadway make me laugh. They've never seen a Broadway play in their life. "oh mi godddd RENT's a mooovie! lyke 525600 minuuuuuuutes!" No. To be a Broadway Freak, you must live, eat, sleep, study, devout, think, obsess, dream, believe Broadway. You must know original & revival casts, soundtracks, performance runs, dates, theatres, numbers, how many Tony Awards A Chorus Line won. You must be Broadway. That's right bitches. I AM Broadway.

10-05-2004, 10:07 PM	#6
G-Force Glockstar Member Forum Celebrity Join Date: Nov 22, 2003 Posts: 21,770
	__________________ Formally, FullHouseFan8795, CamdenGirl89, Lana Lang, Ruthie Lang, CravinForCarrie, and Girl Meets World.

10-05-2004, 02:46 PM	#2
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140

10-05-2004, 03:03 PM	#4
Superstar Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 08, 2003 Posts: 63,316

10-05-2004, 05:25 PM	#5
Janet McFarland Member Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 09, 2004 Posts: 4,344	I saw that on Funny Junk