"The Odd Quad" Episode 6 - Gay, I?

[Chad22]

Themesong: "Different People" By No Doubt

CAST
Adam Collins - Chad Doody
Brad Fulton - TF
Jeff Kimble - EFD
Kim Stevens - Brooke Anne Smith
Walter Munson - William Daniels

GUEST STARS
Dean Sanders - Ed Begley Jr.
Paul - Will Estes
Fast Food Restaurant Manager - Dan Frischman
Waiter - David Oliver Cohen
Trucker - Nick Offerman
Jock - Nick Spano
Guy In Bathroom - Noah Emmerich
Old Lady - Ellen Albertini Dow
12 Year Old Boy in Gym - Kody Hornick
_____________________________________________________________________________________
*Brad & Kim are shown sitting in the living room reading when theres a knock at the door.*

Brad: I'll get it.

*Brad gets up and answers the door. A Man in a purple and pink shirt and tight Purple pants is shown in the doorway.*

Brad: Uhhhh...Can i help you?

Man: Yes, I'm Looking for Kim.

*Kim walks up and smiles.*

Kim: Paul!

Paul: Kim! You look fabulouso!

*Paul and Kim hug as Brad Looks confused.*

Kim: Brad...This is My brother, Paul.

Paul: Its so nice to meet you!

*Paul smiles and extends his hand as Brad slowly extends his and they shake.*

Brad: Nice....Clothes.

Kim: Pauls a designer.

Paul: Oh Yes, Its always been a passion of mine. Do you have any.....PASSIONS, Brad?

Brad: *Looks A Little scared* Uhh...Well i like to study.

*Paul starts giggling like a school girl as Brad looks scared and confused and Kim laughs.*

Paul: Now you're not fooling around with my Little sister are you? I'd hate to have to get Physical with you.

Brad: Yeah....Dont want that.

*Paul starts giggling again as Brad, Still a bit scared, fakely laughs along.*

Paul: Well Sis, I Hate to leave so quickly after i arrived....But i am in town for a reason.

Kim: Oh. Another designers convention?

Paul: *Sighs* Yes....We're all required to go. Although i really dont see whats left about designing that you have to tell ME!

*Paul starts giggling again as Kim laughs.*

Paul: I'll try to spend more time with you before i leave, How about dinner tommorow night?

Kim: Sounds Great!

Paul: Would you like to join us, Brad?

Brad: Uhhh....No Thanks. I'll let you two catch up.

Paul: Oh Nonsence, We chat so much on the phone its as if we still live together! *Laughs*

Brad: Well just the same, I Think i'll pass.

Paul: Suit Yourself, But i hope you change your mind. Your other roomates are invited too, Kim.

Kim: I'll let them know. Bye, Paul.

Paul: Buh Bye!

*Paul walks out as Kim smiles and Brad shakes his head.*

Kim: How come you dont want to go?

Brad: Kim, Can i ask you something about your brother?

Kim: Whats that?

Brad: Is he....You Know......Funny?

Kim: Yeah, Hes a riot.

Brad: No, Not funny ha ha....I Mean......."Funny".

Kim: I Dont think i understand.

Brad: Kim, Is your brother a Homo......Homo.....

Kim: Sexual?

Brad: Well...Yeah.

Kim: *Rolls Eyes* No Brad, Hes not Gay.

Brad: Oh, Cause...He kinda comes off like he is. No Offence or anything.

Kim: Hes Not. But even if he were, Whats wrong with that?

Brad: Well, Nothing....But.....

Kim: Brad, Homosexuals like people of the same gender....They're not aliens!

Brad: I Know....But c'mon. Dont you think its kinda....Weird?

Kim: You Know, They say that people that feel uncomfortable around gay people may be covering up the homosexual tendencies they have themselves.

Brad: I Am NOT Gay!

Kim: I Wouldnt care if you were.

Brad: Yeah, But i'm not!

Kim: Whatever you say...

*Kim starts to walk off.*

Brad: Kim, I Am NOT Gay!!!

Kim: Ok, I Believe you!

*Kim walks towards the cupboard and digs out some bread.*

Brad: I Know what you're thinking....You think i'm just saying i'm not gay to cover up any Feelings i may have towards men that would make me feel awkward and embarassed, But i assure you i dont have ANY Feelings like that towards anyone but girls!

Kim: So How come you dont have a girlfriend?

Brad: I Dont know....I Guess i just havent found the right girl yet.

Kim: Oh....Ok.

*Kim walks towards the fridge and digs out some Ham, Then walks over to the counter with it and puts it on the bread.*

Brad: Just because i dont have a girlfriend doesnt mean i'm Gay, Adam & Jeff dont have girlfriends either! ALOT Of straight guys my age dont have girlfriends.

Kim: I Didnt say a word!

Brad: No, But you thought it!

Kim: *Laughs* Brad, Why are you getting so defensive about this?

Brad: Because you think i'm gay.......I AM NOT GAY!

Kim: *Laughs* Ok!

*Kim walks off eating her sandwich as Brad stays silent for a few seconds.*

Brad: I'm One of the straightest guys you'll ever meet!

*Kim gives a thumbs up without saying a word before walking into her room.*

Brad: So Not Gay....Nope.....Not me.

*Brad sits down at the table and starts thinking for a few seconds.*

Brad: UGH.....I Gotta get this off my head......*Looks at radio* I Know...

*Brad walks up to the radio and plugs it in.*

Brad: A Little music should clear my mind.

*Brad turns the radio on As The Chorus of "Its Raining Men" Plays and he immediately turns it off.*

Brad: Ok, That didnt help....

*Dean Sanders is shown getting in his car. He starts it up and is about to back out of his driveway when Adam pops up in his backseat.*

Adam: Hiya Dean!

Dean Sanders: COLLINS....WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Adam: I Wanted to talk to you about my Paper, But for some reason you Never let me in your house and whenever i call theres no answer.

Dean Sanders: Thank God for caller ID,

Adam: Listen Dean Sanders, I Just need a few more days...

Dean Sanders: For the last time, Collins...I Am NOT Going to give you an extension on your paper!

Adam: But i have so much going on outside of school right now. What, With the new Fall TV Schedule and all.

Dean Sanders: The answer is No! Now get out of my car!

Adam: Dean Sanders, I May as well warn you....I Am a very persistent person. I'm Just gonna keep on asking.

Dean Sanders: And i'm going to keep on saying No, So dont waste your time!

Adam: We'll see about that...

*Adam looks at Dean Sanders with an evil grin and squinty eyes as Dean Sanders looks at him for about 5 seconds, Then Looks annoyed.*

Dean Sanders: Just get out of my car, Collins.

Adam: Ok....I'll stop......For Now. But be warned....I Will Continue asking. I Will show up when you least expect it. Whenever you dont expect me to be there....I'm gonna be there.

Dean Sanders: Oh, You're finally going to show up to class?

Adam: *Laughs* That was a good one, Dean.

Dean Sanders: OUT! OUT! OUUUUUT!

Adam: Do i sence a negative attitude?

*Dean Sander's car speeds out into the road. A Few seconds later the door goes flying open and Adam is shown being thrown out into a Ditch as the car speeds off faster down the road.*

Adam: *Yeling* HEY DEAN....YOU FORGOT TO FASTEN YOUR SEATBELT!

*Mr. Munson's apartment is shown as theres a knock on the door. Mr. Munson answers it and sees Brad in the doorway.*

Mr. Munson: Yes, Mr. Fulton?

Brad: Can i have your opinion on something, Mr. Munson?

Mr. Munson: Whats That?

Brad: Do you think I'm.....Manly?

*Mr. Munson goes silent and gives Brad an emotionless stare.*

Brad: I Know its kind of a weird question....But i'm kinda going through something right now.

Mr. Munson: Yes....Dont we all.

Brad: You mean you know what i'm going through?

Mr. Munson: Not At All.

Brad: *Sighs* Thanks anyway, Mr. Munson.

*Brad walks off as Mr. Munson closes the door. Mr. Munson then stops and thinks for a second with an odd and confused Look. Brad is then shown walking outside.*

Brad: I'm Manly...I Think.....

*"Macho Man" By The Village People Plays as Brad is shown sitting in a steakhouse as a waiter brings him a big juicy steak. Brad starts to dig in...Then is shown later with barely any of the steak eaten and looking full as the waiter brings his check back and laughs. Brad is then shown sitting at a table with a big trucker about to arm wrestle, The trucker then quickly brings Brad's arm down as the waiter raises the trucker's hand. Brad is then shown on a mechanical bull and puts the change in as it starts to ride off, It then starts going faster and Brad goes flying across the room. Brad is then shown in the bathroom and walks up to a urinal. He starts to pee and looks down a bit curious, Another guy then walks in and starts to pee in the urinal next to him....Brad Looks down at himself peeing, Then quickly looks over at the other guy for a glance of "Who's Is Bigger?", The other guy sees Brad Looking and gets an angry look on his face as Brad looks horrified before zipping up and running off. Brad is then shown at a table with a Jock Looking guy in a College Football jacket about to arm wrestle. The Jock quickly brings Brad's arm down as the waiter walks up and raises the Jock's arm in the air. Brad is then shown walking into a gym and walks up to the weights. Brad gets under it and attempts to lift it for about 20 seconds but cant. Brad then gets up as a 12 year old looking boy gets under the weights and starts lifting them a few times. Brad is then shown at a table with an old lady about to arm wrestle....About 10 seconds goes by as both of them struggle, The old lady then brings Brad's arm down and the waiter walks up and raises the old lady's arm as she jumps up and starts dancing in celebration.*

Brad: Unbelieveable...

*The Music then stops as a fast food place is shown. Dean Sanders walks up to the counter and sees an employee with his back turned.*

Dean Sanders: Excuse me. I'd like to order a double bacon burger and a chocolate milkshake.

*The Employee turns around revealing he is Adam.*

Adam: *Raises Pack Of frys* Would you like fries with that?

Dean Sanders: COLLINS?!

Adam: Give me an extension on my paper and i'll throw in some extra bacon. *Winks*

Dean Sanders: I'm suddenly not very hungry...

*Dean Sanders runs out the door as Adam looks on with squinty eyes. The restaurant manager then walks up to Adam.*

Manager: Hey....You dont work here.

Adam: Uhhh...

*Adam runs off, Then quickly runs back and grabs the pack of frys, Then runs off again as the Manager Looks confused. The apartment is shown again as Kim is sitting on the couch when Jeff walks In.*

Jeff: I Cant believe this...

Kim: Whats wrong, Jeff?

Jeff: I Lost ANOTHER Job...

Kim: Wow...Thats the 3rd one this week. I Thought the bowling alley job was going good.

Jeff: It was up until tonight. *Rolls Eyes* Apparently they get mad if i take an hour to disinfect the bowling shoes.

Kim: They fired you because it took you an hour to disinfect all the bowling shoes?

Jeff: No....One Bowling shoe.

Kim: It took you an hour to disinfect one bowling shoe?!

Jeff: Uhh Hello, Those things are Unsanitary!.....It Pains me to think of all the sweaty feet that go in one of those during the course of one night.

*Kim Laughs as Jeff Looks disgusted.*

Kim: I'm gonna go To the store, Want anything?

Jeff: No Thanks.

Kim: Ok, See ya later.

*Kim walks out as Brad walks In and closes the door.*

Brad: Jeff...I Need you to do me a favor.

Jeff: Sure Brad, What is it?

Brad: I Need you to kiss me.

Jeff: WHAAAAAAA?

Brad: *Sighs* I'm kinda going through some confusion right now. I Need to find out if i'm gay or not, And the only way i can do that is to kiss a guy.

Jeff: I'm Not kissin' you! Thats Unsanitary!

Brad: I'll give ya 20 bucks.

Jeff: No.

Brad: 30 Bucks.

Jeff: No.

Brad: 40 bucks.

Jeff: Make it 50 and never speak of this again.

Brad: *Sighs* Deal.

*Brad & Jeff Look at each other, Both looking extremely nervous and awkward. Brad then starts to move closer.*

Jeff: Just get this over with...

Brad: Ok....

*Brad slowly gets closer to Jeff, Then puts his arms around him and starts to kiss him when Mr. Munson walks In.*

Mr. Munson: Sorry for barging in, But could i borrow some eggs and...*Sees Brad & Jeff Kissing and Looks horrified*...........Sugar.

Brad: MR. MUNSON, ITS NOT WHAT YOU...

Mr. Munson: No Need to explain.......I'm Just going to go home and......wash my eyes out.....With acid.

*Mr. Munson walks out as Brad & Jeff Look embarassed.*

Jeff: Hey Brad...

Brad: Yeah?

Jeff: Do anything for ya?

Brad: Not really...Aside from the fact that it was the most uncomfortable and horrifying experience of my life.

Jeff: I Need Mouthwash...

Brad: Me too.

*Jeff & Brad make a run for the bathroom. Dean Sanders is then shown walking into his house and closes the door. He takes his coat off and opens the closet, Which Adam is standing in, And hangs his coat in it before closing the closet. He starts to walk away, Then stops and thinks a second and opens the closet back Up.*

Adam: *Smiles* Welcome Home, Dean.

Dean Sanders: COLLINS....THIS IS GETTNG RIDICULOUS!

Adam: Can i have my extension?

Dean Sanders: Tell you what, You can have your extension....*Pulls Money out of his pocket and hands it to Adam* And 50 dollars...IF YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

Adam: *Smiles* Thank You, Dean....*Looks down and lifts up high heel* Your wife's Shoes smell Really Nice by the way.

*Dean Sanders pulls Adam out of the closet and brings him over to the door, Then opens it, Shoves him out and closes the door. Dean Sanders then starts to walk away when theres a knock on the door. Dean Sanders Looks annoyed, Walks back and opens the door. Adam is shown standing there with the high heel still in his hand.*

Adam: Can i keep the shoe?

*Dean Sanders closes the door on Adam again and walks off. The apartment is then shown the next night as Kim, Adam & Jeff are all dressed up and ready to go when Brad walks out Dressed Up.*

Brad: I Decided i'll take your brother up on his invitation and go with you guys.

Kim: Why the change of heart?

Brad: Because after a period of questioning and soul searching, I Have discovered that while i am not personally a homosexual....That homosexuals are just as human as i am, And theres no reason i should feel uncomfortable around them or treat them any differently than anyone else.

Kim: Well Brad, I'm glad you feel that way. I Was just joking about you being gay anyway...*Laughs* Its not like i could picture you kissing a guy or something.

*Brad & Jeff look at each other horrified, Then start to fakely laugh.*

Brad: Haha...Yeah....Talk about crazy.

*The 4 walk out.*



*The End credits start to roll down as a split screen appears with the end of the episode. Jeff is shown sitting in a chair and molding pottery as "Unchained Melody" By The Righteous Brothers plays. Brad then walks into the room and looks over at Jeff, Then takes his shirt off and sits behind Jeff. Brad then puts his arms around Jeff's waist and helps him with the pottery. Jeff's face is shown with a big smile as his eyes start to close, Brad then starts to blow in his ear. Jeff then slowly tilts his head to the side as Brad puts his face closer and they're about to kiss....Mr. Munson is then shown waking up in bed extremely sweaty.*

Mr. Munson: AHHHHHHHHHH!......*Looks around and realizes it was a dream.*....Thats It....I'm never going to sleep, Again.

*Mr. Munson stands up out of bed and walks out of his bedroom as the scene fades.*

[Cactus Jack]

Ok I have tears in my eyes now THAT WAS HILARIOUS! BRAVO!

[Stormtracker TF]

LOL Chad, that was awesome. Definetly the funniest one yet.

[Chad22]

Thanks, Guys.

[Cactus Jack]

Originally posted by Matt Camden
Thanks, Guys.

Youre welcome!

[Zuzzy]

That was really funny!

[robyrob]

[EmoJoe]

[Cactus Jack]

Re reading all of these cause I randomly remembered it,still HILARIOUS,but also that's awesome you put Nick Offerman as the trucker and this is 5 years before Parks and Rec,so now I have the imagine of Ron Swanson as a gay trucker LOL