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08-30-2004, 09:15 PM
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#1 |
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oh, you pretty things
Forum 3000 Club Member
Join Date: Jan 21, 2002
Location: New York
Posts: 3,841
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A Division In Crisis
Okay so me and Emma (a.k.a MovieHuntress) decided to write a fic together. It'll include all the characters so it's pretty much a fic for everyone. Enjoy.
 ************** Dr. Phil: On today's show, we have a woman who is having a major problem with her co-workers. We've got Mrs.Robinsons, eavesdroppers, control freaks; we've got everything on today's show. Stay tuned. *music plays* Dr. Phil: Okay guys. On today's show we have Jinny. She's the one I told you about; the one complaining about her co-workers. So we're going to talk to her and her co-workers to see if we can fix whatever may be going on. So, Jinny. Tell me the problem. Jinny: Well Dr. Phil...I just. These people are so...out there like you wouldnt believe. I mean, I am no where near sane myself, but these people that I work with are just...they're just crazy. Dr. Phil: What makes them so crazy? What do they do? Jinny: Well, my captain. God. She's in her fifties. She's the biggest Mrs.Robinson I know. She never dates anyone her own age. Its just...bad. Dr. Phil: Okay. What else is going on? Jinny: My partner, Magda, she has control issues. She's just...everything has to go her way. And she has this insane "Holier Than Thou" attitude. It drives everyone crazy. And Raina. Oh God. She's so nosey. She feels the need to know everyone's business. She can't keep a secret to save her damn life. Dr. Phil: Alright, we're gonna take a break. Next, what one man caught on tape. ***COMMERCIAL BREAK*** Random Voice: Coming up on Dr.Phil. *CLIP* Dr.Phil: What are you thinking?!? You keep sleeping around like that and you're going to end up being diseased, raped or killed. ******* Dr.Phil: Okay, so we're back with Jinny, the woman complaining about her co-workers. And now we have Kate. She's the Mrs.Robinson Jinny mentioned earlier. So, Jinny, explain to Kate what the problem is. Jinny: Okay. Listen, Cap. You just...you need to start dating men your own age. Its getting ridiculous. You hunt down and prey on all these young vulnerable men. And for what? Sex. Its disgusting. Dr.Phil: Okay. Can y'all hold on a minute. We have a clip of Kate doing "the dirty." A young man caught this on tape by accident. And for y'all at home....we can't show this on daytime television. ***Clip Plays*** Dr. Phil: Now, Kate, how do you feel about that clip? Kate: There's nothing wrong with it. Dr. Phil: There's nothing wrong with it?!? Woman, you were having sex in a public area with a man half your age and you think there's nothing wrong with that? Kate: Dr.Phil, look at me. I'm 53 and I look good. I've got it and I can flaunt it any way I choose. Dr. Phil: Not when it's in public. Jinny: He's right Cap. You've got to stop. Kate: Jinny, just stay out of this. I live my life the way I choose. Dr. Phil: Kate, the woman is trying to help you here. Maybe you need help. Kate: No, I dont. I'm fine. Things are fine. My life is great. Dr.Phil: What are you thinking?!? You keep sleeping around like that and you're going to end up being diseased, raped or killed. *APPLAUSE* Dr.Phil: Next, a woman who cant mind her own business |
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Last edited by consentida; 09-01-2004 at 12:47 AM. |
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08-30-2004, 09:26 PM
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#2 |
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Member
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Join Date: Mar 23, 2004
Location: Lost? I was looking for my way, but took a wrong turn, and will be forever lost.
Posts: 248
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OMG You two are CRAZY!!!!!!!!! BUt you know me I LOVE crazy... If, ur looking for a crazy time Call Michelle at I-800Crazy. Okay sorry.... I love this... keep going! Yep you must keep going. And what I find even more funny is that fact that Jinny is the one being the sane one. Well for the moment anyway the shows not over yet. SO that means you must post more!!!!! yep!
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Val: Hey Karen, Guess who’s pregnant? Karen: (smiles): NOT ME! Val: Kate is! (that’s Brian’s fiancé. Val looks at Brian and Kate). Their getting married. Both Mac and Karen: Congratulations ( they both hug Brian and Kate.) Karen: (looks at Brian).: So I take it your mother doesn’t know? Brain: No. Val: (smiles excitedly). : Ohhhhh, let me tell her!! (everyone starts cracking up). Then Karen’s son and Mac’s stepson Michael and his wife pull up, and get out of the car. Karen: Michael what a surprise. What are you doing here? (Abby walks out side from Karen’s house, and she sees her nephew and. Michael: Aunt Abby. (He waits a beat then says) we’re going to have a baby! (Karen and Mac just stand there stunned for a minute. Abby: (Hugs Michael) Congratulations. A baby. (She starts walking past Karen.) Karen: (Still in shock) A baby? Abby: (does a double take). And... Karen....that means your going to be a...(starts laughing but trying to stop herself...but she just keeps laughing. Kate: Abby I don’t think you want to be laughing right now. Abby: (still trying to keep herself from laughing, but can’t help herself from laughing). : I can’t help it....(laughs) It’s just kind of struck me funny. (still laughing). Karen: Brian, why don’t you share your wonder full news with your mother. Brian: (trying to keep a striate face as well Gary, and Val give each other a high five. And everyone is laughing at this point. Brian clears his throat ) Ahemmm... ( the camera goes back to Karen and Abby. Abby realizes what’s going on now, and isn’t happy at all while Karen and everyone else is cracking up! Gary: (Camera shot back really quick to Gary, Val, Brain, and Kate. Jokingly Gary says) Grandma!(camera goes back to Karen and Abby, and once again everyone is laughing, and the picture freeze on the two of them and end of show). |
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08-30-2004, 09:40 PM
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#3 | |
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#1 Actress ever
Forum Regular
Join Date: Oct 28, 2002
Location: "Over yonder"
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__________________
Howdy! :-D Stacy:Sorry to bother you. Cap:You've still got time to reconsider. Crazy is normal,and Normal is crazy! Optimism can be a real b!t(h sometimes. "I've discovered the hardest discovery to make is who you are."-Bonnie Bedelia. "It's Not reaching your dreams that counts. It's going towards them."-Cher Somebody once said(I don't remember who) "I know that God won't give me more then I can handle...I just wish he didn't trust me so much." <- - I liked that. God Bless EVERYONE ~Emma~ |
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08-30-2004, 10:53 PM
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#4 |
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NanCy rox!
Frequent Poster
Join Date: Jun 24, 2004
Location: DiVisionLand
Posts: 223
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LOve it! Keep going this ones great!
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~N a n c y~ L i d d l e J i n n y! T h e D i v i s i o n r 0 x! R I P T h e D i v i s i o n <3 T h a F a c t s o f L i f e f o r e v e r! ~J e s s i e G e r l~ 80's c h I L d My new screen name is JEthestrange I got rid of my old one..DiVizionBabe900 |
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08-31-2004, 12:52 AM
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#5 |
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CD and Nate Forever
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 18, 2003
Location: Stars Hollow (I wish!)
Posts: 1,780
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LMAO!!!! This is cracking me up!!!!!
 Post more soon!
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__________________
Nate: When somebody asks for the salt, you hand them the pepper, too, even if they didn't ask for both. You never separate the salt and the pepper. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Luke: Will you marry me? Lorelai: What? Luke: Anything to shut you up. |
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09-01-2004, 10:14 AM
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#6 |
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Member
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Join Date: Jul 23, 2004
Location: Hungary
Posts: 76
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Newbie wants more!
This start's hillarious! Although...."Kate: Dr.Phil, look at me. I'm 53 and I look good. I've got it and I can flaunt it any way I choose." *cough*57*cough*  But, hey who's counting? She is still the best!
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09-01-2004, 10:24 AM
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#7 | |
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#1 Actress ever
Forum Regular
Join Date: Oct 28, 2002
Location: "Over yonder"
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Quote:
 And they both look great for their age!Glad ya like the fic! actually all the credit goes to Tara for that post....and probably the next.....lol |
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09-01-2004, 11:18 AM
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#8 |
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Member
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Join Date: Jul 23, 2004
Location: Hungary
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Bonnie is 58 if my sources are right (born 46-03-25) but again who's counting...I'd like to look so young when I'm 50! How does she do it, that she looks 10 yrs younger, even in her films*wonders*
Anyways, can't wait to read more! The best thing about these fics that I can even picture the scenes in my head like a real (crazy) ep of the TD! 
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09-01-2004, 11:43 AM
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#9 | |
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oh, you pretty things
Forum 3000 Club Member
Join Date: Jan 21, 2002
Location: New York
Posts: 3,841
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Quote:
Ms. Bonnie is 56. MovieHuntress and I know for sure. We've been researching. There are a lot of things we know that other people probably don't. So, in case you wanna know something, just ask. And yeah..."Kate" is 53. 
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09-01-2004, 11:43 AM
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#10 | |
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oh, you pretty things
Forum 3000 Club Member
Join Date: Jan 21, 2002
Location: New York
Posts: 3,841
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Quote:
Don't forget the one after that, Emma. lol. Just joking. |
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09-01-2004, 11:57 AM
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#11 |
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oh, you pretty things
Forum 3000 Club Member
Join Date: Jan 21, 2002
Location: New York
Posts: 3,841
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Dr. Phil: Okay, now we have Raina.
Raina: Hi, Dr. Phil. Hey everybody. *Waves at the audience* Audience: Hi Raina. Raina: Is everybody doin good today? Audience: Yeah. Dr.Phil: *laughing* Okay Raina, thats enough. Raina: Oh, okay. Dr.Phil: Well, I heard through the grapevine that you love to gossip. Is that true. Raina: Of course. Who doesnt like to gossip? Jinny: Me. Kate: Me. Jinny: You're too damn busy being the subject of the gossip. Dr. Phil: Anyway, Jinny says that you're extremely nosey. She's mentioned that you're an eavesdropper. Raina: Me? An eavesdropper? No. I dont eavesdrop.I'm not nosey at all. Dr. Phil: No not at all. You're just in denial. How do I know? Because we have a clip of you relaying some gossip to someone at the workplace. Yep, that's right. We had hidden cameras all over the place. So whatever y'all have been doing for the last three months has been caught on tape. ***CLIP*** Raina: *watches and listens from her desk* Chief Patterson: I think it would be a good idea if we had lunch together this afternoon. Kate: Okay. Chief: Yeah, we need to discuss the Brackins/Martinez case. Kate: You got it Chief. Chief: I'll see you at two? Kate: *winks and nods* Sure. A few minutes later, Raina picks up the phone and dials a number. Raina: Ooooh, Magda. Guess what just happened. ***CLIP ENDS*** Dr.Phil: Stiil in denial? Raina: Okay okay, so I gossip a little bit. What's the harm in that? Dr.Phil: The harm in that is that you started a rumor that Kate was sleeping with the Police Chief and now Kate's been under a lot of scrutiny and criticism. Kate: Raina, why would I sleep with the chief? He's older than I am. Jinny: You're joking right??? Kate : Of course!......But I have not slept with the chief! .............yet Dr. Phil: Okay. we're gonna take a break. Up next, a young woman who is too eager to keep the peace.
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09-01-2004, 12:00 PM
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#12 | |
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#1 Actress ever
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Join Date: Oct 28, 2002
Location: "Over yonder"
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Quote:
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09-01-2004, 12:04 PM
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#13 | |
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Member
Occasional Poster
Join Date: Jul 23, 2004
Location: Hungary
Posts: 76
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Quote:
I got the birthdate from the Internet Movie Database, but maybe you know a better source? Wasn't Kate celebrating her 50th in a s2 ep? I'm getting confused....  Anyways either of you please post more! BTW consentida, the Behind closed doors is your fic isn't it? I loved that one too, I'm new here in the division universe, so I consumed that several-year fic in a weeklong gulp. Yummy! Oh yeah and I wanted to ask someone who knows better...what was that with M.J.Fox and Bonnie? I only saw the Star cover and was wondering.... |
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09-01-2004, 12:11 PM
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#14 | |
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oh, you pretty things
Forum 3000 Club Member
Join Date: Jan 21, 2002
Location: New York
Posts: 3,841
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Quote:
Season 2: Kate turned 50. Season 3: Kate turned 51. Season 4: Kate turned 52. Then there was a time lapse in season 4 because Jinny was pregnant. So, assuming that everything was pushed ahead about a year on the show, Kate would be 53. In an article in 1986, Bonnie said herself that she was only 38. Thus, making her birth year, 1948. And yes, Behind Closed Doors is my fic. Thanks for taking the time to read it. I know it's long and tedious, but thanks. As for Michael J. Fox, that's one thing me and Emma are still working on ( I make it seem like we're working on this big project or something). But nothing's come up yet. |
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09-02-2004, 01:06 AM
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#15 |
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CD and Nate Forever
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 18, 2003
Location: Stars Hollow (I wish!)
Posts: 1,780
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Awwww, funny post! More soon?
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