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07-26-2004, 03:02 AM
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#1 |
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Member
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 02, 2004
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,829
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Who's on first? (got this in an email)
If Abbott and Costello were still around today their famous sketch
"Who's on first?" might have turned out something like this.... COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT . . ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou. ABBOTT: Your computer? COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou. ABBOTT: What about Windows? COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows? COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows? ABBOTT: Wallpaper. COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software. ABBOTT: Software for Windows? COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? ABBOTT: I just did. COSTELLO: You just did what? ABBOTT: Recommend something. COSTELLO: You recommended something? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: For my office? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yes, for my office! ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows. COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? ABBOTT: Word. COSTELLO: What word? ABBOTT: Word in Office. COSTELLO: The only word in office is office. ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W". COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet? ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One. COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need! ABBOTT: Real One. COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 &4. Can I watch them? ABBOTT: Of course. COSTELLO: Great! With what? ABBOTT: Real One. COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do? ABBOTT: You click the blue "1". COSTELLO: I click the blue one what? ABBOTT: The blue "1". COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w? ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word. COSTELLO: What word? ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"! ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world. COSTELLO: It is? ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there. COSTELLO: And that word is real one? ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office. COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: I need money to track my money? ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer? ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge. COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? ABBOTT: One copy. COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money? ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money. COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! A FEW DAYS LATER . . ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off? ABBOTT: Click on "START" |
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__________________
The man who lends a helping hand is the true hero. |
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07-26-2004, 03:11 AM
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#2 |
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Semi-retired
Forum Veteran
Join Date: Jan 07, 2001
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,727
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Re: Who's on first? (got this in an email)
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07-26-2004, 04:50 AM
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#3 |
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Suburbanite Extrordinaire
Forum Star
Join Date: Dec 29, 2001
Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization
Posts: 16,588
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That's great!
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__________________
"I think I'll stroll up to the front to see how the shooting's going..." - Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Read my blogs! http://centralparkamisguide.com/ http://dvdcriticscorner.com Visit me on Facebook!http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641138880 Hey, I do the tweet thing too! http://twitter.com/TomLevier My shop of handmade items! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations |
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07-26-2004, 10:55 AM
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#4 |
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Member
Forum Star
Join Date: Aug 18, 2002
Posts: 16,052
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That's great. Those guys were funny.
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__________________
[ Last edited by Moonlight Lady; 07-26-2004 at 11:11 AM. |
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07-26-2004, 11:01 AM
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#5 |
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RonFingSwanson
Forum Idol
Join Date: Dec 09, 2001
Location: Santa Rosa Beach,FL
Posts: 103,099
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 LOL
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__________________
Id Love to help you Tracy, but I cant have sex with a black guy, Id lose my endorsement deal with NASCAR-Jenna Maroney,30 Rock April 17,2009 9:02 PM : 100,000th post! |
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07-26-2004, 12:02 PM
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#6 |
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Don't be afraid.
Frequent Poster
Join Date: Jun 30, 2004
Location: My House
Posts: 216
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You can download it at http://www.sitcomsonline.com/a.html
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07-26-2004, 09:53 PM
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#7 |
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...the hard way...
Forum 3000 Club Member
Join Date: Sep 01, 2003
Location: ...staring at my calendar, counting the days until the release of Moonlighting on DVD...
Posts: 3,580
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__________________
and loving and learning ...the hard way... |
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