"Things the cast members would never,ever say on the show...! - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

comet97 · 07-15-2004, 07:37 PM

Goober: "Andy,just cause yer' the big bad sheriff here in Mayberry,ain't no cause for me to give you 'big discounts' in my garage!"

Opie: "Every time I eat yer greasy breakfast Aunt Bea,I get the trots!"

Barney: "If I don't soon get a decent raise in pay Andy, Imma gonna hafta' find a better job somewheres else dammit!"

Andy: "The hell with everything …I'm goin' down to the 'Fishin' Hole',and catch me a biggin'…!"

Aunt Bea: Ooopieee! You forgot to finish that lovely fried mush I prepared for you young man. I don't give a dam if it does give you the 'Trots',finish it…!"

Your turn gang! (LOL)

Jimmy D.

Tundra Wolf · 07-23-2004, 12:05 AM

Opie: Paw, I hate your guts!

Andy: Now, Op that's not a very nice thing to say to your Paw.

Opie: It's true, you sick bastard!

Andy: That's it! I'm going to kill you! *grabs Opie by the neck, chokes him and he dies*

Barney: You killed Opie, now let's go kill Aunt Bea!

Andy: Okey Dokey, Smokey.

Barney: How dare you suggest that I'm Smokey? *shoots Andy and he falls to the ground*

Aunt Bea: *is in the kitchen washing dishes*

Barney: *comes in with a chainsaw and chops her head off and gallons of blood leak out* Now all that's left is... *shoots himself*

Sterling Holobyte · 07-23-2004, 12:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by HwTH212
Opie: Paw, I hate your guts!

Andy: Now, Op that's not a very nice thing to say to your Paw.

Opie: It's true, you sick bastard!

Andy: That's it! I'm going to kill you! *grabs Opie by the neck, chokes him and he dies*

Barney: You killed Opie, now let's go kill Aunt Bea!

Andy: Okey Dokey, Smokey.

Barney: How dare you suggest that I'm Smokey? *shoots Andy and he falls to the ground*

Aunt Bea: *is in the kitchen washing dishes*

Barney: *comes in with a chainsaw and chops her head off and gallons of blood leak out* Now all that's left is... *shoots himself*

Didn't I see that once in a low-budget horror flick?

Andy: Okey Dokey, Smokey.

comet97 · 07-23-2004, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by HwTH212
Opie: Paw, I hate your guts!

Andy: Now, Op that's not a very nice thing to say to your Paw.

Opie: It's true, you sick bastard!

Andy: That's it! I'm going to kill you! *grabs Opie by the neck, chokes him and he dies*

Barney: You killed Opie, now let's go kill Aunt Bea!

Andy: Okey Dokey, Smokey.

Barney: How dare you suggest that I'm Smokey? *shoots Andy and he falls to the ground*

Aunt Bea: *is in the kitchen washing dishes*

Barney: *comes in with a chainsaw and chops her head off and gallons of blood leak out* Now all that's left is... *shoots himself*

Boy HwTH212!, you're a REEEAL big AGS fan ain't cha? LOL

I can't top that one.

senor boogie woogi · 11-03-2004, 08:20 AM

Andy-"Ya Know Barn, Thelma Lou has a nice ass."

Barn (to Andy)-"Otis is dead. His meth lab blew up with him in it."

Helen Crump-"Andy, before we marry, you must know that I am into S&M and want a four way with Thelma and Barney. Thelma is game."

Floyd-Andy, did you see the Stones on Sullivan last night? Those kids rock!"

Gomer-"Ya know Andy, Barney has a nice ass."

Tundra Wolf · 11-03-2004, 08:54 PM

Andy: My head is taped to the TV in Strong Bad's basement!

Opie: I'm gonna go on www.homestarrunner.com now and check it out, Paw. *does so* Wow, that is you!

Andy: And I'll never ever ever ever ever ever write a song about Barney!

Barney: Write a song about me!

Aunt Bea: *runs in and starts singing a whacky Japanese song*

Barney: HOW DUMB! *throws a pie at Aunt Bea*

Aunt Bea: Ari Goto, Barney-kun! *dances*

Opie: Eet eez time for teh pie!!!11

Gomer: *comes in and chucks Aunt Bea out the window* I betcha yer all jealous huh little mother **** ******** ***** ******!!!!

Opie: Paw, what does **** ******** ***** ****** mean?

Andy: OPIE! WATCH YER MOUTH!!! *whips Opie and Opie dies*

Floyd: *runs in with a huge pair of scissors* HAIRCUT, ANYONE?!?

Andy: AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

Floyd: *runs up and cuts all of Andy's hair off so he's bald*

Andy: *whacks Floyd over the head with a frying pan and he collapses*

Barney: *eating popcorn* Dis is pure entertainment, homie G's. BLING BLING MY BRUTHAS!!!

Fin'

Tundra Wolf · 11-06-2004, 08:41 PM

Where is everuh-body?!

Tundra Wolf · 04-21-2005, 09:38 PM

BUMP my stories were cool!

treky · 04-23-2005, 02:16 AM

Andy: Hey Barn', you ever notice we never seem to arrest any black people?

07-15-2004, 07:37 PM	#1
comet97 LITB Fan Forever Frequent Poster Join Date: May 26, 2004 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 353	"Things the cast members would never,ever say on the show...! Goober: "Andy,just cause yer' the big bad sheriff here in Mayberry,ain't no cause for me to give you 'big discounts' in my garage!" Opie: "Every time I eat yer greasy breakfast Aunt Bea,I get the trots!" Barney: "If I don't soon get a decent raise in pay Andy, Imma gonna hafta' find a better job somewheres else dammit!" Andy: "The hell with everything …I'm goin' down to the 'Fishin' Hole',and catch me a biggin'…!" Aunt Bea: Ooopieee! You forgot to finish that lovely fried mush I prepared for you young man. I don't give a dam if it does give you the 'Trots',finish it…!" Your turn gang! (LOL) Jimmy D.
	__________________ Beavermania rules! Comet97

04-23-2005, 02:16 AM	#9
treky star trek fan Eternal Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 25, 2002 Location: Conshohocken, pennsylvania Posts: 14,490	Andy: Hey Barn', you ever notice we never seem to arrest any black people?
	__________________ the Clampetts are in a fancy Beverly Hills jewelry store. Granny points to a tray of rubies. Granny: "How much fer one o' them red diamonds?" clerk: "Madam, those are rubies." Granny: "OK ask her kin we buy one offa her." clerk: " The ruby I am talking about is not a lady." Granny: "Lissen, how she got them diamonds is her business. I'm just sayin' ask her kin we buy one from her."

07-23-2004, 12:05 AM	#2
Tundra Wolf Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jun 10, 2004 Location: New York Posts: 730	Opie: Paw, I hate your guts! Andy: Now, Op that's not a very nice thing to say to your Paw. Opie: It's true, you sick bastard! Andy: That's it! I'm going to kill you! grabs Opie by the neck, chokes him and he dies Barney: You killed Opie, now let's go kill Aunt Bea! Andy: Okey Dokey, Smokey. Barney: How dare you suggest that I'm Smokey? shoots Andy and he falls to the ground Aunt Bea: is in the kitchen washing dishes Barney: comes in with a chainsaw and chops her head off and gallons of blood leak out Now all that's left is... shoots himself

11-03-2004, 08:20 AM	#5
senor boogie woogi Banned Banned!! Frequent Poster Join Date: Feb 23, 2004 Posts: 107	Andy-"Ya Know Barn, Thelma Lou has a nice ass." Barn (to Andy)-"Otis is dead. His meth lab blew up with him in it." Helen Crump-"Andy, before we marry, you must know that I am into S&M and want a four way with Thelma and Barney. Thelma is game." Floyd-Andy, did you see the Stones on Sullivan last night? Those kids rock!" Gomer-"Ya know Andy, Barney has a nice ass."

11-03-2004, 08:54 PM	#6
Tundra Wolf Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jun 10, 2004 Location: New York Posts: 730	Andy: My head is taped to the TV in Strong Bad's basement! Opie: I'm gonna go on www.homestarrunner.com now and check it out, Paw. does so Wow, that is you! Andy: And I'll never ever ever ever ever ever write a song about Barney! Barney: Write a song about me! Aunt Bea: runs in and starts singing a whacky Japanese song Barney: HOW DUMB! throws a pie at Aunt Bea Aunt Bea: Ari Goto, Barney-kun! dances Opie: Eet eez time for teh pie!!!11 Gomer: comes in and chucks Aunt Bea out the window I betcha yer all jealous huh little mother ** **** * **!!!! Opie: Paw, what does **** * **** mean? Andy: OPIE! WATCH YER MOUTH!!! whips Opie and Opie dies Floyd: runs in with a huge pair of scissors HAIRCUT, ANYONE?!? Andy: AAAAAAAHHHH!!!! Floyd: runs up and cuts all of Andy's hair off so he's bald Andy: whacks Floyd over the head with a frying pan and he collapses Barney: eating popcorn Dis is pure entertainment, homie G's. BLING BLING MY BRUTHAS!!! Fin'

11-06-2004, 08:41 PM	#7
Tundra Wolf Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jun 10, 2004 Location: New York Posts: 730	Where is everuh-body?!

04-21-2005, 09:38 PM	#8
Tundra Wolf Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jun 10, 2004 Location: New York Posts: 730	BUMP my stories were cool!