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TJL · 06-27-2004, 07:27 PM

So my Grandmother died on Wednesday.

Too bad we had to read about it in the paper.

My Father's side of the family (he has a brother and four sisters)has been waging a sort of "cold war" if you will. For over fifteen years one aunt and my uncle has been on one side (with Grandma) against my Dad and the remaining aunts. Why? I don't know. It's been a long time since I've wondered myself.
My Grandmother was buried yesterday and my Father and his sisters weren't invited to the funeral. They wouldn't have known thier mother had died if one of my Aunts didn't flip through the obituaries in the local paper!
I am angered beyond belief that my Aunt and Uncle would do that to my Father and their sisters. I dont care what problems you have with your siblings, when your Mother dies, you pick up a phone and make a call!

I feel so bad for my Father. He deserved a chance to say goodbye to his Mother.

AKA · 06-27-2004, 07:32 PM

That's really awful. I'm so sorry, TJL.

Cactus Jack · 06-27-2004, 07:33 PM

Thats awful Im sorry TJL

Small Wonderian · 06-27-2004, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TJL
So my Grandmother died on Wednesday.

Too bad we had to read about it in the paper.

My Father's side of the family (he has a brother and four sisters)has been waging a sort of "cold war" if you will. For over fifteen years one aunt and my uncle has been on one side (with Grandma) against my Dad and the remaining aunts. Why? I don't know. It's been a long time since I've wondered myself.
My Grandmother was buried yesterday and my Father and his sisters weren't invited to the funeral. They wouldn't have known thier mother had died if one of my Aunts didn't flip through the obituaries in the local paper!
I am angered beyond belief that my Aunt and Uncle would do that to my Father and their sisters. I dont care what problems you have with your siblings, when your Mother dies, you pick up a phone and make a call!

I feel so bad for my Father. He deserved a chance to say goodbye to his Mother.

I'm really sorry about that, TJL.

Mijada · 06-27-2004, 07:36 PM

Sorry to hear about your grandmother. That sounds a lot like my family. It sucks when families don't get along and innocent family members end up suffering because of it. I haven't seen either of my parents in almost a year now and 2 of my brothers have no relationship with our mom at all. The only family members I see are my sister and her kids who also haven't seen my mom in years.

Penny Lane · 06-27-2004, 08:19 PM

My husband has gone through the same thing with his deranged sister. If my mom hadn't seen the obit in the newspaper of his mother he wouldn't have known . It's a sad state of affairs that his family has become. I don't know what your family's circumstances are but it sounds similar to his.

Pox on them!

julian bozo · 06-27-2004, 08:49 PM

I'm sorry TJL. I'm sure your grandmother is looking down from Heaven watching your dad and aunts.
I'm sure one day your uncle will regret it.
I have a uncle I can't stand.

TJL · 06-27-2004, 08:54 PM

Thanks for the kind words guys.

It's probably all for the best anyway. Things probably would have been strange at the funeral.

Besides, I was never good at funerals.

I'm not really a mourning person.

Humor helps me get through anger.

spunkygirl · 06-27-2004, 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TJL
So my Grandmother died on Wednesday.

Too bad we had to read about it in the paper.

My Father's side of the family (he has a brother and four sisters)has been waging a sort of "cold war" if you will. For over fifteen years one aunt and my uncle has been on one side (with Grandma) against my Dad and the remaining aunts. Why? I don't know. It's been a long time since I've wondered myself.
My Grandmother was buried yesterday and my Father and his sisters weren't invited to the funeral. They wouldn't have known thier mother had died if one of my Aunts didn't flip through the obituaries in the local paper!
I am angered beyond belief that my Aunt and Uncle would do that to my Father and their sisters. I dont care what problems you have with your siblings, when your Mother dies, you pick up a phone and make a call!

I feel so bad for my Father. He deserved a chance to say goodbye to his Mother.

I'm so sorry about your grandmother. I'm sorry that your dad didn't get to say goodbye.

Wow, I could never imagine my family doing that. I mean my dad and brother do not get along(too much alike) but I doubt they'd ever not want the other at their funeral.

That's just plain cruel.

Tuesday Weld · 06-27-2004, 09:47 PM

I'm really sorry to hear about that, TJL.

dawsongirl · 06-27-2004, 09:51 PM

That is childish. I'm sorry for your dad. Like you said, he should have been given a chance to say good bye to his mother. Some people can be so petty.

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 06-27-2004, 11:33 PM

Ugh, I'm sorry.

dandelion wine · 06-27-2004, 11:34 PM

Good grief, they sound just like a few members of my dad's family... the same ones who crapped all over everything the week my dad's father died in March.

TJL, I'm really sorry about the loss of your grandmother, that your father was never able to properly say goodbye to his mom and that you've had to deal with such unfair, cruel, petty behavior. Maybe it was for the best, but it's still not right.

Warm & Fuzzy · 06-28-2004, 12:37 AM

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother's death. Your father and your aunt/uncle's sisters should have been invited to the funeral, though. Yeah, that was quite cruel, I must agree.

Your family feud is very similar to that of my dad and my grandma. When she died, my dad wasn't invited to the funeral either. But somehow he found out about her death, and he went anyway. My dad and my mom-- they flew for 20+ hours on a plane just to pay their condolences. What a hoot.

Janice · 06-28-2004, 12:50 AM

I'm sorry about your Grandmother Tom. It's also very sad about the family rift. My husband has a similar rift going on in his family, and it's very sad. People get stubborn, and forget what they're even mad about in the first place half the time.

Sorry everything turned out this way for your family. Perhaps your father and his sisters can hold a memorial mass with friends and loved ones....with a luncheon afterwards. People could eulogize your Grandmother and share their memories of her, and pictures of her could be displayed. Not the same as a funeral, but a way of paying their respects in their own special way.

06-27-2004, 07:27 PM	#1
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	This Is My Family So my Grandmother died on Wednesday. Too bad we had to read about it in the paper. My Father's side of the family (he has a brother and four sisters)has been waging a sort of "cold war" if you will. For over fifteen years one aunt and my uncle has been on one side (with Grandma) against my Dad and the remaining aunts. Why? I don't know. It's been a long time since I've wondered myself. My Grandmother was buried yesterday and my Father and his sisters weren't invited to the funeral. They wouldn't have known thier mother had died if one of my Aunts didn't flip through the obituaries in the local paper! I am angered beyond belief that my Aunt and Uncle would do that to my Father and their sisters. I dont care what problems you have with your siblings, when your Mother dies, you pick up a phone and make a call! I feel so bad for my Father. He deserved a chance to say goodbye to his Mother.
	__________________ "I think I'll stroll up to the front to see how the shooting's going..." - Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Read my blogs! http://centralparkamisguide.com/ http://dvdcriticscorner.com Visit me on Facebook!http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641138880 Hey, I do the tweet thing too! http://twitter.com/TomLevier My shop of handmade items! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations

06-27-2004, 07:33 PM	#3
Cactus Jack RonFingSwanson Forum Idol Join Date: Dec 09, 2001 Location: Santa Rosa Beach,FL Posts: 103,099	Thats awful Im sorry TJL
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06-27-2004, 08:19 PM	#6
Penny Lane Butter Pie Forum Icon Join Date: Jul 03, 2001 Location: Beneath the blue suburban skies Posts: 51,270	My husband has gone through the same thing with his deranged sister. If my mom hadn't seen the obit in the newspaper of his mother he wouldn't have known . It's a sad state of affairs that his family has become. I don't know what your family's circumstances are but it sounds similar to his. Pox on them!
	__________________ Vulgarity is no substitute for wit- Lady Violet Crawley

06-27-2004, 09:47 PM	#10
Tuesday Weld I missed you all. hugs Forum Celebrity Join Date: Feb 02, 2003 Location: Having a great time. Posts: 22,285	I'm really sorry to hear about that, TJL.
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06-27-2004, 11:33 PM	#12
Pleasant Tomorrow Member Forum Addict Join Date: Feb 19, 2003 Location: New York Posts: 69,525	Ugh, I'm sorry.
	__________________ my name is ashlee Welcome! Everything is fine.

06-27-2004, 07:32 PM	#2
AKA Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 17, 2001 Posts: 15,746	That's really awful. I'm so sorry, TJL.

06-27-2004, 07:36 PM	#5
Mijada Spencers mom Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 02, 2001 Location: eastern US Posts: 4,093	Sorry to hear about your grandmother. That sounds a lot like my family. It sucks when families don't get along and innocent family members end up suffering because of it. I haven't seen either of my parents in almost a year now and 2 of my brothers have no relationship with our mom at all. The only family members I see are my sister and her kids who also haven't seen my mom in years.

06-27-2004, 08:49 PM	#7
julian bozo Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 30, 2001 Location: Cullman,Al,United States Posts: 1,534	I'm sorry TJL. I'm sure your grandmother is looking down from Heaven watching your dad and aunts. I'm sure one day your uncle will regret it. I have a uncle I can't stand.

06-27-2004, 08:54 PM	#8
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	Thanks for the kind words guys. It's probably all for the best anyway. Things probably would have been strange at the funeral. Besides, I was never good at funerals. I'm not really a mourning person. Humor helps me get through anger.

06-27-2004, 09:51 PM	#11
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	That is childish. I'm sorry for your dad. Like you said, he should have been given a chance to say good bye to his mother. Some people can be so petty.

06-27-2004, 11:34 PM	#13
dandelion wine ~ Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 20, 2003 Location: Behind the Couch Posts: 34,967	Good grief, they sound just like a few members of my dad's family... the same ones who crapped all over everything the week my dad's father died in March. TJL, I'm really sorry about the loss of your grandmother, that your father was never able to properly say goodbye to his mom and that you've had to deal with such unfair, cruel, petty behavior. Maybe it was for the best, but it's still not right.
	__________________ Fans of Jon-Erik Hexum Merry Christmas!

06-28-2004, 12:37 AM	#14
Warm & Fuzzy Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 02, 2001 Posts: 10,254	I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother's death. Your father and your aunt/uncle's sisters should have been invited to the funeral, though. Yeah, that was quite cruel, I must agree. Your family feud is very similar to that of my dad and my grandma. When she died, my dad wasn't invited to the funeral either. But somehow he found out about her death, and he went anyway. My dad and my mom-- they flew for 20+ hours on a plane just to pay their condolences. What a hoot.
	__________________ "To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world." ~Unknown

06-28-2004, 12:50 AM	#15
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	I'm sorry about your Grandmother Tom. It's also very sad about the family rift. My husband has a similar rift going on in his family, and it's very sad. People get stubborn, and forget what they're even mad about in the first place half the time. Sorry everything turned out this way for your family. Perhaps your father and his sisters can hold a memorial mass with friends and loved ones....with a luncheon afterwards. People could eulogize your Grandmother and share their memories of her, and pictures of her could be displayed. Not the same as a funeral, but a way of paying their respects in their own special way.