Loss and Change

[dawsongirl]

Does anyone has trouble dealing with loss and/or major changes in your life? And I don't necessarily just mean losing people.

The more the days go on, the less I can handle these things I find out. The only guy at work that I liked quit, and now, because it threw off my constancy, I've been really depressed for 3 days now. And I keep walking around the office seeing things that remind me of him...it's like in my mind he died.

Then there was moving out of my home of 16 years. I was depressed about that for weeks. And to a certain extent, I still am.


I wonder if I'm going crazy sometimes.

[Lady T]

Originally posted by dawsongirl
Does anyone has trouble dealing with loss and/or major changes in your life? And I don't necessarily just mean losing people.

The more the days go on, the less I can handle these things I find out. The only guy at work that I liked quit, and now, because it threw off my constancy, I've been really depressed for 3 days now. And I keep walking around the office seeing things that remind me of him...it's like in my mind he died.

Then there was moving out of my home of 16 years. I was depressed about that for weeks. And to a certain extent, I still am.


I wonder if I'm going crazy sometimes.

Change can be good, but change can also depress the hell out of you

[HuntingtonM15]

Yes, I really HATE major change. I'm not one to easily adjust to it.

[dandelion wine]

As good as I am about adapting to situations and whatnot, yeah it's safe to say that I have been in that boat before. About 15 years ago, my best friend moved away to be closer to her mom's family (out-of-state), which was pretty hard on me. She and I should've been sisters, so when she told me she wouldn't be coming back.. it hurt. Sure I had a best friend in high school, but not like her. We had so much in common, it wasn't even funny. We wrote faithfully every week, writing letters every day and we talked on the phone. I even went out to visit her during the summer and she came to stay with me, but it wasn't the same and I still miss her very much. My maternal grandparents moving away when I was still a kid, that did it too, because my grandmother was more of a mother to me than my own. Every weekend, every summer (all summer long practically), I was with them. I never really got over that.

But, no you're not going crazy.

[Sterling Holobyte]

Originally posted by dawsongirl
Does anyone has trouble dealing with loss and/or major changes in your life? And I don't necessarily just mean losing people.

The more the days go on, the less I can handle these things I find out. The only guy at work that I liked quit, and now, because it threw off my constancy, I've been really depressed for 3 days now. And I keep walking around the office seeing things that remind me of him...it's like in my mind he died.

Then there was moving out of my home of 16 years. I was depressed about that for weeks. And to a certain extent, I still am.


I wonder if I'm going crazy sometimes.

I think everyone feels that way sometimes. If they say they don't, they are either lying or they are just an airhead not living in the real world.
The things you mentioned, loss and change, are both a part of life, and how you deal with them depends on your attitude and point of view. The trouble is that when you are already depressed about some loss or change of life, more changes can seem like you are being overwhelmed because you tend to feel more anxiety about things.
That's what depression does! It feeds on your fears and anxiety making what might be small problems seem bigger. And you can't let it! Recognize that, and look it straight in the eyes and tell it to PISS OFF!
And then also try to find something else to occupy your mind so you don't dwell on it.
It may sound simplistic but I think that sometimes you just have to refuse to be overwhelmed by things that happen. And these things really do happen to everyone, so you aren't alone.

[¤I Love Clay Aiken¤]

Im the same way Cathy. When I had to transfer locations of my job when I worked.. I seriously cried a lot. I didnt cry over moving, I didnt cry at my school graduation, but I cried over leaving Shaws. Im still depressed about it now. I miss everyone down there so much, even the people I didnt know. Now up here, Im the 'new' girl.

[*Pleasant Tomorrow*]

I'm horrible with change, even if I do like excitement. I'll seriously get tears in my eyes sometimes after someone who was visiting leaves just because I'm going to miss the company. It's pathetic...

[Hollow]

I really feel like i have a totally different life than i did a year or 2 ago.. i've lost all my friends because they were treating me like ****, i'm anti social and hate everyone and everything, i hardly talk or leave my house, i have a handful of mental problems, my mom is gone, my dad only acknowledges my existence because i can clean the house and help him with the computer; otherwise he does nothing but treat me like **** (he started this right after my mom died and it really makes me wonder if he's always hated me but didnt do anything so my mom wouldnt get mad), i have a completely different taste in clothes and music, i left my old school that i'd gotten attached to and went to a public school where everyone hates me for god knows what, i've lost pretty much all my self esteem, and my opinions and thoughts about almost everything is completely different. i just look at the world as a depressing place now. all i really do anymore besides talking to you annoying people is sit in my room in the dark and cry or sleep. i was diagnosed with depression when i was 12 but it REALLY started to kick in around last thanksgiving and i even tried to kill myself. i threatened to kill myself last february or so and my dad took me to the emergency room and almost to an insane asylum. my friend found out and wrote me a note that said if i ever need anyone to talk to i can talk to her.. well shes really the only friend i have. i dont think i'd want to talk to her about it though because she'd think i'm a complete psycho, just like anyone else would. i'm emotionally scarred and i know always will be but inside i feel like i'm the same person i've always been. i've come to the conclusion that i will always be treated badly by everyone no matter what because that's just how its been my entire life. before alot of this stuff happened, i thought about it and thought it would NEVER happen to me. i used to think about what it would be like if my mom died and how i would feel but i figured it would never happen to me. and when it did i was in shock, but i actually didnt feel as much pain as i thought i would. maybe because i sort of knew she was gonna die soon, she had cancer.. and i was over it in a week or 2. i can never go in a doctors office anymore without getting the same feeling i got whenever i went to see her in the hospital. i guess i am good with change because of everything that has happened and i'm still here. i dont mean wearing different clothes, but my friend dying, losing my mom and my parents almost divorcing (the long story behind it) and it doesnt directly affect me at all now. though my dad did say that my mental problems are getting out of control and if they keep getting worse he's gonna send me to a home for people like that for as long as i have them, which could be for life, and i really don't want that to happen..

[robyrob]

i've actually gotten used to moving around and not really caring where we are living or what changes; i just calculated that in the past 5 years i have moved 13 times and lived in 5 different cities

robyn is sick of it though, so we are staying put for awhile - it is really tough to have to start all over again when you've just started to get comfortable living in one place.

[Penny Lane]

I have always had a problem with change. But I have learned that life goes on anyway so the older that I get the more I accept change. But I still don't like it!

Are you a Taurus Cathy? Taurean's are very constant, change hating creatures! I am a true Taurus!

[GMunster]

Well, here's how I think of things. Change can only affect you, if you want it to affect you. So why feel bad over something and make things more difficult for yourself? Explore this new change, make something good out of it, don't focus on all the bad.


(P.S. I did the best I could to NOT make myself sound like Dr. Phil.)

[webuster]

I don't do well with change either, especially with going back to school or changing schools- everyone else on our first days in new schools cope brilliantly- but not me! Ocassionally I want to try change but I just can't- too set in my own ways. However, over the past 5 months I think my life's changed a little.

[Chelsea]

Change doesn't bother me that much. Won't sit here and say it never bothers me at all, but, I don't really see MOST change as THAT big a deal

[Tuesday Weld]

I'm not good with change AT ALL. It's quite a long story to explain what I mean, but I just don't adjust to life's changes well, at all.

[Chocoholic]

Sometimes, I don't mind change too much, other times, I think change just stinks. It definitely sucks when people you love move on out of your life, but the people you can't stand stick around.