Why did the Chicken Cross The Road? - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Cactus Jack · 06-24-2004, 03:02 PM

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.

KEN STARR:
I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the President of the United States of America in an effort to distract law enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he co-operates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until our investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least to ruffle his feathers.)

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes!
The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed,
I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE:
It is in the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN:
What chicken?

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook-and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?

¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ · 06-24-2004, 03:07 PM

LMAO I like the Grandpa one.

Rhiannon · 06-24-2004, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by "Weird" Jack Wilso-vic
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain.

RONALD REAGAN:
What chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?

Hollow · 06-24-2004, 05:58 PM

i saw that a while ago.

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 06-24-2004, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by safety pin
i saw that a while ago.

Me, too.

But it rules...though

-*Forever*- · 06-24-2004, 08:25 PM

Quote:

GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

FOX MULDER:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook-and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?

Those ones are AMAZING.

Brent88 · 06-24-2004, 08:35 PM

EmoJoe · 06-24-2004, 08:39 PM

Chocoholic · 06-25-2004, 10:23 AM

That one always makes me laugh.

Kay Scarpetta · 06-25-2004, 11:52 AM

those are awesome

I love the Bill Gates one

David · 06-25-2004, 12:01 PM

That was good

Cactus Jack · 06-25-2004, 12:05 PM

Thanks everyone! I thought it was pretty funny too

david&maddie4ever · 06-25-2004, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by "Weird" Jack Wilso-vic
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain.

EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

06-24-2004, 03:02 PM	#1
Cactus Jack RonFingSwanson Forum Idol Join Date: Dec 09, 2001 Location: Santa Rosa Beach,FL Posts: 103,099	Why did the Chicken Cross The Road? Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that. KEN STARR: I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the President of the United States of America in an effort to distract law enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he co-operates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until our investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least to ruffle his feathers.) PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American. DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told! ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. ARISTOTLE: It is in the nature of chickens to cross the road. KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability. SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. RONALD REAGAN: What chicken? CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it? FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook-and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken. EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please? LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down. THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
	__________________ Id Love to help you Tracy, but I cant have sex with a black guy, Id lose my endorsement deal with NASCAR-Jenna Maroney,30 Rock April 17,2009 9:02 PM : 100,000th post!

06-24-2004, 03:07 PM	#2
¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ MISS APRIL Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 19, 2001 Location: Parsonsfield ME Shaws - Screwing my way up the employment ladder! Posts: 68,780	Re: Why did the Chicken Cross The Road? LMAO I like the Grandpa one.
	__________________ DAVID COOK FOR AMERICAN IDOL

06-24-2004, 08:35 PM	#7
Brent88 Member Forum Star Join Date: Aug 01, 2003 Location: Alabama Posts: 16,174
	__________________ Brent

06-24-2004, 08:39 PM	#8
EmoJoe Cool cool cool Forum Addict Join Date: Apr 23, 2004 Location: New Jersey Posts: 71,478
	__________________ "I know the difference between TV and reality, Jeff. TV has structure, it makes sense, there are likable leading men. In real life, we have this. We have you." - Abed Nadir, Community www.sitcomsarestupid.blogspot.com

06-25-2004, 11:52 AM	#10
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	those are awesome I love the Bill Gates one
	__________________ The people who think they know everything about Broadway make me laugh. They've never seen a Broadway play in their life. "oh mi godddd RENT's a mooovie! lyke 525600 minuuuuuuutes!" No. To be a Broadway Freak, you must live, eat, sleep, study, devout, think, obsess, dream, believe Broadway. You must know original & revival casts, soundtracks, performance runs, dates, theatres, numbers, how many Tony Awards A Chorus Line won. You must be Broadway. That's right bitches. I AM Broadway.

06-24-2004, 05:58 PM	#4
Hollow Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Dec 16, 2001 Posts: 30,406	i saw that a while ago.

06-25-2004, 10:23 AM	#9
Chocoholic Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 01, 2000 Location: Between a rock and a hard place. Posts: 11,235	That one always makes me laugh.

06-25-2004, 12:01 PM	#11
David mcphee. Forum Superstar Join Date: Jan 30, 2003 Location: jacksonville, FL. Posts: 28,115	That was good
	__________________ v. 39 - katharine and chris elliott, you rock.

06-25-2004, 12:05 PM	#12
Cactus Jack RonFingSwanson Forum Idol Join Date: Dec 09, 2001 Location: Santa Rosa Beach,FL Posts: 103,099	Thanks everyone! I thought it was pretty funny too