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Old 06-02-2004, 01:56 PM   #1
Bea
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Default South Park songs by the HD gang

Uncle ****a
Lyrics: Trey Parker
Music: Trey Parker
Performed by Ralph, Potsie and the rest of the gang.

RALPH:
Shut your ****ing face, Uncle ****a..
You're a **** sucking, ass licking, Uncle ****a..
You're an Uncle ****a, yes it's true..
Nobody ****s uncles quite like you!
POTSIE:
Shut YOUR ****ing face, Uncle ****a..
You're the one that ****ed your uncle, Uncle ****a..
You don't eat or sleep, or mow the lawn..
Just **** your uncle all day long!
CHORUS:
****a ****a, Uncle ****a Uncle ****a Uncla ****a..
RALPH AND POTSIE:
Shut your ****ing face, Uncle ****a!
You're a boner biting bastard, Uncle ****a!
RALPH:
You're an Uncle ****a, I must say..
POTSIE:
You ****ed your uncle yesterday!
RALPH AND POTSIE:
Uncle ****a, thats U, N, C, L, E, ****, you
RALPH, POTSIE AND CHORUS:
Uncle ****aaaaaaa..
POTSIE:
Suck my balls.

Officer Kirk's A Bitch
Lyrics: Trey Parker
Music: Marc Shaiman
Performed by Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli and co.

FONZIE:
Well, Officer Kirk's a bitch, he's a big fat bitch
He's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world..
He's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch
He's a Bitch to all the Boys and Girls!
On Monday, he's a bitch, on Tuesday, he's a bitch
On Wednesdays through Saturday, he's a bitch..
Then on Sundays, just to be different
He's a Super King Kamehameha.. Biatch!
FONZIE & THE GANG:
Have you ever met that crab Officer Kirk?
He's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world..
He's a mean old bitch, and he has stupid hair
He's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch!
Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch
FONZIE:
He's a Stupid bitch!
Offier Kirk's a bitch, and he's just a dirty bitch!
Talk to folks around the world..
and it might go a little bit something like this!
[Officer Kirk's a bitch in Chinese]
[Officer Kirk's a bitch in French]
[Officer Kirk's a bitch in Dutch]
[Officer Kirk's a bitch in (some kind of) African]
FONZIE & THE GANG:
Have you ever met that crab Officer Kirk?
He's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world..
He's a mean old bitch, and he has stupid hair
He's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch!
FONZIE:
Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch..
He's a Stupid Bitch!
Officer Kirk's a Bitch, and he's just a dirty bitch!
I really mean it, Officer Kirk..
He's a Big Fat ****ing Biiiitcchh!
Big old fat ****ing bitch, Officer Kirk
Heeey, whoa!

Chocolate Salty Balls
Lyrics: Trey Parker
Music: Trey Parker
Performed by Warren 'Potsie' Weber

2 tablespoons of cinnamon,
And 2 or 3 egg whites,
A half a stick of butter,
Melted.

Stick it all in a bowl baby,
Stir it with a wooden spoon,
Mix in a cup of flour.
You'll be in heaven soon

Say everybody have you seen my balls,
They're big and salty and brown.
If you ever need a quick pick me up,
Just stick my balls in your mouth.

Oh! Suck on my chocolate salty balls,
Stick 'em in your mouth and suck 'em.
Suck on my chocolate salty balls,
They're packed vitamins and good for you,
So suck on balls.

Pour in a cup of unsweetened chocolate,
And a half a cup of brandy
Then throw in a bag or two of sugar,
And just a pinch of vanilla,

Grease up the cookie sheet.
Cause I hate when my balls stick!
then preheat the oven to 350, and give that spoon a lick!

Say everybody have you seen my balls
They're big and salty and brown.
If you ever need a quick pick me up,
Just stick my balls in your mouth.

Oh! Suck on my chocolate salty balls,
Put 'em in your mouth and suck 'em.
Suck on my chocolate salty balls, they're packed full of goodness,
High in fiber, so suck on balls.

Hey, wait a minute, what's that smell.
It smells like something's burning.
Well, that don't pafer me none,
Long as I get my rent paid on Friday.

Baby, you better get back in the kitchen,
Cause I got a sneakn' suspition.
Oh man baby? baby!
You just burnt my balls!

Help me my balls are on fire,
Come on baby,
My balls are burning,
My balls are burning,
Gimme some water,
Pour some water on me!

My balls are burning! Oh my goodness,
Blow on them, blow on them, do something!

Oh! Suck on my chocolate salty balls,
Put 'em in your mouth and suck 'em.
Suck on my chocolate salty balls,
(Put 'em out, blow on 'em.)

Suck on my balls baby,
Suck on my balls baby,
Suck on my red hot salty chocolate balls!
Come on, baby,
Woo, woo, suck on my balls.

Huboon Stomp

Lyrics and msuic by Mark Motherbaugh and Gerry Casale.
Performed by The Band with Leather Tuscadero.

LEATHER:
Well I'm a Huboon Baby
I'm a cross between a human and an ape
I'm all gagged out
I'm gonna hoot, I'm gonna root, I'm gonna rape
People look at me and laugh
And make fun of my face
I laugh right back
I don't want to be part of the human race

Ha ha ha
I did it to myself
Now somebody's gonna be sorry!

I'm a Huboon Baby
Gonna mess around with all you fools
I'm all pumped up, I'm gonna rap, I'm gonna snap, I'm gonna rule
I had the operation, nothing else left to do
Well, looky here, I've been hurt,
I'm gonna hurt you

Now somebody's gonna be sorry
like all you wankers and you slime,
and all you right-winged pin heads,
Who make screwing a big crime
You titty twisted up my life,
and pissed on all my dreams
You made me hate myself,
Now come on, shoot me, set me free
WOO HOO,
Let's go

POTSIE:
He's a Huboon Baby, he's really all fudged up,
He's a Huboon Baby, he's really all fudged up,
He's a Huboon Baby, he's really all fudged up,

LEATHER:
I did it to myself
Now somebody's gonna be sorry

Well, I'm a Huboon baby,
I'll grow up to be the President
I'm all excited, I'm really tweaked, I'm really freaked, I'm really bent
Big town papas better hurry hide your little girls,
I'll drop thier bones I'll sniff 'em out round the world

Now, somebody's gonna be sorry,
All you wankers and you slime
And all you right-winged pinheads
Who make screwing a big crime
And you titty twisted up my life
And pissed on all my dreams
You made me hate myself
Now come on shoot me, set me free

I'm a Huboon Baby
I'm a cross between a human and an ape
I'm all gagged out
I'm gonna hoot, I'm gonna root, I'm gonna rape
People look at me and laugh
And make fun of my face
I laugh right back
I don't want to be part of the human race.

What Hell Child Is This?

Traditional arranged by Trey Parker.
Perfomed by Warren 'Potsie' Weber and Jennifer Jerome.

POTSIE:
Baby, you know there's a lot of love between us
Sometimes that love goes bad
But other times its so right!
Yeah, I know we've been through some rough waters
But most of the time our thing is off the hook!
I just want to know one thing...

What child is this
You've laid to rest
At my feet
This is not the time.
I know that I'm not responsible
It's white so it cannot be mine.

POTSIE AND JENNIFER:
No, this, this is Christ the King.
With a feeling of relief
I cannot sing.

Haste, haste to bring him laud
The Babe, the Son of Mary.
POTSIE:
Mmmmm, Son of Mary!
JENNIFER:
Son of Mary
POTSIE:
Little bitty baby!
JENNIFER:
Mary

POTSIE:
So, bring him incense, gold, and myrrh
Come peasant king to own Him.
The King of kings, salvation brings,
Let loving hearts enthrone Him.

POTSIE AND JENNIFER:
Raise, raise the song on high
The Virgin sings her lullaby.
Joy, joy, for Christ is born
The Babe, the Son of Mary.

POTSIE:
Son of Mary
JENNIFER:
Son of Mary
POTSIE:
Little bitty baby
JENNIFER:
Little bitty baby, yeah

POTSIE:
I'm gonna lay you down by the yule log
I'm gonna gonna love you right.
Baby, I'm gonna deck your halls
And silent your night!

You'll hear the herald angels sing
When I'm sliding off your bra.
I just can't wait to jingle your bells
And fa la la your la!
JENNIFER:
Fa la la your la

POTSIE AND JENNIFER:
This, this is Christmas Day
A time for lovers to celebrate.
I'm gonna ding dong you merrily on high
Because this is the season for giving!
JENNIFER:
Give it to me baby, give it to me baby

POTSIE:
...Season for giving
JENNIFER:
Season for giving, give me love!
POTSIE:
...Season for living
JENNIFER:
Season for living, give me love!
POTSIE:
...Season for giving
JENNIFER:
Season for giving
POTSIE:
...Giving you love
JENNIFER:
Give me love!

POTSIE:
...Giving you good love
JENNIFER:
Season for good love!
POTSIE:
...Whole lotta love
JENNIFER:
Give me love!
POTSIE:
...Making love
JENNIFER:
Season for giving
POTSIE:
...By the fire
JENNIFER:
Give me love!
POTSIE:
...Whole lotta love
JENNIFER:
Season for good love
POTSIE:
...By the fire
JENNIFER:
Give me love!

POTSIE:
...Don't need no mistletoe
JENNIFER:
Season for giving
POTSIE:
...You've got toes
JENNIFER:
Give me love!
POTSIE:
...Whole lotta loving
JENNIFER:
Season for good love!
POTSIE:
...Love
JENNIFER:
Give me love!
POTSIE:
...Jingle bells
JENNIFER:
Season for giving, give me love!
POTSIE:
...Fa la la your la.
JENNIFER: Season for good love, give me love!

Swiss Colony Beef Log
Lyrics: Trey Parker
Music: Trey Parker
Perfomed by Joanie Cunningham.

Stockings are hung on the chimney,
And the presents are under the tree,
And mama's in the kitchen
Making some herbal tea.

Windows are covered with frost
And the candles are all alight,
But as I wander through this quiet house,
Something just doesn't seem right.

You see, every year, the neighbors bring us
A Swiss Colony Beef Log.
But the neighbors aren't around (around, around)
There's no Beef Log to be found this year.

No Beef Log

Christmas isn't Christmas
Without a Swiss Colony Beef Log.
Without those cheeses and meats
I don't think I can get along.

Papa tries to comfort me;
He says "Here, Joanie, have some eggnog."
I ****ing hate eggnog, seriously.

But what do I see
Underneath the tree?
Grandma got a Swiss Colony Beef Log just for me!
Ah, ah, ah, Grandma!!

Swiss Colony Beef Log, baby!
That's what Christmas is all about!
A rolly poly Colony Beef Log Baby,
Makes a little boy scream and shout!

Deck the halls with boughs of Swiss Colony!
Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la!

Sweet!

Little Boy, You're Going To Hell
Lyrics: Trey Parker
Music: Trey Parker
Performed by the Band.

POTSIE:
Little boy at peace, what is this place....beyond the stars?
Open up you're eyes, what are these things....you're moving toward?
Head so full of wonder, worries in the past
Could it be that you are free at last?

RALPH, RICHIE AND POTSIE:
NO!!!!

POTSIE:
Little boy you're going to HELL!
You said bad words, threw rocks at the birds
And now this is your hotel!
POTSIE, RALPH AND RICHIE:
You ain't goin' back, this ain't Disneyland, it's HELL!

POTSIE:
Little boy, it's time for you to PAY!
For hurtin' that bird, not goin to church
And starin' at boobs all day,
POTSIE, RALPH AND RICHIE:
You ain't goin' back now you must stand in HELL!

POTSIE:
Hell isn't good, Hell isn't good, HELL!
Ooh Hell isn't good, Hell isn't good, HELL!
Oh Hell isn't good, Hell isn't good, HELL!

Lori Beth's **** Song
Lyrics: Trey Parker
Music: Trey Parker
Performed by Lori Beth Allen

Mrs. Landers was a health nut,
She cooked food in a wok.
Mr. Harris was her boyfriend,
And he had a great big..
****-a-doodle-doodle the rooster just won't quit,
And I dont want my breakfast,
Because it tastes like..
****zu's make good house pets,
They're cuddly and sweet,
Monkeys aren't good to have 'cos they like to beat their..
Meeting in the office a meeting in the hall,
The boss he wants to see you so you can suck his..
Ballsack was a writer he lived with alan funt,
Mrs Roberts didn't like him but that's cuz she's a..
Contaminated water can really make you sick,
Your bladder gets infected and blood comes out your..
Dictate what im saying 'cos it will bring you luck,
And it you all don't like it, I dont give a flying ****.

Please will someone ever tell me what the think of these rather lovely lyrics.
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Old 06-02-2004, 02:34 PM   #2
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LOL What the HECK?
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Old 06-02-2004, 02:38 PM   #3
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Old 06-04-2004, 06:25 AM   #4
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LOL


South Park Bigger, Longer, and Uncut= GREATNESS.

I love Uncle ***** and "Its Easy M'kay"
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Old 02-28-2005, 09:02 AM   #5
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Uncle ****er is a cool song
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Old 02-28-2005, 10:16 AM   #6
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...and why was it a good idea to bump this back up again?

i mean you just know that it is going to upset people again....
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Old 03-29-2008, 10:00 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robyrob
...and why was it a good idea to bump this back up again?

i mean you just know that it is going to upset people again....
Hang on a moment, robyrob, South Park kicks ass
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Old 03-29-2008, 12:16 PM   #8
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sure, but it has NOTHING to do with Happy Days

(except for the few HS references in a couple of episodes - but Cartman was lying anyways)

...besides which - isn't this part of the reason "Bea" got BANNED!
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Old 03-31-2008, 04:45 PM   #9
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you're right on that one, Race'sGirl! South Park rocks!
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