Favorite Quotations - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Chambers · 05-23-2004, 08:31 PM

I know there are a lot of Cheers quotations recorded in the internet, but there are a few that I love but couldn't find. So I had to transcribe them myself. It would be great if you all could contribute to what I hope will become a list of favorite Cheers quotations - there are so many wonderful ones.

One that I couldn't find anywhere on the internet (and I wanted it written exactly word for word) was this one:

Diane: Yes, I was obsessive compulsive about neatness. I demanded that everything be in its proper place. But now look at the laissez-faire attitude I have about my apron. Huh? Now in the old days I would have insisted that it be pencil, pen, pencil, pen, pad. Well now it doesn’t matter if its pen, pencil, pen, pencil pad...or pencil, pencil, pen, pen, pad...or even pencil, pen, pad, pencil, pen! [Looks down at her apron] There’s one thing I cannot have and that’s this: pad, pen, pen, pencil, pencil. That just irritates me. [Cliff and Norm get up to console Sam].

Now with season 3 coming out on DVD, there will be even more quotes I'll be able to get

!

Moondance · 05-24-2004, 07:07 PM

Rock on, DianeDiane!

I was watching Cheers on my local channel today and there was a scene that was cut from Nick at Nite; episode: SEND IN THE CRANE....at least I don't remember it being in there...but Frasier complains that the french underwear Lilith bought him was cutting off his circulation and he later went into the bathroom to remove them! hahaha!!! I loved when Lilith handed him that little underwear...she said, "I was sick of seeing you in boxers all the time." LOL Frasier holds it up and says, "Is it an eye patch?" hahahahaha!!!!!!

Feen

MaydayMalonesGirl · 05-24-2004, 09:21 PM

Here's two of my favorites:

Sam: I could get out of jail after twelve years, serve on an all male ship for another four, be dropped on a deserted island for another three, eating nothing but raw oysters day after day and if one day Diane walked out of the surf naked, all I'd want from her would be the hockey scores. Diane: And you would even get that!

[Diane has a nervous breakdown after deciding that the highest she'll ever go is a cocktail waitress] Sam: Maybe this little literary chat wasn't such a good idea..... wanna makeout?

I'll post more later.

Chambers · 05-28-2004, 09:52 AM

season 3, "Behind Every Great Man"

Frasier: I think it's part of Sam's grand design to win you back!
Diane: Oh, not this again. It's starting to sound like a broken record.
Frasier: Oh, so now you're saying that I'm redundant, that I repeat myself, that I say things over and over!

MaydayMalonesGirl · 06-07-2004, 04:02 PM

Frasier: Ok Sam, brace yourself. Me and Diane have decided to cohabitate. Sam: Whoa, right here in the bar. Hey I guess it's cheaper then a piano player.

[This one isn't completely right]
John Allen Hill: Is that my daughter's suitcase? Sam: Uhh... no. Thats mine. John: With her monogram...VH? Sam: Yes. It stands for... Van Halen. [John Opens suitcase] John: So I suppose this is your neglege? Sam: Ok secrets out. John, I'm a transvestite. John: In a size 7? Sam: Well yeah, I can squeeze in.

calvertfan · 06-12-2004, 08:05 AM

Lilith to Carla: I've taken your little wisecracks for a few years now, you hideous gargoyle, and if you ever open that gateway to hell you call a mouth in my direction again, I'll snap off your extremities like dead branches and feed them to you at gunpoint.

Norm: So, what kind of punishment yot getting?
Frasier: Oh, I'm not getting any.
Norm: Wow, you're getting off easy.
Frasier: No. I'm not getting any.

Candi: I'm Candi.
Frasier: So I see from your necklace. Candi with an "i".
Candi: Well, I used to spell it with a "y" but nobody ever took me seriously, so I switched it to an "i". You know, like Gandhi.
Frasier: Yes, yes. I understand that's why he did it.

Moondance · 06-12-2004, 02:43 PM

Frasier Crane: Oh, dear God.
Sam: What? What is it?
Frasier Crane: Lilith is carrying a dead rat in her purse. Why would she be carrying a dead rat in her purse?
Lilith: Just a wild guess: a snack?
***

Lilith: No, you don't understand. Usually, we don't get attached to the rats, but this one was so special. We even named him. Everyone in the lab called him Whitey.
Carla: Are you sure they weren't talking to you?
Lilith: No, Carla, they were talking about Whitey the rat.
Carla: Okay, I'll ask again. Are you sure they weren't talking to you?
***

Lilith: Well, I'm off. I don't know what the future holds. Whatever happens, I only hope I can realize my full potential. To acquire things the old Lilith never had.
Carla: Like a body temperature?
Lilith: That's very good, Carla. Incidentally, I've taken your little wisecracks for a few years now, you hideous gargoyle, and if you ever open that gateway to hell you call a mouth in my direction again, I'll snap off your extremities like dead branches and feed them to you at gunpoint.
***
Lilith: [to Frasier, in a fight] I described you in terms which were positively glowing, which is exactly how I'd like to see you in Hell.
***
Diane: What could be more enjoyable than opening your heart this holiday season?
Carla: Opening yours with a can opener?

Feen

MaydayMalonesGirl · 06-18-2004, 07:53 PM

Ok, I just watched this episode and had to post this.

[Diane thinks that Rick is rejecting the idea of meditation, but he's really rejecting the idea of having more sex] Diane- Wait a minute! Don't say it isn't the answer until you've tried it! Sam- No, diane Diane- Sam, excuse me. [to Rick] My name is diane. I've been doing this for years and I'll tell you I would be happy to teach you how to do it. Rick- Well Diane, thats very kind of you but...Diane-No,no,no. Please, do me the favor of trying it with me. Rick- [to Sam] Is she serious? Sam- Oh yes, shes very serious. She does it all the time.. she said so. Diane- Thats right. Rick- [gesturing to sam] do you two do it together? Diane- Are you kidding? Him? He'd just make jokes! Rick- Well ok then Uh, what time is good for you? Diane- Well personally, I like to get in atleast a half an hour in of it before breakfeast, but anytime is good for me. Rick- dog, I like you Diane- You know, there's something beautiful about experiencing outdoors. Rick- Uh, dont people stare at you? Diane- Yes, sometimes. But the end up learning something. Sometimes they even join in! You know, all this talk has gotten me excited. What the hell, lets do it now! Rick- Outside? Diane- Oh no, its a little cold out and I prefer to take my shoes off.

Yah, its a little long..

barwars · 06-18-2004, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MaydayMalonesGirl
Ok, I just watched this episode and had to post this.

[Diane thinks that Rick is rejecting the idea of meditation, but he's really rejecting the idea of having more sex] Diane- Wait a minute! Don't say it isn't the answer until you've tried it! Sam- No, diane Diane- Sam, excuse me. [to Rick] My name is diane. I've been doing this for years and I'll tell you I would be happy to teach you how to do it. Rick- Well Diane, thats very kind of you but...Diane-No,no,no. Please, do me the favor of trying it with me. Rick- [to Sam] Is she serious? Sam- Oh yes, shes very serious. She does it all the time.. she said so. Diane- Thats right. Rick- [gesturing to sam] do you two do it together? Diane- Are you kidding? Him? He'd just make jokes! Rick- Well ok then Uh, what time is good for you? Diane- Well personally, I like to get in atleast a half an hour in of it before breakfeast, but anytime is good for me. Rick- dog, I like you Diane- You know, there's something beautiful about experiencing outdoors. Rick- Uh, dont people stare at you? Diane- Yes, sometimes. But the end up learning something. Sometimes they even join in! You know, all this talk has gotten me excited. What the hell, lets do it now! Rick- Outside? Diane- Oh no, its a little cold out and I prefer to take my shoes off.

Yah, its a little long..

hahahaha

best
misunderstanding
ever

I love that one. That was, IMO.... the funniest moment in Season 1. I could've never quoted it.... but after reading it, it just doesn't have the same effect as watching it.
That's why books will never be as good as movies/tv.

Orville Kruger · 06-18-2004, 10:41 PM

When Coach proposed to that woman:
(I'm paraphrasing) "I'm not a tall man. I'm not a rich man. I'm not a smart man. I'm not a gingerbread man..."

MaydayMalonesGirl · 06-19-2004, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by barwars
hahahaha

best
misunderstanding
ever

I love that one. That was, IMO.... the funniest moment in Season 1. I could've never quoted it.... but after reading it, it just doesn't have the same effect as watching it.
That's why books will never be as good as movies/tv.

I just mute the TV to write down quotes. Then I can get them right.

05-23-2004, 08:31 PM	#1
Chambers The Crane Trinity Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 27, 2004 Location: Where everybody knows a Crane. Posts: 5,427	Favorite Quotations I know there are a lot of Cheers quotations recorded in the internet, but there are a few that I love but couldn't find. So I had to transcribe them myself. It would be great if you all could contribute to what I hope will become a list of favorite Cheers quotations - there are so many wonderful ones. One that I couldn't find anywhere on the internet (and I wanted it written exactly word for word) was this one: Diane: Yes, I was obsessive compulsive about neatness. I demanded that everything be in its proper place. But now look at the laissez-faire attitude I have about my apron. Huh? Now in the old days I would have insisted that it be pencil, pen, pencil, pen, pad. Well now it doesn’t matter if its pen, pencil, pen, pencil pad...or pencil, pencil, pen, pen, pad...or even pencil, pen, pad, pencil, pen! [Looks down at her apron] There’s one thing I cannot have and that’s this: pad, pen, pen, pencil, pencil. That just irritates me. [Cliff and Norm get up to console Sam]. Now with season 3 coming out on DVD, there will be even more quotes I'll be able to get !
	__________________ Member of the "God, Lilith is so ing cool" Fan Club Where everybody knows your tossed salads and scrambled eggs. FREEDOM OF THOUGHT blank

05-24-2004, 07:07 PM	#2
Moondance MCR Moderator Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 25, 2001 Posts: 4,008	Rock on, DianeDiane! I was watching Cheers on my local channel today and there was a scene that was cut from Nick at Nite; episode: SEND IN THE CRANE....at least I don't remember it being in there...but Frasier complains that the french underwear Lilith bought him was cutting off his circulation and he later went into the bathroom to remove them! hahaha!!! I loved when Lilith handed him that little underwear...she said, "I was sick of seeing you in boxers all the time." LOL Frasier holds it up and says, "Is it an eye patch?" hahahahaha!!!!!! Feen

05-24-2004, 09:21 PM	#3
MaydayMalonesGirl ACID! POLICEHHHH! Forum Star Join Date: Apr 24, 2003 Location: in a van down by the river. Posts: 18,393	Here's two of my favorites: Sam: I could get out of jail after twelve years, serve on an all male ship for another four, be dropped on a deserted island for another three, eating nothing but raw oysters day after day and if one day Diane walked out of the surf naked, all I'd want from her would be the hockey scores. Diane: And you would even get that! [Diane has a nervous breakdown after deciding that the highest she'll ever go is a cocktail waitress] Sam: Maybe this little literary chat wasn't such a good idea..... wanna makeout? I'll post more later.

05-28-2004, 09:52 AM	#4
Chambers The Crane Trinity Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 27, 2004 Location: Where everybody knows a Crane. Posts: 5,427	season 3, "Behind Every Great Man" Frasier: I think it's part of Sam's grand design to win you back! Diane: Oh, not this again. It's starting to sound like a broken record. Frasier: Oh, so now you're saying that I'm redundant, that I repeat myself, that I say things over and over!

06-07-2004, 04:02 PM	#5
MaydayMalonesGirl ACID! POLICEHHHH! Forum Star Join Date: Apr 24, 2003 Location: in a van down by the river. Posts: 18,393	Frasier: Ok Sam, brace yourself. Me and Diane have decided to cohabitate. Sam: Whoa, right here in the bar. Hey I guess it's cheaper then a piano player. [This one isn't completely right] John Allen Hill: Is that my daughter's suitcase? Sam: Uhh... no. Thats mine. John: With her monogram...VH? Sam: Yes. It stands for... Van Halen. [John Opens suitcase] John: So I suppose this is your neglege? Sam: Ok secrets out. John, I'm a transvestite. John: In a size 7? Sam: Well yeah, I can squeeze in.

06-12-2004, 08:05 AM	#6
calvertfan Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Mar 15, 2004 Location: Australia Posts: 72	Lilith to Carla: I've taken your little wisecracks for a few years now, you hideous gargoyle, and if you ever open that gateway to hell you call a mouth in my direction again, I'll snap off your extremities like dead branches and feed them to you at gunpoint. Norm: So, what kind of punishment yot getting? Frasier: Oh, I'm not getting any. Norm: Wow, you're getting off easy. Frasier: No. I'm not getting any. Candi: I'm Candi. Frasier: So I see from your necklace. Candi with an "i". Candi: Well, I used to spell it with a "y" but nobody ever took me seriously, so I switched it to an "i". You know, like Gandhi. Frasier: Yes, yes. I understand that's why he did it.

06-12-2004, 02:43 PM	#7
Moondance MCR Moderator Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 25, 2001 Posts: 4,008	Frasier Crane: Oh, dear God. Sam: What? What is it? Frasier Crane: Lilith is carrying a dead rat in her purse. Why would she be carrying a dead rat in her purse? Lilith: Just a wild guess: a snack? * Lilith: No, you don't understand. Usually, we don't get attached to the rats, but this one was so special. We even named him. Everyone in the lab called him Whitey. Carla: Are you sure they weren't talking to you? Lilith: No, Carla, they were talking about Whitey the rat. Carla: Okay, I'll ask again. Are you sure they weren't talking to you? * Lilith: Well, I'm off. I don't know what the future holds. Whatever happens, I only hope I can realize my full potential. To acquire things the old Lilith never had. Carla: Like a body temperature? Lilith: That's very good, Carla. Incidentally, I've taken your little wisecracks for a few years now, you hideous gargoyle, and if you ever open that gateway to hell you call a mouth in my direction again, I'll snap off your extremities like dead branches and feed them to you at gunpoint. * Lilith: [to Frasier, in a fight] I described you in terms which were positively glowing, which is exactly how I'd like to see you in Hell. * Diane: What could be more enjoyable than opening your heart this holiday season? Carla: Opening yours with a can opener? Feen

06-18-2004, 07:53 PM	#8
MaydayMalonesGirl ACID! POLICEHHHH! Forum Star Join Date: Apr 24, 2003 Location: in a van down by the river. Posts: 18,393	Ok, I just watched this episode and had to post this. [Diane thinks that Rick is rejecting the idea of meditation, but he's really rejecting the idea of having more sex] Diane- Wait a minute! Don't say it isn't the answer until you've tried it! Sam- No, diane Diane- Sam, excuse me. [to Rick] My name is diane. I've been doing this for years and I'll tell you I would be happy to teach you how to do it. Rick- Well Diane, thats very kind of you but...Diane-No,no,no. Please, do me the favor of trying it with me. Rick- [to Sam] Is she serious? Sam- Oh yes, shes very serious. She does it all the time.. she said so. Diane- Thats right. Rick- [gesturing to sam] do you two do it together? Diane- Are you kidding? Him? He'd just make jokes! Rick- Well ok then Uh, what time is good for you? Diane- Well personally, I like to get in atleast a half an hour in of it before breakfeast, but anytime is good for me. Rick- dog, I like you Diane- You know, there's something beautiful about experiencing outdoors. Rick- Uh, dont people stare at you? Diane- Yes, sometimes. But the end up learning something. Sometimes they even join in! You know, all this talk has gotten me excited. What the hell, lets do it now! Rick- Outside? Diane- Oh no, its a little cold out and I prefer to take my shoes off. Yah, its a little long..

06-18-2004, 10:41 PM	#10
Orville Kruger Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Jun 16, 2004 Posts: 151	When Coach proposed to that woman: (I'm paraphrasing) "I'm not a tall man. I'm not a rich man. I'm not a smart man. I'm not a gingerbread man..."