The Schemer, The Scammer, And The Nerd. Episode 2 - Uncle Schemer

[Chad22]

CAST
Eric Miller - Chad Doody
Ben Sanders - TF
Eddie Minetti - EFD
Randy Miller - Anson Wiliams
Emily Miller - Crystal Bernard
Principal Franklin - Sherman Hemsley
Billy Baldings - Jack Wilson

GUEST STARS
Uncle Ron - John Goodman
Nurse Monica - Nancy Sullivan
____________________________________________________
*A Shot of the High school is shown. Inside of the Cafeteria Eric & Ben are sitting at their table Across from each other. Eric is Listening to some Music on Headphones when Eddie comes up, Sets his tray down and sits next to Ben*

Eddie: Hey Guys. Eric, What are you listening To?

Eric: Frank Gibson.

Eddie: Who?

*Eric Takes he headphones off and Him & Ben Look at Eddie in shock*

Eddie: What?

Eric: You dont know who Frank Gibson is?!

Eddie: Should I?

Ben: The Mans A Legend.

Eddie: What? You guys listen to Oldies?

Eric: The Music of Frank Gibson is AGELESS.

Ben: Besides. Just because somethings Old doesnt mean its not good.

Eric: Exactly!

Eddie: Let me hear this Crap.

*Eddie takes Eric's Headphones and Listens For a few seconds, Than looks impressed.*

Eddie: Hes actually pretty good.

Ben: I KNEW You'd Like Him.

Eddie: Shut Up Nerd.

Ben: Ok.

Eric: So what are you guys doing this Weekend?

Eddie: Nothing really.

Ben: Me Either. Why?

Eric: I Was just wondering what you guys were doing Hoping i could come along, But apparently you guys are gonna be as bored stiff as i'm gonna be.

Ben: Well Theres gotta be SOMETHING To Do...

Eric: Wanna Come over to my House? We could rent some Videos an Order a Pizza....Better than Nothing.

Eddie: Sounds Cool. I Really enjoyed Meeting your Folks at Dinner the other night, They are really cool....For Old People.

Eric: Yeah, But there gonna be out of town. My Uncle Rons gonna be staying with me.

Eddie: You Mean you're 17 years Old And need a Babysitter?

Ben: Last time they left him alone he blew up the Garage.

Eric: Hey, That was Two years ago! Its time they get over that....But dont worry, Uncle Rons Cool. If Anyones Babysitting Anyone, Its Me Babysitting Him.

*Randy & Emily are shown standing in the Kitchen*

Randy: Come On Emily, If Anyones gonna be Babysitting anyone...It'll be Eric Babysitting Ron.

Emily: Oh Come On. Hes Not That Bad.

Randy: The Man Acts Like hes 10 years old, Emily! Eric burnt the Garage down a few years ago....Ron Would burn down the whole House!

Emily: Randy, My Brother May be a Little...."Childish" At times. But deep down he is a responsible adult That Knows When to be serious.

*Just then the door barges Open As A "Wolfman" In A Hawaian Shirt comes in screaming as Randy & Emily both back off scared. The Man than takes off the wolf mask And Laughs Histerically As Randy & Emily Look Mad.*

Randy: Not Funny, Ron.

Ron: *Still Laughing Histerically* Oh Yes it was....You Shoulda seen the Looks on your faces! Especially you Randy....You Looked Like You Wet your pants!

*Emily starts to chuckle A Little As Randy Looks at her with a Mean Glare And she stops.*

Randy: Are you sure you're going to be able to handle all this, Ron? Eric Invited his Friends Over And You Know How Teenage Boys can be.

Ron: Dont worry Randman, We'll have a Blast.

Randy: Thats what im afraid Of. Last time there was a "Blast" Here the Garage Blew Up.

Ron: I Heard about That....But you can trust me!

Emily: Of Course. Well we better get going Now. Eric & His Friends Should be home any Minute Now...

*Eric, Ben & Eddie walk in the door.*

Eric: Hey Mom, Dad....Uncle Ron!

Ron: Hey Kiddo! Gonna Have alot of fun this weekend, Right?

Eric: Sure.

Emily: Well we really must be going.

Randy: You Kids Behave yourselves this Weekend...*Randy whispers in Eric's Ear* And Keep an eye on Uncle Ron.

*Eric gives a thumbs Up To Randy, Than Hugs his mother.*

Emily: Have a good weekend. And if anyhing goes wrong...You Know what Hotel we're staying at. Bye!

*Everyone says their goodbyes As Randy & Emily leave*

Eric: Well Uncle Ron, You Know Ben.

Ben: Yeah...We met at your Birthday Party a few years ago.

Ron: Glad to see your hair grew back, Although i must admit that was one of my best jokes.

Ben: Yeah Just....Please....Don do it again.

Eric: And this is Eddie Minetti.

Ron: Nice to meet you, Eddie. Put 'er there Son.

*Ron Extends his hand and Eddie shakes it when Ron's Head comes off and Eddie starts screaming, Than Ron's REAL Hand comes Out of his sleeve and he starts laughing histerically And Eddie Picks up the fake one on the ground.*

Eddie: Plastic...

Ron: YOU SHOULDA SEEN THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE!

*Ron Laughs Histerically as Eddie Looks A Little annoyed.*

Ron: So what do you say guys, Wanna Go Pick up some Movies & Pizza?

*The Boys all smile and nod their heads. The 4 are then shown walking Back into the House with a Pizza and 2 DVDs on top of the Box.*

Ron: Dumb & Dumber And Toy Story. You Cant go wrong with these classics.

Ben: I Still think we should have gotten Sleepless In Seatle.

*Eric, Eddie & Ron All stare at Ben weird.*

Ben: Oh Come On....Not As if you guys never watch Chick Flicks.

Eric: Cant say that i do

Eddie: Nope

Ron: Never

*Ben Looks embarassed*

Ron: Hey Ben. Your flys Unzipped...

*Ben Looks down And Notices its Zipped.*

Ron: GOTCHA! You Shoulda seen the Look on your face, It Was funny. Well We can watch these later. Lets Load up on Pizza first!

*Everyone walks into the Kitchen and grabs a slice of Pizza.*

Uncle Ron: I'll Be right back guys. Gotta go to the can.

*Uncle Ron walks off as Eric, Eddie & Ben are bite into their pizza and smile. The Smiles are then turned to Horror as they all Rush To find something to drink.*

Eric: HOT HOT HOT

Ben: BURNING

*Eddie opens the fridge and Pulls out a Pitcher of water and starts chugging it down, Ben Grabs Ice out of the Freezer and tosses them in his Mouth, Eric goes up to the sink and puts his Mouth around the Faucet as the water comes out. Uncle Ron then walks in laughing histerically.*

Uncle Ron: OH MAN....YOU SHOULDA SEEN THE LOOKS ON YOUR FACES!

*Eric, Eddie & Ben All Look mad as Uncle Ron keeps laughing.*

Uncle Ron: Oh Man....Oh Man.....That was too good. Now i REALLY Have to go to the can before i wet myself! Be right back.

*Ron walks off as Eric, Ben & Eddie stand Looking mad.*

Eric: This....Is War.

Eddie: Is he ALWAYS Like this?

Eric: Yeah...But not usually to me. Heck, I Used to help the guy do things like this.

Ben: I Guess its cause we're around.

Eric: Dont worry guys...We're gonna get him back for that. We're gonna Get TOTALLY Get Him Back!

Ben: You Have A Plan?

Eric: Dont I Always?

*Eddie & Ben Grin. Minutes Later Uncle Ron walks back In.*

Ron: Listen Guys, Sorry about that. But i cant pass up a great Oppurtunity for a Joke like that!

Eric: Thats Ok Uncle Ron.

Eddie: Yeah...It was pretty funny.

Ron: What about you, Ben?

Ben: I.....I....

*Ben starts to Look sick.*

Ron: Whats wrong, Ben?

Eric: Wait. Uncle Ron...What did you put on our Pizza to make it so hot?

Ron: Hot Sauce.

Eric: Oh No....

Ron: What?

Eric: I Almost forgot. BEN IS ALLERGIC TO HOT SAUCE!

Ron: Allergic To HOT SAUCE?

Eddie: Hes a nerd....Nerds are Allergic to everything.

Ron: Ben, Are you gonna be Ok?

Ben: I...I....

*Ben starts to fall to The floor as Eric & Eddie rush to Pick him up.*

Eric: We Gotta get him to a Hospital.

Ron: Ok....Let me go start the car, You Guys bring him out.

*Ron Runs out the door as Eric & Eddie Follow with Ben Over their shoulders. Eric, Eddie & Ron are then shown in the Hospital Waiting Room Looking scared.*

Ron: I Hope the Kids Ok. I Feel Rotten.

*Just than a Nurse comes In.*

Eric: Is Ben Ok?

*The Nurse gets a Sad Look on her face.*

Nurse: Ummm....Listen. This is never easy to tell anyone, But you're friend didnt make it.

Eric: What?....WHAT?

Eddie: Oh My God....I Cant believe this is Happening. I Mean...I Always made fun of him. But he was A Good guy.....HE DIDNT DESERVE TO DIE THIS YOUNG.

*Eric & Eddie both start to tear up As Ron gets a Look of Horror and Sadness on his face.*

Ron: Its my Fault....Its All My Fault. People are always telling me to stop these Pranks And Jokes....But i never listen. I Didnt Know it would hurt anyone....I Didnt WANT It to hurt anyone.

*Ron starts to tear up a Little as Eric & Eddie start laughing histerically, Ben than comes In to the waiing room as Uncle Ron Looks shocked.*

Ron: WHAT THE?....

Eric, Eddie & Ben: YOU SHOULDA SEEN THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE!

Ron: But...How?

Eric: The Nurse here is Ben's Aunt Monica. Shes On her Break and Agreed to help us pull the Prank.

Eddie: Ben wasnt in the Emergency Room, He was Just Walking down the hallway!

Ron: WHAT?

Ben: Its True, I Was In the other room having a Soda with Aunt Monica.

Ron: So this was all a Big Prank?

Eric: Yeah.....You're Not mad are you?

Ron: AM I MAD? AM I MAD?!.....Nah, Im Not Mad. I Had it coming. Plus, I Gotta admit....That was Genius!

Eric: My Idea.

Ron: I Always knew you Got the family Scheming Gene. Just Like Your Mother & I.

Eric: Wait....Mom?

Ron: Oh Yeah...She Used to Play pranks On me all the time when we were Kids. Heck, She was worse than i was!

Eric: No Way...

Ron: Im surprised she married a Stiff like your Dad. Hes A Good guy though. What do you guys say we go get A New Pizza, Hot Sauce Free...And Go home and watch the Movies we rented.

Eric: Sounds Good.

*The 4 of them Start to wak out.*

Ron: Maybe then we COULD Go rent Sleepless In Seatle.

Eric & Eddie: Whaaaa?

Ron: GOTCHA!.....YOU SHOULDA SEEN THE LOOKS ON YOUR FACES!

*They All Walk out the door of the Hospital as the Scene Fades.*

[Stormtracker TF]

That was great.

Good Job, Chad.

[Moonlight Lady]

Oh lordy, that was hysterical. I loved it.

[Cactus Jack]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was SUPERB Uncle Ron is awesome! Make him a character on the show! BRAVO!