What the hell happened to me? - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

AKA · 05-07-2004, 04:55 AM

No, this thread isn't about Adam Sandler's sophomore album. It's about the evils of the "Search for all posts by this user" link in our profiles.

Let me explain: tonight I decided to take a trip down memory lane via my posts during my tenure here at Sitcoms Online. What I found wasn't pretty.

It's not what was on the other end of the wayback machine that I found disturbing; it's what's on this end. I was reminded of how good a writer I used to be; how quick-witted and sharp-tongued I was. Hell, I'll just go right out and say it - I was one erudite mother****er, and an all-around great guy.

Tonight, AKA of the past cracked AKA of the present up.

But he also depressed the hell out of AKA of the present. You see, I saw a lot of qualities I used to have, but no longer possess. I'm not that funny anymore, nor am I very creative. I can't write or do amateur stand-up comedy anymore. More importantly, I'm not as happy a guy as I used to be.

I feel like the antithesis of what I used to be.

You know what the funny thing is? Back when I registered, I was a big-time stoner. I'd smoke my brains out multiple times a day, seven days a week. It wasn't until a scary incident in October, 2002, that I stopped. Quitting the green stuff usually makes one wittier; not the other way around.

But forget about the pot. Things have changed in the last year and half; a lot of things. But what, specifically, caused my downfall? What caused AKA to become an unfunny, depressed son of a bitch, with the relative IQ of a doorknob?

A lot of things, actually, now that I think about it. I've gone through a lot of horrible things in the last two and a half years, especially within the last year. Things that have given me a cynical "nice guys always finish last" attitude.

I don't want to think that way anymore.

I'm also trying to find out when the old AKA turned into the new AKA. Much like Coca-Cola, the new product isn't as good as the old.

I usually don't get personal like this on message boards, and I'm sorry if I'm creeping anyone out. Hell, I'm creeping myself out. But the sole purpose of this thread is to blow off steam. I'm also sorry if this thread reads like one of the many sympathy ploys one frequently comes across on this board, because it really isn't. I just haven't been doing okay for the better part of the last year and a half, and you're all my makeshift Dr. Sidney Freedmans. Thanks for listening.

And let me just say I'm sorry to anyone if I didn't turn out to be all I was cracked up to be. This is especially directed at anyone on this board that I've alienated. You know who you are.

I'm really tired now, so I think I'm going to try and get some sleep. When I wake up tomorrow morning, I'll probably regret ever having posted this thread.

But let me just close by saying this: that guy who registered back in December, 2001? I'm going to try and bring him back. Minus the herbal enhancements, of course.

Seacrest out.

Brent88 · 05-07-2004, 09:52 AM

Any chance of you changing to a Republican?

Penny Lane · 05-07-2004, 11:08 AM

One toke over the line?

Seriously, I'm glad you gave up smoking that stuff! Other than messing with your head it is said that Maryjane is a whole lot worse on your lungs than cigarettes!

Unfortunately, the more mature/ older one gets the more serious one usually becomes. Don't worry, you are just growing up!

¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ · 05-07-2004, 11:38 AM

I, myself found this thread to be witty. Glad you gave up the pot lol. Anyways, I hope you can find yourself again on your journey.

Loved the Seacrest, out!

AKA · 05-07-2004, 02:27 PM

Thanks, everyone. And I feel better this morning, for some reason.

Chelsea · 05-07-2004, 02:40 PM

(If a person gets more serious as they get older, by the time I'm 50, I'm screwed)

Eh, we all change. I used to be a hyperactive, happy, overly optimistic fanfiction writere. Three years later, I'm a sedated, usually-not-emotitional (Besides the occasional rage), pessimistic cynical techie.

It's just a fact of life. You know, the more I think about it, the more I believe that heavy exposure to, and heavy debating on, topics on internet discussion groups (Usenet, Message Boards, etc.) gradually change people's personalities. It just happens

AKA · 05-07-2004, 03:49 PM

My big issue, besides, the wit, is that I'm not a great writer like I used to be. I was looking through my writing from my creative writing class in high school this morning, and there's a lot of great, creative stuff there.

Now, when I sit in front of my computer to do some writing, I freeze. It seems that I've had perpetual writer's block for quite some time now.

Cashodeen · 05-07-2004, 04:34 PM

Well, I hope you don't regret writing that now, because it's a good post. It doesn't come across strange at all. There's nothing strange about it anyways, but it turned out especially well because of HOW you wrote it.

Now... you're really the only one to judge that your writing has changed (among other things) but I've always noticed that you come across real witty and sharp. Honestly. Your writing rocks now. If it has dwindled at all though, don't worry... it isn't gone all the way... because like I said, you still are writing great stuff. If you're hoping to get back to your old self though (with writing and everything else) I think it could definitely happen.

Maybe it's just one of those things... where you go through ****ty deals and it causes you to change. Then as you think about how you should get back to your old self, it causes almost this pressure to do so. That writer's block is a good example of that--The more you keep having it, the more it continues because it's turned into this pattern that won't seem to stop--of course, I could be wrong. It's just a theory.

I would try to not worry about any of it too much. It might just take time, and maybe one day you'll notice that things are more like they used to be.

Nighthawk76 · 05-07-2004, 04:35 PM

Actaully I can relate to your writing problem. The same thing has happened to me from time to time. There will be times where I write great stuff then I'll go through periods where my writing is simply terrible. I think that I'm going through that phase right now. Give it a couple of months and you'll probably see an improvment in your writing. The fact that you have been feeling down may also effect your writing ability. I'm taking a wild guess that you are about 23 or 24 years old. A couple of years ago when I was your age I also went through a period where I was kind of down. I think this happens because your moving farther away from childhood and you notice certain things changing about yourself, and some of these changes you might not like. You are also beginning to experience what it's like to be an adult and that it is more difficult to be an adult then it was to be a kid. However, you'll find out that being an adult has many advantages over being a kid. You might consider talking to a professional, it might really help. In the end I think you'll be okay. I'm sure of it in fact. It is good that you gave up the pot.

AKA · 05-07-2004, 06:05 PM

Thanks for the encouragement, everyone.

vienna waits · 05-07-2004, 10:45 PM

haha I liked the Seacrest out. Are you still with that girl that posts here? Doesn't she make you happy?

AKA · 05-07-2004, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Idol Fanatic
haha I liked the Seacrest out. Are you still with that girl that posts here? Doesn't she make you happy?

Thanks.

I think you're confusing me with someone else, though. I've never been with anyone from the boards.

Peace,
AKA

TJL · 05-07-2004, 11:09 PM

This afternoon I started looking at my old posts from the very beginning.

I started out as a nice friendly helpful guy chock full of answers and opinions about old and obscure TV shows.

Then I found this guy:

He made me the member I am today.

AKA · 05-07-2004, 11:10 PM

Anyway, I just called my old shrink, and I'll be resuming therapy this Tuesday.

The reason I put it off for so long is because I hate being on the meds. But I think I hate being depressed more.

AKA · 05-07-2004, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TJL
This afternoon I started looking at my old posts from the very beginning.

I started out as a nice friendly helpful guy chock full of answers and opinions about old and obscure TV shows.

Then I found this guy:

He made me the member I am today.

is becoming a good friend of mine, too. So is his brother,

05-07-2004, 04:55 AM	#1
AKA Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 17, 2001 Posts: 15,746	What the hell happened to me? No, this thread isn't about Adam Sandler's sophomore album. It's about the evils of the "Search for all posts by this user" link in our profiles. Let me explain: tonight I decided to take a trip down memory lane via my posts during my tenure here at Sitcoms Online. What I found wasn't pretty. It's not what was on the other end of the wayback machine that I found disturbing; it's what's on this end. I was reminded of how good a writer I used to be; how quick-witted and sharp-tongued I was. Hell, I'll just go right out and say it - I was one erudite mother****er, and an all-around great guy. Tonight, AKA of the past cracked AKA of the present up. But he also depressed the hell out of AKA of the present. You see, I saw a lot of qualities I used to have, but no longer possess. I'm not that funny anymore, nor am I very creative. I can't write or do amateur stand-up comedy anymore. More importantly, I'm not as happy a guy as I used to be. I feel like the antithesis of what I used to be. You know what the funny thing is? Back when I registered, I was a big-time stoner. I'd smoke my brains out multiple times a day, seven days a week. It wasn't until a scary incident in October, 2002, that I stopped. Quitting the green stuff usually makes one wittier; not the other way around. But forget about the pot. Things have changed in the last year and half; a lot of things. But what, specifically, caused my downfall? What caused AKA to become an unfunny, depressed son of a bitch, with the relative IQ of a doorknob? A lot of things, actually, now that I think about it. I've gone through a lot of horrible things in the last two and a half years, especially within the last year. Things that have given me a cynical "nice guys always finish last" attitude. I don't want to think that way anymore. I'm also trying to find out when the old AKA turned into the new AKA. Much like Coca-Cola, the new product isn't as good as the old. I usually don't get personal like this on message boards, and I'm sorry if I'm creeping anyone out. Hell, I'm creeping myself out. But the sole purpose of this thread is to blow off steam. I'm also sorry if this thread reads like one of the many sympathy ploys one frequently comes across on this board, because it really isn't. I just haven't been doing okay for the better part of the last year and a half, and you're all my makeshift Dr. Sidney Freedmans. Thanks for listening. And let me just say I'm sorry to anyone if I didn't turn out to be all I was cracked up to be. This is especially directed at anyone on this board that I've alienated. You know who you are. I'm really tired now, so I think I'm going to try and get some sleep. When I wake up tomorrow morning, I'll probably regret ever having posted this thread. But let me just close by saying this: that guy who registered back in December, 2001? I'm going to try and bring him back. Minus the herbal enhancements, of course. Seacrest out.

05-07-2004, 11:08 AM	#3
Penny Lane Butter Pie Forum Icon Join Date: Jul 03, 2001 Location: Beneath the blue suburban skies Posts: 51,263	One toke over the line? Seriously, I'm glad you gave up smoking that stuff! Other than messing with your head it is said that Maryjane is a whole lot worse on your lungs than cigarettes! Unfortunately, the more mature/ older one gets the more serious one usually becomes. Don't worry, you are just growing up!
	__________________ Vulgarity is no substitute for wit- Lady Violet Crawley

05-07-2004, 11:38 AM	#4
¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ MISS APRIL Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 19, 2001 Location: Parsonsfield ME Shaws - Screwing my way up the employment ladder! Posts: 68,780	I, myself found this thread to be witty. Glad you gave up the pot lol. Anyways, I hope you can find yourself again on your journey. Loved the Seacrest, out!
	__________________ DAVID COOK FOR AMERICAN IDOL

05-07-2004, 10:45 PM	#11
vienna waits avatars are stupid. Forum Superstar Join Date: May 18, 2001 Location: Ravenclaw Common Room Posts: 29,859	haha I liked the Seacrest out. Are you still with that girl that posts here? Doesn't she make you happy?
	__________________ Me: Did you see Dunkleman in the audience at the finale? Crystal: No! Me: Yeah, that's because he wasn't invited.

05-07-2004, 11:09 PM	#13
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	This afternoon I started looking at my old posts from the very beginning. I started out as a nice friendly helpful guy chock full of answers and opinions about old and obscure TV shows. Then I found this guy: He made me the member I am today.
	__________________ "I think I'll stroll up to the front to see how the shooting's going..." - Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Read my blogs! http://centralparkamisguide.com/ http://dvdcriticscorner.com Visit me on Facebook!http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641138880 Hey, I do the tweet thing too! http://twitter.com/TomLevier My shop of handmade items! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations

05-07-2004, 09:52 AM	#2
Brent88 Member Forum Star Join Date: Aug 01, 2003 Location: Alabama Posts: 16,174	Any chance of you changing to a Republican?

05-07-2004, 02:27 PM	#5
AKA Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 17, 2001 Posts: 15,746	Thanks, everyone. And I feel better this morning, for some reason.

05-07-2004, 02:40 PM	#6
Chelsea Semi-retired Forum Veteran Join Date: Jan 07, 2001 Location: Washington Posts: 5,727	(If a person gets more serious as they get older, by the time I'm 50, I'm screwed) Eh, we all change. I used to be a hyperactive, happy, overly optimistic fanfiction writere. Three years later, I'm a sedated, usually-not-emotitional (Besides the occasional rage), pessimistic cynical techie. It's just a fact of life. You know, the more I think about it, the more I believe that heavy exposure to, and heavy debating on, topics on internet discussion groups (Usenet, Message Boards, etc.) gradually change people's personalities. It just happens

05-07-2004, 03:49 PM	#7
AKA Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 17, 2001 Posts: 15,746	My big issue, besides, the wit, is that I'm not a great writer like I used to be. I was looking through my writing from my creative writing class in high school this morning, and there's a lot of great, creative stuff there. Now, when I sit in front of my computer to do some writing, I freeze. It seems that I've had perpetual writer's block for quite some time now.

05-07-2004, 04:34 PM	#8
Cashodeen Hi. Forum Star Join Date: Aug 30, 2001 Posts: 11,363	Well, I hope you don't regret writing that now, because it's a good post. It doesn't come across strange at all. There's nothing strange about it anyways, but it turned out especially well because of HOW you wrote it. Now... you're really the only one to judge that your writing has changed (among other things) but I've always noticed that you come across real witty and sharp. Honestly. Your writing rocks now. If it has dwindled at all though, don't worry... it isn't gone all the way... because like I said, you still are writing great stuff. If you're hoping to get back to your old self though (with writing and everything else) I think it could definitely happen. Maybe it's just one of those things... where you go through ***ty deals and it causes you to change. Then as you think about how you should get back to your old self, it causes almost this pressure* to do so. That writer's block is a good example of that--The more you keep having it, the more it continues because it's turned into this pattern that won't seem to stop--of course, I could be wrong. It's just a theory. I would try to not worry about any of it too much. It might just take time, and maybe one day you'll notice that things are more like they used to be.

05-07-2004, 04:35 PM	#9
Nighthawk76 Rachel Berry Forum Celebrity Join Date: Feb 28, 2003 Location: Illinois Posts: 23,254	Actaully I can relate to your writing problem. The same thing has happened to me from time to time. There will be times where I write great stuff then I'll go through periods where my writing is simply terrible. I think that I'm going through that phase right now. Give it a couple of months and you'll probably see an improvment in your writing. The fact that you have been feeling down may also effect your writing ability. I'm taking a wild guess that you are about 23 or 24 years old. A couple of years ago when I was your age I also went through a period where I was kind of down. I think this happens because your moving farther away from childhood and you notice certain things changing about yourself, and some of these changes you might not like. You are also beginning to experience what it's like to be an adult and that it is more difficult to be an adult then it was to be a kid. However, you'll find out that being an adult has many advantages over being a kid. You might consider talking to a professional, it might really help. In the end I think you'll be okay. I'm sure of it in fact. It is good that you gave up the pot.

05-07-2004, 06:05 PM	#10
AKA Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 17, 2001 Posts: 15,746	Thanks for the encouragement, everyone.

05-07-2004, 11:10 PM	#14
AKA Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 17, 2001 Posts: 15,746	Anyway, I just called my old shrink, and I'll be resuming therapy this Tuesday. The reason I put it off for so long is because I hate being on the meds. But I think I hate being depressed more.