1st Annual Bad Jokefestapalooza! - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

TJL · 04-28-2004, 09:01 PM

Good evening ladies and germs, you're a wonderful audience.

Welcome to the Sitcoms Online Bad Jokefestapalooza!

Let's dust off those jokebooks and let the groaning begin...

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It drove down the road and turned into a field!

Who's next?

Dutabi84 · 04-28-2004, 09:05 PM

A skeleton walked into a bar and ordered a beer and a mop...

Blair_Warner02 · 04-28-2004, 09:11 PM

Once upon a time there was a very large office building in a very large city. This building had 40 levels: level 1, level 2, level 3, level 4, level 5, level 6, level 7, level 8, level 9, level 10, level 11, level 12, level 13, level 14, level 15, level 16, level 17, level 18, level 19, level 20, level 21, level 22, level 23, level 24, level 25, level 26, level 27, level 28, level 29, level 30, level 31, level 32, level 33, level 34, level 35, level 36, level 37, level 38, level 39, and level 40.

One day the owner of the building decided to get a PA system installed on every level, in case there was ever a fire and everyone in the building needed to be contacted at once. The system was installed on every level: level 1, level 2, level 3, level 4, level 5, level 6, level 7, level 8, level 9, level 10, level 11, level 12, level 13, level 14, level 15, level 16, level 17, level 18, level 19, level 20, level 21, level 22, level 23, level 24, level 25, level 26, level 27, level 28, level 29, level 30, level 31, level 32, level 33, level 34, level 35, level 36, level 37, level 38, level 39, and level 40.

One day, an employee named John was doing some paperwork on the 21st level when he saw the pager for the PA system in his boss's office. He could not resist. He picked up the pager, turned it on, cleared his throat, and told a joke. It was funniest joke anyone in the building had ever heard. They were rolling in the aisles, laughing their heads off. The accountants on level 3 were in tears. The engineers on level 34 were in hysterics. In fact, workers on every level -- level 1, level 2, level 3, level 4, level 5, level 6, level 7, level 8, level 9, level 10, level 11, level 12, level 13, level 14, level 15, level 16, level 17, level 18, level 19, level 20, level 21, level 22, level 23, level 24, level 25, level 26, level 27, level 28, level 29, level 30, level 31, level 32, level 33, level 34, level 35, level 36, level 37, level 38, level 39, and level 40 -- could not stop laughing.

He walked out the door of his boss's office, feeling all proud of himself, when who should he run into but his boss. "John, come with me now!" John relunctantly followed his boss back into his office. His boss looked at him with fury in his eyes. "John," he said, "your joke was very disruptive to the workers in this building! Productivity was decreased on level 1, level 2, level 3, level 4, level 5, level 6, level 7, level 8, level 9, level 10, level 11, level 12, level 13, level 14, level 15, level 16, level 17, level 18, level 19, level 20, level 21, level 22, level 23, level 24, level 25, level 26, level 27, level 28, level 29, level 30, level 31, level 32, level 33, level 34, level 35, level 36, level 37, level 38, level 39, and level 40! You're fired! Clean out your desk and get out!"

But then his frown softened and he added, "Still, I have to admit, that joke was funny on so many levels."

I am Him · 04-28-2004, 09:16 PM

Why was the Tomato blushing?

Because he saw the salad dressing.

I am Him · 04-28-2004, 09:18 PM

A termite walks into a barroom and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

phoebe7165 · 04-28-2004, 09:19 PM

Wow, Blair Warner02's joke must've been a pain to type!!

I have a hard time remembering jokes but I do remember a silly holiday joke. Actually it's a riddle.

Why can't witches have babies?
Because their husbands have hollow weenies!

I am Him · 04-28-2004, 09:20 PM

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no guts!

I am Him · 04-28-2004, 09:22 PM

"Waiter! This coffee tastes like dirt."

"Yes sir, it's fresh ground."

MandieR1980 · 04-28-2004, 09:56 PM

Did you hear about the two pretzles who walked down the street? One was assaulted LOL

~Teddybear~ · 04-28-2004, 10:03 PM

What did the frosted flake say to the mouth?

"leave me alone u cereal killer!'

i know...corny...

I am Him · 04-28-2004, 10:21 PM

The average cannibal has a wife and ate children.

Get it? Ate children?

wuahahahahaha

I am Him · 04-28-2004, 10:24 PM

Now that mozart is dead he decomposes.

sara · 04-28-2004, 11:59 PM

A grasshopper goes into a bar. The bartender says "Hey you know we have a drink named after you." The Grasshopper says "There's a drink called Steve?"

Georgia's on my Mind · 04-29-2004, 12:09 AM

what do you call an amish man with his hand up a horses butt....a mechanic

AKA · 04-29-2004, 12:14 AM

These jokes are so bad that they make me think of Hee Haw.

04-28-2004, 09:01 PM	#1
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	1st Annual Bad Jokefestapalooza! Good evening ladies and germs, you're a wonderful audience. Welcome to the Sitcoms Online Bad Jokefestapalooza! Let's dust off those jokebooks and let the groaning begin... Did you hear about the magic tractor? It drove down the road and turned into a field! Who's next?
	__________________ "I think I'll stroll up to the front to see how the shooting's going..." - Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Read my blogs! http://centralparkamisguide.com/ http://dvdcriticscorner.com Visit me on Facebook!http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641138880 Hey, I do the tweet thing too! http://twitter.com/TomLevier My shop of handmade items! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations

04-28-2004, 09:11 PM	#3
Blair_Warner02 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Nov 11, 2002 Location: Toledo, Ohio Posts: 270	Once upon a time there was a very large office building in a very large city. This building had 40 levels: level 1, level 2, level 3, level 4, level 5, level 6, level 7, level 8, level 9, level 10, level 11, level 12, level 13, level 14, level 15, level 16, level 17, level 18, level 19, level 20, level 21, level 22, level 23, level 24, level 25, level 26, level 27, level 28, level 29, level 30, level 31, level 32, level 33, level 34, level 35, level 36, level 37, level 38, level 39, and level 40. One day the owner of the building decided to get a PA system installed on every level, in case there was ever a fire and everyone in the building needed to be contacted at once. The system was installed on every level: level 1, level 2, level 3, level 4, level 5, level 6, level 7, level 8, level 9, level 10, level 11, level 12, level 13, level 14, level 15, level 16, level 17, level 18, level 19, level 20, level 21, level 22, level 23, level 24, level 25, level 26, level 27, level 28, level 29, level 30, level 31, level 32, level 33, level 34, level 35, level 36, level 37, level 38, level 39, and level 40. One day, an employee named John was doing some paperwork on the 21st level when he saw the pager for the PA system in his boss's office. He could not resist. He picked up the pager, turned it on, cleared his throat, and told a joke. It was funniest joke anyone in the building had ever heard. They were rolling in the aisles, laughing their heads off. The accountants on level 3 were in tears. The engineers on level 34 were in hysterics. In fact, workers on every level -- level 1, level 2, level 3, level 4, level 5, level 6, level 7, level 8, level 9, level 10, level 11, level 12, level 13, level 14, level 15, level 16, level 17, level 18, level 19, level 20, level 21, level 22, level 23, level 24, level 25, level 26, level 27, level 28, level 29, level 30, level 31, level 32, level 33, level 34, level 35, level 36, level 37, level 38, level 39, and level 40 -- could not stop laughing. He walked out the door of his boss's office, feeling all proud of himself, when who should he run into but his boss. "John, come with me now!" John relunctantly followed his boss back into his office. His boss looked at him with fury in his eyes. "John," he said, "your joke was very disruptive to the workers in this building! Productivity was decreased on level 1, level 2, level 3, level 4, level 5, level 6, level 7, level 8, level 9, level 10, level 11, level 12, level 13, level 14, level 15, level 16, level 17, level 18, level 19, level 20, level 21, level 22, level 23, level 24, level 25, level 26, level 27, level 28, level 29, level 30, level 31, level 32, level 33, level 34, level 35, level 36, level 37, level 38, level 39, and level 40! You're fired! Clean out your desk and get out!" But then his frown softened and he added, "Still, I have to admit, that joke was funny on so many levels."
	__________________ Want Facts of Life on DVD! Go to TVShowsOnDVD.com to vote.

04-28-2004, 09:19 PM	#6
phoebe7165 Pop Culture Goddess Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 15, 2003 Location: US of A - the country of "really bad music" lovers Posts: 11,600	Wow, Blair Warner02's joke must've been a pain to type!! I have a hard time remembering jokes but I do remember a silly holiday joke. Actually it's a riddle. Why can't witches have babies? Because their husbands have hollow weenies!
	__________________ Rest in Peace to my Penny-pie. You really were a GREAT dog. I'll see you at the Rainbow Bridge. Penny 9/1/97-12/9/09 Rescued animals make the best pets. Opt to Adopt!!

04-28-2004, 09:56 PM	#9
MandieR1980 Member Senior Member Join Date: Mar 03, 2001 Location: East Taunton, Massachusetts Posts: 2,635	Did you hear about the two pretzles who walked down the street? One was assaulted LOL
	__________________ Mandie myspace.com/mlr930

04-28-2004, 10:03 PM	#10
~Teddybear~ The New and Improved Forum Regular Join Date: Jun 17, 2002 Location: I'm eveywhere...I could be right behind you.... Posts: 547	What did the frosted flake say to the mouth? "leave me alone u cereal killer!' i know...corny...
	__________________ My name's BRIANA aka The Great 1....I'm livin' large and takin' charge and I aint too young to party!!!

04-28-2004, 09:05 PM	#2
Dutabi84 kittens must die Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 22, 2003 Location: MN/TX Posts: 11,026	A skeleton walked into a bar and ordered a beer and a mop...

04-28-2004, 09:16 PM	#4
I am Him Six Senior Member Join Date: May 15, 2003 Posts: 1,529	Why was the Tomato blushing? Because he saw the salad dressing.

04-28-2004, 09:18 PM	#5
I am Him Six Senior Member Join Date: May 15, 2003 Posts: 1,529	A termite walks into a barroom and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

04-28-2004, 09:20 PM	#7
I am Him Six Senior Member Join Date: May 15, 2003 Posts: 1,529	Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no guts!

04-28-2004, 09:22 PM	#8
I am Him Six Senior Member Join Date: May 15, 2003 Posts: 1,529	"Waiter! This coffee tastes like dirt." "Yes sir, it's fresh ground."

04-28-2004, 10:21 PM	#11
I am Him Six Senior Member Join Date: May 15, 2003 Posts: 1,529	The average cannibal has a wife and ate children. Get it? Ate children? wuahahahahaha

04-28-2004, 10:24 PM	#12
I am Him Six Senior Member Join Date: May 15, 2003 Posts: 1,529	Now that mozart is dead he decomposes.

04-28-2004, 11:59 PM	#13
sara Member Senior Member Join Date: May 21, 2002 Location: grandville michigan Posts: 2,296	A grasshopper goes into a bar. The bartender says "Hey you know we have a drink named after you." The Grasshopper says "There's a drink called Steve?"
	__________________ Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy!

04-29-2004, 12:09 AM	#14
Georgia's on my Mind Senior Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Aug 19, 2001 Posts: 25,054	what do you call an amish man with his hand up a horses butt....a mechanic

04-29-2004, 12:14 AM	#15
AKA Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 17, 2001 Posts: 15,746	These jokes are so bad that they make me think of Hee Haw.