To Talk About #2--JOKES - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

PunkdShorty · 04-23-2004, 10:48 PM

A man is looking in the classified ads for a job. He notices an advertisement for a toothbrush salesman and figured that couldn't such a bad job. So, he calls in, he goes in and they hire him. The next day, he heads out to a neighborhood to make some sales. Five hours later he comes home and says, "Man, I only sold one toothbrush. That's not enough"

So the next day he goes to a richer neighborhood, thinking maybe those people would buy more toothbrushes. He ends up selling two toothbrushes. So he goes to his boss for advice and his boss says, "Look, you're a great guy and all, but you gotta come up with a gimmick or something."

So, the salesman thinks about it and, later that night, he finally comes up with one.

So the next day, he sets up a booth near the subway with a sign that says "Free chips and dip" A guy walks over and puts the chip in the dip and says, "This tastes like ****."

And the salesman replied, "Yeah, it is. Wanna buy a toothbrush?

PUT ALL YOUR JOKES HERE!!!!

PunkdShorty · 04-23-2004, 10:50 PM

One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor."

His friend offered, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10."

Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.

moeee · 04-24-2004, 12:19 AM

Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes?

The police thought it was a cereal killer.

Gigglie_Smurf · 04-24-2004, 02:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by moeee
Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes?

The police thought it was a cereal killer.

What did the cat recieve after it made a movie?

An A-cat-emy Award!

ravensnumbaoneboo · 04-24-2004, 01:02 PM

If H20 is on the inside of a fire hydrant what is on the inside?

K9P

moeee · 04-24-2004, 04:32 PM

i dont get that one.........

Yo' mama so ugly, she can't get a date on a tombstone!

mpapawise · 04-24-2004, 10:23 PM

yo mommas so dumb she stuck a phone up her butt and that she was makin a booty call!

moeee · 04-24-2004, 10:38 PM

Yo mama so tall, she tripped and burnt her lip on the sun.

mpapawise · 04-25-2004, 12:15 AM

yo mommas so fat and dumb she saw a bus full of white kids and shouted stop that twinky!!!!!!!!!!!!

PunkdShorty · 04-25-2004, 12:21 AM

Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said, "To Be Continued"

Yo momma's so ugly they pushed her face in dough to make gorilla cookies

Yo momma's so fat, she fell in love and broke it.

Yo momma's so fat, she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones.

ravensnumbaoneboo · 04-25-2004, 08:14 PM

Yo mama so fat that when her beeper goes off people think she is backin' up

moeee · 04-25-2004, 09:21 PM

Yo mama so fat, she leaves stretch marks in the tub.

ravensnumbaoneboo · 04-25-2004, 09:36 PM

Yo mama so ugly,she looked out the window and got aressted for mooning

PunkdShorty · 04-26-2004, 10:25 PM

is anyone here a blonde? if so sry if i offended you!

Q: how do u react when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: run like hell. she has a grenade in her mouth!!!

ravensnumbaoneboo · 04-27-2004, 12:21 AM

wha?!?!?

04-23-2004, 10:48 PM	#1
PunkdShorty They call me Fido Senior Member Join Date: Jan 16, 2004 Posts: 2,351	To Talk About #2--JOKES A man is looking in the classified ads for a job. He notices an advertisement for a toothbrush salesman and figured that couldn't such a bad job. So, he calls in, he goes in and they hire him. The next day, he heads out to a neighborhood to make some sales. Five hours later he comes home and says, "Man, I only sold one toothbrush. That's not enough" So the next day he goes to a richer neighborhood, thinking maybe those people would buy more toothbrushes. He ends up selling two toothbrushes. So he goes to his boss for advice and his boss says, "Look, you're a great guy and all, but you gotta come up with a gimmick or something." So, the salesman thinks about it and, later that night, he finally comes up with one. So the next day, he sets up a booth near the subway with a sign that says "Free chips and dip" A guy walks over and puts the chip in the dip and says, "This tastes like ****." And the salesman replied, "Yeah, it is. Wanna buy a toothbrush? PUT ALL YOUR JOKES HERE!!!!

04-24-2004, 01:02 PM	#5
ravensnumbaoneboo Raven is the flavor! Senior Member Join Date: Jan 14, 2004 Location: glued to the t.v watchin the world's most beautiful girl, Raven!!! Posts: 2,691	If H20 is on the inside of a fire hydrant what is on the inside? K9P
	__________________ I'm Cravin4Raven!!!!!!!!!!!!

04-23-2004, 10:50 PM	#2
PunkdShorty They call me Fido Senior Member Join Date: Jan 16, 2004 Posts: 2,351	One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor." His friend offered, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks. Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.

04-24-2004, 12:19 AM	#3
moeee Peanut Butter Ice Cream Pie Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 31, 2003 Posts: 40,094	Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes? The police thought it was a cereal killer.

04-24-2004, 04:32 PM	#6
moeee Peanut Butter Ice Cream Pie Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 31, 2003 Posts: 40,094	i dont get that one......... Yo' mama so ugly, she can't get a date on a tombstone!

04-24-2004, 10:23 PM	#7
mpapawise Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Feb 03, 2004 Location: oklahoma Posts: 210	yo mommas so dumb she stuck a phone up her butt and that she was makin a booty call!

04-24-2004, 10:38 PM	#8
moeee Peanut Butter Ice Cream Pie Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 31, 2003 Posts: 40,094	Yo mama so tall, she tripped and burnt her lip on the sun.

04-25-2004, 12:15 AM	#9
mpapawise Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Feb 03, 2004 Location: oklahoma Posts: 210	yo mommas so fat and dumb she saw a bus full of white kids and shouted stop that twinky!!!!!!!!!!!!

04-25-2004, 12:21 AM	#10
PunkdShorty They call me Fido Senior Member Join Date: Jan 16, 2004 Posts: 2,351	Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said, "To Be Continued" Yo momma's so ugly they pushed her face in dough to make gorilla cookies Yo momma's so fat, she fell in love and broke it. Yo momma's so fat, she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones.

04-25-2004, 08:14 PM	#11
ravensnumbaoneboo Raven is the flavor! Senior Member Join Date: Jan 14, 2004 Location: glued to the t.v watchin the world's most beautiful girl, Raven!!! Posts: 2,691	Yo mama so fat that when her beeper goes off people think she is backin' up

04-25-2004, 09:21 PM	#12
moeee Peanut Butter Ice Cream Pie Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 31, 2003 Posts: 40,094	Yo mama so fat, she leaves stretch marks in the tub.

04-25-2004, 09:36 PM	#13
ravensnumbaoneboo Raven is the flavor! Senior Member Join Date: Jan 14, 2004 Location: glued to the t.v watchin the world's most beautiful girl, Raven!!! Posts: 2,691	Yo mama so ugly,she looked out the window and got aressted for mooning

04-26-2004, 10:25 PM	#14
PunkdShorty They call me Fido Senior Member Join Date: Jan 16, 2004 Posts: 2,351	is anyone here a blonde? if so sry if i offended you! Q: how do u react when a blonde throws a pin at you? A: run like hell. she has a grenade in her mouth!!!

04-27-2004, 12:21 AM	#15
ravensnumbaoneboo Raven is the flavor! Senior Member Join Date: Jan 14, 2004 Location: glued to the t.v watchin the world's most beautiful girl, Raven!!! Posts: 2,691	wha?!?!?