I can't stand my life anymore! - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Chocoholic · 04-12-2004, 11:21 AM

My life has really become a living hell in recent months. My grandmother moved in with us last December. (I should say, forced herself into our home because she can't care for herself anymore and REFUSES to be put in a nursing home or assisted living facility.) I know she is my grandmother, but I cannot stand this woman! She is rude, selfish, stubborn, bitter, whiny, and miserable. She never has anything nice to say about anyone or anything. She can always find something to whine and complain about. She treats my mother (her daughter-in-law) like garbage and is always criticizing her and my father. She took over my sister's bedroom, so my sister has to sleep in my room. I have no privacy, no place to be alone anymore. The atmosphere at home has become so unpleasant. I'm stuck taking care of Grandma all day because I still haven't found a job yet and I'm still at that

grocery store during the evenings. (At least I get away from the house though.)Grandma refuses any outside help. like home health aides and respite care, so we're stuck doing it all. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've become so depressed and I fell like there's no way out. I can't live on my own right now, but I can't stay in this hell-hole either.

Brent88 · 04-12-2004, 11:52 AM

Put her in the nursing home or at least an old folk's home(it's not a nursing home, it's nice apartments that she can live in and if she needs help, they will help her). My great-grandmother lived there for years and then moved to a nursing home before she died two years ago. She was 86.

I don't care if she likes it. Life's not fair!

¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ · 04-12-2004, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Brent88
Put her in the nursing home or at least an old folk's home(it's not a nursing home, it's nice apartments that she can live in and if she needs help, they will help her). My great-grandmother lived there for years and then moved to a nursing home before she died two years ago. She was 86.

I don't care if she likes it. Life's not fair!

Ditto. My grandmother has lived in a retirement home for the longest time. It wasnt until last year when she had no choice BUT to be placed in a nursing home. We knew she hated it, but there was no way we could take care of her. It was the best we could do for her, so she could have watch 24/7.

AllIWantIsYourClutch · 04-12-2004, 01:33 PM

Ohhhhhhhh my god. Welcome to my world, honey. My grandma lives with me too....Your situation sounds exactly like mine, except my grandma CAN take care of herself. I don't understand why she moved in with us in the first place. But anyways, I know what your going through. She's been here for like 6 years....The worst 6 years of my life. I honestly don't know what to tell you....But yeah I know what your going through.

damin mance · 04-12-2004, 01:39 PM

CAN FEEL YOUR PAIN

damin mance · 04-12-2004, 01:41 PM

and trust me its not you or your life its her.

Pentimento · 04-12-2004, 02:16 PM

I hope you won't mind a few thoughts from someone who's straddling that cruelly vague line between youth and old age. I can still remember one, but I'm getting glimpses of the other, and it can be frightening at times.

First of all, you do have my sympathy. I know what a helpless, frustrating feeling it is to be living under someone else's roof, subject to their rules and demands. Even though you're not a teenager anymore, you're still in your parents' house so the dynamic hasn't really changed. You might feel as though your needs and feelings are not being considered. It's as though you're trapped and might never be free. It's a horrible, depressing state to be in. And I would guess that you're probably sick of hearing people tell you that you've got your whole life ahead of you, but it's true. It might not seem like it now, but your time will come.

For your grandmother, though, this is the end of the line. She had a family, probably made a lot of sacrifices along the way, but I'm sure this isn't the way she envisioned her future when she was your age. You probably have dreams of what you want to do with your life, and you'll have plenty of opportunities to make those dreams come true. But this is it for her. This is her life. All she has now, and for whatever time she might have left, is what you and your family choose to provide for her. It's like being a child all over again -- no freedom, no privacy, no autonomy -- but the difference is that she knows what it's like to be out in the world, pursuing life, and she knows she'll never have that again. If I were in that position, I think I'd be pretty ticked off and more than a little scared.

I know it's a real pain in the butt to have her around, but you might find that a little empathy and understanding could go a long way toward making the situation more tolerable for all of you. I wish you luck.

Nighthawk76 · 04-12-2004, 10:01 PM

I was in the same situation as you you a couple of years ago.
After my grandmother died my granfather vame to live with us for about three months. They were three LONG months. My grandfather was (he passed away last summer) very opinionated and very stuck in his ways and very diificult to get along with. We ended up putting him in a retirement home, where he ended up being very happy. I know what you are going through, so just hang in there, Kirsten, it will get better.

dawsongirl · 04-12-2004, 10:06 PM

I'm sorry to hear that. Don't you just wish you could sit that old lady down and tell her off for being such a burden? I mean, it sounds like she wants to be a burden to all of you. Which isn't fair. I can understand not wanting to be in a nursing home...my great-grandma didn't want to either, but eventually my grandma said enough is enough. She was trying to take care of her, but there's only so much a non-professional can do.

And I feel your pain about the job thing. I have this college degree that I spent a lot of money and time on getting...and it hasn't done me one bit of good. Employeers must think I'm kidding when I fill in an application.

Nanny Fine · 04-12-2004, 10:34 PM

This post makes me sad. I miss my grandmother, who died 7 years ago this month, more than anything in the world. I would climb mountains to have her back, just for one single day. Sometimes she got on my nerves but she was my grandma and I miss her so much - just as much, if not more, today than when she died.

You should appreciate what you have while you have it. You won't know what it's like when it's gone. You'll regret feeling how you feel and saying what you've said. I guarantee it.

Mr. Television · 04-12-2004, 10:39 PM

I lost both my Grandmothers and would love to have them back. They both wound up in Nursing homes but it was because their health had gotten to bad and basicaly they had to have 24 hour treatment. My one Grandma did live with my Uncle's family until he died. I would never force anybody into a nursing home who did not want to go.

Hollow · 04-12-2004, 10:46 PM

i hate my life too. i need to go die.

Tuesday Weld · 04-12-2004, 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nanny Fine
This post makes me sad. I miss my grandmother, who died 7 years ago this month, more than anything in the world. I would climb mountains to have her back, just for one single day. Sometimes she got on my nerves but she was my grandma and I miss her so much - just as much, if not more, today than when she died.

You should appreciate what you have while you have it. You won't know what it's like when it's gone. You'll regret feeling how you feel and saying what you've said. I guarantee it.

I agree completely.

david&maddie4ever · 04-12-2004, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nanny Fine
This post makes me sad. I miss my grandmother, who died 7 years ago this month, more than anything in the world. I would climb mountains to have her back, just for one single day. Sometimes she got on my nerves but she was my grandma and I miss her so much - just as much, if not more, today than when she died.

You should appreciate what you have while you have it. You won't know what it's like when it's gone. You'll regret feeling how you feel and saying what you've said. I guarantee it.

Yeah, I have to agree too.

I know that this must seem pretty awful right now, Kristen, but I just found out today that my grandfather is being taken off dialysis, and once that happens, he only has a matter of days left. I finally realize how important grandparents are...I hope you realize that before it's too late. Good luck.

~Lauren

Tuesday Weld · 04-12-2004, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by david&maddie4ever
Yeah, I have to agree too. I know that this must seem pretty awful right now, Kristen, but I just found out today that my grandfather is being taken off dialysis, and once that happens, he only has a matter of days left. I finally realize how important grandparents are...I hope you realize that before it's too late. Good luck.

~Lauren

Awww, I'm sorry, Lauren.

04-12-2004, 11:21 AM	#1
Chocoholic Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 01, 2000 Location: Between a rock and a hard place. Posts: 11,235	I can't stand my life anymore! My life has really become a living hell in recent months. My grandmother moved in with us last December. (I should say, forced herself into our home because she can't care for herself anymore and REFUSES to be put in a nursing home or assisted living facility.) I know she is my grandmother, but I cannot stand this woman! She is rude, selfish, stubborn, bitter, whiny, and miserable. She never has anything nice to say about anyone or anything. She can always find something to whine and complain about. She treats my mother (her daughter-in-law) like garbage and is always criticizing her and my father. She took over my sister's bedroom, so my sister has to sleep in my room. I have no privacy, no place to be alone anymore. The atmosphere at home has become so unpleasant. I'm stuck taking care of Grandma all day because I still haven't found a job yet and I'm still at that grocery store during the evenings. (At least I get away from the house though.)Grandma refuses any outside help. like home health aides and respite care, so we're stuck doing it all. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've become so depressed and I fell like there's no way out. I can't live on my own right now, but I can't stay in this hell-hole either.

04-12-2004, 11:52 AM	#2
Brent88 Member Forum Star Join Date: Aug 01, 2003 Location: Alabama Posts: 16,174	Put her in the nursing home or at least an old folk's home(it's not a nursing home, it's nice apartments that she can live in and if she needs help, they will help her). My great-grandmother lived there for years and then moved to a nursing home before she died two years ago. She was 86. I don't care if she likes it. Life's not fair!
	__________________ Brent

04-12-2004, 10:01 PM	#8
Nighthawk76 Rachel Berry Forum Celebrity Join Date: Feb 28, 2003 Location: Illinois Posts: 23,254	Kristen I was in the same situation as you you a couple of years ago. After my grandmother died my granfather vame to live with us for about three months. They were three LONG months. My grandfather was (he passed away last summer) very opinionated and very stuck in his ways and very diificult to get along with. We ended up putting him in a retirement home, where he ended up being very happy. I know what you are going through, so just hang in there, Kirsten, it will get better.

04-12-2004, 10:34 PM	#10
Nanny Fine Justine and Holden.. Senior Member Join Date: Jan 01, 2003 Location: Watching The Ellen Degeneres Show and luvin' it Posts: 2,852	This post makes me sad. I miss my grandmother, who died 7 years ago this month, more than anything in the world. I would climb mountains to have her back, just for one single day. Sometimes she got on my nerves but she was my grandma and I miss her so much - just as much, if not more, today than when she died. You should appreciate what you have while you have it. You won't know what it's like when it's gone. You'll regret feeling how you feel and saying what you've said. I guarantee it.
	__________________ * How it all came down to this, only the Devil knows. Retail Rodeo is at the corner on my left. The motel is down the road to my right. I close my eyes and try to peer into the future. On my left, I saw days upon days of lipstick and ticking clocks, dirty looks and quiet whisperings. And burning secrets that just won't ever die away. And on my right, what could I picture? The blue sky, the desert earth, stretching out into the eerie infinity. A beautiful never-ending nothing. ~Justine, "The Good Girl" * Bush for President!

04-12-2004, 10:39 PM	#11
Mr. Television 23 Years at Sitcoms Online Forum Icon Join Date: Jun 06, 2003 Location: Somewhere you're Not Posts: 62,132	I lost both my Grandmothers and would love to have them back. They both wound up in Nursing homes but it was because their health had gotten to bad and basicaly they had to have 24 hour treatment. My one Grandma did live with my Uncle's family until he died. I would never force anybody into a nursing home who did not want to go.
	__________________ Sonny

04-12-2004, 01:33 PM	#4
AllIWantIsYourClutch peaceout. Forum Icon Join Date: Aug 02, 2001 Location: Illinois. Posts: 53,424	Ohhhhhhhh my god. Welcome to my world, honey. My grandma lives with me too....Your situation sounds exactly like mine, except my grandma CAN take care of herself. I don't understand why she moved in with us in the first place. But anyways, I know what your going through. She's been here for like 6 years....The worst 6 years of my life. I honestly don't know what to tell you....But yeah I know what your going through.

04-12-2004, 01:39 PM	#5
damin mance Member Forum Regular Join Date: Apr 19, 2003 Location: new jersey newark Posts: 894	CAN FEEL YOUR PAIN

04-12-2004, 01:41 PM	#6
damin mance Member Forum Regular Join Date: Apr 19, 2003 Location: new jersey newark Posts: 894	and trust me its not you or your life its her.

04-12-2004, 02:16 PM	#7
Pentimento Member Forum Regular Join Date: Feb 16, 2004 Location: The Big Valley Posts: 606	I hope you won't mind a few thoughts from someone who's straddling that cruelly vague line between youth and old age. I can still remember one, but I'm getting glimpses of the other, and it can be frightening at times. First of all, you do have my sympathy. I know what a helpless, frustrating feeling it is to be living under someone else's roof, subject to their rules and demands. Even though you're not a teenager anymore, you're still in your parents' house so the dynamic hasn't really changed. You might feel as though your needs and feelings are not being considered. It's as though you're trapped and might never be free. It's a horrible, depressing state to be in. And I would guess that you're probably sick of hearing people tell you that you've got your whole life ahead of you, but it's true. It might not seem like it now, but your time will come. For your grandmother, though, this is the end of the line. She had a family, probably made a lot of sacrifices along the way, but I'm sure this isn't the way she envisioned her future when she was your age. You probably have dreams of what you want to do with your life, and you'll have plenty of opportunities to make those dreams come true. But this is it for her. This is her life. All she has now, and for whatever time she might have left, is what you and your family choose to provide for her. It's like being a child all over again -- no freedom, no privacy, no autonomy -- but the difference is that she knows what it's like to be out in the world, pursuing life, and she knows she'll never have that again. If I were in that position, I think I'd be pretty ticked off and more than a little scared. I know it's a real pain in the butt to have her around, but you might find that a little empathy and understanding could go a long way toward making the situation more tolerable for all of you. I wish you luck.

04-12-2004, 10:06 PM	#9
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	I'm sorry to hear that. Don't you just wish you could sit that old lady down and tell her off for being such a burden? I mean, it sounds like she wants to be a burden to all of you. Which isn't fair. I can understand not wanting to be in a nursing home...my great-grandma didn't want to either, but eventually my grandma said enough is enough. She was trying to take care of her, but there's only so much a non-professional can do. And I feel your pain about the job thing. I have this college degree that I spent a lot of money and time on getting...and it hasn't done me one bit of good. Employeers must think I'm kidding when I fill in an application.

04-12-2004, 10:46 PM	#12
Hollow Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Dec 16, 2001 Posts: 30,406	i hate my life too. i need to go die.