Niles' best one-liners - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Kristen · 04-11-2004, 01:40 AM

I was thinking earlier about Niles. He sure had some great lines! Of course, most of them were directed to C.C., LOL. Here are a few of my favorites:

"Cluck like a chicken....it turns me on." (I couldn't forget that one!!)

"If you let me tell Miss Babcock about this, I'll work free for a year!"

"He's (Max) gone to discuss with Miss Fine the possibility of having sex in her room."

"Grandma Yetta, aged 80, living in a home, got a heap o' good lovin' last night."

Ok, now post some of yours, I know there are lots more!

Fran=Lucy · 04-11-2004, 02:24 PM

Oh Lord, there are sooo many Niles one-liners that I just can't seem to remember at least one...let me think and then i'll post them hehehe

Nanny Fine · 04-11-2004, 02:30 PM

CC "Why can't I get a man to worship me like that?"
Niles "Move to India. You'll be sacred there"

CC "I wouldn't be caught dead in that dress"
Niles "You'd have to be dead 6 months just to fit in it"

CC "She even thought you were going to kill ME"
Niles "I wouldn't dream of touching you like any other man"

I know that his line but I'm not sure if that's hers. He KILLS me I love him.

Rill · 04-12-2004, 08:37 AM

I can mainly think of dialogs between Niles and CC but here are my Niles quotes... (Oh! Some "quotes" aren't word by word... because I watch it dubbed):

"Did CaCa do a no no in the kitchen? Now she's going to have to clean it up!"

"You realize of course, now I'm going to have to kill you."

"Just Niles... like Cher."

"Are you a good witch or a bad witch?"

"Well, sorta, kinda..."

"I'm sorry Sir, I just got so excited. I mean when she said...., then you said...., and when she said "I quit," I just wanted to roll over, light up, and watch Letterman."

"I'm half French."

"Toot toot!"

And... just because we spoke about that... "wear something"... "Velcro!"... lol

I can think of more right now... but I love Niles!

Kristen · 04-12-2004, 01:51 PM

I can't believe I forgot the "CaCa" line, that's one of my all-time faves! Right, Allison?

I just got done watching "Fran's Gotta Have It" (Finally got it on tape - yay!) and I heard this:

Niles:Mr. Sheffield telephoned. He hasn't seen Celine Dion yet.
C.C.:Well, then, what is he doing in London?
Niles:One would hope, Miss Fine.

Fran=Lucy · 04-12-2004, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kristen
I just got done watching "Fran's Gotta Have It" (Finally got it on tape - yay!) and I heard this:

Niles:Mr. Sheffield telephoned. He hasn't seen Celine Dion yet.
C.C.:Well, then, what is he doing in London?
Niles:One would hope, Miss Fine.

Hahaha! OMG! LOL! I forgot about that and about the CaCa thing!

Kristen · 04-12-2004, 03:42 PM

I heard yet another good one during "The Morning After."

(After Niles' heart attack)
Max:If I don't tell someone soon, I'll have an ulcer!
Niles:Yes, and we all know *your* health should be what's foremost in our minds.

I just love how he says that! I love Niles to death.

Fran=Lucy · 04-13-2004, 12:30 PM

Yesterday I saw "The Kibbutz" and CC said something about not being around for Christmas and Niles said : "Oh, Santa got my letter!" Hahaha! Loved that one!
And at the end of that episode when he's on his vacation, he saw that CC was there too and he said...hm..oy, don't know the song but it's the same song from the movie, "Beetlejuice".

Rill · 04-13-2004, 02:24 PM

In "Strange Bedfellows" Niles asks CC: "What are you doing here? The sun is up already!"

I loved that line! lol

Kristen · 04-15-2004, 01:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rill
In "Strange Bedfellows" Niles asks CC: "What are you doing here? The sun is up already!"

I loved that line! lol

Another great line from "Strange Bedfellows," "Oy, this is gonna take forever!" And of course we all know he was right!

Fran=Lucy · 04-16-2004, 02:56 PM

Yeah, and we can see how much he wanted them to be together!

OKCRay · 08-22-2004, 03:50 AM

Niles is in the living room doing the Tom Cruise "Old Time Rock and Roll" dance (including strumming his feather duster like a guitar!). For the moment he has the house all to himself, then Miss Babcock enters and catches him in the act.

Niles: "You realize now that I will have to kill you!"

zypherix · 08-22-2004, 03:05 PM

I cant pick a favorite but here are some good ones:

from "Ode to Barbara Joan"

C.C: This pattern is hideous
Niles: Thats not the pattern, it's your reflection

from "Take Back your Mink"

C.C: Aren't these elephant tusks excuisit (sp?)
Niles: And here I thought you had your wisdom teeth pulled.

from "Piskhe Business"
Max: Where is C.C.?
Niles: It's raining outside, sir. Maybe she melted. Should I go out and look for a pointy hat and a Chanel suit?

from "Fran Lite"
C.C: Isnt a decade the standard time of mourning?
Niles: Die! Lets find out.

from "A Kiss is just a Kiss"
(after C.C. accidently kisses Niles)
Niles: Was it as bad for you as it was for me?

Alicia Blair · 10-30-2004, 06:36 AM

I still love the line where CC comes into the kitchen holding 'Jay Leno's dog and she says
CC: "What is this?"
Niles: "An annoying yapping dog"
CC nods
Niles: "Holding a chihuahua.

And there's another episode where Niles sends CC to the store,and then says
Niles: "Get a little rawhide chewie for yourself".

And one more......
CC comes to the breakfast table,and Niles insults her and Maxwell tells him off,and then Niles says
Niles: Sorry sir,but you know how i feel about her eating inside".

Miss Fine · 10-31-2004, 10:40 PM

Niles comments towards CC were always hilarious.My favourite though is

CC: I thought you were trying to help me!
Niles: Ohhhh you baboon why would i help you?

04-11-2004, 01:40 AM	#1
Kristen Member Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 17, 2000 Location: New York, USA Posts: 4,042	Niles' best one-liners I was thinking earlier about Niles. He sure had some great lines! Of course, most of them were directed to C.C., LOL. Here are a few of my favorites: "Cluck like a chicken....it turns me on." (I couldn't forget that one!!) "If you let me tell Miss Babcock about this, I'll work free for a year!" "He's (Max) gone to discuss with Miss Fine the possibility of having sex in her room." "Grandma Yetta, aged 80, living in a home, got a heap o' good lovin' last night." Ok, now post some of yours, I know there are lots more!
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04-11-2004, 02:24 PM	#2
Fran=Lucy Oh, Viv! Occasional Poster Join Date: Feb 07, 2004 Location: The Island of Enchantment, PUERTO RICO! Posts: 91	Niles' one-liners? hm... Oh Lord, there are sooo many Niles one-liners that I just can't seem to remember at least one...let me think and then i'll post them hehehe
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04-11-2004, 02:30 PM	#3
Nanny Fine Justine and Holden.. Senior Member Join Date: Jan 01, 2003 Location: Watching The Ellen Degeneres Show and luvin' it Posts: 2,852	CC "Why can't I get a man to worship me like that?" Niles "Move to India. You'll be sacred there" CC "I wouldn't be caught dead in that dress" Niles "You'd have to be dead 6 months just to fit in it" CC "She even thought you were going to kill ME" Niles "I wouldn't dream of touching you like any other man" I know that his line but I'm not sure if that's hers. He KILLS me I love him.
	__________________ * How it all came down to this, only the Devil knows. Retail Rodeo is at the corner on my left. The motel is down the road to my right. I close my eyes and try to peer into the future. On my left, I saw days upon days of lipstick and ticking clocks, dirty looks and quiet whisperings. And burning secrets that just won't ever die away. And on my right, what could I picture? The blue sky, the desert earth, stretching out into the eerie infinity. A beautiful never-ending nothing. ~Justine, "The Good Girl" * Bush for President! Last edited by Nanny Fine; 04-11-2004 at 02:51 PM.

04-12-2004, 01:51 PM	#5
Kristen Member Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 17, 2000 Location: New York, USA Posts: 4,042	I can't believe I forgot the "CaCa" line, that's one of my all-time faves! Right, Allison? I just got done watching "Fran's Gotta Have It" (Finally got it on tape - yay!) and I heard this: Niles:Mr. Sheffield telephoned. He hasn't seen Celine Dion yet. C.C.:Well, then, what is he doing in London? Niles:One would hope, Miss Fine.
	Last edited by Kristen; 04-12-2004 at 02:32 PM.

10-30-2004, 06:36 AM	#14
Alicia Blair Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Oct 28, 2004 Location: Here on Earth Posts: 70	Niles Rocks! I still love the line where CC comes into the kitchen holding 'Jay Leno's dog and she says CC: "What is this?" Niles: "An annoying yapping dog" CC nods Niles: "Holding a chihuahua. And there's another episode where Niles sends CC to the store,and then says Niles: "Get a little rawhide chewie for yourself". And one more...... CC comes to the breakfast table,and Niles insults her and Maxwell tells him off,and then Niles says Niles: Sorry sir,but you know how i feel about her eating inside".
	__________________ George Costanza's answering machine:Believe it or not George isn't at home please leave a message at the beep.I must be out or I'd pick up the phone Where could I be? Believe it or not I'm not home. Ohhh only 865,7970,6067 days till I start caring what you think Gracie:I ran away. I took a limo. Fran Fine: (to Sylvia) I ran away, I took a banana. Jeannie pink and delicious.Granting her master's wishes.Making NASA suspicious.Sexy.Dreamy and dancy.Gorgeous.Every mans fancy

04-12-2004, 08:37 AM	#4
Rill Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Dec 11, 2003 Posts: 170	I can mainly think of dialogs between Niles and CC but here are my Niles quotes... (Oh! Some "quotes" aren't word by word... because I watch it dubbed): "Did CaCa do a no no in the kitchen? Now she's going to have to clean it up!" "You realize of course, now I'm going to have to kill you." "Just Niles... like Cher." "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" "Well, sorta, kinda..." "I'm sorry Sir, I just got so excited. I mean when she said...., then you said...., and when she said "I quit," I just wanted to roll over, light up, and watch Letterman." "I'm half French." "Toot toot!" And... just because we spoke about that... "wear something"... "Velcro!"... lol I can think of more right now... but I love Niles!

04-12-2004, 03:42 PM	#7
Kristen Member Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 17, 2000 Location: New York, USA Posts: 4,042	I heard yet another good one during "The Morning After." (After Niles' heart attack) Max:If I don't tell someone soon, I'll have an ulcer! Niles:Yes, and we all know your health should be what's foremost in our minds. I just love how he says that! I love Niles to death.

04-13-2004, 12:30 PM	#8
Fran=Lucy Oh, Viv! Occasional Poster Join Date: Feb 07, 2004 Location: The Island of Enchantment, PUERTO RICO! Posts: 91	Yesterday I saw "The Kibbutz" and CC said something about not being around for Christmas and Niles said : "Oh, Santa got my letter!" Hahaha! Loved that one! And at the end of that episode when he's on his vacation, he saw that CC was there too and he said...hm..oy, don't know the song but it's the same song from the movie, "Beetlejuice".

04-13-2004, 02:24 PM	#9
Rill Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Dec 11, 2003 Posts: 170	In "Strange Bedfellows" Niles asks CC: "What are you doing here? The sun is up already!" I loved that line! lol

04-16-2004, 02:56 PM	#11
Fran=Lucy Oh, Viv! Occasional Poster Join Date: Feb 07, 2004 Location: The Island of Enchantment, PUERTO RICO! Posts: 91	Yeah, and we can see how much he wanted them to be together!

08-22-2004, 03:50 AM	#12
OKCRay Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Apr 18, 2003 Location: Area 51 Posts: 328	Niles is in the living room doing the Tom Cruise "Old Time Rock and Roll" dance (including strumming his feather duster like a guitar!). For the moment he has the house all to himself, then Miss Babcock enters and catches him in the act. Niles: "You realize now that I will have to kill you!"

08-22-2004, 03:05 PM	#13
zypherix Member Forum Regular Join Date: Aug 14, 2003 Posts: 734	I cant pick a favorite but here are some good ones: from "Ode to Barbara Joan" C.C: This pattern is hideous Niles: Thats not the pattern, it's your reflection from "Take Back your Mink" C.C: Aren't these elephant tusks excuisit (sp?) Niles: And here I thought you had your wisdom teeth pulled. from "Piskhe Business" Max: Where is C.C.? Niles: It's raining outside, sir. Maybe she melted. Should I go out and look for a pointy hat and a Chanel suit? from "Fran Lite" C.C: Isnt a decade the standard time of mourning? Niles: Die! Lets find out. from "A Kiss is just a Kiss" (after C.C. accidently kisses Niles) Niles: Was it as bad for you as it was for me?

10-31-2004, 10:40 PM	#15
Miss Fine TV's Sexiest Nanny Occasional Poster Join Date: Oct 31, 2004 Location: The Sheffield Mansion Posts: 26	Niles comments towards CC were always hilarious.My favourite though is CC: I thought you were trying to help me! Niles: Ohhhh you baboon why would i help you?
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