"The Bernsteins"-A new sitcom starring Natalie Portman and Jay Mohr! - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Sitcomwriter · 04-07-2004, 04:11 AM

Natalie Meckstern (Natalie Portman) graduated college in 2002 but decided not to go to med school as originally planned. Instead she decided to write a sitcom pilot for the fledging HBT network. That sitcom was titled "Jewish American Princess" and was semi-autobiographical. The show premiered in the Fall of 2003 and.... was cancelled after only 1 episode. A year later, the network's president, Nigel Goddard (Hugh Jackman), has hired Natalie to write a new pilot for the 2004-2005 season, "The Bernsteins" but there's a catch.... she must co-write it with veteran sitcom writer Danny Vee (Jay Mohr), the writer of the long-running sitcom "Frat Houze", which Natalie despises. Natalie lives in a NYC apartment with her roommate, actress Whitney Black (Debra Wilson). Natalie and Danny decide to write the pilot at her place and that's where the tension starts. Whitney thinks that Natalie might have a little crush on Danny but she tells her that she despises him. Will Natalie and Danny write their sitcom or will it fail on many levels? This is SWN 1's 2nd attempt at giving Natalie Portman a lead role in a sitcom. The 1st was the short-lived (1 episode) "I Love Natalie".

Theme Song:"(Give Me) Fever"

Cast:
Natalie Portman as Natalie Meckstern
Jay Mohr as Danny Vee
Debra Wilson as Whitney Black (Episodes 1-80, Recurring Otherwise)
Kelly Rowlands as Denise Baptista (Episodes 81- )
Enrico Colintoni as Gust Bankteski (Episodes 55-95)
Fred Stoller as Fred Case (Episodes 96- )
Kal Penn as Ramir Radel (Episodes 41-54)
William Hung as Charlie Kim (Episodes 24-40)
Ricky Gervais as Ricky Breckin (Episodes 42- )
Hugh Jackman as Nigel Goddard (Seasons 1-2, Recurring Otherwise)

Sitcomwriter · 04-07-2004, 06:23 PM

"The Bernsteins" Episode List
Season 1
1.Pilot Season
2.Kiddie Show
3.Filming Disaster
4.All Picked Up
5.Writer's Blocked (1)
6.Writer's Blocked (2)
7.Danny's Roommate
8.I Spy Jealousy
9.Snowed Innie
10.I'm Pissed, That Kiss
11.Her Boyfriend's Back
12.Meeting the Mecksterns
13.Uncle Jeremiah
14.Dinner Non-Date
15.That Variety Show
16.(Not) The Season Finale
17.The Morning After
18.An Unfine Romance (1)
19.An Unfine Romance (2)
Season 2
20.The 2nd Season
21.Death Wish 21
22.Whtiney Black's Bobby Brown
23.Reality Showboat
24.Great Personality
25.Rehab Driver
26.Oh Drama!
27.The Celebrity Name Game
28.Another First Kiss
29.Coupling (1)
30.Coupling (2)
31.Break a Leg, Charlie
32.Take My Ex-Wife, Please!
33.Problem Smile
34.Danny the Sicko
35.We Must Be Serious!
36.The Big Move (1)
37.The Big Move (2)
38.Three's Company.... or is it?
39.The Really Big Season Finale (1)
40.The Really Big Season Finale (2)
Season 3
41.Cha-Cha-Changes
42.Cousin Ricky
43.The Kama Sudafed
44.
45.
46.
47.
48.
49.
50.
51.
52.
53.
54.Ramir No Here
55.A Gust of Wind
56.
57.
58.
59.
60.
Season 4
61.
62.
63.

Sitcomwriter · 04-07-2004, 06:49 PM

"The Bernsteins" Episode Guide

Season 1

1.Pilot Season
Nigel wants Natalie and Danny to write a sitcom together called "The Bernsteins" but they have different ideas for the show.

2.Kiddie Show
Nigel wants Natalie and Danny to find a replacement for a retiring kiddie show host named Mister Mister, who both Natalie and Danny watched as kids.

3.Filming Disaster
Whitney is upset about only being a supporting character while the actor who plays Jason Digvee, the show's male lead, quits while filming.

4.All Picked Up
Despite the last-minute casting of Danny as Jason, the network picks up 6 episodes of "The Bernsteins" for midseason.

5.Writer's Blocked (1)
While writing the show's 2nd and 3rd episodes, Natalie and Danny can't think of any ideas.

6.Writer's Blocked (2)
Nigel hires Debra Vince (Rachel Dratch), a lesbian sitcom writer, to write the show with Natalie and Danny.

7.Danny's Roommate
Natalie meets and is instantly attracted to Scott, Danny's roommate and "Frat Houze" co-writer, and starts dating him.

8.I Spy Jealousy
Whitney can sense that Danny is jealous of Scott.

9.Snowed Innie
Natalie and Danny are snowed in at her place and thanks to his bad back, are forced to share a room and a bed.... and end up kissing.

10.I'm Pissed, That Kiss
Natalie and Danny feel awkward around each other after their kiss.

11.Her Boyfriend's Back
Scott tries to win Natalie back.

12.Meeting the Mecksterns
Natalie's parents visit, thinking that she is in med school and that Danny is Scott.

13.Uncle Jeremiah
Natalie's Uncle Jeremiah crashes on her couch and wants to guest star on the show.

14.Dinner Non-Date
Natalie and Danny go out to dinner but claim that it isn't a date.

15.That Variety Show
Nigel wants Natalie and Danny to write the skits for an episode of the hit variety show "The Kurt Collins Show".

16.(Not) The Season Finale
Natalie and Danny have different views on how to end the show's 1st season.

17.The Morning After
Natalie and Danny watch the season finale and the morning after, they wake up in bed together.

18.An Unfine Romance (1)
Natalie breaks up with Scott when she realizes that Danny is the guy she truely loves.

19.An Unfine Romance (2)
Natalie goes to tell Danny that she broke up with Scott and catches him in a compromising position with another woman.

Season 2

20.The 2nd Season
Despite their fighting, Natalie and Danny go to work on the 2nd season of "The Bernsteins".

21.Death Wish 21
The actor who plays Gary, Jason's best friend and roommate is found dead.

22.Whitney Black's Bobby Brown
Whitney's new boyfriend (David Alan Grier) is gay and is using her to get to Danny.

23.Reality Showboat
Natalie and Danny go on a cruise to promote the show. The problem is that the cruise is filled with a bunch of writer's worst nightmares.... reality show contestants. Richard Hatch, Susan Hawk, Troy and Sam from "The Apprentice" and more guest star!

24.Great Personality
Nigel hires Charlie Kim to write the show with Natalie and Danny. He says that he "can't write for crap but has a great personality".

25.Rehab Driver
An actor (Hershel Bleefield) wants Danny to drive him to rehab.

26.Oh Drama!
Nigel wants Natalie and Danny to write a drama series but they know nothing about drama and it ends up being a trainwreck.

27.The Celebrity Name Game
Danny appears on a game show as a celebrity contestant.

28.Another First Kiss
Charlie is sick and Whitney is visiting her relatives while Natalie and Danny work on writing the newest episode and end up kissing.... again.

29.Coupling (1)
Natalie and Danny decide to become an official couple but set some ground rules.

30.Coupling (2)
Natalie and Danny try to hide their relationship from their friends and family.

31.Break a Leg, Charlie
After Charlie breaks his leg, Danny comes up with a bunch of great ideas for episodes.

04-07-2004, 04:11 AM	#1
Sitcomwriter Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Feb 27, 2001 Posts: 7,356	"The Bernsteins"-A new sitcom starring Natalie Portman and Jay Mohr! Natalie Meckstern (Natalie Portman) graduated college in 2002 but decided not to go to med school as originally planned. Instead she decided to write a sitcom pilot for the fledging HBT network. That sitcom was titled "Jewish American Princess" and was semi-autobiographical. The show premiered in the Fall of 2003 and.... was cancelled after only 1 episode. A year later, the network's president, Nigel Goddard (Hugh Jackman), has hired Natalie to write a new pilot for the 2004-2005 season, "The Bernsteins" but there's a catch.... she must co-write it with veteran sitcom writer Danny Vee (Jay Mohr), the writer of the long-running sitcom "Frat Houze", which Natalie despises. Natalie lives in a NYC apartment with her roommate, actress Whitney Black (Debra Wilson). Natalie and Danny decide to write the pilot at her place and that's where the tension starts. Whitney thinks that Natalie might have a little crush on Danny but she tells her that she despises him. Will Natalie and Danny write their sitcom or will it fail on many levels? This is SWN 1's 2nd attempt at giving Natalie Portman a lead role in a sitcom. The 1st was the short-lived (1 episode) "I Love Natalie". Theme Song:"(Give Me) Fever" Cast: Natalie Portman as Natalie Meckstern Jay Mohr as Danny Vee Debra Wilson as Whitney Black (Episodes 1-80, Recurring Otherwise) Kelly Rowlands as Denise Baptista (Episodes 81- ) Enrico Colintoni as Gust Bankteski (Episodes 55-95) Fred Stoller as Fred Case (Episodes 96- ) Kal Penn as Ramir Radel (Episodes 41-54) William Hung as Charlie Kim (Episodes 24-40) Ricky Gervais as Ricky Breckin (Episodes 42- ) Hugh Jackman as Nigel Goddard (Seasons 1-2, Recurring Otherwise)
	Last edited by Sitcomwriter; 06-06-2004 at 04:31 PM.

04-07-2004, 06:23 PM	#2
Sitcomwriter Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Feb 27, 2001 Posts: 7,356	"The Bernsteins" Episode List "The Bernsteins" Episode List Season 1 1.Pilot Season 2.Kiddie Show 3.Filming Disaster 4.All Picked Up 5.Writer's Blocked (1) 6.Writer's Blocked (2) 7.Danny's Roommate 8.I Spy Jealousy 9.Snowed Innie 10.I'm Pissed, That Kiss 11.Her Boyfriend's Back 12.Meeting the Mecksterns 13.Uncle Jeremiah 14.Dinner Non-Date 15.That Variety Show 16.(Not) The Season Finale 17.The Morning After 18.An Unfine Romance (1) 19.An Unfine Romance (2) Season 2 20.The 2nd Season 21.Death Wish 21 22.Whtiney Black's Bobby Brown 23.Reality Showboat 24.Great Personality 25.Rehab Driver 26.Oh Drama! 27.The Celebrity Name Game 28.Another First Kiss 29.Coupling (1) 30.Coupling (2) 31.Break a Leg, Charlie 32.Take My Ex-Wife, Please! 33.Problem Smile 34.Danny the Sicko 35.We Must Be Serious! 36.The Big Move (1) 37.The Big Move (2) 38.Three's Company.... or is it? 39.The Really Big Season Finale (1) 40.The Really Big Season Finale (2) Season 3 41.Cha-Cha-Changes 42.Cousin Ricky 43.The Kama Sudafed 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. 51. 52. 53. 54.Ramir No Here 55.A Gust of Wind 56. 57. 58. 59. 60. Season 4 61. 62. 63.
	Last edited by Sitcomwriter; 04-09-2004 at 01:40 AM.

04-07-2004, 06:49 PM	#3
Sitcomwriter Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Feb 27, 2001 Posts: 7,356	"The Bernsteins" Episode Guide "The Bernsteins" Episode Guide Season 1 1.Pilot Season Nigel wants Natalie and Danny to write a sitcom together called "The Bernsteins" but they have different ideas for the show. 2.Kiddie Show Nigel wants Natalie and Danny to find a replacement for a retiring kiddie show host named Mister Mister, who both Natalie and Danny watched as kids. 3.Filming Disaster Whitney is upset about only being a supporting character while the actor who plays Jason Digvee, the show's male lead, quits while filming. 4.All Picked Up Despite the last-minute casting of Danny as Jason, the network picks up 6 episodes of "The Bernsteins" for midseason. 5.Writer's Blocked (1) While writing the show's 2nd and 3rd episodes, Natalie and Danny can't think of any ideas. 6.Writer's Blocked (2) Nigel hires Debra Vince (Rachel Dratch), a lesbian sitcom writer, to write the show with Natalie and Danny. 7.Danny's Roommate Natalie meets and is instantly attracted to Scott, Danny's roommate and "Frat Houze" co-writer, and starts dating him. 8.I Spy Jealousy Whitney can sense that Danny is jealous of Scott. 9.Snowed Innie Natalie and Danny are snowed in at her place and thanks to his bad back, are forced to share a room and a bed.... and end up kissing. 10.I'm Pissed, That Kiss Natalie and Danny feel awkward around each other after their kiss. 11.Her Boyfriend's Back Scott tries to win Natalie back. 12.Meeting the Mecksterns Natalie's parents visit, thinking that she is in med school and that Danny is Scott. 13.Uncle Jeremiah Natalie's Uncle Jeremiah crashes on her couch and wants to guest star on the show. 14.Dinner Non-Date Natalie and Danny go out to dinner but claim that it isn't a date. 15.That Variety Show Nigel wants Natalie and Danny to write the skits for an episode of the hit variety show "The Kurt Collins Show". 16.(Not) The Season Finale Natalie and Danny have different views on how to end the show's 1st season. 17.The Morning After Natalie and Danny watch the season finale and the morning after, they wake up in bed together. 18.An Unfine Romance (1) Natalie breaks up with Scott when she realizes that Danny is the guy she truely loves. 19.An Unfine Romance (2) Natalie goes to tell Danny that she broke up with Scott and catches him in a compromising position with another woman. Season 2 20.The 2nd Season Despite their fighting, Natalie and Danny go to work on the 2nd season of "The Bernsteins". 21.Death Wish 21 The actor who plays Gary, Jason's best friend and roommate is found dead. 22.Whitney Black's Bobby Brown Whitney's new boyfriend (David Alan Grier) is gay and is using her to get to Danny. 23.Reality Showboat Natalie and Danny go on a cruise to promote the show. The problem is that the cruise is filled with a bunch of writer's worst nightmares.... reality show contestants. Richard Hatch, Susan Hawk, Troy and Sam from "The Apprentice" and more guest star! 24.Great Personality Nigel hires Charlie Kim to write the show with Natalie and Danny. He says that he "can't write for crap but has a great personality". 25.Rehab Driver An actor (Hershel Bleefield) wants Danny to drive him to rehab. 26.Oh Drama! Nigel wants Natalie and Danny to write a drama series but they know nothing about drama and it ends up being a trainwreck. 27.The Celebrity Name Game Danny appears on a game show as a celebrity contestant. 28.Another First Kiss Charlie is sick and Whitney is visiting her relatives while Natalie and Danny work on writing the newest episode and end up kissing.... again. 29.Coupling (1) Natalie and Danny decide to become an official couple but set some ground rules. 30.Coupling (2) Natalie and Danny try to hide their relationship from their friends and family. 31.Break a Leg, Charlie After Charlie breaks his leg, Danny comes up with a bunch of great ideas for episodes.
	Last edited by Sitcomwriter; 04-08-2004 at 04:37 PM.