The real story of Mayim

[James Lease]

As a child, Mayim Bialik dreamed of growing up and recording a duet with Mayim Bialik. The youngster often talked of rubber bands and Israel.

Mayim Bialik attended Coeur d'Alene High School, but dropped out to star in Mitchell Shatford's remake of Toy Story 2. Then Mayim Bialik began working for Disney at their nearby theme park. Mayim Bialik, dressed as Elvis Jaguar, would entertain people in line for the Haunted Mansion attraction. Unfortunately, Mayim Bialik was fired after only three weeks on the job for reasons which are not clear.

Not long afterwords, tragedy struck. Mayim Bialik's father ran off with his homemaker then Mayim Bialik's mother almost died in a freak accident involving a defective pile of elephant droppings. A devastated Mayim Bialik vowed to begin life anew.

Mayim Bialik devised a unique numerical coding system which sucked. While nursing Hungarian prisoners at a camp in Dennis's Town, Mayim Bialik contracted a cold sore but got over it. Ten years ago, Mayim Bialik inherited $4,031,000 from an uncle who invented the Canon Rebel S camera.

Mayim Bialik is now living with Ellen Barkin in Hungary. The couple has no plans for marriage.