What The Hell Kind Of Bylaw Is This??? - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Jenya · 04-01-2004, 11:59 AM

Bylaw Drives Joggers Nuts!!
Toronto Police train radar on speedy runners Crackdown to help mating squirrels

By Bill Taylor
TORONTO STAR

Thursday April 01, 2004

A new crackdown on speeders is being launched today with police concentrating their radar traps on parks all over the Greater Toronto Area (GTA).

Their targets will not be motorists but joggers.

In a rare example of environmental co-operation, mayors across the megacity have joined to rush through a temporary bylaw requiring joggers in parks to run no faster than 10 km/h. The region's distinctive black squirrels are entering their mating season and, with the squirrel population falling in recent years, ecologists urge that they be disturbed as little as possible.

For the six-week duration of the speed limit, unofficially dubbed "Operation Quickie," first offenders will be issued a warning. Repeat speeders will be fined as much as $500, depending on how fast they were running. They will be banned from parks for up to a year and required to attend animal-sensitivity classes.

"We're not saying black squirrels are on the verge of extinction," said zoologist Flora Lipo. "And, yes, some people regard them as pests. But they're quite a scarce variety of Sciurus carolinensis,the eastern gray squirrel, and it would be a shame if their numbers were thinned out to the point where they were forced to mate with their more common cousins and became mundane dark gray squirrels.

"Research indicates that one of the greatest inhibiting factors to amorous squirrels is joggers travelling at excessive speeds. It's not simply the wind of their passage but also the rhythmic thudding of their feet and their panting breath.

Dutabi84 · 04-01-2004, 12:05 PM

So a squirrel can bust a nut when someone runs by only at mph < 10 ?

Weird.

Jenya · 04-01-2004, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dutabi84
So a squirrel can bust a nut when someone runs by only at mph < 10 ?

That's 10 kilometers per hour (km/h). That would roughly be 5 miles per hour (mph). And yes- it is a pretty dumb bylaw.
I never thought squrriels had rights. I wonder if you have to jog even slower if one happens to like to drink a beer.

Dutabi84 · 04-01-2004, 12:44 PM

Oopsy I misread the km/h thing. Can't the squirrels find another place to get nasty? Besides, I doubt a majority of the squirrel population is right by where joggers need to run. There's plenty of nature for the lil' punks to do their business.

Jenya · 04-01-2004, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dutabi84
Oopsy I misread the km/h thing. Can't the squirrels find another place to get nasty? Besides, I doubt a majority of the squirrel population is right by where joggers need to run. There's plenty of nature for the lil' punks to do their business.

I have a feeling the Toronto cops need some extra cash. In any case, as dumb as this bylaw is, I guess it's only enforced for 6 weeks. So If Torontonians want to jog, they'll just have to wait around until mid May.

dawsongirl · 04-01-2004, 09:02 PM

I hate squirrels. They can all not mate as far as I'm concerned.

Brent88 · 04-02-2004, 12:36 AM

My mom hates squirrels. They knock over her bird feeder house things. One of these days she's going to get a gun and shoot them.

04-01-2004, 11:59 AM	#1
Jenya Supervisor Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 20, 2003 Location: Canmore, Alberta Posts: 3,359	What The Hell Kind Of Bylaw Is This??? Bylaw Drives Joggers Nuts!! Toronto Police train radar on speedy runners Crackdown to help mating squirrels By Bill Taylor TORONTO STAR Thursday April 01, 2004 A new crackdown on speeders is being launched today with police concentrating their radar traps on parks all over the Greater Toronto Area (GTA). Their targets will not be motorists but joggers. In a rare example of environmental co-operation, mayors across the megacity have joined to rush through a temporary bylaw requiring joggers in parks to run no faster than 10 km/h. The region's distinctive black squirrels are entering their mating season and, with the squirrel population falling in recent years, ecologists urge that they be disturbed as little as possible. For the six-week duration of the speed limit, unofficially dubbed "Operation Quickie," first offenders will be issued a warning. Repeat speeders will be fined as much as $500, depending on how fast they were running. They will be banned from parks for up to a year and required to attend animal-sensitivity classes. "We're not saying black squirrels are on the verge of extinction," said zoologist Flora Lipo. "And, yes, some people regard them as pests. But they're quite a scarce variety of Sciurus carolinensis,the eastern gray squirrel, and it would be a shame if their numbers were thinned out to the point where they were forced to mate with their more common cousins and became mundane dark gray squirrels. "Research indicates that one of the greatest inhibiting factors to amorous squirrels is joggers travelling at excessive speeds. It's not simply the wind of their passage but also the rhythmic thudding of their feet and their panting breath.
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04-02-2004, 12:36 AM	#7
Brent88 Member Forum Star Join Date: Aug 01, 2003 Location: Alabama Posts: 16,174	My mom hates squirrels. They knock over her bird feeder house things. One of these days she's going to get a gun and shoot them.
	__________________ Brent

04-01-2004, 12:05 PM	#2
Dutabi84 kittens must die Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 22, 2003 Location: MN/TX Posts: 11,026	So a squirrel can bust a nut when someone runs by only at mph < 10 ? Weird.

04-01-2004, 12:44 PM	#4
Dutabi84 kittens must die Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 22, 2003 Location: MN/TX Posts: 11,026	Oopsy I misread the km/h thing. Can't the squirrels find another place to get nasty? Besides, I doubt a majority of the squirrel population is right by where joggers need to run. There's plenty of nature for the lil' punks to do their business.

04-01-2004, 09:02 PM	#6
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	I hate squirrels. They can all not mate as far as I'm concerned.